Monster Jousting Book 3 - Chapter 10 (Patreon)

Noah left the house. Black smoke bloomed out of the opened door like a sweeping cloud. Noah coughed and spluttered. “Shit,” he spat. The smoke reminded him of a certain night on the streets. He was inside a pub known for its chain smokers. Noah himself was a smoker, so he would like to think he was used to the smoke, but this, this was on a whole other level.

He had seen a video on the internet one time. It was a group of young men all smoking weed inside a car. It was literally a smoke box. That’s what his house now reminded him of.

Noah bent his back, hands on his knees, and coughed again. Pillow and Thraz were already waiting outside.

Noah turned to Pillow as Krall was busy getting used to his fire abilities. “Hey, you can be considered an animal, right?”

Pillow squinted his eyes, as if warning Noah. “I mean, in a way, yes?”

“Then can you evolve?” Noah asked. “I’ve wondered for a while now. Krall and Gluttony can evolve, so what’s stopping you from doing so?”

“You know, I had those thoughts right next to becoming a space wanderer, and transforming into a unicorn with laser rifles equipped to my body.”

“There’s unicorn’s with laser rifles in your world?” Noah’s eyes widened.

“It was a joke, dumbass,” Pillow said. “You really think there’s unicorns with lasers?”

“That’s made me a little sad now.” Noah smirked, and coughed once more. It was a chesty cough. “But why not? Krall has fire for claws. It’s hardly a stretch to imagine a unicorn with lasers.”

“All this talk with unicorns and lasers is messing with my intelligence,” Pillow said, waving his hand in the air as the smoke wafted over to them.

“What intelligence?” Thraz asked from the side.

“More than you have, shit for brains,” Pillow snarled. He turned back to Noah, and said, “Anyway, let’s see that pet of yours. Fire claws. My interest has peaked.”

“Thraz, get out of here, will you?” Noah shouted into the doorway. “You're going to stain the furniture with the smell of smoke.”

Krall grumbled. In the next second, he blasted out from the boundary of the doorway, and roared in euphoria. It seemed that he was happy with his newly gained powers. In fact, he was so happy that he barreled towards Noah at high speed.

“Slow down!” Noah shouted, but it was too late.

The hulking creature double the size of the biggest bear on earth clashed against Noah. The kobold-mole combination licked his face. His tongue was thicker, and longer than Noah’s own body.

“Ah, you fucking stink of smoke, man,” Noah said, keeping his face to one side.

He flexed his muscles, and threw Krall off of him. The monster flew through the air, and crashed against the building. Thankfully, Noah wasn’t so strong to cause any damage with just a throw. Krall rushed back over the next second, sitting beside Noah.

“That is,” Pillow said, pausing for a second. “Quite something. It feels like I’m facing that infernal crab again. He has its eyes. And the aura is the quite similar. But it has something… more? I can’t really put my  finger on it.”

“Claw,” Thraz added.

“What?”

“You don’t have fingers,” Thraz said as a matter of fact. “You have claws. Paws.”

“Screw you.”

“Screw you right back, little panda. I’m just telling the truth!”

Despite their little scuffle, Pillow, and Thraz looked at Krall in amazement.

“Yeah, he’s a good boy, isn’t he?” Noah laughed, scratching Krall's armour plated shoulder. Apparently he felt it. His legs twitched. It reminded him of his dog, Hank. Rest in peace, big guy. “Something more? Oh, you mean his bloodline? Yeah, he was originally a kobold, then he ate the heart of a big armoured one, then repeated the same process with a mole king. Now we’re here.”

Pillow clicked his tongue. “That’s it. He does have a faint sense of royalty about him.”

“You hear that, Krall?” Noah jabbed his elbow against Krall’s shoulder. “Pillow thinks you’re royalty.”

Krall jowls rose. He really was dog-like.

“Funny,” Pillow said dryly. “However, I’ve never heard of a monster eating hearts to evolve. That’s just strange.”

“You’ve never seen it?” Noah asked. He wanted to know more. “Even on your planet?”

“Nope. Never. Not even the broadcast we watched. Not in over a hundred years. Maybe it’s a specialty of Krall? Maybe a hidden bloodline that he has deep within him? Who knows?”

“Woah wait a minute,” Noah said. “You had a broadcast for over a hundred years? Ours was only online for twenty-seven years.”

“Oh yeah. One of them lasted for over fifty years, and then there was some sort of blackout. The administration seemed quite panicked about that. But in only a few days, they announced they were taking in volunteers for the next one. The world was called, ah what was it again? Ah, yeah: Apocalypto.”

Noah frowned. He crossed his arms. “Why do you think the broadcasts started? Surely it can’t only be for entertainment. That would be too simple, surely?”

“And why not? When I resurfaced–” Pillow paused. He shook his head, and continued, “I found out that it made people extremely rich. I’m talking about riches that can take you from planet to planet. Riches that can hire a supernatural army for your personal defence. Money is power. Power grants money. It’s a revolving door that everyone needs to go through. If I had enough money, I–”

Pillow tightened his hands into fists. Noah noticed it, but decided not to say anything. He continued, “There are some godly beings out there. What do you do when you have accomplished everything your life has to offer? What do you do when you have travelled hundreds of different planets, and find them all to be more or less the same as the one you have already walked? At that point, all there is left is entertainment.”

“Yeah,” Noah sighed a wry smile. “I guess so. I just can’t help but think there’s more to it than that. That’s all.”

“Not everything is a conspiracy.”

Noah laughed. “I know some people on Earth who’d argue with you on that point.”

“Hey,” Pillow said. “What is Earth like? I’ve only been on my planet, and this one.”

“I have a very jaded opinion on it,” Noah said. “We have no magic, or any advanced technology. We have taken rockets into space, landed on the moon, and even have thoughts about creating a place to call home on another, distant planet. My world gets broiled into wars for their own personal gain a lot. Media tries its best to warp the minds of those who pay attention to it. Which is a lot. So yeah, I ain’t missing very much.”

“What about family?”

Noah shook his head. “I don’t have any. I’ll spare you the sob story, but I grew up in an orphanage.”

Pillow’s ears perked up at the information. Like he could strangely sympathise with him. “Me too,” He said, clearly regretting it right after.

Noah smiled, but didn’t say anything.

Pillow cleared his throat. “Well, what are we going to do now? We can’t waste much time. The infernal crab and the wolf are dead. If we drag our feet, something at the same level will take its place, or maybe even something stronger. If that happens, we’ll have to find another way through the city. And I’ve only scouted one way.”

Noah looked up at the sky. The sky was a beautiful orange. But that meant that it would soon be dark, and the ravaging storm would arrive to wreak destruction throughout the city. “We can’t continue today. We’ll set out first thing in the morning. If luck’s on our side, our path will be clear.”

“Oh,” Thraz thrust his fists in front of him in excitement. “You humans call that a death flag. Am I right?”

“Death flag?” Noah couldn’t help but laugh. “Where the hell did you learn that?”

“I saw a few humans joke about it on the broadcast before,” Thraz said. “I think it sounds awesome. A death flag. Death. Flag. I want to be the death flag. The flag bringer of death.”

“You’re insane,” Pillow scoffed.

“I am very sound of mind, I will have you know.” Thraz held his dragon-chin high, and said, “Before my mother chucked me into a swamp of steel toothed piranhas, she told me I was the smartest dragonborn in the village.”

Noah said, “Why would she–Never-mind. Let’s just get some rest. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow. Make sure you have everything prepared.”

Noah left his words in the air as he walked back into his house. That was a mistake. The bed, furniture, and everything else was covered in a layer of black soot. Noah coughed.

Yeah, nope. I’m claiming another house…

Noah turned back around, and left the house. Krall looked down at him. His head drooped.

“Yes, it’s your fault. Don’t go using those fire abilities in a confined space. And definitely not in the house.”

So, Noah picked another house, cleaned it out, and finally fell asleep. Tomorrow, the mission would continue.