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EAC Chapter 19 (Patreon)

Published:
2018-12-23 20:12:25
Edited:
2020-04-23 23:36:12
Imported:
2021-06

Content

Apologies for the long wait this month, my cold came back and I couldn't focus on editing to save my life. But even though I lost two weeks I'm happy to bring you the second to last chapter of the series. Time to see who comes out on top!

https://www.dropbox.com/s/sqb3hxkmn58o3y9/EC%20chapter%2019.pdf?dl=0

Edit: So this actually isn't the penultimate chapter! There might be a handful of chapters coming, with plenty of action you can enjoy! Thanks for waiting and hope all of you enjoy the fun to come

Comments

ParagonRocky

I missed out on commenting on the last chapter, but I'm back for this one! :D Wow, I've been waiting to get to this point for a while. Time for some concept commentary... The original outline I gave Sammy over a year ago was nowhere near as intricate as what we ended up getting, for which I am grateful. I had envisioned this as a sort of erotic horror story, with a slasher stalking victims through an isolated mansion and turning them one-by-one. It was a fairly limited concept that was expanded into a more complex and suspenseful plot. So by this point, Rebecca would have been pursued by Amber as well as the entire cheer squad, stacking the odds against her. Since Amber got a lot more characterization in this version of the story and her own setbacks to keep things uncertain, this one-on-one showdown still keeps the tension up while giving us even odds as to who would win out. It's neatly exemplified in this chapter with the kitchen scene, where both Rebecca and Amber end up wiping out in the same way. Nobody has the advantage and both have ample motivation to win. Fun fact: During my conceptual phase, I named each of the cheerleaders in order of their brainwashing scenes, which ended up with their names in alphabetical order. Ashley, Emma, Ginger, Heather, Jade, Maria, Rebecca. Seems obvious in hindsight, doesn't it? I like that we got that last conversation between Rebecca and Amber to recap the impetus behind the whole plot. Things have spiraled out of anyone's control at this point, but Amber technically got the revenge she was initially looking for. Rebecca's just a bonus, but she's been such feisty prey that Amber can't just cut her losses and let her escape, even if nobody would possibly believe her story. The glass wall scene reminded me a lot of the attempted-Jeep escape, where it's left ambiguous if Rebecca's escape was the result of her fighting Amber's control or an accident resulting from her attempt to submit. I doubt even she knows which it really was. The finale was originally more of a spectacle, with the lights coming back on in the pool area and Rebecca's downfall taking place in the hot tub. For plot reasons that wouldn't have worked now since the power had to be off to let Rebecca's escape plan work. That did give us a lovely scene of Amber and Rebecca embracing underwater to close out the chapter, which might make for a nice illustration later. Normally I'd be concerned that Rebecca might just straight-up drown between Amber's tits, but these are fictional characters so I'm sure she'll be fine. :D The most interesting part to me was Amber's eleventh-hour superpower, which was basically telepathy. It's a natural extension of her normal powers, just juiced up to eleven. Since she's still young enough to have not had much practice with her abilities, and never had to use them so frequently in a short span, it seems like she might later be able to overcome her current limitations and enslave at range, or to affect multiple victims simultaneously. I've had several ideas for a sequel series, and this opens up a ton of possibilities. So, Amber wins! What to do now... ;)

Zelkova Tatl

I love how this chapter went it was simply amazing. Btw spell check needed on page 16 with "Amber been rejected." it should read "Amber had been rejected.". Then on page 15 "Amber should have charged after her, expect that Rebecca" and it should be "Amber should have charged after her, except that Rebeccaa". There was one for error I noticed with a "they" being somewhere it shouldn't but I can't find it at the moment. As I said before, I adore this chapter :D you are amazing and I can't wait for the next one.

ParagonRocky

Related: It's nearly time for me to post my fan-fiction version of EAC, which I've decided to do as a PDF that will go up on DeviantArt. DA requires a cover image, so I'll have to hire a commission artist for that. Depending on how cheap it is, I might get simple illustrations done for each of the 20 endings, or just the cover art. We'll see how it goes. :)

larqven

We've reached the penultimate chapter! Clearly, this story has grown by leaps and bounds from something that was meant to be only a few to several chapters, and be much smaller than the "Falling" story. It's been an enjoyable ride though, with unexpected twists and turns from the characters, particularly Maria. This chapter surely kept me guessing. The slipping on the kitchen tiles was funny, there was the wonder of if the 'mirror kryptonite' would work for Rebecca in the kitchen, or in the darkened windows by the pool. I loved the display and revelations of Amber's power in this chapter. One does wonder if Amber has the potential to get stronger and develop new powers. While she might have a limited pool to work with at any one time, she's pushed that pool to near exhaustion to have it quickly refill again and again in just the past several hours. And her exertions have not led her to exhaustion or failure, but to reveal that Amber can act as a telepath, at least on someone she's touched before. It shouldn't be a complete surprise, as Maria and Heather experienced 'touch telepathy' during Maria's downfall, but this was true telepathy from a distance that didn't require sight. And, I must say, I enjoyed Amber's breasts pushed against the glass, and reeling Rebecca in. The sight pulling Rebecca in, but the glass preventing the important touch. Until touch was quickly revealed to not be strictly necessary--anymore. Speaking of 'pools', the actual pool might have made for a good metaphor for Rebecca being lost, trapped and 'drowned' in Amber's power. I WAS waiting for the runner or pursuer to get a cut foot from some piece of broken glass from all the busted bottles from earlier between Emma and Jade. Escaping the pool area would not have been easy, as Jade found out herself, and Rebecca being naked on a cool night. The cold water that Rebecca got dunked in and waking her up at first was again interesting. Amber might have reason to soon regret jumping in! Well, they might soon go inside to warm up and perhaps shower and enjoy a sauna? Rebecca being without her mind or identity? Rather scary pronouncements for Rebecca! I also liked how Amber seems to have a sense of when someone is looking at her breasts, and also that she does seem to know something about her victims' psychology without asking them or successfully brainwashing them first. Again, fun seeing the pool water used as the analogy for bringing Rebecca down, and Amber even playing the part of a 'Siren'. I had to say that I was worried myself that the two might get drowned! Chapter 19 errors Rebecca found that she couldn't bare [bear] to lay a finger on her. (page 5) Rebecca jumped back, certain that the flimsy pole would fall [fail] her. (page 7) Amber [had] been rejected. (page 16)

Lord of Fate

I know I'm pathetic. But maybe there is at least a small chance of at least a little happy ending!))

sammynona
>>23030456

Don't worry, that's not pathetic at all. I love happy endings for characters, or at least endings that feature character growth and development. I'll never try to pull the rug out from a character in a mean spirited way. So even if it's not necessarily a happy ending it'll always be a satisfying one that I hope people can be happy with :)