Prompt 6: Ivy's Revenge (Patreon)

 Summary: After another beating from the Joker, Harley seeks refuge at her friend's home. Poison Ivy takes care of her friend, as she finds herself consumed with hate for the Clown Prince of Crime. Tonight, Ivy takes her revenge on the clown.

---

A man and woman stumbled into a dreary, abandoned warehouse. The man was none other than the infamous Joker, the alleged Clown Prince of Crime, and the woman was the equally infamous Harleen Quinzel, or Harley Quinn as she was known nowadays.

Both had seen better days. Joker rubbed his bruised arms, hissing through clenched teeth as his fingers touched the fresh wounds that the Dork Knight had left on him. The Caped Crusader had once again defeated him, and it took some of his most potent cans of Joker Gas to distract him and his army of sidekicks.

While Batman and his cronies raced to protect the citizens from his bombs, he had escaped with Harley clinging to his leg. Once again his eye candy was useless in the fight. The two escaped to one of Joker’s backup bases, where the Clown Prince of Crime could make up his next plan, and Harley could be her generally useless self. 

“Hey, Pudin?”

“Hrm.” Joker threw his purple coat onto a nearby chair. He tore open a nearby closet, and pondered if he’d rather wear an indigo suit, a violet suit, or the classic purple again.

“Pudin?”

“Hm.” He took out one of the suits, a smile on his face as he pulled it onto his aching body. “Ah, sometimes the suit just makes the man.”

“Pudin? I-I know you’re in a bad mood, but I got something that I think you’re gonna love!”

“Hm? What’s this?” Joker felt something in his coat’s pocket. He rubbed the object through the cloth, before reaching inside to pull it out. “That’s odd…”

“Pu-AHH!” Harley screamed, falling to the ground as a crowbar swung just over her head. She was shaking, trembling as she looked at the Clown Prince. He rested the crowbar in his opposite hand as he stared down at Harley, his eyes burning in the dim light of the room. “P-Pudin?”

“Sorry, Har. Didn’t see you there. You were saying?”

She gulped down her fear, believing him, because of course she did. She opened up her hand, lifting it up so that Joker could see the small device in the palm of her hand. “I-I knocked out Bat’s sidekick for a few minutes. I picked this out of his ear. I-I think it’s one of their communicators!” 

A proud smile formed on her face, and she flashed her pearly whites as Joker raised his brow. “We could use it to listen in on them next time! Isn’t that great?”

Joker took the small, black device from her hand and looked it over. “A chance to spy in on the Bats? Now there’s an idea… Ooh, the chaos I could create with this secret weapon in my hand.” He squeezed his fingers around the device, smiling at Harley.

“S-so, did I do good, Mistah J?”

“Oh, Harley. You did good bringing this to me.” He swung the crowbar, and Harley screamed in pain as it struck her wrist. A loud snap filled the air, and the dummy screamed. “But you also reached a whole new level of stupid! How could you not finish the job and kill that Robin?! I was just starting my act when I killed myself a Robin, but you? A whole year, and not a single cape to hang on your wall?! What’s wrong with you?!”

“Ow, ow, ow!” Harley had tears going down her face as she held her wrist. She was shaking as she stared at her lover’s eyes, watching him swinging his crowbar to and fro, barely missing her body. “B-but you told me to never kill any of Bat’s sidekicks! You said that was your job!”

“Oh, so you think you know better than me now, huh? Telling me what my job is now, are ya?!”

“N-no, Mistah J! I-EEP!” 

Joker grabbed Harley’s collar and hoisted her onto her feet. She watched the crowbar come at her, and she closed her eyes, bracing herself. Only it never hit. She opened one of her eyes, and realized the crowbar had stopped just an inch from her face. Harley was about to sigh in relief, before a foot slammed into her stomach and she hit the ground.

“And another thing. Where were you?! I was taking on the Dork Knight all by myself, I could have been killed, and it would have been on your fault!” His emotional stab hit its mark, and Harley’s tears continued to fall. “Is that what you want?!”

“B-but you told me to distract Robin, Nightwing, and Batgirl! I-I did my best! There were three of them, a-and they were all trying to get me, a-a-and-”

“A-a-and what?!” Joker scowled, dropping the crowbar. Harley cringed at the loud, metallic clang it made as it hit the stone floor, before whimpering as Joker pulled her onto her feet again. He backhanded her, cracking his hand against her face as he spat at her. “Stop sniveling! It’s pathetic! You’re supposed to be my straight man, you idiot! You’re supposed to set up my jokes and laugh, not cry like a giant baby!”

Another smack, and then another. His hand continued striking her face, leaving her pale cheeks a dark shade of purple as her tears ruined her makeup. “Now, Harley, that doesn’t look like a smile. Come on, hon. For your Pudin? Give us a smile.”

Harley could barely see from the tears in her eyes, but she tried so hard to appease her Mistah. She sucked on her split lip to try and hide the blood, before giving him her widest smile. He took one look at it, and dropped her.

“Nope. Not good enough. Well, I guess it’s just like what my old Nana Joker told me. If the bitch won’t stop acting like one, she’s got to be treated like one. You’re sleeping outside tonight.”

His words left Harley broken, and he savored the look. Her eyes widened as he swore he heard her heart shatter. Her mouth hung open like some slack-jawed idiot as he held back a laugh. He snorted at her, turning and walking away as he left her on the ground. 

“W-what?”

“You heard me. I’ll let you back inside tomorrow, if you’re good,” he offhandedly mentioned. Joker took a moment to fix his hair, before realizing she had yet to move. “What’s wrong? Can’t understand m-m-me?” He suddenly swung his leg at her, hitting her body and making her yipe like a true bitch. “You heard me! Out! Out! Get out of here!” 

Harley screamed, running as he kicked dust at her. Joker sighed as he watched her go, fixing his coat. “Some dogs just don’t understand tough love. You’ll thank me for this later, Har!” he shouted at her. 

A sudden jolt of pain stung the Joker, and he growled as he rubbed at his wrist. “Damn it. Feels like I twisted my wrist on her face. Ugh. Great. Now I have this to look forward too. Gonna be real fun making my next plan with this.” He rolled his wrist a couple of times, annoyed at just how bad his night was going for him.

---

Pamela Isley, or Poison Ivy, as the world knew her, tended to her garden that quiet night. She gently stroked the large leaf of one of her own homegrown plants, smiling at it. 

“You’re coming along nicely, aren’t you?” She moved to another planet, stroking the next plant. “And I see you’re doing well too.”

There was music playing all throughout her greenhouse, a slow, melodious tune that helped her children grow. It was also one of her favorite songs. The night looked to be a quiet evening in, but a sharp sound filled the air of her greenhouse. A loud banging against her greenhouse door.  Poison Ivy placed her watercan onto the vine-covered floor of her home.

Not Bat’s style to knock… Could be Nightwing, but I thought he was in Blüdhaven. The vines grew behind her, rising at her command. She readied herself for a fight, though she wasn’t sure what she did wrong this time. She’d been a good little citizen since she escaped Arkham. 

“Red! Yoohoo! You there?”

“Harley?” Ivy blinked in shock, before walking towards the door. The vines fell back to the ground as she opened the door, finding her best friend behind the door. 

The woman had a wide, toothy smile on her white face, and she quickly embraced Ivy in a hug. “How’s my favorite plant-themed supervillainess doing?! Mmmm!” Harley released Ivy, still beaming at her friend. 

“Harley. It’s good to see you again,” Ivy replied, glancing behind the young woman. She was completely alone, which usually meant one thing. The redhead looked at Harley’s smiling face, and she did her best to return the gesture. “Come inside. I’ll get you something to drink.”

“Thanks, Red!”

The two walked into Poison Ivy’s home, and walked through the greenhouse to reach the kitchen inside. Ivy couldn’t exactly rent an apartment, but the abandoned lab she called home was just as good. No rent, no loud neighbors, and no unwanted guests beyond the occasional costumed vigilante. Harley was one of the few people she welcomed into her home.

“Sorry about the mess. Wasn’t expecting the company,” Ivy apologized, leading Harley into the kitchen. The woman picked up some plates on her table and placed them in the sink, before looking at the woman. “Hot chocolate?”

“Mmm! Sounds good, Red! You always make the best hot coco!”

“That’s because I grow the cocoa trees myself. Of course my chocolate is better than anything bought at a store.” 

As Ivy quietly worked on their drinks, Harley pulled down the top of her costume, letting her hair go free. She waved her head back and forth, sighing in relaxation as she combed her fingers through her hair. Ivy glanced at her, noticing Harley was using her left hand.

“Hm.”

“I tell ya, Red! It’s nice with just us girls!”

“Mmhm.”

“And I always love how this place smells!” Harley took a deep breath, before exhaling. “Ah. Smells like roses.”

“Here, Harley.” Ivy held the cup out to her friend, who took it with a polite nod.

“Thanks, Red.” She took the cup with her left hand, before blowing on it. Pam sat across from Harley, mixing her coco with a small spoon as she stared at her friend. The blonde took a sip of the sweet nectar, and moaned in joy. “Mmm. Delicious! Thanks again, Red.”

“No problem, Har.” Ivy stared at Harley, giving the young woman a few more moments of peace, before Ivy pointed out the elephant in the room. “What did he do this time?” Harley froze. She didn’t move for a moment, before quietly placing her drink on the table. “You’re right-handed, Harley. Did he break it?”

“I don’t… think so?” 

“You’re the wrong kind of doctor to figure that out, Har.” Ivy stood up and sighed, massaging her forehead. “I’ll get my first-aid kit.” 

Ivy didn’t waste her breath with anymore questions, or trying to convince Harley not to go back to him. She had gone through this too many times. She knew how it’d go. No use talking to a brick wall.

She soon returned to the kitchen with a small, red bag in hand. She placed it on the table and the two began their usually ritual. Harley tried to keep on smiling, and Ivy sighed as she opened the bag. 

“Harley.” Ivy hated how her voice trembled. She shouldn’t have sounded so scared. She had no right to feel pain when Harley was right there, her heart and body battered. “Please. You don’t have to smile around me.” Ivy moved her chair so she and Harley were sitting beside one another.

“Mistah J said I look twice as cute when I’m smiling,” Harley mumbled.

“Only when it’s a real smile, Harley.” Ivy licked her thumb, before reaching forward to wipe the white makeup off of the blonde’s face. Harley cringed, grunting in pain as Ivy saw the purple, bruised flesh under the makeup. “Harley…”

It was worse than she thought.

“I-I’m fine, Pam.”

“Don’t lie to me, Harley.” 

Pam took a deep breath and sighed, before she began to work on the blonde’s arm. She gently rubbed an ointment to help dull the pain, before wrapping it in bandages and tying two braces to it to keep it straight. The whole time, neither girl could mee the other’s stare.

As Ivy finished inspecting and tending to Harley’s arm, the young woman sniffled. Ivy lifted her head and was met with tears streaming down Harley’s face. The tears flowed down her face, ruining her makeup yet again and revealing more of her bruised skin. 

“A-am I broken, Pam?”

“Harley-” The sight of her friends in tears was enough to shatter the stoic mask on Ivy’s face. She wrapped her arms around Harley, and rested the girl’s head on her shoulder. 

“I try. I try so hard, but everything always blows up in my face. Why can’t I get anything right?” She trembled in Pamela’s arms, gasping for air as tears soaked the other woman’s shoulder. “M-Mistah J got hurt because of me. He could have died because I was stupid. He was right to hit me.”

That single sentence made Ivy want to scream and shout at Harley. How could she ever think that? No one deserved to be treated this way. Harley acted like Joker was her fiance, her soulmate, but no one should have treated their soulmate like this! Pamela dug her nails into the palm of her hands, before releasing her rage in a sigh. She wrapped her arms around Harley’s body, stroking her body through the thin fabric of her costume. 

“Harley, nobody deserves this.”

“Then I fit this like a glove,” Harley uttered between sobs. “Mistah J says I make a perfect nobody.” Pamela had to fight the urge to dig her nails into Harley’s back. She held the woman in her arms, rubbing her cheek against Harley’s blonde locks. 

“Shh. No more talking. No more laughing. I want you to let it all out, Harley. Then afterwards, we can marathon ‘The Nanny.’”

“R-really?” Harley trembled in Pamela’s arms, continuing to sob and hiccup. She wiped her tears against Pam’s skin, her body shaking with every gasp of air. “Y-you’re the best, Red.”

“Mm.” Pamela didn’t reply, her mind lost to thoughts of blood and broken bones. She closed her eyes, and held Harley tighter, promising her as much comfort as she could give the blonde.

---

Pam and Harley stayed up for hours watching old, comedy shows. Harley loved the stuff, and she recited every joke as it played out. Pam found the whole thing to be rather dull and stupid, but the farce made Harley happy, so she stomached it for her best friend. The redhead bought the entire DVD box set of ‘The Nanny’ for nights like this, and the two made good use of it until Harley finally fell asleep.

Vines rose up from the ground and carried Harley to a Pam’s spare bedroom, though really it was more of Harley’s room. Pamela didn’t really have enough guests to justify calling it a guest room. The vines gently laid Harley down, and pulled the blankets over her body as Pam watched her slumbering form. A loud, unladylike snore filled the air, electing a soft laugh from the redhead. 

“Oh, Har…” Pam walked towards her friend’s slumbering body, and gently stroked Harley’s blonde hair. “I hate seeing you like this,” she confessed. “I hate knowing that you’ll go back to him, even after this. I hate how you can’t even see how bad you’ve got it.”

But most of all, she hated the Joker. Tonight was the night that broke her back. Pamela couldn’t stand by any longer. She was going to make the Joker pay for what he’d done to Harley, tonight. 

She had acquired the location of Joker’s backup base from Harley when the young woman was half-asleep. It was easy enough to get the info, using it properly would be the important part. Joker was an insane bastard, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t dangerous. 

Pamela had lost count of how many would-be heroes and villains lost their lives when they underestimated the Joker.

She had to be careful. She had to be smart. She needed a plan.

---

The Joker tinkered with the small earpiece, glaring at the device as he poked and prodded at it with his tools. “Damn thing… Bat’s always puts locks on his best toys,” he grumbled. He poked at thing with his tools, and it sparked, the jolt burning his hand. “Ow! That’s it! I’m calling in a handyman. Wonder if Lex is doing anything this week…?”

His quiet, peaceful work was interrupted by the earth shaking. He glanced at his feet, watching the stone floor shake as objects began to fall from his desk. 

“Huh.” 

The walls of his base burst opened, and Joker watched as long, green roots bursts from the ground and wrapped around his foot, trapping him where he stood. Long arms of wood and roots slithered through the now torn down walls. They surrounded the Clown Prince of Crime, keeping the roof from caving down as they made way for their mistress.

Poison Ivy glared down at Joker, riding on a small platform of green tendrils. Joker sighed, crossing his arms as he twisted his neck to look at her. 

“Oh, great. Swamp Thing.” By the look of it, she didn’t appreciate the humor. “Sorry, sorry. Oh, what was your name?” He snapped his fingers in thought, before beaming. “Floronic Man! Right? Tell me I’m warm!”

“No jokes, Joker. None of your crap.” Ivy landed in front of Joker, scowling at him as he raised his brow.

“...Animal-Vegetable-Mineral Man?” The roots around Joker’s foot twisted, forcing his foot to bend the wrong way as he grunted in pain. “Ooh! Someone’s not in the mood for good humor… Well, in that case, I’ll skip to my A-grade material.”

He grabbed the flower on his coat and pinched it, spewing acid from the small flower. It hit the roots around his feet, weakening them enough for him to leap out of the trap. “And by the way, A stands for acid! Haha! Try some!” 

He pinched the flower again, firing another stream of acid at Poison Ivy. She lifted up her hand, and several green tendrils tore out of the ground to protect her, taking the shot for her. 

“You’re not the only one with a green thumb!” He fired again at the wall of green tendrils, melting them down to reveal absolutely nothing. “Huh. Someone’s been spending too much time with Ba-AHTS!” Joker hit the ground, groaning as he held his bleeding skull. “Anyone get the number of that bitch…?” He looked up, glaring as Ivy held a chunk of broken wall in her hands.

The woman held up her hand, and more tendrils tore through the ground to wrap around his limbs, keeping his legs and arms trapped against the ground. “Ooh, getting kink-mmph!” A long piece of bark shot out of the ground and shot from one end of Joker’s face to the other, before slipping between his lips. It pulled itself tight, digging sharp splinters into Joker’s mouth as he was muzzled.

“No more talking.” 

Ivy held up her foot, and aimed her foot at Joker’s crotch. The clown let out a muffled shout, demanding her to stop as she waved her foot back and forth like some sort of pendulum. She gently brought it back onto the ground, before dropping the chunk of debris onto Joker’s pelvis. There was a loud snap, and Joker screamed in pain as his bone shattered.

“Aww, did that hurt?” Ivy finally smiled at Joker, and it was a terrible, horrifying sight. He gasped for air through the muzzle she had him in, struggling to escape. “I thought you were tougher than this. What’s wrong, only like it when Bats is the one hurting you?”

The tentacles around Joker’s arms pulled on him, and he let out another muffled screamed as they slowly pulled tighter and tighter on his body. He could feel all the pain amass in his gut, as Ivy slowly began to pull him apart.

He was so distracted by the pain of being pulled apart, he didn’t notice Ivy walking around and swinging her foot into his head. The heel of her shoe smacked against his head, stinging and kicking dirt into it.

Her foot then came down, slamming into his chest. She didn’t stop there, raising and stomping her foot down again and again, stabbing Joker’s chest with the long heel of her shoe. 

“This is for Harley, you son of a bitch. For every bruise. For every mark you left behind.” Thorns slowly formed on the tendrils, digging into Joker’s white skin and spilling red blood onto his chalk-like skin. 

“For every time she’s had to lie and say Batman was the one who broken her arm.” The tendrils curled around his limbs, dragging the sharp thorns along his skin. 

“For every night she questioned her worth, because of you.” She put her foot on the large rock crushing his broken pelvis, and kicked it off with ease. It fell to the ground, letting her see the dark stains on his pants. 

“For dragging her down into this life.” A vine slithered towards her, a crowbar wrapped in its grip. She took it, gently patting the palm of her hand with the hooked end. 

“I want you to know, Joker, that is person. I hate you. I don’t think I’ve ever hated a single person as much as I hate you. The men and women who kill this beautiful planet, they’re lazy, stupid, and ignorant, but at least they aren’t you. They’re a disease, but you… you are nothing more than a plague on my best friend’s life.”

She looked down at Joker, and Ivy saw him shaking his head back and forth. He knew what was coming, and that looked of fear in his eyes was almost enough to satisfy her. Ivy brought the crowbar down on Joker’s elbow, and he screamed as it snapped from the blow.

“Can I tell you something, Joker? I’ll admit, I’m not much better than you. I’ve done terrible things. I’ll keep doing terrible things. One of the worst things about me? I’ve always liked the sound of broken bones.” She smirked at him, and her white teeth glistened in the light.

“You mind scratching a girl’s itch, dear?”

Pamela Isley never considered herself barbaric, or savage, but she was willing to try new things. That night, she tried her best to be as savage and barbaric as the Joker deserved.

When her work was done, Pam stared down at the beaten, bloodied up body of the Joker. He took in slow, haggard breaths. His chest rose and fell slowly as Pam walked towards the exit she had made. 

“I’m not going to kill you, Joker. Killing you would just make you into a martyr in Harley’s eyes. The best I can do is keep you two apart while I try to help her see reason. So I’m going to leave you with a mutual acquaintance I contacted before I got here. I believe you know his work? He goes by the name, ‘Professor Pyg?’” 

That was enough to get a rise out of Joker. His eyes widened, and he struggled to escape his binds once more, only to wail in agony. His broken limbs were no use to him.

“Knowing you, you won’t die. You might even kill Pyg, but I doubt it. What matters is that those broken limbs, and being kept as Pyg’s new toy, will keep you away from Harley.” Pam dropped the crowbar to the ground, and walked towards the exit. Joker let out a muffled cry, his voice having long grown hoarse from his agonized screaming earlier.

Pam left Joker alone for about twenty minutes, before the Clown Prince of Crime heard a distinct snort out of his field of vision.

“Oinkety. Oinkety. Oink. Pyg will make you perfect…”

---

Pam returned to her home, exhausted and sick from what she had seen and done. She wanted to throw up, she wanted to sleep, she wanted to scream. She didn’t regret what she had done, but that sort of thing had never been her before…

But that was the thing about Joker. He always brought out the worst in people, even Pam. 

The redhead entered her home as the sun slowly rose up behind her. She yawned, eager for a night’s sleep, only to find someone in her greenhouse, watering her plants. She approached the figure, and found Harley smiling at her with a newspaper in one hand, and a watering can in the other.

“Hey, Red! Where you been?”

“Harley…? What are you doing up?”

“Couldn’t sleep. Been thinking,” Harley shrugged, before holding out the newspaper to her best friend. Pam rubbed at her eye and yawned, before taking the paper from her friend. “You ever been to Metropolis?” 

“No. Why?” Pam yawned again, glancing at the paper’s front page. “‘Flying Cats and Dogs. Superpets make a zoo out of Metropolis?’ by Lois Lane… What?”

“Doesn’t it sound cool?!” Harley beamed at Pamela. “I was thinking, Red, when was the last time I’ve been out of Gotham for something other than work? Never, that’s when. That’s why I was thinking, why don’t I go to Metropolis? That place has got a way nicer atmosphere than dreary ol’ Gotham!”

Pam wasn’t sure what to make of Harley’s decision. Was it really what she said, and just a vacation? Or was she finally trying to run away from the Joker, and Metropolis was the first step? Hell, maybe Harley just wanted to kidnap herself a superpet…

“And, I was thinking… Would you come with me? Metropolis ain’t nothing without my gal pal!” 

Her eyes widened, before a smile formed on her face. Pamela decided she didn’t care right now. Whatever the reason, whatever the future had in store, Pam had her friend. Maybe she could convince Harley to walk away, maybe Harley would find the answer herself. 

Either way, Pam knew she was along for the ride.

“Alright, alright. Let’s go make some coffee and make a plan. Come on, Har.”

“Whoo! Awesome! Cause I got to tell you, riding your plants? So much cheaper than taking a car. A lot greener too! Huh? Huh? Get it, Red?”