Busy month, short post, random thoughts (Patreon)

Hi, it has been a while again. This is the most busy I've been in any December. The image here is some concept art from May 30.

Where is Version 45??

Even though there's technically enough finished content in this update, I sort of held myself back from updating the game this weekend to flesh out the new stuff, adding some nuances to it that make it feel like it's really a part of the game. 

I don't want to spoil the new stuff. However I will say the radar boosters are getting a buff as well as spider movement speed, and enemies will gently push you off of railing. I'm also going to try to improve baboon hawks along with upping their spawn rate. They've felt more illusive and rare than any other enemy, which is nice because seeing one feels like a surprise. But still, I do hope they get their first real time to shine this update. Looking ahead, I think I will want to release updates a bit slower than bi-weekly. So far I've noticed it's much easier to add new items and ship unlockables than it is to add new creatures, but I am going to try to focus on adding more than just one creature per update. I have to remind myself I don't have to rush to keep the game "alive". The video game isn't alive, there's no quota.

The crazy attention and success Lethal Company brought has led to a time of suspicion and uncertainty for me and people I know, as I think it's pretty reasonable to be suspicious of any incredible amount of success and praise getting suddenly thrown at you. A constant question I find myself asking is, "How big is this, actually?" My life has been busy and frantic while my mind hasn't caught up yet (which has led to some feelings of dissociation). There is now the possibility of scaling up--hiring a team, signing deals of many kinds, making merch, and more--but I do not feel ready for it.

Welcome To The Dark Place puts the past few years/games into context

Back when I was actively working on Welcome To The Dark Place (the game that was started in 2017), I think the main fear expressed in that game was my fear of the future. That fear became so strong that I became paranoid sick I wouldn't be able to finish the game before the future stole me away somehow--as if the game carried the weight of my last words alive. It included every possible prediction of what could happen to me, but it all boiled down to the fear that I wouldn't be able to "stay afloat." The game itself turned into a piece of floating debris I clung to, becoming full of meta-commentary on its own existence, far too caught up with my sense of identity which I saw as precious. This is a big reason I had to drop that game before finishing it. Every time I've finished a project and chosen to work on a new one instead of going back to the Dark Place has been like a reminder of what I learned from that game. Now there is enough distance from it that I would be able to come back and get the game finished, and it will feel very ironic, especially after this. When I made Welcome To The Dark Place back then I was fearing the future in a different way