Forgetting Parts 1, 2, and 3 (Patreon)

“Perfect.” Alex thought, she took a step back to admire the lamp’s position. Her eyes looked up then scanned her living room. Her chest bubbled with excited pride. She had just finished unpacking into not just her first home, but her dream home. She walked around to take it in. Her hand slid across the cool stone of her fireplace mantle.

“$200,000 and I get this fireplace? Along with the ocean view?” She thought, looking out the window to the crashing waves. She shook her head in disbelief. “Oh! That reminds me.” Alex said, looking at her smartwatch. The date read June 10th. “I need to mail out my mortgage check!” She thought, scuddling over to her purse. She drew out her checkbook and then walked over to the kitchen table.

“I need to remember to set this all up through my bank, so I don’t have to do this every time.” She thought, her fingers pinched into the alignment of holding a pen. She started writing, only to realize a split second after she didn’t have anything in her hand.

“Oh, Pfff, hahaha I haven’t done that one before!” She chuckled to herself. The chair scraped across the tiled floor. She walked up to the kitchen cabinets. She opened them. All her pots and pans were hung and stacked neatly.

“Pen… Pen….” She thought, trying to look through the kitchenware. She looked underneath a pot but found nothing. She squinted, feeling gradually more confused. “I swore I put one in here!” She said, rummaging. She closed that cabinet and opened the next one. She pushed through dozens of boxes of Mac & Cheese.

“I know for sure I put one in here…” She reasoned, “Frick, where are my… um… where are…?” She thought, feeling more confused by the second. She closed the door to collect herself. “What am I even doing in this cabinet? I’m not hungry.” She thought, “What was I looking for..?” She thought, trying to fan around the room for clues. The strainer full of batteries didn’t provide any answers.

“Huh.” She wondered, walking out of the kitchen, then stopping suddenly. Her eyes bulged. Something didn’t feel right. A searing pain scorched her bladder. It had become a familiar feeling the past couple of weeks. This one hit especially hard. She crossed her legs and then bit her bottom lip. “I need to go to the potty.” Alex realized in desperation. She looked down the nearest hallway.

“It’s down this way… right?” She thought it was hard to remember the full layout of her house. “I should know this, I’ve been here for a month now…” She wandered down the hall, peering into different rooms to see if they were the one. “I was just in this one I think.” She thought, after looking into her office for the third time.

“I can just let a little out…” She thought. That felt like the right idea at the moment. She did just that. Her muscles relaxed, letting a squirt of pee escape into her jeans. The warm liquid easily saturated her panties, before overflowing into her jeans. The little accident woke her up.

“What the fuck am I doing??” She thought, her mind sharpened. “The bathroom is connected to my bedroom!!” She realized. Capitalizing on that moment of clarity, Alex raced down the hall and into her bedroom. The pain in her bladder was intense. It ached so heavily that it dominated the forefront of Alex’s mind.

“Just hold it… Just hold it… Just… um…” Alex thought, stopping in the middle of her bedroom. “How do I hold it??” She thought. It was a rudimentary concept, but for some reason, her mind couldn’t recall the muscle memory. Alex couldn’t stop it, her bladder relaxed. The pee gushed completely unrestricted. In desperation, she stuffed her hands in between her legs. All that did was cause pee to run down in between her hands.

“WHAT AM I DOING!?” Alex screamed, throwing her hands up in frustration

****

Alex caught a glimpse of the clock at the bottom of her computer screen. It took her a second to decode the time. It read Wednesday, 1:56 PM. Part of her felt like she needed to be somewhere right now. It felt really important.

“Meh.” Alex said with a shrug. If it was that important, she probably would remember it. She turned her attention back to the laptop in front of her.

“Okay, what is wrong with me.” Alex typed directly into the google search bar. She hovered her pointer finger around the keyboard until she found the enter key 15 seconds later. None of the results jumped out as pertinent to her. “Blah blah blah…” She thought, she eventually found a website that generated a diagnosis based on your symptoms.

“Do I have to put in every single thing??” She thought, that felt like more work than her entire law degree. She rolled her eyes. Her attention span was waning. She could feel her brain pulling back to the TV. She surprisingly really liked the shows they played in the middle of the day.

“I wet pull-ups.” She typed as a last-ditch effort into the google search bar. She wasn’t lying. The idea came up after wetting her tenth pair of pants. It seemed like a no-brainer. She was wetting her pants a lot, it seemed logical that she should probably wear protection. It was easy to walk to the pharmacy and pick them up whenever she needed a refill.

“Woaah…” Alex said. Funny images of ABDLs filled her screen. She subconsciously leaned in closer. It didn’t seem weird; actually, she felt the exact opposite. Her mind erased away the original reason she got on her laptop. With exciting shaky fingers, she clicked around, jumping from websites to discussion boards. A woman popped up, wearing just a discolored disposable diaper. She was sucking her thumb with a wide toothy smile.

“She looks so happy!” Alex reasoned, looking down at her thumb. It was a knee-jerk decision. She curled each finger into a fist, except for her thumb. She stuck that out as far as she could. It felt weird as she lifted her hand up. That feeling never materialized into Alex’s inner monologue. Instead, she felt excitement flood her brain the moment the nail touched her lips. Her eyes melted into fluttery far-away bliss as her thumb slotted in between her teeth. Her thoughts quieted. Instinctually she sucked, pulling it out only to make funny popping noises. That elicited a giggle or two.

Each suck generated another wave of blankness. Her only thoughts were simple, happy, and buzzy. Zero part of her brain paid attention to the pee subconsciously dribbling out of her. It would squirt out whenever she wiggled or murmured babyish sounds. She just liked how her hips and legs felt warm.

“3:39” Read the clock. Her chin felt warm and oily. Alex looked down at herself. Drool cascaded down the folds of her shirt. “Woah I’ve been doing this a while.” She thought, the bottom of her legs felt different too. “Uh-ooh..” She said around her thumb, recognizing quickly she had leaked through her pull-up and into her bed. “Not again.” She thought, recalling a few hazy memories of wetting the bed.

“Ah well!” Alex thought, her brain remembered feeling happy and excited when she looked at the computer. With only one hand to navigate, she typed in ‘diapered adults.’ She lost herself in this new online world. It didn’t take long until she found an online store.

“Hmm, should I get more pull-ups or diapers?” She thought, her soaked sheets made that clear. She giggled at how obvious it was. She checked how much was in her cart to determine how many packs to buy. The number 34 was definitely less than 18 she reasoned, so it made sense to buy 50.

***

“Heheh, where did you gooooo Mr. Ummy… Heheh.” Alex said with a childish lip. She stopped crawling in the sea of baby toys. “What I lookin’ fors again?” She thought, knowing that was a lost cause. If she didn’t see it in front of her face, it was hard to know it even existed. She saw flashing colors reflect off a shiny plastic key ring. She grabbed it and then settled into a soggy seat. She looked up at the never-ending stream of cartoons playing.

Alex loved this part. She could let her existence absorb into the TV for hours. It was easy to imagine herself as part of the show. As if she was riding along with the characters into the magical world. They seemed so big. She wanted desperately to be as smart and cool as them. She easily mirrored her actions to them.

“Wewhs da iwce pwincess!?” Alex yelled heroically at the imaginary villain in front of her. She pictured shooting magical bolts at one another. She ducked and wiggled to evade them. In reality, she was moving to poop easier. She was too lost in her imaginary world to feel herself dump effortlessly into the already swampy mess. She didn’t notice her diaper was full. Instead of dry panties, slushy diapers had become the mindless default normal. She only could change herself once the diaper tore apart on its own.

“Eh! Tawke Dat!” She yelled, feeling her arms tire out. Her torso slumped, letting the dungeon fade away. She looked at a piece of paper lying next to her. A single neuron knew what it was, but it was just a whisper on a screaming rollercoaster. She had opened the urgent letter a week after she got there. It had bright attention-grabbing colors on it. The headline was red with big bold yellow letters. Alex zoned in on the letters. It was nearly impossible to generate this high level of thought, but she tried sounding the letters out anyways.

“L-….E…..A……um…. uh……..” She stopped to gather herself, flushed her brain, then looked back, “….D?” Her brain snapped after that. Thinking too hard made her feel floaty. She wanted to feel soft and comfortable, so she crawled up into her crib.

She smirked at the reflection in her mirror. Her mind stopped racing. Her face looked serious. For a moment, she finally recognized herself. She felt conscious thought surface. She saw herself for what she’d become. The only set of words she could come up with was:

“Oh hey I’m… I’m a…” She thought, but the end of it got lost in swirling birthday cake. She smirked, spittling drool out in the process. Alex’s spine collapsed like pancakes. Her body shoveled out dribbles into her diaper.

She didn’t have to finish. She knew.