Chapter 82: Burning Bridges. (Patreon)

DOCS: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1skaPayOFC8PHEyoLkjzwqXLqICVFYTydfaDV65jIyUE/edit?usp=drive_link

New Chapter! Ah, June is over. But let's pretend that it's still Pride Month for the next few chapters. It's Pride 2 Months now, I decided.

Jokes aside. Happy Pride! Belated, but better late than never!

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I took a greedy gulp of air, once Moonwash finally allowed my lips to part with hers. I had almost dropped the both of us from high altitude, due to the intensity of it. And it wasn't like I was physically affected--My powers had long went past mortal limits!

Such a puny achievement was nothing in the face of her, so it seemed.

"Moonwash," I breathed her name, and her eyes that had never once left my face intensified further. There was a lot that I wanted to say, there was so much I didn't know how to even put into words. I really shouldn't be getting into any sort of relations right now of all times when my mind was in sheer utter disarray.

"I love you." I didn't think. I only felt a feeling that overshadowed the wrath. That was all I could ever hope to say.

"I love you too." Her response was short, contrite, and to the point. They echoed with every beat of my two hearts. I hovered in the air for a while, watching the world as the clouds above shifted, and creatures scurried in the forest below. I basked in the thrill and the calm that flowed inside of me in perfect harmony.

Eventually, I had to break the silence. My wings folded behind me, and I dropped down along with Moonwash who remained snug in my arms. She didn't even react as we fell, and while her mannerisms could be very hard to read, I knew her well enough to know that she was genuinely unbothered in this moment. 

The trust she showed warmed my two beating hearts.

My wings unfolded back to their full size just before we landed. I flapped them once, and then my feet gently touched upon solid ground. I set Moonwash back on her feet, and she almost didn't want us to ever separate. That was soo cute, and I just wanted to cuddle her forever.

"Oh Moonwash... there's so much I want to say. So much we need to discuss. But I can’t be making any big decisions right now. My mind is in chaos, and I cannot think straight, not even gay." I could not resist the pun. "I promise that we'll talk about it later, very soon, but I just need to focus on my evolution right now. Okay?"

"I understand," Moonwash readily agreed, just as she always did, but I felt that there was more. I waited patiently for what else she had to say. "I want to kiss you again," she finally settled on.

I laughed. At first energetically, then more kind and gentle. "Of course."

My friend smiled, and then cupped my face with both her hands.

Our lips touched, and Moonwash made sure to make this one kiss count. 

~~~

I found myself back in my mother's basement, and with a certain kiss playing over and over in my head. I carried my greatsword that had become so much lighter, and I swung it at the air in front of me. A strong breeze came, the wind sung upon the weight of my blade, and then nothing else happened. 

An argument that ultimately threw me out into the streets, a monster that ambushed us from above. 

I took a deep breath, then slashed again, but this time the force it produced was incomparable to before, for my arms had swung with the weight of all the pain that I wished to inflict upon the world. I was unsatisfied with hitting mere air, I wanted to go out there and decimate the true targets of my hate!

I breathed. I centered myself. My arm was in pain just from the sheer force of my own strike, but when had I ever shied away from mere agony? That was the path of a demon, that was the path for me.

And so I wrenched the wrath mana away from my blood, and into the world outside. I watched as the mana gathered in my palm, taking on an imaginary form like it was a living mass of energy. It roiled like a thundercloud, blazed like fire, and flowed like a twisting ocean storm. I couldn’t yet make it into a proper projectile even as my face contorted from the strain, so I tossed it as it was to the ground instead. The roiling mass of mana manifested as a fog-like energy that flowed way too quickly and eagerly across the ground. Anyone hit would’ve suffered grievous harm, but what surprised me most were the minute cracks that formed on the floor, especially around the initial impact site. The damage was far from severe, but I did not think the magic would be able to affect unliving stone at all. Certainly not to this extent.

I immediately ordered massive slabs of meat, which Granuel was only happy to provide, and I excitedly slammed my wrath magic into the dead pig while Moonwash watched. The meat warped upon contact with my attack as flesh twisted against itself and bones snapped in many unhealthy ways. The wrath could rot and dessicate, but it could also cause sheer destruction by forcing the opponent’s body to break. This was the enigmatic biomantic capabilities of curses, but applied only in the most harmful way. And it somehow worked, if very very inefficiently, against non-organic matter as well.

I fell in love for the second time that week.

~~~

“Are you ready, Haell?” Moonwash asked, and I couldn’t help but have my gaze be drawn to her lips.

“Absolutely,” I nodded.

“Okay.” She raised the dagger that she was holding. It was one that Moonwash had recently made for herself with her ever-improving skills. The plan was for me to control myself while–

“GGGAAAAAAHHH!!” I screamed. Moonwash had stabbed me. I was betrayed by my friend, my ally, my love. The treachery stung, wrath mana wrapped around me as I stood to my full height and prepared to lunge. This was the plan, it was my idea, I told her to do it. It was my fault, and mine alone. I should just destroy it all, because nothing ever mattered.

Boom!

My hooves stomped on the ground, resulting in a resounding crack. I stood there and did nothing else. 

“Are you okay?” Moonwash asked. She had not backed away even once. This was why I asked her to be here, instead of anyone else. This was why I loved her.

“Moonwash I…” I began, and I lost myself again in the way she stared back at me. “Yeah. I’m good.”

Really, I wanted someone else for this, at least at first. I was worried that I might rampage after all, even if Elfrafim was watching us from the fringes of the basement. I just didn’t want to ever risk hurting Moonwash. But there was also no one else I trusted more. There was no one else I’d rather stab a dagger through my heart.

“Again.”

The training continued. The rage became a constant. The constant became a routine, and that routine became numb.

So what if I was in pain? So what if that made me angry? Such trivialities were far from enough to rob me of my freedom.

~~~

I had gathered here today; my parents, Moonwash, Astan, and Elfrafim. We all sat in a perfect circle in the middle of my room.

“Squaak!!” Astan helpfully added, and I took that as my cue to begin.

From the [Blood Heart] to the [Magnetizer] to a second [Ritualizer Brain], I began to voice the absurd amount of Mutations that I had, and this was just the condensed version that contained the ones I was most interested in! Somehow, there were even more options unlocked compared to last time, and I could even precisely guide their evolution up to Level 10. That was huge!

“Oh! Oh! Try seeing if there’s something that can change your face!” My mom demanded.

That sounded like fun, but it wasn’t something I was seriously considering using a Mutation slot on. It might even ruin half the fun of having Moonwash dress me up. Still, I humored my mom, and I managed to find skin that would make me able to change colors like a chameleon, but with potentially far greater precision.

[Chromatophore Skin.]

“How would having a different kind of skin even work?” I asked aloud. I focused on the Mutation, I really dug deep… towards myself and how I may change. Having two types of skin could apparently conflict with each other depending on how they were implemented. I could have them layered, which could cause some unforeseen problems. They could mix, and potentially merge into a new Mutation altogether, but that would create a risky amalgamation. Or I could just have them cover different parts of my body.

I was quite happy with the skin I had in this regard. Sure, I only needed a few spots to pull out my mana from, but I got the feeling that diminishing the amount of demon skin could cause some problems. That was part of why goblins were so ugly after all. The goblin I and Moonwash created a long time ago had smooth skin after all, instead of the usual warty mess goblins had. Their skin could not allow mana to escape properly, and thus their flesh suffered from overexposure.

Additionally, I already had armor. Growing scales or such would be nice, but they would actually be lower quality than what I could have Moonwash make. I couldn’t typically boost durability with curse-aligned magic after all, wrath or otherwise. So I’d be stuck with the equivalent of level 20 garbage.

“How about something for escape?” My dad asked next, and there were plenty of options. From some sort of spring that could launch me away, to a smoke cloud like the fart of an octopus but on air. The latter Mutation would require me to bare my ass like a baboon, but I did not mention that part when I realized it.

Those Mutations were all certainly useful, but I already had my wings, and I could run super fast if I wanted. I already got escape covered, and my ass was also covered. It was a posterior clad in steel and leather. No wait, not in that way!

We continued to chat and debate about my many options. Moonwash wanted to know all of them, and Elfrafim wasn’t far behind in writing down everything. She even found the time to tell me that my information was worth a lot, so if I was still keeping score then I should stop, otherwise she might be the one that would have to pay the evil tax collector. 

That was fair. I did understand. I shouldn’t devalue what I was worth.

I was a fucking demon.

“I’ll have the taxman collect your debt later.” I laughed at the sour face that she made.

~~~

After… entire days of reviewing the Mutations, I was finally ready to choose what I wanted. My folks wanted to know all the new Mutations, and they even pestered me for a lot of the old ones. It took a long time to consult the instinctive feeling they each gave, and then translate it for my audience, but it was admittedly fun. I enjoyed discovering these new possibilities, powers that I may have if I only wished for it. From an improved nervous system, to an entirely new brain, there was a whole host of elements I could potentially get, and I was already considering what I wanted for my next evolution!

This whole process had admittedly gave me decision paralysis, but now the decisions had been made. I had committed to three new Mutations.

[Would you like to Obtain the Mutation: Fire Heart?]

[Warning: This Mutation will be inherited by all Demons.]

[Yes / No?]

[Would you like to Obtain the Mutation: Extradimensional Blood Storage?]

[Yes / No?]

[Would you like to Obtain the Mutation: Memory Core?]

[Yes / No?]

There was no need for second thoughts, for I had already gone up to a hundredth thought and more. The decision was final.

Yes.

[Beginning Process…]

I tilted my head, and then my perception of the world disappeared. No longer was I a demon, not even was I a human, nor any sort of being that I could recognize. I was a heart, a gem, a dimensional storage. 

Panic thrummed through me, but I quickly settled myself back down. The unending wrath was not present here. A slight nudge of my will then confirmed my suspicions.

This was the space where I could make use of my Demon Harbinger. It was the place where I could decide on how my Mutations would mature, all the way to level 10.

I started with the easiest one first. I’d already theorized with my friends and family about how this selection might work, and what I wanted out of it. The other Mutations faded from my perception as I embodied the Extradimensional Blood Storage. 

I was a simple solid growth floating in the void. My body was a plastic-like substance more complex than anything. I was an entirely new dimension. 

My eyes were opened to my new profound existence. Within my walls was a new reality with its own rules, one that could only reliably sustain blood. I could try to cheat it, I could try to cram in other things inside of me, and it would work. But they would fray at my power, it would take more of my capacity to hold them. The nebulous concept of blood was what bound my existence together.

But that doesn’t have to be the case. 

I understood what I was, now I had to understand what I could be. I could broaden my horizons and accept other sorts of substances. I could gain the ability to accept any liquid that was once part of a creature, or I could even learn how to store any liquid at all. Alternatively, I could further specialize myself, allowing for more storage. I was able to narrow it down to only the red kind of blood, or I could even limit myself to accepting only demon blood in exchange for more space.

That… that was tempting. It was amazing. I loved it. 

The only problem was how a demon was defined. I would never cease to be a demon, but did this Mutation agree with me on what was a demon? Would it have worked for an imp, for example? Would it still work for whatever demonic creature I would evolve into next? The Demon Harbinger soul feat had all but confirmed that this was not the end. I would change and evolve many more times in the future.

I stayed there just like that, for a good while. I didn’t know how time flowed outside while I was in this state, but my loved ones would keep me safe. Even if it took years, they would feed me, heal me, sustain me. And so I examined every part of myself, every part of the Extradimensional Blood Storage, and what I found was that at the very least, an imp was indeed considered to be a demon.

It was impossible to determine the same thing for my next evolutions, for they didn’t exist just yet, but this would have to be enough confirmation. 

I took the risk, and locked it in that I wanted my extradimensional storage to only accept demon blood.

I felt myself become unable to change like I once could. 

~~~

After the blood storage, I shifted my view again and became a memory core. My plan for this one was more complex as there were two abilities that I very much wanted. One was a way to have it save a sort of template for my body that could allow me to fully recover from any non-lethal would. The other goal was to get a very good playback of my memories that would allow me to train better, sort of like getting my pattern-recognizing brain back. Humans had a pretty good one there, I had to admit. It’s why Therick managed to beat me in pure swordsmanship!

I dove into what I could do as a memory core, and as I suspected the template for my full body was already there. The problem was the delivery mechanism, as it was only my brain that could extract that data, therefore I made it so that information could radiate outwards, through my flesh, through my nerves, and then every part of my body. Now I would naturally heal to my full form no matter what happened.

So long as I survived, of course. 

That took a lot of the growth I could do up to Level 10, but I found that I still had a slight capacity for more, so I morphed my memory core self into a form that could handle playbacks just a little bit better. It wasn’t nearly good enough, but it was a start, and I hoped that I could get an evolution related to it at level 20.

~~~

I was a heart. A heart that was on fire. The mana burned, but it was not painful. 

From here I could grow, and I already knew from which direction I wanted. For how could I be a proper demon without fucking hellfire!?

I shifted my form, I thought of all the suffering and agony of the fiery underworld. A world of sin, of debauchery, of chaos. But what effect in specific did I wish to impart upon my foes?

It was not to torture them, it was not to bewitch them, it was not any of those things. 

I wanted one thing, and one thing only, and that was to fucking kill.

And so it was, that the infernal heart that was me, became a monster that sought only to consume all life.

[Have you made your decision?]

Yes.

[You have obtained the following Mutations:]

[Extradimensional Demon Blood Storage - A crystalline organ that contains a separate dimension. This dimension is very specialized for storing demon blood.]

[Memory Core - A crystalline organ that can store memories and information.]

[Infernal Heart - The heart of a being that wishes to burn away all life. Pumps Infernal Mana into your blood.]

With a disorientating suddenness, I transformed back into a demon. No, I had never actually changed.

I had no time to appreciate the novelty of the experience however, for I felt the magic of the world connect to myself now that I knew what I was looking for. I felt like I was back in the evolutionary space, as a sort of… tunnel in the boundary was created. Some other force inside me blossomed into life, and it readily accepted the help offered by the world itself.

My innards shifted, in a sensation that was more weird than painful. The Memory Core formed in the lower part of my torso, just by the spine. My mind blanked out for a moment, and then I could feel just in the corner of my perception, a new set of memories that I knew were my own. 

The Extra-Dimensional Blood Storage then coalesced into existence just below my hearts. Instinctively, I knew how to use it. Blood flowed into the new organ, and then flowed out. I could choose just how much to take, and how much to give. The Mutation was capable of storing far more blood than what my body could hold.

And then the last Mutation formed, the one that would be inherited by all of demonkind. I shivered as the flesh within my chest shifted, and then I jolted once it was created.

The first pump brought a burning searing pain. The Heat was agonizing, I hated my own flesh, I wanted to tear it apart! But I held those urges in check, for what else had I been training for?

The second pump brought with it the desires of the flame. It sought to spread, it sought to end all life, and I sought to do the same! It starts with my parents, with Moonwash, and with fucking Elfrafim! I’ll burn them all alive, and then I’ll begin my demonic rampage!! 

The third pump directly reacted with the wrath mana within. My rage turned molten, the fire turned angry, and I screamed out in fury! The fire burned, the wrath tore at my sanity, and I had to inflict it all on someone else! The way they fed off each other was too much, and I must feed my instincts lest I destroy myself!

Better them than me.

The infernal mana surged through my blood, then out of my skin as I pointed at my mom. The small smattering of magic manifested into a burning flame hotter than anything else I’d ever produced, and then it shot toward my mother! Her eyes widened, but the woman still reacted with a gout of water that met my attack with an explosion of steam!

I was already moving before they could have any more time to think. I reached my father, and he instinctively guarded himself with his arms, but it was not enough to stave off my wrath! I swung my fists with more power than they could handle, and the man actually buckled!

Elfrafim came next, and I saw her rapid approach that I could not keep up with. I gritted my teeth and consumed my own blood as the magic in the air hugged me in a tight embrace. My body blurred forward with a crunch of pain, and it was enough to meet the elven woman’s grab with a fist of my own. Her arm was swatted away, my attack had found purchase…!

And then she immediately recovered and grabbed me anyway!

“Ggaaahh! Let me go!” I screamed into her face.

“Well, I want to! But calm down first!”

“NO!” I punched her in the mouth, using another mini ritual, but her other hand swiftly blurred sidewards and slapped my fist away. All further attempts only produced the same result!

“FUCK!” I growled, getting utterly frustrated with this elven woman. My wrath mana surged not within my flesh, but without, as I targeted Moonwash instead. A shadowy wave of the destructive magic shot towards my precious friend, only for Elfrafim to grab her staff and blow away most of it. But a few flecks remained, and some of them landed right on target! A small patch of skin on her right arm shriveled and then bled. She was hurt, and I felt enraged at both myself and her.

But Moonwash did not react. She only looked at me blandly.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM! YOU’RE FUCKING BLEEDING! SCREAM!!”

“No.”

Her reply was simple, and it provoked more enraged expletives from me.

But all too soon, the regret came as she calmly approached. She grabbed my face and looked straight into my eyes.

“In your past life, you bore through the pain of a million needles just to turn your skin red. They injected ink into your eyes, and your skull was split open in order to plant the horns that you desired. Is this,” she gestured at myself, though I knew that she was referring to that which lay within, flowing through my blood, “truly your limit?”

“I…” tears flowed freely through my eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“You did not answer the question.”

“I…” I shook my head. “No. No it’s not.”

I breathed, I relaxed my body, and then I calmed down. I allowed the burning pain and the molten rage to flow through my blood, but I did not lose myself to it. I sunk into a meditative pose, and then began to tame my new magical instincts.

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AN:

Ahahaha. Things went wrong. Don’t worry, I don’t plan on dragging this out. I know the similarities with just the most recent mini-arc, and I actually wanted to do them together from the start. I almost wanted to have Haell impulse buy her Mutations just to smooth the narrative along. The reason that I didn’t, couldn’t, is because that would be phenomenally stupid. I tried to come up with a plausible reason for Haell to impulse buy the infernal heart immediately, but I just can’t find a way around the fact that Haell isn’t that dumb.

So uh, congratulations Haell. You’re smart enough to not impulsively make life-changing decisions as big as this, especially when you know that your mind is currently not working in the best way. Really, I should start tagging this series as [Intelligent Main Character.] Clearly Haell’s wisdom knows no bounds.

Also also, yes. Goblins having smooth skin upon birth is a detail I'd long established in my mind. But I forgot to ever mention it! I did make a very major change to chapter 52 to include it.

The corpse jolted, bones cracked and shifted. Long minutes passed as the shape of a goblin was finally made. An hour later the creature stood, sparse pieces of unused biomass dropping to the floor or clinging to its smooth skin. 

See the underlined parts? That's all new content. I basically rewrote the entire chapter.

/sarcasm. Just in case that somehow didn't come through in text.