What If Men Were Written Like How Some Men Write About Women (Patreon)

I wanted to do a fun post here talking about the craft of writing. Obviously this comes from my perspectives on how I view literature, but I think the advice and commentary here is pretty universal.
As a guy, when I sit down to write about a woman, the last thing I think about is her breast size or how voluptuous she is.  Some might think this is just because I'm gay, but even when I start writing about a gay man in an erotic story, I don't sit down and fantasize about the dimensions of his dick or how it bobs when he walks, if it is erect. This is just not how I, as a writer, work. This is also not how I, as a writer, ever wish to work.

Yet it appears some people out there focus on the sexual aspects of their characters before they ever get to giving them personalities. It's not hard to find people talking about examples of male writers describing woman in their stories by how their breasts look. Soulful eyes, luscious lips, and pert nipples are the important parts of these woman. Brains and thought process? Not so much. And what do these characters want? Often a man to make their life feel complete. 

Now in an erotic story, you'd expect some of this, but the examples I see floating around social media aren't just from erotic stories. Hell, there is an entire subreddit for examples of this, and many of those examples hurt to read. Worse, many of these come from mainstream books.

Female readers are naturally tired of encountering this stuff.  Woman do not go  "boobing breastily" about but someone out there thinks they do. And the men in these stories? They certainly aren't described like this. But what if we wrote men like this? What if we broke down this barrier and embraced these hypersexual descriptions used for female characters and applied it to our male characters?

Well, I feel, it would look something like this:

He walked into the room, throbbing into the space in front of him, like a stallion unchained. Even the barista behind the espresso bar turned and stared as he walked up to the counter and ordered his latte, muscles silently rippling under his clothes. With a strength and need that could not be sated by coffee alone, he had to adjust twice to get comfortable waiting for his beverage. The patrons of the shop were so awed, they swore they could hear his balls clicking together like marbles when he walked out, the steaming hot beverage clutched like a small pen in his massive oven mitt hands.

Now is this bad? Personally, even though I wrote this example, I think so. Flesh does not ripple randomly, and a mans nuts do not clack together like marbles. I imagine it would be quite painful if they did.  I do not throb about as I go about my day to day activities. With this type of writing, we've left the realm of reality and entered into an overdone descriptive realm where everyone walks around hyper aware of their genitalia. Fiction is usually meant to entertain, and sometimes meant to arouse, but that doesn't mean we can't give our characters depth. It certainly doesn't mean we should take one gender and reduce them to purple prose about their physical aspects.

If you wouldn't write a guy like this, you shouldn't write a woman like this.