Blind Box: Told You So (Patreon)

“I’m not THAT drunk, dude,” Chad insisted, gesturing at the bare brick wall.  “It was right here!”

Tom put a hand on his friend’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze.  “Then where is it now,” he asked, raising an eyebrow as he looked from side-to-side.  Other than the typical mirrors, neon signs, and random ephemera peppering bar walls the world over, the space was entirely unremarkable.  “Doors don’t just disappear, man.”

“That’s.  The.  Point,” Chad barked, shrugging out of the dark-haired man’s grip.  “I mean…what the fuck?  How did it just vanish?  Isn’t this, like, the outside wall, too?  How could there even be a room here?”

Tom looked back over his shoulder to see if anyone was paying attention to his friend’s outburst.  The once-bustling bar was now only sparsely populated given the late, or extremely early, weekday hour, but no one seemed to notice the tall, sandy-haired man yelling and pointing at the wall.  “And that’s my point,” Tom said, not at all trying to keep the condescension from his tone.  “There couldn’t be.  You just got turned around.”

“Turned around?  In here?  This place is a shoebox!  I didn’t get fucking lost,” Chad said, swaying on his feet when he spun around to gesture at the compact pub.  He actually was very drunk, they both were, but not to the point where he’d hallucinated a phantom hallway.  “Okay… so, yeah, I did get a little mixed up and thought it was the bathroom.  Still doesn’t explain where it went.”

The dark-haired man sighed and folded his arms across his chest, shaking his head.  “Dude…what happened to us,” he laughed.  “Back in the day we would’ve been balls-deep already, but instead we struck out and argued about a door all night?  Is this our life now?”  He looked down at the solid, though unremarkable arms, crossing his torso, using his hands to try and make the faded biceps reclaim their glory days.  At only twenty-seven the pair was far from old, though their once-ripped frames had gone from “athletic Adonis” to “barely above average.”  Formerly prominent abs were still faintly visible if they flexed hard enough, and the remaining muscle covering their tall frames still passed for impressive as it strained against their tight t-shirts and khaki shorts.  Especially in the bar’s dim lighting, they could just sneak by as a matched set of young, strapping studs.  Even with the gradual weathering of their youthful faces, with the etched lines that had begun to settle around their eyes and mouths, and with the ever-so-slightly receding hairlines, they pulled it off.  With his darker features, dense dusting of hair, and constant stubble, Tom had always looked older than he was, while Chad simply appeared to be transitioning from the blonde Boy Next Door to the Hunky Older Neighbor.

“No, no,” Chad said, throwing an arm around the other man’s shoulders and patting Tom’s chest.  “YOU argued about a door all night ‘cause you’re a dick who doesn’t believe his friends.  It was right here,” he insisted again, turning Tom back towards the wall.  “Look!  I even took a picture.”

The raven-haired man rolled his eyes as Chad pulled out his phone and brought up a blurry photo.  To his friend’s credit, the brick wall on either side of the open door did appear to match the one in front of them, but the incongruent hallway was entirely out of place, even if it had still been present.  Instead of looking like a back room or storage space at a bar, the short passage looked more appropriate for an office building.  A generic drop ceiling with a few missing tiles held equally generic fluorescent bulbs above a tan-carpeted floor, while the walls on either side consisted of unfinished drywall.  It was as if a chunk of an office under construction had suddenly been tacked onto the bar, and if that wasn’t odd enough, the squat little vending machine at the far end only added to the mystery.  “How come no one else saw it, then?  Don’t you think other people would be freaking out?  Why did you even go in?”

“I don’t know,” Chad shrugged.  “I was on autopilot!  I thought it was the bathroom.  I didn’t notice how fucking weird it was until I was right on top of that vending machine.  Dude…it was so quiet.  Like, so quiet.  I couldn’t hear the bar at all, even though the door was open.”

Tom nodded, more to mock than agree.  “And you bought toys from the weird machine instead of leaving because…?”

“Don’t judge until you’ve been in a creepy, disappearing hallway, bro,” Chad grunted defensively.  He held up the two holo-foil packets, a confused expression on his face.  “It made sense at the time?  But when I came back out here and turned around it was just…gone.”

“Sure it was, bud,” Tom said, pulling out of the other man’s grip.  “Maybe we should just…”

“Then where the fuck did I get these?!” Chad interrupted, waving the packets.

“Maybe you found ‘em on the bathroom floor?  Maybe you got ‘em somewhere else?  How the fuck should I know?”  Tom sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.  “Look, I’m not saying that you don’t THINK you found a weird hallway, okay?  But I’m looking at the fucking wall and I don’t see a door, so what do you want me to say right now?”

“I…I just…” Chad sputtered, finally at a loss for words.  “I’m crashing at your place,” he said, grudgingly changing the subject.

“Dude, obviously,” Tom laughed.  “Let’s just call it.  It’s late, we’re wasted…the only door I want to see right now is the one to my bedroom.”

Chad gave one last look at the wall before following his friend to the bar.  They paid their tab and headed out into the early morning darkness, the argument seemingly forgotten as they chatted the blocks away to Tom’s apartment.  They’d known each other long enough that the silent lapses were comfortable, not awkward, just like the routine when they finally made it back to the dark-haired man’s home.  Chad shucked his shoes and kicked out of his shorts, lingering in his boxers while Tom stripped out of his t-shirt and went rummaging for the spare sheets to put on the couch.

“Should we at least open them,” Chad asked when his friend returned, nodding to the silver sleeves sticking out of his discarded shorts.

Tom dropped the bundled sheets and pillow on the couch, shrugging.  “I mean, is it going to turn into a whole thing again,” he yawned, popping the fly of his shorts.  He absently scratched at the trail of dark hair that disappeared into the exposed patch of purple boxer briefs, his expression hesitant.  “What even are they?”

Chad tossed one of the packets to his friend, grinning at the bright “Party Boyz” logo.  “I think they’re just, like, little figures.  They make ‘em for just about everything anymore.  Never seen ones like this, though,” he said, looking at the array of scantily clad, oddly proportioned men on the back.

“Really?  Figured you’d be their target audience,” Tom laughed.

“That your way of saying you’re interested,” the sandy-haired man asked, reaching down to squeeze his thick hose as it pushed against the front of his boxers.  They were both well endowed, but Chad’s thick seven inches had his friend beat both in terms of length and width.  “Night doesn’t have to be a total loss, baby,” he cooed, pursing his lips as he lifted the base of his t-shirt with his free hand.

“I’m drunk, not desperate,” Tom said, turning his attention from his groping friend to the plastic sleeve.  “You said they came from a…”

“It was like one of those old cigarette vending machines.  You put your money in and pulled the knob,” he paused to chuckle at the phrase as he gave himself a tug through his boxers, “and then it spit one out.  I don’t know…maybe they’re trying to bring in the gay crowd?  Doesn’t really seem like the sorta thing the regulars would go for.”

Tom nodded as he looked at the six little beefcakes on the back.  “And you got one for me too because…?”

“I’m a good person who thinks of other people,” Chad said, puffing out his chest.  “If you don’t want it…” he reached out to take the packet, but Tom pulled it away.

“No, no, I appreciate it…I was just curious,” the dark-haired man said, smirking.  “I just wondered if, you know, all this crazy shit about a door, and then these little gay dudes…maybe you were trying to tell me something is all.”

Chad sighed, shoulders slumping as he stepped forward, his eyes glued to the floor.  “I mean…I don’t know, man.  I just…I don’t want to make things weird,” he stammered, his hands reaching out to Tom’s waist.  “We’ve known each other for a long time, right?  We’ve done everything together…ALMOST everything, anyway,” Chad said, his hands sliding down and pushing Tom’s shorts free.  He slowly raised his eyes to meet his friend’s, his fingers toying with the elastic waist of the other man’s boxer-briefs as the dark-haired hunk’s furry chest started to rise and fall with increasing speed.  “I didn’t know how to say it, but…but I…” Chad broke off in a snorting laugh, giving Tom’s ass a rough slap before shoving his friend away.  “Dude!  What the fuck, man?!  No, this was not me coming out,” he said, nodding to his friend’s twitching, exposed bulge.  “Is there something you and your halfer need to tell ME?”

“Yeah, you’re a dick,” Tom said, his olive skin going crimson.  “Here I am trying to be understanding, while you just…”

Chad cut his friend off with a quick peck on the nose.  “I’m not saying I’m not into it, bro.  I’m open to new things.  If you want to jerk each other off I won’t tell anyone.”

Tom pulled his flushed face away.  “Can we please just open this shit and go to bed?”

Chad beamed, his friend’s discomfort acting as retribution for their argument at the bar.  “I wonder who we got?  Hope it’s that dude with the fat ass,” he grinned, tearing the top of the sleeve open.  The simultaneous ripping sounds seemed louder than they should, and the small figures heavier, as they tumbled into the waiting palms.  “Oh!  Weird…I got the dude with the…”

The sandy-haired man broke off in a gasp, a sudden, vice-like pressure clamping down over his entire frame and locking him in place as his world turned upside down.  Chad tried to yelp, but barely managed a squeak when his t-shirt vanished, revealing the broadening shoulders and inflating chest underneath.  Somehow, the young man’s body was ballooning with muscle, the arms on either side rapidly reaching piston proportions while the barely-present abs turned into a lumpy muscle gut.  Below the waist, Chad’s athletic legs had turned into meaty, sturdy trunks, supporting an equally ample rear, but the stunned blonde was more concerned about the sudden change to his underwear.  The burgundy boxers didn’t vanish like his t-shirt, they shrank, pulling up his widened legs until they settled as a pair of skimpy, horrifying panties.  It wasn’t the slinky underwear’s feminine appearance that terrified Chad, but the fact of how well they fit, his formerly girthy equipment having dwindled to a petite package that nestled comfortably inside.  Instead of long and thick, his cock was a short little nub, and instead of heavy and churning, his balls had been reduced to tiny, matching lumps.  Even in his shocked state it occurred to the altered blonde that he should try and warn his friend, but as soon as he raised his eyes he saw that it was too late.

While he’d grown larger, Tom had grown smaller.  Instead of standing the same, six-ish foot height, the dark-haired man now topped out at considerably less, his new lack of height making his suddenly refined physique all the more prominent.  Like Chad, the shortened stud had put on an impossible amount of muscle, but unlike the now-taller man’s burly bulk, Tom’s altered frame had been honed.  Furry pecs now sat as heaping, sculpted piles between striated, stubby arms, which, when combined with the smaller man’s wide upper back, only served to accentuate how tight and tapering his shredded washboard had become.  As with his friend, Tom’s thighs had widened into well-muscled pillars, while his ass now jutted out as a matched set of granite, gravity defying globes, filling the straining singlet he’d acquired to capacity.  The stretchy garment had replaced the purple boxer briefs, though it was hard to tell at first as it sat half-discarded at the hirsute hunk’s waist, with a rigid, aching cock jutting up and out through the top.  Tom’s solid girder didn’t appear to have changed size, nor had the hefty balls outlined against the skin-tight fabric, but the six-and-a-half inches looked larger than ever against his reduced, defined frame.

“WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?!” Chad roared, his deepened voice taking him by surprise.  Once again able to move, he frantically pawed at his diminished endowment, wincing at the hard little nub’s petite size.  “WHERE’D MY DICK GO?!”

Tom held out his sculpted arms, his eyes wide as he now looked up at his friend.  “Your dick?!  Bro…look at me!  I’m fucking tiny,” he yelped, equally caught off guard by the slightly higher, squeaky register that crept in at the edges of his voice.  “How did we…how is this even…what the hell is going on…” he sputtered, turning in a circle.  The diminutive, dark-haired stud’s stomach dropped as he looked around from his new perspective, his hopes that maybe Chad had just grown exceptionally large fading when he realized how big the furniture and the rest of his surroundings also appeared.

“It…it had to be those fucking toys,” Chad barked, his tiny cock throbbing as he watched Tom’s chiseled new frame turn in a slow circle.  His friend may have lost a significant amount of height, but it was as if the other man had been distilled, leaving only a gorgeous, smoldering little stud.  It occurred to him even then that such thoughts were odd and out of place, but Chad was too focused on investigating the holofoil sleeve to pay them much attention.  He lifted the discarded packaging and looked inside, fishing out the small card bearing a cartoon image of his new burly, panty-clad likeness.  “Oh…oh no…” he groaned, his eyes going wide as he read.  “Meet Panty Pete!  This un-hung hunk loves to be humiliated.  Big and small in all the right places, his hard shell hides a creamy center just begging for attention.”  Chad swallowed hard and shook his head, his knees going weak when he finally caught sight of his full reflection.  Where Tom had become a honed, handsome hunk, he’d become a burly brute.  Even his boyish face had filled out, his flattened, widened features accentuated by his short new buzz cut.  Where his friend now had the sculpted body of a gymnast and looked like a miniature model, he looked like a bricklayer or construction worker, his beefy physique making his bright panties and tiny cock seem all the more out of place.  “But…but I don’t…I don’t want you to make fun of my tiny little clit dick,” he whimpered, his jaw dropping when he realized what he’d said.  “I…I mean…my little dicklet isn’t…” he stopped talking, an unfamiliar ache throbbing through him at the way he spoke.

Tom was too busy inspecting his own card to notice the bigger man’s growing, arousing, embarrassment.  “Meet Tiny Tim,” he read, his face going crimson at the sound of his altered voice.  “Mini and mighty, don’t let this fun-sized stud fool you.  A titanic top in a compact package, he’s got more than enough body to go around, and to throw around.”  Like Chad, Tom’s head spun when he looked up from the card, his stomach fluttering at the sudden urge to be swallowed in the other man’s hulking arms.  “What…what is this…” he said, his heightened voice barely above a whisper.

“I don’t know,” Chad sputtered, his slab of a chest heaving as he stared down at his friend.  There was a moment of silence as they gawked back and forth between themselves and each other, both trying to cling to as much of their previous existence as they could.  “What…do we do now,” the bigger man finally said, barely biting back the humiliating, desperate begging just waiting to escape.

“How…how fucking short am I,” Tom asked.  “Why don’t we start there?”  He took a step and gasped at the way the tight singlet rubbed against his aching member, blushing a deeper shade when he finally registered his exposed, leaking cock.  “What the hell am I even wearing,” he hissed, squirming out of the tight little garment.  He kicked it aside and stumbled over to a nearby drawer, amazed at how much larger his rigid cock felt wagging in front of him.  He was also amazed by how high the drawer seemed as he pulled it open and fished the tape measure free.  “Dude…stare any harder and that little dick of yours is going to shoot off,” he said when he turned around and saw Chad’s hungry eyes glued to his naked frame.

“Sorry,” the bigger man stammered, completely oblivious to the way he’d been fixated on Tom’s plump, perfect little bubble.  “You’re just…so fucking hot I can’t take it,” Chad groaned before he could stop himself.

Despite his confused anxiety, Tom beamed at the compliment.  The sheer terror he’d felt just moments before had impossibly started to thaw already, leaving room for other emotions, like his growing lust, to trickle in.  “Yeah…real beauty and the beast dynamic we’ve got here,” he grinned, drawing himself upright as Chad extended the tape.

The beefy man quivered at being called a beast by the handsome little hunk, a sensation that only grew stronger when he saw where the other man topped out.  “4’4”,” he said, trying to keep his tone gentle.  Just moments before the dark-haired man had been 6’1”, meaning he’d lost nearly two feet in height.

Instead of the panic he knew he should have felt, Tom let out a short laugh.  “No wonder my voice sounds weird.  Fuck,” he sighed, shaking his head as he looked down at himself.  He had a mischievous grin on his face when he looked back up, his hands shooting out to pull Chad’s panties down.  “Might as well measure you, too,” he chuckled, taking the tape and holding it against his friend’s reduced endowment.  “Juuuuuust under two inches.  Look at you, big guy!  What a cute little friend,” he cooed, giving Chad’s tiny balls a squeeze.

The bigger man groaned, immediately losing the tenuous hold he’d had on his former self.  “Oh fuck…it’s so small…it’s so small,” he stammered, grinding the diminutive organ into Tom’s comparatively massive hand.  “Yours is…so big,” he grunted, licking his lips.

“If you’re a good boy maybe I’ll let you play with it,” Tom shrugged, taking a step back.  “Let me see you play with yours first.”

Without the slightest hesitation, Chad reached down and began tweaking his shrunken cock between a pair of fingers.  He knew he should have been mortified, but all he felt was an all-consuming desire as his free hand reached around behind and began toying with his eager hole.  “You’re so fucking hot,” he whimpered, working his fingers.  “So fucking hung…fuck…thing looks like a club compared to me,” Chad whined.  “Can’t wait…to…have it…inside me…”

“Oh, so you want me to fuck you,” Tom asked, giving his cock a coy heft.

A part of him still knew that he shouldn’t be begging his friend to fuck him, but the cause of Chad’s strange desire wasn’t nearly as important as the need to fulfill it.  “Yes!  Please!” he begged, dropping to his knees and latching onto his friend’s solid globes.  He swallowed Tom’s log as if he’d done it countless times before, the combined sound and sensation of his own gagging fueling the overwhelming lust.  It helped that the shorter man had latched onto his head and was roughly pumping his hips to jam the throbbing girder in deep, but instead of being humiliating, the knowledge that he was being face fucked drove Chad wild.  A part of him wanted nothing more than for his friend to pull out and blast all over his face, only that would mean taking a break before he got what he really wanted.

“Okay…enough warm up,” Tom finally grunted, giving Chad’s face a rough swat with his spit-slick cock.  “You’ve been a good little boy…let’s take this to the bedroom.”  The bigger man scooped Tom up in his arms as he stood, surprising both of them by how easy it was.  There was a moment of silence as they locked eyes, and then Tom yelped when he was roughly flung over Chad’s broad shoulder.  Far from the horror a part of him wanted to feel, the shrunken stud grinned from ear-to-ear at the sensation, as well as the knowledge that, going forward, just about any man would be able to do the same.  While he may not have wanted to debase himself the way his friend now did, Tom still reveled in the size difference, and the knowledge that, when it came down to it, he’d still be the one on top.  He grunted when Chad roughly deposited him on the bed, letting the bigger man loom above him for a kiss before shoving him over onto the mattress. “Alright…flip over and let me see that creamy center,” he ordered.

The burly blonde immediately did as he was told, rolling onto his stomach and lifting his meaty rear into the air.  “Fuuuuck….yesss…yes…thank you…thank you…” he whimpered as Tom’s stubby fingers found their way into his exposed hole.

The shorter man fingered his friend in silence for a few moments, loving the sound of Chad’s desperate moans.  “Someone likes having their pussy worked, don’t they,” he purred.  “Kinda feels appropriate, right?  Since you wear the panties and all,” he chuckled, reaching over to tweak Chad’s little nub.  “And this isn’t much of a dick, really,” he sighed, a part of him feeling like he was being cruel, but a bigger part knowing that it was exactly what his friend wanted to hear.

“Lo…love it when you…finger my…pussy…” the beefy bruiser whimpered into the mattress, his whole body on fire with ecstasy.  The feeling of Tom’s fingers, along with his friend’s condescension, turned him on like nothing he’d ever felt before.

“Glad to hear it,” the smaller man grunted.  He pulled his hand free and shifted over, slipping into Chad’s gaping hole as he draped himself against the brawny blonde.

There were no more words after that, condescending or otherwise.  Despite his reduced stature, Tom still rolled his hips with surgical precision, slowing down and speeding up based on Chad’s desperate howls.  He hammered like a piston and rocked like a wave, his technique having been enhanced to match the description of the caricature he’d become.  Tom had always been good in bed, but now he was a pro, able to read Chad’s bigger body like a book.  The fact that he was bringing such unfiltered bliss to someone so much larger than himself only added to his smug sense of accomplishment, and it was already abundantly clear to the tiny top that, regardless of the impossible cause, this was something he’d be doing with as many men as possible going forward.  Given his ecstatic bellowing and wide-eyed ecstasy, it seemed as if Chad had reached the same conclusion.

At his friend’s begging, Tom pulled out just before he came, holding back long enough for the burly man to roll over and take the sticky shotgun blast all over his chest and face.  For Chad’s part, his meager spurting fell short of Tom’s broad, tapering back, creating a sticky little puddle on his muscled gut instead.

Momentarily spent, they collapsed in each other’s arms on the bed, with the smaller man nestled against the blonde’s broad chest, his wiry dusting slick and matted by the remnants of his own release.  “Wow,” was all Tom finally managed, a slight crimson sheen creeping back up his razor cheeks at the sound of his voice.  Now that they’d released some of the pressure, there was space for his old self to make a minor resurgence.

Chad underwent a similar experience, his whole body turning pink when he thought about what he’d just done and said.  “What…what are we going to do,” he asked, looking back and forth between the thick log flopping over Tom’s thigh and his own little acorn.  Normally confident and self assured, the bigger man felt a growing desire to be told what to do, and what to think and feel.

“Fuck if I know,” Tom shrugged.  “I don’t even have any clothes that fit anymore.  I mean, fuck…I don’t even think I can reach the pedals to drive right now.  How do we explain any of this?  You can at least hide most of what happened to you.”

Chad was hesitant.  “Yeah…I guess you’re right.  I got big, but I can hide…that…” he said, nodding down at the proud little nub.

“But you’re not going to, are you,” Tom added, as if he could read Chad’s mind.  “No…you’re going to be flaunting that little guy as much as possible, aren’t you?  Actually, let me rephrase that so it’s not a question.  You WILL flaunt that cute little mushroom.  You’re going to wear the tiniest little shorts, the tightest pants, and the brightest little panties.  If everyone’s going to know how small I am, they’re going to know how small you are, too.”  Chad blushed a deeper shade even as he nodded excitedly, his little cock twitching at the thought of his impending embarrassment.  “Good,” Tom grunted, giving his friend’s plump pec a rough squeeze.  There was another moment of silence as they both mulled over their drastically altered futures, and how they would even begin to explain to other people what happened.  They both knew it should have been dreadful and overwhelming, but already it seemed impossibly normal.  Lucky, even.  As the “Party Boyz” name suggested, neither Tom nor Chad had much room left for things that didn’t feel good.  “Huh,” the smaller man finally grunted, breaking the silence.  “Just occurred to me…guess I owe you an apology.  Looks like you were right about that door after all.”

“Told…told you so,” Chad sighed as Tom slid down to swallow his shrunken package whole.