The Blood of Life - Chapter 4 - The Seduction of Loneliness (Patreon)

It took me longer to get this done than I wanted, but finally, chapter 4.

The little rest I can grab is brief and fitful. I usually sleep like the dead, but the few hours I have before nightfall do nothing to relax me. Instead, it just makes me nervous. I am up at dusk, already on my feet, ready to head out. There is just the faintest glow at the covered window, and after I light the lamp to confirm the time, I cautiously pull back the cloth I draped over the window and open the shutters. On the horizon there is a little pink and orange, and from it I feel an unnatural warmth against my fur.

I miss sunsets. I can no longer look at a blue sky and see clouds or enjoy the golden hour as the sun rises or sets. I am forever in the twilight, and even then. I can feel the reflected rays of the sun on me, reminding me what I can no longer see. In the faded light, the village of Strasek looks peaceful and calm. It will not give me its secrets easily, but I will find them. I need to know.

After brushing off the last of the graveyard dirt and dressing, I descend downstairs to the inn.

“Ah, Master Radic, sleeping in again, I see. You are quite the nocturnal animal,” says Alina when she spots me. “I was going to freshen your room up, but I didn’t want to disturb you.”

I still have the blanket with the dirt spread on the bed. “That’s not necessary right now.”

“Nonsense, I wouldn’t want you thinking I’m a bad hostess,” says the badger.

“I wouldn’t think that,” I say and then give her a warm smile. “I’ve left a bit of a mess pulling out my clothes. It wouldn’t be fair having you go through that.”

“It isn’t anything I didn’t see when I was married,” she says, giving me wink and a nudge. “I can handle it.”

“I wouldn’t want to trouble you with that,” I insist. “If you do wish to give me a hand though, perhaps you can pass me a few loaves of bread and a bottle of red wine. I have to visit the curiosity shop and impress on the owner for a favor.”

She chuckles. “Ah, the business Ekrem came to see you for this morning continues. Let me get that for you then.”

I give her a nod. “You are too kind,” I reply.

Alina disappears into the kitchen, and I take stock of the crowd in the dining room. The Twisted Vine Tavern is a thrum of activity. There is life here as people eat and chat. This isn’t like the restaurants of Vienna that are segregated by social class; everyone in the village eats here. Laborers and farmers sit near merchants, and even the village priest is taking his supper here tonight. Strasek is too small for the rich to socially isolate themselves completely from the poor. There is an uneasy companionship about that, but it’s still there.

I turn and wipe the tear of blood from the corner of my eye with my paw. I just need to pretend a little longer I belong among them, and once I have the answers I need, I can leave them to their lives with my tainted self no longer darkening this place.

#

When she handed me the basket, I could tell Alina had outdone herself just by how heavy it is. Inside are three loaves of bread, two bottles of wine, two links of cured sausage, and a large wedge of cheese. She’s determined to see me fed and has given me enough food for a family. It’s simple fare, but I’m sure it’s all quite good. I wish I could eat some of this. I hope Ekrem is hungry.

Night has fallen, but the town is still alive. Even beyond The Twisted Vine Tavern, I see some people are still out this Saturday night. The work for the week is done, and the villagers are out enjoying themselves before church tomorrow. Traditional life still thrives here, isolated from the growing mills and factories of the world the industrialists are building in the cities.

The curiosity shop is a two-story structure, with light spilling out a front window. The second story appears to be where Ekrem lives and that gives me pause. If this is his home, I cannot just enter unless he bids me to. The innkeeper lives in the inn also, but I had written Alina previously inquiring about a room only to receive a polite invitation in her response. I have not been invited here. I can feel the curse tugging at me, trying to slow my footsteps.

I walk to the front door, feeling how each footstep is heavier than the last. Instead of even trying to enter, I knock on the door.

There is silence.

I clear my throat even though I no longer breathe anymore and knock again, hoping no one notices me not entering an open business.

After a third knock, the door swings open. “I’m still open,” says Ekrem before he notices me.

“I thought it polite,” I offer, holding up the basket. “I would not wish to intrude.”

“The lights are on downstairs.”

“Indeed. May I come in?” I ask hopefully.

He looks at the basket and then at me. “You can’t enter unless I invite you in?”

It surprises me he knows, but it’s true. I clear my throat again, even though it’s just a gesture at this point. Now is the moment of trust. Does he see me as a threat? “That’s correct. Since this is your home, I am forbidden. Now if you would be so kind, I could use your help with finding out more about what I read in the journal.”

There’s a moment of hesitation before he swallows. “Come in and tell me what you need.”

The resistance vanishes, and with a nod to the leopard, I enter the Curiosity Shop. He shuts the door behind me, but Ekrem lingers by the door as I look around.

The store is stuffed with antiques and odds and ends. An oil painting of a lone house in the woods hangs against the wall above a table with fine china stacked neatly on it. An armoire sits against a different wall, with a woven rug leaning against it. On another table is a basket of old wooden toys next to some dusty books that appear to be primers almost as old as I am. Various lamps are scattered about. Nearly every square inch of this room is covered with things and trying to take it all in is overwhelming.

“Is there a place I can set the basket down?”

“In the back,” says the leopard, finally leaving the safety of the door behind. “I’ll show you.”

I watch the tension in his tail as he walks past me. “I make you nervous, I see.”

He pauses and turns around to look at me, truly look at me. He is wearing an ascot around his neck, and he touches it with a bit of apprehension. “A bit. I’ve been thinking about this morning, and I realize I was perhaps rash in my enthusiasm.”

There is a moment of silence, and I can hear his heart beating. He’s within striking range, and I did not eat last night. The urge is always worse when I’m hungry.

“I know you’ve given up the safety of your house by inviting me in, but if I wanted to bite you, I would have done that this morning,” I offer, pushing down that cursed desire to sink my fangs into his neck. “I trusted you this morning not to send someone for me, so now I’m asking you to trust me. You have nothing to fear from me.”

He bobs his head in acknowledgment. Whether my words reassured him or not, I can’t be sure. “I know, but I did not expect to see you again,” he says, resuming his walk through the store into the back room.

“The diary you brought proved to be far more interesting than I thought it would be. It has given me more questions to ask than answers.”

“What type of questions?”

I’m unsure how much I want to say right now. I don’t know how much of it Ekrem read either. “It covers only part of Katarina life. I still do not know what happened to my sister’s kit. There’s at least one other volume to her diary.”

“Ahh, I didn’t realize it wasn’t complete.” He frowns, and his whiskers twitch.

“Would it be here?” I ask hopefully, as we enter the back of the store.

Ekrem chuckles. “Maybe.”

I want to ask why he says maybe, but just walking into the back I can see why. Shelves are overflowing with goods. Old books, china, tools, knives, it’s all here and packed up in a disorganized chaos that gives me pause. The light doesn’t even reach the back of the stacks. There’s also the smell of old wood and dust, so much dust. I think I’ve seen tombs cleaner.

The leopard gives me a sheepish grin. “I inherited the store a few years ago and have tried to bring some order to this mess, but it’s hard. I occasionally find stuff I didn’t realize I had in here, so it’s possible it’s somewhere I just haven’t looked. The diary I did find was here when I got the store.”

I look over the room. “Well, it’s just one room.”

“Oh, you haven’t seen the basement. It’s full of so much stuff. I can barely make heads or tails of it.”

There’s no place to even put this basket down except on his desk, which shows some organization, perhaps the only calm in this sea of stuff. On it, a letter is sitting, the ink still fresh, still shimmering in the light of a small oil lamp. The only clear path in the room goes past it toward the stairs in the back. The only other part of the room free of wares is the space near the small stove for heating in winter.

“This is…”

“Chaotic, I know.” He takes a deep breath. “Come, upstairs is better. “I’ve managed to get the mess upstairs tamed.”

“After you,” I say.

The leopard picks up a lantern and lights it before he leads me up a staircase, carefully holding his tail so as not to knock over any of the goods stacked on one side. Upstairs, though, things are much less cramped. The roof slopes in, but the two rooms are not as cluttered, and the space is lived in with only the general mess of life taking up space.

One room is a bedroom with a large four-poster bed. The door to the hallway is open, and sheets are scattered on the bed. The other is a living space with a hearth, a table, and a chaise next to a bookcase. Ekrem picks up a few old broadsheets off a table and gestures for me to put the food down there. “Sorry, it’s not much, but it’s home.”

I set the food down and look around the space with its rustic furniture, although I can see a few fancier items have made their way up here. There is a stove to provide warmth in the winter and cabinets for dishes. There are more books here too, and this feels homey. A window to look out of the front and a dormer window on one side that must catch the light of day well.

He squeezes his paws. “I don’t get much company outside of business, so you must excuse the mess.”

“It’s fine,” I say. “If we can’t find the other diary, perhaps there are some others just as old that contain what I seek.”

“I’m sure, but do you have time to read all of those?”

“When you’re me, all you’ve got is time.”

“I thought you wanted to return to Vienna,” he says, looking in the basket I brought.

I shrug. “I want closure. There’s nothing really for me back in Vienna, but there’s nothing for me anywhere, so I hang around the shadows and try not to get noticed.”

“I know the feeling,” he says, going to fetch dishes. He pulls out two plates from a cupboard before pausing. “You don’t eat anything, do you?”

I shake my head. “No, but a glass for the wine would be nice.”

He nods. “It is quite the haul.”

“It is. Alina is too generous, and I don’t know how to keep her from trying either. If she keeps at this, she’s going to draw attention to the fact I can’t eat food. The worst part is her cooking does indeed look wonderful.”

“It’s great. It’s better than what I can do here, and after a long day, I prefer taking my meals there.”

“Makes sense. The Twisted Vine is a very lively tavern, and I’m sure the company is good.”

“It’s decent. My uncle owned this store before me, and I don’t think he was particularly well-liked. It’s taken me a few years to get people to warm up to me.” He sets down the glasses and opens one of the bottles to pour us some wine. “You aren’t going to mind if I eat, are you?”

“No, no, go ahead and eat. It’s something I miss, but I’m mostly over it. I need to get my own food later tonight.”

He gives me a sheepish look as he pulls out some of the cured sausage and one of the loaves of bread. “Please at least join me at the table,” he asks, and I feel compelled to sit as he prepares his meal. “Alina was quite generous.”

“Indeed. Why do you take most of your meals alone though, if you eat there so often?”

“Ah, you noticed that.”

“Both times I saw you eating, you were by yourself.”

“It just is. The village is small, and I’m a bit of an outsider. I didn’t grow up here, but my folks aren’t too far away.”

“You still have family here.”

He takes a bite of sausage and chews before responding. “I did, and I visited Strasek as a kid. It just worked out that way. Not many paid much attention, and I tend to be busy with the store. It takes up most of my time. I’ve more been around than a part of the village life. People know me, but I keep to myself.”

“That’s lonely for the living,” I remark.

“Ha! Like you don’t look much different from me.”

“Looks can be deceiving. I used to be quite the dashing fox.”

“You still are,” he says.

I can feel my ears reddening a little. “Well, not like I was.”

“How were you dashing?”

“I was adventurous, playful, alive… now I’m just here.”

I feel the hand on my paw again. “I’m sorry for what happened to you.”

Has anyone ever felt for me since the change? I know my parents and sister did, but I was too stupid to seek them out. Too afraid. I cough in what is a truly living motion. “It’s been hard, but if you help me, I can find closure to this cursed journey.”

“Of course.”

His hand is still on mine, warm, unlike my own. I go to pull it back, but he holds on, wrapping his digits around my own. “You don’t have to be so compassionate for me. I’ve done things,” I say.

“Would you do them again?” he asks cautiously. He was relaxing around me, but now I can see his guard has gone back up.

“God, no. I couldn’t control it then. I was just hungry. The hunter in the shadows. Those days have haunted me for a long time.”

He searches my features. “What changed things for you?”

I take a deep breath. “I was up to my old hunting tricks, and I met people while stalking a meal who thought I was just an eccentric. There were too many of them to take them on, and I let them carry me along that night as their newfound friend. They were drunk, but in that moment, I was still alive. It made me remember, and it stayed my fangs. I realized then how much of life I was missing out on. I decided that night to drink of life’s goodness, not of its blood. Vienna has always been home to music, and I enjoyed some of the great symphonies there conducted by those who wrote them. Unfortunately, age comes for people; when you don’t age, you have to go elsewhere after a point, or they’ll notice. I only returned to Vienna a few years ago.”

“That’s very isolating,” he says before he sips some of the wine with his free paw.

“It is, but you see things you can’t with a shorter life. I’ve watched how things have progressed and the birth and dissolution of empires.” I flick my fingers. “You can let go now.”

His ears flick back, and he pulls away. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’s just the most physical contact I’ve had in… well since I stopped feeding on sentient life.”

“Do you not live?” he asks me earnestly.

I’m taken aback by that. “What living can I do?”

He gets up and walks over to me. “Whatever living you want.”

I study the leopard leaning against the table, his lithe frame. “What you suggest is what got me in trouble a hundred years ago.”

“You’re the one who told me to get naked. Plus, I saw you parading around your room in the inn.”

I place a hand on my chest. “You caught me indisposed.”

“Perhaps, but I know a man like you when I see one. You made no effort to dress.”

Indeed, I had not. He got me there. I hadn’t even considered it when I knew he posed no threat to me. “Perhaps that was a bit forward of me.”

He quirks an eyebrow.

“Well, it was. Just because I’ve lived over a hundred years doesn’t mean I’m good with company anymore. You forget things.”

“Clothing is an odd thing to forget,” he says coyly.

This one is a bit of a tease, and I have not been teased in so long. “Is that what sets you apart from the village?”

He chuckles. “It is one of the things yes. Strasek is still a small town.”

“Oh, I remember. People get in your business when they shouldn’t, but that doesn’t stop people from pursuing their desires.”

“Indeed. Forgive me if I am too forward. You have other concerns.”

“If that’s what you want…” I pause to consider for a moment, “then get naked.”

He blinks at me, and he slowly reaches down to undo one of the buttons on his vest. “And if I do?”

That’s a good question. It sounds fun, but what is desire to me anymore? What can I hope for in this world when all I can do is take from and corrupt the people I know?

“I don’t know,” I say softly.

He reaches up to run a paw across my face. “You do not love anymore?”

“What is there to love?”

He searches my face, looking at me carefully. “Life itself. How could you let yourself survive for a hundred years and refuse to live?”

My ears fall. “I know the answer to that question, and yet I don’t know the answer to that question. I am—” I falter, unsure what to say about myself. “I am confused as to what counts as living anymore,” I say finally. His head tilts, and I take one of his paws, bringing it up to my chest. “My heart is still now. My body is cold. It is only the curse itself that animates me.”

“And are you just a curse and nothing more?” Ekrem asks me.

My ears are pinned back, and in that moment, I see myself and my years in the darkness behind me, and the leopard in front of me. My resolve solidifies then. “No.” My free paw clenches. “I can be more.”

He smiles then, warmly, and I can almost feel the sun on his golden fur with the warmth of it. “Good.”

“So, to repeat my earlier command, take your clothes off, please, and I’ll show you how I can be more.”

“No,” he says. “Take yours off and show me you won’t bite first.”

I flick my tail and make a big show of considering before I stand up and start to slowly undress, first removing my coat and then my vest, slowly undoing each button to see how he reacts. When I am down to just my shirt and pants, I pause and look to see how he responds.

“Go on,” he says.

I nod and undo the buttons of my shirt and let it drop before undoing my belt and taking off my pants. “Well, I have nothing left to hide.”

“Au contraire, your sheath still hides the real jewel.”

“Present me with something worthy of it showing, and you’ll know the entire length intimately.” I lick my fangs.

He undoes his vest and pulls off the ascot around his neck. The fur there is matted from the fabric, but I can see where I would need to bite to end this leopard, but what I’m going to stick him with isn’t my fangs.

“Better,” I whisper, feeling a stirring I have not felt in a long, long time.

“Let me help,’ he says, getting down on his knees and burying his face in my crotch. He pauses when he realizes my body really no longer has the warmth of a living being, and I expect this to be over then as he glances up at me.

“I’m sorry,” I say, trying to pull away from him, but he grips me, and I can feel his claws dig into my side.

“No,” he says and then there is a raspy tongue on my tip, and in that exact moment, I am doomed to be under his spell. Any power I might have held over him is gone, and this is his moment to play me. There is warm breath again in places I never thought of it being, and I almost feel myself gasp as I harden then with a need once again found.

I quiver as he gently touches my shaft and takes it into his muzzle. I swear I can feel the sun upon me, not burning but warm like a pleasant summer day. Is it the spotted gold fur of the leopard or the intoxicating effect of arousal? I’m not sure, but I cannot stop myself from thrusting into the eager muzzle between my legs.

In my ears, I can hear his heart beating, the way he gasps around my shaft, and for a moment, I am just a fox with regular needs. My hunger is for Ekrem himself, and I can feel myself heading toward climax too fast.

When he breaks off and gets on the bed, I follow, entranced. He presents himself to me on all fours, ready and willing. My shaft is wet already, and since he offers no oil to make my entry easier, I take him as I am. He is tight around me and warm, while I am ice piercing him. Yet, in this coupling, I can feel a building heat as I find a slow rhythm and take him with my weight on his back.

Instinctively, my fangs close around his neck. He tenses, but I only nibble gently and playfully as I thrust into him. I always loved it when someone did this to me, and the way he bucks under me tells me he enjoys it also. In my haze of lust, he is my sun, and I the moon, only able to shine my light indirectly in the night.

Too soon, though, I feel him shiver under me, and he clenches down upon me. My knot has swollen, and I get a few more strokes going before I too climax, and he slowly collapses under me, tied together.

“I may have gotten carried away,” he pants. “We should use lubricant next time.”

I bark a laugh. “Sometimes, the moment just happens. Here, let me hold you,” I offer.

“Sure,” he says, and carefully I roll to the side. He remains tied to me, but my weight isn’t upon him. Together we lie there, spooning, and I absorb the scents of the leopard, the house, and the tangy scent of lovemaking. His breath is sharp next to me, and I listen to his pants.

“That was intense,” he says.

“I know,” I say, muzzle buried into the ruff of his neck. His fur is warm against me. I can still somehow taste the sun on his golden fur, and yet it does not burn. It feels warm, and for a moment, I swear the day has come. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Something you cannot understand. It was… it means a lot to me what we just did.”

His muzzle tilts up so he can try and catch a glance at me even though I’m behind him. “You’re a strange man.”

I bark out a laugh. “As I said, time had given me a different perspective with that many years behind me.”

“It sounds educating. You can accomplish things others cannot ever achieve in a single lifetime.”

My ears flick back. “Yes, but there’s a lot of doing nothing.”

He’s silent for a moment, thinking about something I can’t know. “Well, if you’ll help me, we’ll see if I can find the other journal. There’s still places I haven’t looked yet.”

I smile. “I’ve got the time if you do.” I can feel I have softened a little, but we’re still tied. “When we’re done here, of course.”

“It would be my pleasure.”

#

The store’s back room is indeed a maze that requires unpacking and repacking in order to go through the merchandise. We start there since Ekrem has a good idea where everything is and is easily able to find the old books in it. The basement will be a larger endeavor when we start on it.

Three hours in though, and we’ve found nothing of note. The few promising diaries we do encounter don’t seem to mention anything of use with a cursory glance. I’ll have to read them all to be sure, but even for someone with years on their side, it’s irritating. The book has to be somewhere.

“Are there any others?” I ask, picking up another book from a shelf in the back. It’s well past midnight, and I forgotten how many of these I’ve already skimmed.

“Not really. These things don’t sell, so I sit on them.”

Glancing at the book, the name at least is familiar to me. “This one could be promising.”

Ekrem is digging through a stack of leather-bound volumes stored in a wooden chest. “Then give it a look.”

I nod and walk over to his writing desk. “Mind if I sit?”

He glances up, whiskers dusty. “Be my guest. I moved everything to the side earlier.”

I sit down and push to the side the other couple books of interest we found earlier. By doing this, I accidently disturb his stack of business correspondence. When I do, I see the name of who he is writing, to who it is addressed to, Lorelei.

I freeze for a moment and then glance toward Ekrem. He’s still digging in the chest. I carefully pull out the letter and read it.  The ink is fresh, and it says everything I feared about the leopard.

“So you knew…”

He glances up at me. “I knew… oh fuck.” He sees me holding the letter.

I get up. “This is a trap, isn’t it?”

“No.”

I glance at the letter and read. “He’s arrived in town as you expected.”

Ekrem stands up. “It’s not that.”

I walk over to where he is. “That’s not what this letter says.”

He swallows but stands firm. “You’re not like she told me you would be.”

I get close to him and place my hand against the bookshelf to trap Ekrem there. “Listen to me and listen to me good. You live right now because I want you to live. Just because I can control my hunger doesn’t mean I don’t have it.”

He swallows, but stands firm. “You can’t do it. I already can see it’s not in you. Maybe it was, but it’s not in you anymore.”

“You think I’m a coward? I can feel the life inside of you,” I say, closing my eyes. “It calls to me. I can feel it. I need only to sink my fangs into you, and I could drink you dry, all of you. You would be far sweeter that way than the wine we drank earlier.”

He is silent, his breathing shallow. I can hear his blood in my ears, and the hunger gnaws at me since I did not feed last night. “I need only to give you a drop of my own essence after draining you to bind you to me as my thrall,” I whisper.

“Is that what he did to you?”

I open my eyes and shake my head. “He used the power to raise me, but he didn’t claim me. I do not know why. Maybe he didn’t understand what he was doing. I only learned years later how that works.”

“You raised someone yourself?”

“No. I met others like me. It was enlightening, but we have different ideas of what being a vampire entails. Now, what did Lorelei tell you?”

He looks at me, his whiskers twitch a little, but his eyes narrow. “That I was to tell her what you came here for.”

I growl. “So tonight was your way of keeping me busy?”

“No. I made my own opinions,” he says.

“Did you now?” I growl, getting close.

“It’s in the letter. If you wish to use my words against me, use them all.”

I look down at the letter in my other hand.

“At the end,” he whispers. “I was writing it when you arrived.”

I glance at the last paragraph and read. ”I watched his movements as you asked, and he told me he was going to Bucharest in the morning. I know—"

There’s nothing after that.

“I could tell you meant me no harm,” he says.

I let my arms fall. “Why did you plan to lie to Lorelei?”

“She told me you were evil and could not be trusted, but there’s nothing about you that’s evil. I can see that.”

I look down at my black paws. “I hate what I’ve become, but there is nothing I can do to change it. All I can do is control it.”

“Then let me help you. Is there no cure for this?”

I look up at him and study his face. He seems honest. “Why do you trust me?”

“Because I’ve seen real evil, and it’s not you. I have felt the corruption.”

I frown, confused. “What did you see?”

“I can’t be sure, but it may be the one who turned you.”