Not What You Asked For (vignette) (Patreon)

*** Dusted off some characters from this one. ***

“This is such bullshit,” Todd spat, balling his imposing fists as he glared down at his plump, juicy shelf.  The oversized pecs were unnaturally large, thick, solid and round, with nubby, lightning rod nipples simmering in the open air.  The granite mounds were also cumbersome and unwieldy, not only limiting his range of motion but also obscuring the flustered hunk’s view of anything below.  “Please tell me it’s gotten at least a little bigger.  Lie to me.  I don’t fuckin’ care at this point.”

“Sorry dude,” Brendan said, his tone sympathetic as he held the ruler in place.  “Still 2.75 exactly.”

“Goddamnit!” Todd roared, stomping a foot in frustration.  The impact sent a ripple up his meaty thigh and through his pillowy, watermelon cheeks before fizzling out at his heaping chest.  The curvy Adonis winced at the sensation but he’d long since ceased to blush, at least when it was just the two of them.  “How can those fuckers just leave us like this?!”

“At least we got our voices back,” Brendan shrugged.  “That’s something, right?”

“I don’t give a fuck about my voice!  I want my shit back,” Todd grumbled, reaching down and easily swallowing his petite little package.  The once-girthy equipment used to spill out of his hand, the formerly heavy balls and 7-inch hose looking large and impressive even against his brawny build.  As a lifelong bodybuilder who stood a few inches above six feet, Todd was used to turning heads when he walked into a room.  He had sharp, brooding features, thick, auburn hair, and a smooth, deep voice that hit like a punch when he wanted it to.  Before the incident he was used to hooking up with a different woman every night, accumulating an impressive resume in his twenty six years, and while he still currently received plenty of attention, it wasn’t in the way he wanted.

“That’s not what the giggly girly boy said a few days ago,” Brendan reminded his friend.  “I seem to recall you prioritizing the way you talked when all you could do was coo and pout and whimper.”

“Don’t remind me,” Todd sighed, the blushing he’d been able to hold back finally overtaking his defenses.  His curvy muscle went crimson as he thought back to the way he’d sounded over the past few weeks, his deep rumble having been warped into a soft, sultry whisper.  And it hadn’t just been his tone that warped, but the way he spoke, his straight-bro vernacular becoming a horny, flirtatious caricature just like his body.  Every time he opened his mouth a proposition fell out, or a giggle, or a seductive purr, and, when he actually did get off, the normally-stoic stud found himself wailing and screaming like an ecstatic banshee.

“Awww, I don’t know…I thought it was fun,” Brendan grinned, reaching out to grip his friend’s shrunken equipment.

“Oh!” The curvy hulk gasped, his puffed lips pursing as he instinctively ground his tiny cock into the other man’s hand.  Like his warped body, his handsome features had undergone a similar restructuring, with his lips swelling into succulent, vacuum sealing proportions, while his nose softened and his eyes sparkled.  “Fuck, man,” he grunted, catching the creeping lift in his voice before it could get out of hand.  “Your freaky ass WOULD find this amusing.  Lot easier for you to say…”

“Excuse me?”  Brendan let go and stepped back, spreading his sculpted arms wide.  From the waist up, the athletic blonde looked as trim and tapering as ever.  His shoulders were broad, his pecs proportionally prominent, and his abs impressively defined.  The charming, boy-next-door features that had never failed to disarm a potential partner bore the same taint as the taller man, but he was still plenty handsome even with his current set of perpetually pursed lips, razor cheekbones, and smoldering eyes.  It was at his waist where things took a turn, when his once-trim hips exploded outwards to support the colossal cakes that had replaced his formerly perky bubble.  The oversized mounds were as large as Todd’s, if not larger, looking even more out of place against the blonde’s otherwise lean frame than the auburn-haired hunks did against his muscled curves.  And further adding to the discrepancy was the massive, pendulum-like package that swayed between Brendan’s thickened thighs, his former six inches having doubled in length and width, with his balls swelling to match.  “This is easier?”  He gave a slight pop of his hips to emphasize his point, sending cascading ripples through his jiggling cheeks while his fat cock slapped wildly, instantly stiffening with the motion.  “Can’t exactly hide this,” he spat, nodding down to the rigid, spring-loaded log.

“Dude, we can’t hide ANY of it,” Todd said, his mouth reflexively watering at the sight of the blonde’s rigid beast.  All he wanted to do was drop to his knees and swallow as much of it as he could, and he would, but he was determined to exercise as much control as possible until then.  He let out a slow breath and shook his head, his shoulders slumping.  “Seductra’s spell was fuckin’ thorough…I’ll give her that.”

“Is it even worth trying at this point,” Brendan asked, mirroring Todd’s disappointed posture.

“Do you still have anything that hasn’t been changed?  I think I’m down to a couple t-shirts,” the bigger man said.

“Same, but at this point…fuck it, right?  Might as well give it a shot,” Brendan nodded, his fattened cheeks clapping as he waddled into his bedroom.  He swung by his roommate’s on the way back, tossing the top-heavy hunk a loose muscle shirt when he returned.  He’d grabbed a fitted t-shirt of his own, his last one in its original state, and Brendan hesitated as he held it out in front of him.  “It’s my last one,” he finally said.

“I can just do mine if you want,” Todd offered.  “That way if it still goes all slutty you won’t have to waste it.  Maybe it’s better to save it for a few days, you know?  I’ve still got some more…I don’t mind being the guinea pig.”

Brendan swallowed hard.  “Thanks.  I know it’s dumb to feel this way over a stupid t-shirt.  I just…”

“It’s not a stupid t-shirt, bro,” Todd said, putting a hand on the blonde’s shoulder.  “It’s the last bit of…before.  I get it, man.”  He gave Brendan’s shoulder an encouraging squeeze before tousling his friend’s hair and taking a step back.  “Here we go,” he said, holding his breath as he raised his arms and slipped the muscle shirt on.  The top was never going to fit given his new proportions, but that wasn’t the point.  The point was to see if it remained a drab muscle shirt, a question that was answered when the heather fabric suddenly turned a bright, neon green and began wrapping itself around Todd’s hourglass bulk.  In a matter of moments the basic cotton garment had shredded and stretched into a series of elastic straps that criss crossed the bigger man’s broad body, accentuating his ballooning pecs and heaping rear in equal measure, with a small little pouch doing the same for Todd’s tiny cock.  It was as if a thong had been turned into a bodysuit, leaving the brawny man blushing and squirming in the unfamiliar garment.  “Guess that answers that,” Todd stammered, tugging at one of the straps that stretched over his shoulder.  “How the fuck do you even put something like this on?”  Despite his embarrassment, he was glad to see Brendan smiling again as the blonde eyed him with obvious hunger.

“That is certainly a look,” Brendan whistled, nodding.  He could sympathize with Todd’s plight as he’d gone through it himself several times, helpless to do anything other than watch as his regular, run-of-the-mill clothes became a slinky, seductive wardrobe as soon as he tried to put them on.  Shorts, jeans, t-shirts, polos, and boxers had become briefs, bikinis, thongs, jocks, crop-tops, and lingerie, all of it bright, kinky and revealing.  At first they’d thought it was just the clothes they’d been wearing at the club that changed, but they’d quickly learned otherwise, blowing through most of their clothing in a frenzied panic that first night.  Fortunately, Seductra’s spell had twisted the world so that they could at least get away with wearing the intimate apparel in public, though not entirely without consequence. “You going to try it out on stage later?”

“Do I have a choice,” Todd sighed, even as he went through a series of gyrating poses.

“At least the money’s good,” Brendan shrugged.

“How nice of her,” the bigger man said, rolling his eyes.  Before the incident, he and Brendan only hung out at the Warehouse, not stripped there.  No one did.  It was a trendy club where pretty boys and pretty girls went to see and be seen.  People danced, but only on the floor, not on stage, and while plenty of illicit hookups happened, they used to be more discreet.

Until the super villain Seductra showed up, weaving her reality-altering magic.  She’d broken out of whatever jail they’d tried to put her in, again, and in a flash, all the men in the club were warped and twisted like Todd and Brendan, becoming go-go boy caricatures of whatever it was they sought in a partner.  The taller brunette had always liked a full-figured woman, hence his muscled curves, while the sculpted blonde had always been more of an ass man.  From what they’d been able to gather since, everyone’s voice and speech had been altered in a similar manner, while the shrinking and growing of their respective endowments appeared to be at random, though that provided little comfort to the afflicted.

Todd and Brendan had actually been on stage when the Liberty Legion arrived and put a stop to Seductra’s fun.  The formerly-straight studs were both mortified when the lustful haze lifted and they found themselves going at each other in their altered forms, even as the new desires blazed brighter than ever.  But before Adam Arcane had a chance to undo the villainess’s spell, the Liberty Legion was called off to some other crisis.  And another.  And then another, leaving the altered men to fend for themselves.  It was a very potent spell, Adam Arcane said, and he simply hadn’t had the time to devote the resources to undoing it.  And since none of it was technically life-threatening to anyone, it didn’t make the list of priorities when entire worlds were at stake.  It would likely run its course, he’d said.

So far, the only facets of their altered existences that had even slightly thawed were their voices, and even those were only in times of calm.  In the heat of things they still had a tendency to slip back, to say nothing of the unquenchable desires that caused such slips in the first place.  Where both men had been straight before, now they were anything but, with each of them quivering at the thought of another man.  Luckily for them, they had a similar effect on the men around them, which is how they were able to strut and waddle around exposed in public.  They weren’t thrown in jail, merely groped and cat-called, perpetually objectified wherever they went.

Mostly, that was back to the Warehouse.  Instead of working in IT and Accounting, respectively, Todd and Brendan now danced at the bustling establishment, as well as providing other, more intimate services at the club-turned-brothel.  The disaster had turned into a windfall for the bar, and while all of the affected men knew on a logical level that they didn’t have to keep coming back, they all wanted to, on a deep, fundamental level.  They weren’t physically stuck in a loop, but spiritually, each of them yearning for more, night after night.

“I don’t know, man,” Brendan said, his smile growing as he watched Todd continue to absently shimmy in place.  Before the incident, he could count on one hand the number of times he’d ever seen the burly stud dance, none of them well, but now his friend was a pro.  They all were.  “It’s really not so bad, is it?  Forget your dick for a second.  That’s the old Todd talking.  I know for a fact the new one still has plenty of fun.”

The brawny brunette blushed a deeper shade, the tiny pouch of his bodysuit twitching.  “Yeah, okay, but it’s not like we asked for this.”

“I mean, that’s life, though.  People rarely ask for the things they get,” the blonde said, stepping forward and slipping his hands beneath the elastic webbing covering Todd’s torso.  “All we can do is make the most of it.”

The bigger man’s oversized slab heaved, his heart racing and his stomach fluttering.  They didn’t talk about it, neither of them was at that place yet, but their existing friendship had turned into something much, much deeper since the incident.  Just thinking about Brendan made Todd’s whole body ache.  He constantly longed for the other man in a way he’d never longed for anyone, and though he had a near-limitless craving for men at the moment, there was only one who truly mattered.  And he knew Brendan felt the same.  “Look at you…cute AND smart,” he teased.  “I wish I could be half as calm about this as you are.”

“Me?”  Brendan laughed and wrapped his arms around Todd’s waist, latching onto the bigger man’s plump pillows while his own club of a cock wedged between them.  “I’m just trying to keep up with Dave.  Never seen that thick lil’ fucker so happy.”

Todd and Dave had been lifting buddies prior to the incident, each sporting a similarly strapping build, and with the exception of Dave’s light brown skin the two could have passed for brothers.  Now, they still shared a similar shape overall, but instead of standing the same towering height, Dave barely reached the 5’4” mark.  Like Todd, he’d developed an oversized set of pecs and an overly plump rear, but unlike the tall brunette it was all packed onto a thick little frame, complete with a button cock that made the bigger man seem hung by comparison.  Yet, far from being horrified by his transformation, the mighty, meaty little man embraced it.  Dave seemed to truly relish strutting around in his little panties, to bouncing up and down on a now-larger man’s lap, to flaunting his short, thick curves where he’d once been tall and tapering.

“You know Dave,” Todd shrugged, reaching around to knead Brendan’s supple mounds.  “Doesn’t take much to keep that dude happy.”

“Look who’s talking,” the blonde grinned, tweaking both of his friend’s inflated nipples.  He laughed at Todd’s sharp hiss and the way the other man’s fingers bit into his bouncing rear, loving the quiet whimpers that soon followed.

“Fuuuuuuck that feels good…” Todd gasped, his sparkling doe-eyes wide.  “Love it when you play with these tits, baby,” he purred, slipping back into his recently acquired speech pattern.  He didn’t try to fight it.  He knew Brendan actually did like it, and it was just the two of them, which meant he didn’t need to worry about being judged.

“Yeah?  So you like it after all, huh,” Brendan teased, grinding his cock against his friend’s stomach.

“YeeEEEuuuUuussSSS…” Todd moaned, his voice cracking and his expression pained.  “My little nub’s so hard right now….fuuuuuuuck…” he whined, biting his puffy lower lip.  “Wanna see?”  Brendan let go when Todd stepped back, knowing his friend was on autopilot.  He gave his own inflated log a few tugs while the curvy Adonis started shimmying in place, groping his warped muscle as he slowly peeled out of the intricate underwear, his softened features a mask of determined ecstasy.  “OOOOhhhHHHH yessssss baby,” Todd whimpered, tweaking the tiny organ between his finger and thumb as he flexed and posed.  “So fuckin’ small…like a third nipple down here…wanna play with this one,” he asked, batting his eyes.

“Better idea,” Brendan said, dropping to his knees and swallowing his friends entire package.  He loved the way Todd’s hands latched onto his head, holding it in place while he pumped his hips and thrust the pointless little organ deeper into his mouth.  At its current size Brendan was able to work the whole thing at once, which he did until Todd’s voice had reached a familiar, heightened pitch.

“So good baby…so good…fuck…please baby…I need you to fuck me…” the bigger man begged, his tone desperate.  “You gotta give it to me…fuuuuuuuuck I need it…”

With practiced precision the pair fell into place.  Todd dropped to his knees and spun around while Brendan lurched forward, draping himself against the bigger man’s back.  He kissed Todd’s neck while their bodies rocked into a matching rhythm, his hands gripping the brunette’s hefty pecs as he slipped inside.  On cue, the curvy hunk shot upright, writhing in the blonde’s grip and howling like a siren.  He could feel his fattened rear and heavy pecs bouncing with the force of Brendan’s thrusting, and could actually see it happening in the reflection of the nearby TV.  At one point Todd would have been horrified by the sight, and of his tiny little cock poking out pitifully beneath his top-heavy torso, but he was steadily growing to love it.  He was far more interested in the sight of Brendan’s beautiful face twisting ecstatically over his shoulder, and of the whole-body contentment that came from having the man he loved inside him.  The thrusting blonde was right, no one really got to choose everything that happened to them in life, and sometimes the things you didn’t ask for ended up being better than the ones you did.  He never saw this in either of their futures, but now that it was here, he wasn’t so sure he wanted the Liberty Legion to set things back to the way they’d been before.

The pair went at it for hours, putting the increased stamina of their altered bodies to the test.  Todd was the first one to use the “L” word halfway through, though Brendan quickly reciprocated, their expressed emotions fueling the desperate frenzy that followed.

“God…goddamn, baby…” Todd finally sputtered when they’d finished, his voice hovering somewhere between normal and its altered state.  “You were incredible.”

“Don’t…sell yourself short,” Brendan panted, his softened log of a cock draped heavily over one of Todd’s thighs.  “Hell of a silver lining,” he laughed, his expression still dazed.

The bigger man leaned over for a long, lingering kiss.  “Who knew,” he said, his face bashful when he finally broke it off.  “Maybe we should make t-shirts that say ‘Seductra Was Right.’”

“We probably couldn’t wear ‘em,” Brendan laughed.

“Good point.  Thongs, then,” Todd said, nodding. “I’ll talk to Dave tonight and see if he’s on board…maybe we can convince management.”

The bottom-heavy blonde rolled over so that he was fully on top of his friend, their lips inches apart.  “Don’t be too quick about it…I don’t want you wearing anything at all any time soon,” he said, leaning in for another kiss.