From the Archives: I Heard You Got a Visit From Santa (Patreon)

Josh adjusted the towel hanging low around his trim waist as he stared at the small pile of presents on the counter.  They were the last thing he’d expected to find waiting for him when he’d made it home from the airport last night.  He’d actually forgotten that it was Christmas Eve altogether until he’d pulled up the driveway and discovered the packages in a small pile by his back door.  After a frantic week of traveling for work, the middle-aged executive had dumped them on the counter and promptly passed out for the night.

Living alone, Christmas was just another day as far as Josh was concerned.  There’d be no indulging on cookies or eggnog.  He would let himself sleep in, but after that it would be the same workout routine, the same healthy breakfast, and then back to work.  Josh didn’t hate the holidays, but he worked too hard on keeping his lean, well-muscled frame in shape, a task that became exponentially harder as he inched further into his forties, to blow it over a day he didn’t really care about one way or the other.

He ran a hand over his damp, salt-and-pepper hair, taking the opportunity to admire his ripped abs reflected in the microwave as he eyed the brightly wrapped packages.  “Usually just get a couple cards...hope this doesn’t mean I owe a bunch of people presents because I do not have time for that right now,” he muttered to himself, deciding to start with the smallest of the boxes.  He gave a short laugh when he ripped open the shiny paper and popped the lid.  “What the hell is...is this a joke?”  Josh picked up the bottle of beard oil and the accompanying comb, confused at why someone would have sent it to him.  He’d always kept his sharp, angular cheeks smooth, hating to sport anything more than a slight stubble.  With his lean features he always felt a beard looked out of place, and he’d never so much as mentioned the idea of growing one, which made the present all the more confusing.  He undid the cap to take a sniff, and while he enjoyed the oil’s woody, floral scent, it didn’t change the fact that he had nothing to put it on.  “They must have me confused with someone else,” he muttered, pulling out the small envelope in the bottom of the box.

The card inside was in the shape of a winking Santa’s face, a small cloud of glitter falling onto the marble counter as he turned it over. It was signed from his friend Jake, which made the gift, and the message, all the more confusing.   “I heard you can’t play Santa without a good beard,” the card read.  “It’ll leave you smelling nice and manly for Danny, too.”

Josh shook his head, more convinced than ever that Jake had gotten his gifts mixed up.  “Who the hell is Dann...ny…” his eyes went wide, his voice catching in his throat when he looked up from the card and saw his reflection.  Instead of the smooth, high cheekbones he was used to, Josh now stared at a thick beard that obscured the lower half of his face.  And unlike the short, salt-and-pepper hair on his scalp, the freshly-sprouted growth was almost entirely white.  It wasn’t wild and bushy like the Santa from the card, but expertly groomed, framing in his face with its chisel-like edges.

“What the...how is this...I don’t have a…” Josh stammered as he staggered over to the mirror in the hall.  Even with his crystal clear view, the stunned man refused to believe his eyes.  One second his face had been smooth, and the next he’d suddenly had a perfect, stylishly maintained beard.  He hadn’t felt anything.  There was no itching or odd scratching sensation, just a face that had gone from smooth to impossibly bearded in the blink of an eye.  He frantically scoured the rest of his reflection, noting that the wiry smattering of hair on his defined pecs hadn’t changed as it trailed down his abs, nor had the dark hairs coating his forearms and armpits.  He even popped his towel open to double check his trimmed bush and hairy thighs, finding everything but the silver hair on his face as it should be.  “It can’t be real…” he said, gasping as he finally forced himself to reach up and feel the soft, dense fur.  An odd tingle shot through him at the sensation.  None of the men in his family had ever had a beard either, and as a straight man he didn’t go around rubbing guys’ faces, so Josh didn’t understand why the hair felt so familiar against his palms.

He stumbled absently back to the counter, intending to re-read the note but grabbing another package instead.  He was so stunned by the strange events that he’d tore off the wrapping paper and was looking at the large tub of protein powder before the mistake even registered.

There was no envelope this time, just an ivy-trimmed card taped to the outside of the tub.  It was from his workout buddy, Tom, but the message didn’t make any more sense than Jake’s.  “I heard you’re really trying to keep that bulk up.  Can’t be Santa without a belly, right?”

Josh looked down at the tight, tapering body he worked so hard to keep long and lean.  Especially since reaching middle age, the sculpted hunk made sure his workouts were focused on burning fat as much as they were building muscle, and he watched his diet with a dedication that bordered on fanaticism.  Bulking up, and a belly, were the last things he’d ever want.

Which made the sudden shudder that ran through him all the more horrifying.  Josh grunted and doubled over against the counter, a crushing pressure pulling on him as if gravity had decided to single him out.  His head spun as he struggled for breath and his skin broke out in goosebumps, the feeling of his beard suddenly scratching against his pecs feeling entirely wrong.

With a monumental effort Josh forced himself upright, letting out a low moan of terror at what he saw.  The chiseled, toned body he’d just been looking at was gone, replaced by a thick, beefy frame complete with bulging muscle gut.  Unlike when his beard manifested, Josh managed to catch the last of the impossible transformation, actually watching his flat stomach press outwards beneath a new slab of a chest that had piled on years’ worth of muscle.  Instead of long and sinewy, the arms hanging off his broad shoulders were round, meaty logs, a perfect complement to the tree trunk thighs holding his expanded frame upright.  He’d lost his towel in the growth, but instead of an unobstructed view of his dangling hose, Josh could just barely see the tip of a fattened cock poking out from beneath his protruding, solid stomach.

“Oh god…” he groaned in a deepened voice, his stomach dropping at the way his inflated rear shook and his ample new flesh rubbed against itself when he turned back to the mirror in the hall.  Josh wanted to scream.  The burly, beefy stranger couldn’t possibly be him.  He told himself those rounded features staring back at him from beneath the bearded face may have been similar, but they weren’t really his.  Neither were the bowling ball shoulders and heavy shelf of a chest, nor the muscled logs that formed the man’s arms.  The fat, stout cock and heavy balls were nothing like his own as they fought for space between the hulking thighs, and his ass was small and perky, not huge and round like the globes filling his wide, stubby hands.  But worst was the stomach.  Josh shuddered, a confusing throb racing to his expanded cock as he let go of his plump cheeks and ran his hands over the solid, cresting mound.

“I have to get help...I have to call some...one…” Josh froze at the unexpected sound of feet descending the stairs, mortified at the thought of someone seeing him like this.  He was so caught up in his embarrassment that the person was turning the corner before it occurred to him that the real reason he should be concerned was the fact that there hadn’t been anyone else in the house when he’d woken up that morning.

“Hey!  Are you opening the presents without me?!”

Josh’s heart was a jackhammer in his inflated chest, the confusing throb pulsing even harder through his exposed cock at the sight of the young man in the doorway.  As his shell-shocked brain struggled to put the pieces together, the now-brawny man suddenly knew who “Danny” was, though Josh was more familiar with him as Daniel.  He was a recent college grad who’d interned with his company before being hired on, none of which explained why he was standing in nothing but a pair of Star Wars pajama pants in Josh’s kitchen.  The older man immediately noticed how the thin fabric did nothing to hide the impressive cock bouncing underneath, and how the low-riding waist accentuated Danny’s trim hips and athletic torso.  Josh had never paid much attention at the office, but now his stomach fluttered as he looked at Danny’s shaggy mop of brunette hair still messy from sleep, and the stern expression on the younger man’s groggy, boy-next-door face.

“Are you at least going to say ‘Merry Christmas’?”  When Danny’s hand landed on his plump, bare cheeks, Josh’s head turned of its own accord, bending down to press his bearded lips against the younger man’s.  The altered executive didn’t know why he was making out with a man barely half his age anymore than he knew why any of the strange events were happening, but that didn’t stop him from pulling Danny into his bearish new embrace.  Josh’s cock surged to life, a flood of strange new memories filling his head as his hands slipped into the back of Danny’s pajamas to grip the muscled bubble underneath.

“Merry Christmas,” Josh rumbled, breaking off the kiss but not letting go.  The feeling of the ripped jock in his arms filled him with a protective contentment, pushing aside his own fear and dread as he focused on taking care of the handsome young stud.

“I’m still mad at you for opening presents without me,” Danny pouted, toying with Josh’s beefy chest.

There was still a part of the older man that was desperately trying to make sense of what was happening, that rejected the impossible new memories of him and Danny.  He kept screaming at himself that Danny was just an entry level accountant, not his personal assistant, and that he certainly shouldn’t be fucking the twenty-two year old on a regular basis, let alone be in love with him.  But even as he struggled, the old Josh knew it was a losing battle.  Danny wasn’t just some employee; he was everything.  The way the handsome stud could go from professional and put together in the office to a charming, goofy nerd at home made Josh’s knees weak.  He loved the other man’s infectious, youthful energy just as much as the skillful cock digging into this thigh.

“Want me to make it up to you,” Josh grinned, reaching down to squeeze the rigid cock tenting out Danny’s thin bottoms.  The thickened man didn’t wait for a reply.  He dropped to his knees and tugged the pants down, pushing Danny back against the counter and swallowing the younger man’s girthy rod in one fluid motion.  Josh didn’t stop to think about how natural the motion felt as he bobbed his head, or how much he enjoyed the sound of Danny’s quiet groans as his beard tickled the insides of the other man’s toned thighs.  All that mattered at the moment was the comfortingly familiar, musky taste of the young man against his tongue.  The longer he bobbed his head and worked his tongue along the aching shaft, the more Josh remembered the many hours he’d spent in just such a position.  A part of him still knew that wasn’t, or shouldn’t be, possible; he just didn’t care.  The feeling of Danny’s solid little bubble in his hands and the sound of the handsome young stud’s lustful groans made any amount of extra bulk and facial hair seem worth it.

“Oooookay,” Danny laughed, guiding Josh’s head away.  “That was the stocking stuffer...let’s get to the real present.”

Josh’s bulky new body was on autopilot as he spun around on all fours, barely having enough time to take a deep breath before it was forced out of him by Danny’s invading pole.  The older man’s eyes went wide, his jaw falling open in the expectation of a pain that never came.  As the impressive organ slipped into his inflated rear, all Josh felt was an explosion of pleasure that made each of his newly acquired muscles tense.  He arched his back, his fat cock slapping wildly up against his expanded gut as he rocked in time with Danny’s deep, skillful thrusts.  Josh was well aware that he was being fucked on his kitchen floor by a former intern half his age, but instead of disbelief over the fact that it was even happening, the bearded bull just couldn’t believe how good it felt.

“Ffffuuuuccckkkkk…oh fuck...this is...fuuuuuuck….” Josh roared, kneeling upright when Danny’s hands slipped around and began toying with his plump pecs.  He swallowed the younger man’s hands in his own, guiding them along his solid new belly as his oozing cock bobbed uselessly.  He turned his head for another kiss just as he came, letting out a wordless grunt while his fat member exploded all over the floor.  When he’d first seen it at its new size he’d been worried about whether or not it was too wide to be practical.  Now he realized it didn’t matter.

Danny didn’t say anything as he finished.  The virile young man buried his head against Josh’s broad shoulder and gave a final series of thrusts, his fingers biting into the older man’s firm gut while his cock erupted.

“And we’re not even under any mistletoe,” Danny finally laughed as he pulled out and the pair collapsed in a heap against the counter.  He nestled under one of Josh’s burly arms, resting his head against the other man’s chest.

“We’ll find some later so we have an excuse to do this again,” Josh said, bending down and kissing the top of his young lover’s head as he reached up with his free hand and felt blindly for the last remaining package.  “There was one more addressed to both of us.”

“Presents!”  Danny pulled out of Josh’s grip and tore into the box, a mischievous grin spreading across his face when he opened it.  “It’s from your sister,” he said, reading the card inside.  “I heard you and Danny don’t have your Christmas pajamas.  You can’t hand out all the gifts under the tree without a Santa outfit, and we all know how much Danny loves his comics.”

Josh was too focused on the sudden appearance of the massive, ornately decorated Christmas tree in the other room to notice Danny pulling the small wads of fabric out of the box.  He hadn’t had a tree in years, but now one stood nearly to the ceiling, covered in twinkling bulbs and ornaments with a large pile of wrapped packages underneath.  “Where did that…” he started to ask before looking up at Danny’s freshly wrapped package bulging inches from his face.

“These are awesome,” the young man beamed, snapping the elastic of his new Batman briefs and turning to inspect himself.  The dark grey fabric accentuated his tight bubble, especially with the Bat-symbol stretched tight across the perky, muscled globes, while the matching, skin-tight t-shirt showed off each of the young hunk’s chiseled muscles.   “And there’s some in here for you too, Santa,” he grinned, reaching down to place the Santa hat on Josh’s head as he pulled the older man to his feet.

“Those are...festive,” Josh blushed as Danny thrust a pair of red briefs with white fur trim into his hands.  He still felt a reflexive embarrassment as he slid them on and realized he couldn’t see the stuffed pouch over his protruding new stomach, but he didn’t even get a chance to finish the thought before it fled under the onslaught of Danny’s bright blue eyes.  “Uh...ho, ho, ho, I guess,” he said with a bashful laugh.

He stumbled along, still not used to his plodding new gait as the younger man grabbed his hand and dragged him towards the towering tree in the other room.  “Come on!” Danny said impatiently.  “I can’t wait for you to open your presents.  I heard you’re really going to love them this year.”