Why stories have been late (Patreon)

I think all of you deserve an explanation for why I've fallen behind this month, and have been having trouble writing recently. I try not to talk about the non-erotic writing I do much, since I hope to make a career out of that some day and obviously getting linked to writing fetish erotica isn't the best background to have, but last month I was very excited to get an assignment to work on an indie screenplay.

It was for a small nobody group but it was a full length script, 120 pages, and we'd negotiated that I'd be paid $10 per page, for a total of $1,200 when it was done. It was cheap work for a small project, but the chance to work on an actual screenplay and double my income for a month was a dream come true. I put some of the other stories on the backburner to focus on this one since there was a deadline, but it left me with enough time to work on the patreon stories for all of you in the second half of the month. I lost sleep and worked to the bone writing and revising it, but I managed to finish it before going to Entranced, which is why that weekend felt like a well deserved vacation and the chance to relax with friends.

And on the day I was supposed to be paid they told me they didn't have the money.

Apparently their group fell through and wouldn't actually be able to shoot the movie, so they didn't raise any money for it. But they didn't tell me that and just had me keep working on it. And of course we never signed a contract, so I can't enforce it.

Which means I spent a month of work making the $200 they paid me up front. A month where I used my savings to go to the entranced convention and hang out with my hypnosis friends (which honestly was an amazing experience and had me inspired to write until this happened when I got back) all because I thought I had more money coming. Because they didn't pay me I couldn't pay my student loans this month, so now I have to pay double next month, and I'm ending the month out with just about $100 to my name.

I'll be honest, I feel crushed. I've written 30,000 words of erotica this month and almost none of it is useable, because it all just feels lifeless and stale. To try and get the stories done I worked on 8 different projects, starting chapters for series and commissions and one off stuff, and all of them have 1 or 2,000 words that read horribly. I've rewritten my work on the next It Runs in the Family chapter 3 times to try and improve it, but it's still not good enough for all of you. I've been trying my best to have something else for patreon by tomorrow but being screwed over like that honestly feels like it broke me. I've been doing better the last two days, writing stuff that actually reads well, but I think I'd need a miracle to get enough work done tonight and tomorrow to finish the other 19,000 words of stories I need, and I haven't had a full nights sleep in two weeks so I'm low on stamina.

What I do have in reserve are two fanfiction commissions that I've  done, which I was planning to adapt into original stories without references for posting here. The first was based on the Rooster Teeth show RWBY, about a girl who programs her roommate in her sleep to want to do anything she can to please her. The other is based on the video game Life is Strange. The protagonist has the power to reverse time, and the story is about her girlfriend hypnotizing her and using that power to take her deeper. I think they both came out pretty fun, and I was working on making original versions of them, since it's easier for people who aren't familiar with the work it's based on, when I was told I was getting paid, so I haven't been able to finish that, but the two stories are done. I'll post that up tomorrow in case any of you are interested though,  and neither require any knowledge of the game or the show to understand the plot, though you might get confused at a few references and characters.

I also have a bunch of work in progress stuff I've been doing, although as I said they're not the best quality, but if anyone is interested in seeing how my stories start out I'd be happy to share. I'm honestly ashamed that I let myself get taken advantage of like that, and that I allowed the chance for more money and the promise of more work on future movies make me neglect the stories I write for all of you, when you've all shown me such amazing support. I should have made my patreon stuff a priority, and I should have known better than to take the job offer in the first place.

But I didn't write this to give excuses to all of you. I just know that you deserve an explanation, and I should have told you sooner. I tend not to handle stress well and it makes me shut down, which I thought I'd become better at dealing with. You deserved to get the stories I promised, and because of my mistakes I fucked up and fell behind. From now on I'm going to focus my attention on the series that you guys and girls love, and make patreon my main priority. You deserve that.

I'll also need to get a part time job to pay for student loans, but I'm only looking for something that will give me the freedom to make writing the priority. I've never delivered pizzas before, so who knows, maybe I'll find inspiration doing that. All I can say is I'm sorry that I'm ending another month apologizing, and I'm taking steps to improve myself. Honestly I plan on unplugging my tv and staying in every night until I have all of next months work done. I want to focus on nothing but writing the best and hottest erotica that I can. Thats what all of you really deserve for giving me your trust and support.

I'll be putting up some of the works in progress tomorrow, and try to finish off some short stories to the best of my abilities. I'll of course answer any questions and address any criticism that I have coming.