Clowning Around (Patreon)

Todd couldn’t stop smiling.  Staring at the garish clown’s wild explosion of gravity defying, rainbow-hued hair and massive jet black eyes, It was the last thing the young, dark-haired jock wanted to be doing at the moment.  But he didn’t have a say in the matter.  None of them did.  Chris and Jayden wore the same smiles to his left and right, though there was nothing remotely humorous about their predicament.

They’d first encountered the clown earlier that day while out for a run in the park.  He’d been making balloon animals for no one in particular, going through exaggerated, pantomimed motions in the process.  He shuffled back and forth in circles on the oversized, cherry red paddles that were his feet, his white-gloved hands held at his sides while his painted-on smile never wavered.  The baggy yellow jumpsuit, with its busy pattern of mismatched, rainbow polka-dots made it hard to determine the man’s size, just as the thick layer of makeup made it impossible to distinguish his actual features.  His head appeared large and round, bigger than it should have been when compared to the rest of his body, but at the time they’d attributed that to the bizarre outfit, painted face, and tall, rainbow hair.

They could have, and should have, jogged by without saying anything.  Only Chris never could pass up what he perceived to be an easy target, and neither Todd nor Jayden could go against the blonde hunk.  They were a triumvirate on campus, lording their fit frames and superior looks over everyone, but internally Chris sat atop the pyramid.  It wasn’t just that his arms were slightly better than the others, or that his dick was half an inch bigger, or that his towheaded, azure-eyed features were seen as the most desirable; it was his debilitating arrogance that thrust him to the top.  He was never wrong, never out of line, and never responsible.  He graced people with his presence, and as such a certain amount of fealty was owed.  Which is where Todd and Jayden normally found themselves.  Despite the fact that Todd was essentially a chocolate-haired clone of his friend, and that Jayden’s shredded, dark-skinned physique was the most ripped of the bunch, Chris’s unwavering belief in his own superiority was so overwhelming that they just went with it.  It made things easier.  They could be swept along in the smug stud’s wake, reaping the benefits while being shielded from the collateral damage his passing inevitably created.  And since they never experienced it themselves, Todd and Jayden were able to acknowledge Chris’s troubling behavior without feeling any real motivation to stop it.

So when the strapping blonde veered off course and headed over to the clown, his two friends followed.  They joined in when Chris started running his mouth, puffing out their bare, sweat-slick chests as they hurled a melange of insults, homophobic and otherwise.  The clown had simply stared at them, it’s too-large head bobbing back and forth while it waved an admonishing finger.  Todd didn’t remember the huge, jet-black eyes at the time, though thinking back on it, it occurred to him that the eyes he’d seen had appeared just as painted on as the rest of the clown’s features, as if they’d been drawn on the backs of the clown’s eyelids with makeup.

The interaction had only lasted a few minutes at most.  After their verbal tirade, Chris popped a few of the clown’s balloons and then the group had jogged off and largely forgotten all about it by the time they made it back home.  At that point they were more concerned with what bar they were going to hit that night, and which of them was going to score first.  They spent the rest of the early evening pre-gaming and getting ready, hanging around their ratty, college-town house in shorts or underwear until the last possible minute.  Given their shared athletic backgrounds, their living space was equal parts locker-room and bachelor pad, a place where public nudity and “horsing around” were the norm, as long as no one ever acknowledged how much they actually enjoyed the skin-to-skin contact.

When the knock on the door came, it was Todd who trotted over to answer it.  Being clad in a pair of small nylon running shorts, he was the closest to actually clothed compared to Chris’s stuffed, navy boxer briefs and Jayden’s crimson briefs.  He wasn’t entirely surprised to find the front porch empty when he opened the door as pranks weren’t uncommon in a neighborhood full of college students, but he let out a shocked gasp when he turned around and saw the clown from the park standing in their living room.

He let out a yelp just as Chris and Jayden came running in, the sound drying up in his throat when the clown started bobbing its head again.  It repeated the same shuffling, circular dance they’d seen it perform in the park, only this time the three stunned jocks found themselves mirroring it at the same time.  They gawked at each other in horror whenever their twirling eyes met, helpless to do anything other than shuffle and bob and spin in place, their arms glued to their sides with their wrists bent and their fingers pointing outwards at their hips.

They spun and spun and spun, well beyond the point where the nauseating vertigo should have brought them to their knees.  They were so disoriented that they didn’t notice that what little clothing they wore had vanished, or that their skin had taken on a shiny, rubbery sheen until long after they’d stopped spinning.  Their immediate concerns were related to the increasingly-menacing clown, its features taking on more of an otherworldly appearance.  They saw the saucer-sized voids that were its eyes, its head seeming larger than ever as the body beneath moved in unnatural ways.  The billowing yellow jumpsuit almost appeared empty at times, the limbs moving with boneless fluidity and a seeming defiance of gravity when the clown would bend and sway.  Now, the dizziness gradually fading, all Todd could do was stand and smile and watch while his friends did the same.

And then Chris started shouting.  At least that’s what Todd thought his friend was doing based on the way his mouth silently, frantically, opened and closed.  He couldn’t move his own, and Jayden appeared equally mute, but Chris continued to vigorously, noiselessly, bark at their silent antagonist.  As the blonde kept yelling, they all began to notice a balloon inflating from one of the clown’s polka-dot spots.  What they thought was a green patch of fabric steadily puffed and swelled until a small round balloon stood out from the yellow jumpsuit.  It was enough of a surprise to quell Chris’s outburst, his fury-red face going pale when the clown plucked the balloon and started to let the air out.

“I don’t know who the fuck you are or how the fuck you’re doing this but I’m gonna fuckin’ kill you!  Do you hear me!  You’re dead!  Fuckin’ dead, bro!  I swear to god…you better not ever let us move again ‘cause the first thing I’m gonna do is shove those fuckin’ balloons…”  Three sets of eyes went wide when the blonde’s voice issued out of the slowly deflating balloon.  The clown pulled its head back, blinking and wincing in cartoonish fashion while the flurry of expletives filled the room.  It clamped the end shut to cut off the tirade before exaggeratedly fixing its shock of rainbow hair and locking eyes with Chris.  It loosened its grip to let the air out again, only this time it tugged on the sides of the lip, causing the pitch of the jock’s tirade to rise and rise.  “...up your fuckin’ ass you freak!  What the fuck’s your deal anyway?  You some kinda creep?  You think you can just roll up in here and get away with some shit like this?  You’re dead fuckin’ wrong bro!”

Chris’s disembodied voice was a high, helium squeak by the time the air ran out.  The clown tossed the empty inflatable over a shoulder and grabbed another one of the polka-dots, a pink one this time, somehow producing yet another balloon when it opened its palm.  Whether Chris was silent from shock or had been frozen again Todd couldn’t tell, but whatever the cause, the blonde hunk stood in pale, wide-eyed silence as the clown began blowing.

They all would have screamed had they been able.  With the first breath, Chris’s ripped washboard shot outwards.  The formerly trim, tapering waist widened and bloated into an overly-round, beachball gut that somehow stood straight out instead of sagging.  Each subsequent breath spread the inflation, with the blonde’s prominent pecs becoming a pair of round, plump muscle tits capped by round shoulders that flowed into round, beefy arms.  His perfectly proportioned bubble blew up along with his now-chunky thighs, and while his seven-inch cock didn’t get any longer, and actually looked smaller than it should against the curvy flesh, the dangling organ and heavy balls thickened and rounded like the rest of him.  Even Chris’s chiseled features filled out, his cheekbones and lantern jaw disappearing as his full, ruddy face seemed to sit directly on his meaty new pecs.  The changes to his face were accentuated when his thick, full head of golden hair began to recede, drawing up into a thin, wispy patch at the apex of his scalp while his tanned skin took on the balloon’s shade of fleshy pink.

Todd couldn’t process what he was seeing. In a matter of seconds his handsome Adonis of a friend had been inflated into a pink, pleasantly plump mountain of a man.  Where before he’d been firm and tapering, everything about Chris’s new shape was almost impossibly round and curvy.  Though his newly-acquired flesh didn’t sag, Todd couldn’t help but think how supple it looked, making him question how much of the bulk was muscle and how much of it was merely cushioning.

He didn’t have long to wonder before the clown’s attention shifted.  The brunette’s heart raced when the jet-black eyes passed over him, then sank when they instead landed on Jayden next to him.  He could feel the other man’s silent fear when the clown produced another balloon, this time the long, skinny variety reserved for twisting into shapes.  He braced himself when the horrible creature started blowing again, this time provoking a very specific kind of growth.  With each breath, the shredded, dark-skinned stud’s cock twitched and hardened.  To everyone’s surprise, when it reached its full six-and-a-half inches the rigid organ kept growing.  It widened and lengthened, pushing past seven, then nine, and then eleven inches before settling as an imposingly thick, foot-long club.  The heaping balls beneath were just as impressive, but before Jayden had a chance to even begin to process his girthy monster the clown reached into its jumpsuit and produced a comically oversized safety pin.  Todd tried to shout a protest even as he could see Jayden attempting the same, but the only sound they heard was a loud pop when the balloon exploded.  The wiry, stunned jock could only stare in helpless horror as the distended member lost none of its size but all of its firmness, hanging long and limp and looking overly huge against his lean frame.  And the clown wasn’t done.  By the time Jayden looked back up from his swaying log the garish terror was already raising another balloon to his lips.  Each puff caused the right side of the frantic jock’s perky bubble to expand and swell until the cheek looked like a large melon.  Once full, the clown grabbed another balloon and repeated the process, bringing the left side to a matching size.  When both were full, it twisted the knots together and gave the bundle a few rough bounces, eliciting a similar response in Jayden’s inflated cheeks while a pained expression washed over his face and his lifeless monster started leaking like a faucet.

Todd knew what that meant.  It was his turn.  Though escape was impossible and resistance was futile he tried anyway, screaming at himself internally to break the invisible bonds and flee.  He had visions of himself turning and running naked out the door, not hesitating in the slightest to leave his warped friends behind if it meant his freedom.  What he watched instead was more of the same.  This time the clown stuck a pair of balloons in his mouth and Todd felt his chest begin to expand.  Like a limited version of what happened to Chris, his chiseled pecs grew larger and larger, swelling to the point where he could no longer see over them.  He actually felt the bottom of his chin brushing against their tops, a shiver running through him as his arms brushed against the suddenly-sensitive sides.  He couldn’t see his cock over the shelf of muscle, but he felt it spring to life when the clown tweaked the nubby, uninflated tips of the balloons, sending a lightning rod of bliss from his enlarged nipples straight to the aching organ.  A stab of dread sliced through the ecstasy when the clown picked up the giant safety pin again, fortunately discarding both before producing yet another balloon.  Only this time, instead of inflating it he stepped forward and slipped it over Todd’s oozing cock in condom fashion, causing a swell of pressure to build within the young brunette’s top-heavy torso until an impossibly familiar liquid began leaking from the enlarged nipples instead.

His work now complete, the clown stepped back and gave each of them a final look as it bobbed its head back and forth again.  The bottomless pits of its eyes disappeared when the lids closed, confirming Todd’s suspicions when he saw a familiar, painted on set staring at them instead.  The pace of the bobbing quickened, and it became apparent that the clown's head actually was getting larger as it inflated like one of its balloons.  A fresh wave of horror washed over them when it reached truly impossible proportions and the empty yellow jumpsuit fell away, leaving only a single, massive balloon with a horribly distended clown’s face grinning at them and hovering in the center of the room.

It popped with a deafening explosion, showering the altered men in a cloud of iridescent, rainbow glitter.  The shiny particles seemed to sink into their skin on contact, and as they watched the full-body shimmering begin to fade, they all realized that their fear was going with it.  They were grinning again, a wave of helpless, giddy joy washing over them despite the knowledge that they should be panic-stricken and horrified.  As movement slowly returned to their limbs, all they could do was smile, stuck in the clutches of uninhibited joy.

“What the fuck just…” Chris started, his squeaky new voice breaking off in a gasp when the bloated beachball heard himself.  “Is that my voice!?  Fuck!  Look at me!  I’m fuckin’ huge,” he laughed, giving a slight groan as his fingers prodded at his pudgy frame.  Though it held gravity at bay, the way the stubby digits bit into the yielding flesh answered Todd’s question regarding its firmness.  “Oh…oh fuck this is weird…it all feels so…so good,” the ruddy bull squeaked, groping himself.

“Good?!  What did that thing do to my dick,” Jayden giggled, the question sounding chipper and cheerful instead of terrified.  He whimpered as he tugged on the lifeless monster, a fresh round of oozing spilling forth with each pull.  “It’s…it’s not…oh god my ass is huge…” he moaned, going up on his toes when he reached around behind and squeezed one of the heaping cheeks.  “Fuuuuuuuuuck…even just touching this thing is…is…what am I…” he giggled again, his fingers disappearing into the deep, jiggling valley.  “OOHHHOOOOOO!  Gooooddddddddddd,” he howled when they found his ravenous hole, his other hand shooting around to join the first.

Todd just grinned and blinked, looking at the pale pink pile of flesh groping himself on one side and the bottom-heavy, uselessly hung hunk fingering his inflated ass on the other.  The dual visions called attention to his own alterations as his inflated shelf began leaking profusely, sending twin trails of sticky liquid streaming down his disproportionate torso.  He instinctively reached down and grabbed his rigid pole, finding it unchanged other than the fact that it was bone dry.  “Am I…?  Is this…” he gave a short laugh and shivered when he scooped a few fingers through the liquid and licked them clean, his eyes going wide.  “Oh my god…it is.  How am I cumming from these things?!”  Todd gave his friends a pleading look, but he couldn’t have anticipated Chris’s response.  The girthy blonde cocked his head to the side for a moment and then lunged forward, wrapping his beefy arms around the brunette to hold him in place while closing his lips around one of the oozing nubs.  “FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK,” Todd roared as he spasmed in the blonde’s still-sturdy grip.  He’d never felt anything like it.  Chris’s warm lips and writhing tongue were like every blowjob he’d ever received rolled into one, the sensation easily outweighing any pleasure his dick had ever brought him.  “Du…dude! What’re you doing?!”

Chris reluctantly pulled his mouth away enough to speak.  “I dunno…I’m hungry,” he shrugged, reaching down to tug on his friend’s solid cock.  He laughed again when the action prompted a fresh surge in liquid, the salty fluid streaming down both of his chins.  “Oh shit!  It’s like pumping a well!”

Todd could only gasp and groan as his friend tugged, sending wave after wave of ecstasy through him.  The blonde former-jock was right; his cock was like a lever, and each pump caused more and more of the impossible liquid to flow.  He was starting to realize that he’d been stuck with the opposite problem as Jayden, that he’d forever be walking around with a perma-tent he couldn’t even see over his leaking muscle tits, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.  That giddy elation was only growing stronger as they explored their new bodies, and he was more interested in how soft Chris’s pink-hued skin felt.  The other man was subtly writhing and squirming against him, his bulbous cock oozing the way the brunette’s chest did.

“Can…can one of you help a dude out…please…” Jayden whimpered, pulling their attention away from each other.

Todd looked over to see their whipcord friend face-down on the floor, his pillowy new cheeks spread and in the air.  “Why don’t you give it a shot, big guy,” Todd laughed, slapping Chris’s own expanded ass and stepping away.  The beefy blonde just shrugged and dropped awkwardly to his knees, the motion looking nowhere near as dextrous as his formerly-athletic frame had been capable of, and plunged inside.

Jayden let out a low, wordless bellow while Chris’s helium squeak started chirping louder and louder with each thrust.  The inflated blonde’s whole body shook as the thinner man threw his heaping new cheeks back, and he seemed more interested in how it felt to rub his hefty gut against his friend than to thrust into him.  “Shouldn’t…shouldn’t we be freaking out…” the bottom-heavy man giggled, his limp, oversized snake slapping wildly.

“Right?  I mean…look at us…” Todd said, sounding unconvinced as he forced his hands away from his oozing mounds.  “Why am I so happy about this?”

“Don’t know, don’t care,” Chris squeaked, his pudgy hands sliding all over his pink, softened skin.  “Fuck…feels so fuckin’ good…” he groaned.  “Everything’s, like, heightened…”

“Always did call you a fuckbag,” Todd laughed.  “Never thought it’d be…literal…” The top-heavy brunette was dropping to his knees before he’d even finished speaking.  Scooping a few loads of the liquid streaming from his oversized pecs, he lubed up his solid girder and plunged into Chris’s expanded rear, pressing the oozing mounds into the other man’s wide back.  “Oh shit…oh shit…oh shit…” he whimpered, the overwhelming sensation causing him to nearly black out again.

“Yessss…yes…yes…yes…yes…” Chris chirped again and again, his thick frame spasming as Jayden’s fat, clapping cheeks fucked him in front and Todd took him from behind.

“This is…incredible…” the dark-skinned stud giggled again, looking back over his shoulder at his two friends.  He still felt like he should be panicked, but all he felt was a giddiness that bordered on the ecstatic.  Even thinking about what it would be like for the three of them to be out in public going forward, and how they’d never be able to hide their warped bodies or overwhelming desires, didn’t dull his bliss in the slightest.  If anything, the thought of being around others only heightened it, as if they could share their newfound joy with others.  They could host parties, or hire themselves out to “perform” for other groups.  “Guys…do you think we could…could…”

“Yes,” Todd nodded, thinking the exact same thing at the exact same moment.  “Fuuuuuuck yes.”

“Oh man,” Chris squeaked, his eyes going wide with excitement.  “That’s gonna be wild.  Just think about how many people we can…cannnnggghhnn…”

The broad blonde’s sentence terminated in a piercing wail as he came, but his friends understood.  They didn’t need any balloons or clown attire to make people happy.  They were already the balloon-animals that had been twisted into bright new shapes; all they had to do now was go out and be seen and spread the joy.

And, if some people were truly lucky, maybe the clown would show back up for a special performance.