Birthday (Patreon)

I don’t really do anything big for my birthday and that hasn’t changed today, but I’d like to do something special for @tiffanie.marie who’s played a big role as an inspiration to me

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If you’ve been following me for a while you may already know that we’ve worked together a few times in the past. Earlier this year I saw that she was involved in an accident with an unknown future. Dancing is one of her passions and to see her in a state where she may never dance again really hit me hard. Two years ago I’ve developed anxiety over personal issues that led to depression and it got to the point where it began to affect me physically. I flew to LA to do some shoots thinking that I needed to get away but that came to a halt when my body went completely numb while driving on the highway followed by a visit to the ER after feeling like my heart was going to explode. I don’t really like seeing doctors but after trying to figure things out myself I really had no other choice. The prescriptions that I reluctantly took made me feel even worse and the anxiety slowly began to affect all of my senses. It felt like someone was messing with a voodoo of me somewhere. Things moving, things hurting and having the concentrate on breathing became a huge task. Doing basic simple things became difficult and the weird thing was conscious of it. I was uncomfortable staying at home and when I went outside everybody around me just felt overwhelming. Doing things that made me happy didn’t even crack a smile on my face. I could only feel fear, physical pain and confusion. After trying to do the things people recommend me to do and not seeing any changes I thought the only way out of it was not to breathe and exist anymore. That’s why current news of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain hit a tone in my heart. Maybe they had no one there for them or the people who were there just didn’t understand and gave up. I’m lucky to have my family around me but I didn’t know how to explain to them when things started to physically hurt or when I’d have “brain funk” so I’d just look at them and cry. Long story short I have it under control for the most part. I guess the lesson to be learned from this experience is to not take things for granted because anything can be taken from you at any given time.

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Even though we’re from different coasts and don’t communicate that much I always seem to see bravery from Tiffanie. Pursing her other passion which is photography and not going the traditional 9-5pm job route always leaves one uncertain of when you’ll get something in the piggy bank and that’s the situation I find myself now. And seeing her out of it due to the accident doesn’t help the situation either. It’s great seeing her back up on her feet now but hospital bills suck so I’d like to contribute and give the opportunity for people to take home a collaboration piece when we worked together last year. Seeing photos on Instagram is great but seeing them large and in print is pretty damn heart warming. I have a few 20"x30" Canvas Wraps in my room and I’m making two of them available for purchase ($100 each via DM). All proceeds will go towards the making of the canvas, shipping and of course to the always extra and sassy Tiffanie 

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