[TG/RC] A Misunderstanding (Patreon)

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Ian cringed as he slathered his arm in yet another layer of thick sunscreen. He and Lily had arrived at the barbeque only an hour ago and already he was being forced to reapply. His pasty white complexion simply did not hold up against the July sun. Lily giggled, helping him apply another layer to the back of his neck and he grumbled.

“Why can't they make sunscreen that feels less…slimy?” He complained.

“I know what you mean, I am glad I don’t have to put much on at all.”

Ian sighed in jealousy; his wife was gorgeous, with ebony black skin, dark eyes and thick lashes and hair. She never burned, a thin layer of sunscreen was all she needed to stay burn free and he’d always been so jealous. It was a cruel twist of fate; that God gave him such delicate white skin when he loved the outdoors so much. It didn't matter how careful he was, or how much protection he wore, a day or so later he was always laying in an icy bath trying to cool his skin as it peeled. Disgusting.

“If only I were black,” He sighed dramatically, his voice thick with sarcasm, “Then my life would be so much easier.”

“Oh yes.” Lily chuckled, “No downsides at all.”

“Downsides? Not at all, life as a black woman is infamously easy in this day and age.”

She smacked him on the shoulder and snorted.

“You shouldn't say shit like that.” She whispered.

“Oh come on, we’re among friends here, they know I am joking.”

Ian turned and raised a hand to cup his wife's cheek and kissed her deeply.

“Now, let’s go enjoy some beer and food before I start to crackle again.”

“You joke but I swear last summer I really did hear your skin cracking in the sun.”

“Don’t remind me.”

They rejoined the rest of their friends around the barbeque and Ian went over to the ice box to grab a beer only to find his pathway blocked by Tanya. He and Tanya had never really seen eye to eye; but she was one of Lily’s oldest friends so he always made an effort to be polite to her and she him. RIght now though her nose was scrunched up and her arms were crossed against her chest; she looked…furious.

“Is everything okay?”

“No, it’s not.” Tanya said matter-of-factly, “you think you can just talk like that and get away with it?”

“Like…what?” He blinked, utterly confused. If anything his obliviousness seemed to make Tanya angrier as her nostrils flared.

“You seriously don’t know what I am talking about, do you?” She said, disgusted, “You don't see anything wrong with how you were just talking to Lily?”

“Wha-Oh! No, that was just a joke.”

“Just a joke.” Tanya rolled her eyes, “What what racist assholes always say when they get called out. I can’t believe you. I always knew you weren't good enough for Lily but to learn just how awful you really are-”

“Really, Tanya, this is just a misunderstanding.” Ian held up his hands, glancing behind him in the hopes that somebody was overhearing this, preferably Lily so she could come over and clear his name.

“See, you know you’re wrong, you just hate being called out.” Tanya said with a satisfied smile, “Scared people might hear what I am saying.”

“Yes, but not because-”

“You admit it!” She pointed a finger in his direction and smiled cruelly, “I knew it.”

“No!”

How the hell had this gotten so out of control, the last thing he wanted to do was cause trouble for Lily by making one of her best friends hate him. Ian had never been great with words though and his tongue felt thick in his mouth as panic set in. This was the sort of misunderstanding that ruined entire friend groups and meeting new people as an adult was hard enough! Silently he cursed himself; Lily was right, he shouldn’t have made that stupid joke but it wasn’t his fault Tanya apparently didn’t understand sarcasm!

“Well, I am going to teach you a lesson.” Tanya said smugly, “I promised Lily I wouldn't do this anymore but you twisted my arm.”

“Do what?”

Ian took a step back as Lily rushed at him and for a second he squeezed his eyes closed; waiting for a slap. He couldn’t hit her back, even he knew that would only make things worse. So he braced for the blow and…nothing. He opened his eyes to see Lily just…dramatically pointing at him? He blinked and glanced around to see if anybody else was seeing this only to notice that the whole area was frozen.

For a second he breathed a sigh of relief; some sort of prank. The others had to be in on it since they were all frozen half way through moving but then he noticed the bird; half way through flapping its wings as it crossed the yard, suspended in thin air as if by wires. The whole world was frozen in time; not even a breeze. He and Tanya were the only people still moving.

“What the hell?”

“It’s time for you to get a taste of your own medicine.”

“How the he-ow!”

A sudden pressure formed in Ian’s stomach, causing him to double over. Actually, pressure was the wrong word, it almost felt like suction; like his insides were being down inwards. He watched as his shirt turned loose around his middle as he lifted it to see why he noticed his middle cinching in as his hips began to move outwards.

A shocked and confused sound escaped his lips and he winced as his bones clicked; tiny stabs of pain followed by an oddly relaxing stretching sensation filled him as his body began to change shape. His chest became tight and slightly sore as the skin there began to swell into two round balls before taking on a heavier, teardrop shape; breasts.

“Tanya how the-why the-WHAT?” He couldn’t find the words, or his voice evidently as the words that came out of his mouth didn't sound like him at all. In fact, they sounded feminine, just like his rapidly changing figure.

“You’re going to see just how rough it can be to be a woman, you sexist racist asshat.”

“I didn’t even say anything sexist!” Ian cried as he desperately tried to squash the new breasts he was growing back into his chest.

“Aha! But you do admit you were racist.”

Ian just groaned, there was no reasoning with her and he had bigger problems. He could feel his skull burning slightly as hair began to grow from it. Tight, curling dark locks even more tightly wound than Lily’s. They seemed to defy gravity, growing up into a fluffy afro around his head; just a small one at least.

His clothing was starting to change as well, forming into a pair of tight fitting black jeans and a red singlet top that suited his new busty physique and showed off his midriff. Allowing him to see one other big change that was overtaking him. His pasty white skin was turning a rich shade of brown, then darkening further until he could have been Lily’s twin. Not only was Tanya somehow changing his gender, she was changing his race as well!

As his skin changed he felt that suction that had started in his stomach move southwards along with a flash of panic. His eyes met Tanya’s for a moment, hard and gleeful, she was enjoying this. Then he felt the air gasp out of his lungs as he felt his cock and balls ascend back inside him and a hole took its place. For a moment he felt dizzy and then, finally the strange warping sensation ended and he was standing; now fully transformed into a black woman in the middle of the frozen scene.

“H-how?” he croaked, too shocked to say anything more eloquent.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, now, let’s see how easy things are, huh?”

She raised her fingers and snapped them, suddenly bringing the world back to life and Ian found himself a stranger in his friend's yard. It wasn't a record scratch moment, rather he turned to notice several of his friends giving him off glances before Lily herself came up to him and Tanya, who was grinning like the cat that got the cream.

“Hey, Tanya, who’s your friend?” Lily asked, holding out her hand oblivious. “I’m Lily.”

Before he could stop himself Ian blurted out.

“Lily, it’s me!”

“Oh I’m sorry, have we met before? That’s so embarrassing.” She blushed and Tanya cackled.

“Lily, it’s me.” He whispered again so nobody around the barbeque would hear. “Ian.”

Lily looked at him like he was a crazy person and Ian couldn’t even blame her.

“I know this sounds insane but Tanya did…something.” He held out his now dark palms to her, knowing full well how insane he sounded, “She turned me into a woman!”

Lily blinked a few times and for a second Ian was sure she would call the cops to take this sane woman away but instead her eyes went straight to Tanya.

“You promise!”

“I had to make an exception for you.” Tanya said, her voice full of sympathy, “I heard how he was talking about you, and what’s worse is that you seemed to think it’s okay.”

“Tanya, he was joking. I know you’ve always been terrible with sarcasm and social cues but this is too far.” Lily pinched her nose in frustration, “This white knighting-”

“It’s not! I am standing up for you. Once he’s been a black woman for a few days he won't dare make jokes like that anymore.” Tanya replied, “and you’ll understand I only did this for your own good.”

“Turn. Him. Back.”

“No.”

Ian watched the two friends bicker, the rest of the party now turning to face them, giving this stranger quizzical looks.

“Uh, maybe we could take this conversation somewhere private?” Ian suggested, feeling his cheeks heat as his friends looked at him without any recognition.

“Good idea.” Lily grabbed him roughly by the hand and ragged him around the side of the house, doing the same to Tanya so she couldn't run off.

Ianm wobbled hopelessly in his heels, stumbling as the thin heel sunk into the grass and knocked him off balance every second step. Tanya laughed at his expense and he felt his face flushing further. He had no idea how to move in this body, his hips and ass seemed to have a mind of their own, and no matter how hard he tried it always felt like they were swaying obscenely. Or perhaps he was simply not used to the extra weight.

“Right, Tanya, I mean it-”

“Can somebody please explain how the hell this happened?” Ian interrupted, “Don't get me wrong Lily, I am glad you believe me but I am a little shocked at just how quickly you did considering….”

“Yes well, believe it or not you’re not the first partner Tanya has done this to.” Lily sighed, crossing her arms, “Tanya here is a witch, a powerful one but she happens to use her powers in completely arbitrary ways.”

“It’s not arbitrary, it simply takes time to build up enough magical reserve for big spells. Like transforming a human.”

“Does that mean you can't change me back?” Ian squeaked.

“No, I could. But I won’t.”

“Tanya…” Lily said with a warning tone.

“No, trust me. This’ll be good, you’ll see his true colours, besides, you’ve always had a bi-curious side.”

Ian’s head whipped around to stare at his wife open mouthed.

“What?”

“Tanya!” She hissed, cheeks turning red, “That was private.”

Ian’s head immediately filled with images of the two of them, their dark bodies intertwined and for a moment he was very glass he no longer had a cock; it would certainly have gone hard and given away his arousal. Humiliation flooded him; how could his mind have gone there when the situation was so damn dire? Tanya reached out and placed her hands on Lily’s shoulders.

“Trust me. I promise if you still want me to, I will change him back in a month.”

“A month!?”

Ian slapped a palm over his mouth; he’d shrieked so loudly he even shocked himself. Lily tried to reason with her, but Tanya’s mind was made up. She waved goodbye to them, a wicked grin on her face as she rejoined the party and they were left standing alone to deal with the mess she’d made. Lily gave him a sympathetic look.

“I guess we’re just going to have to find a way to live with this.”

Ian’s heart sank; he was afraid she’d say something like that.