Press Your Luck 41 (Patreon)

The next afternoon, Harlow finished another cold shower, the memories of last night’s fun filled activities with Frank providing an unusual warmth against the freezing water as he sang along to the bubbly pop music blasting out of his phone’s speaker. Normally he would be disturbed by the acts he performed with another man but today…it didn’t seem like that big of a deal. Chalking it up to post-orgasmic bliss he decided to enjoy the feeling while it lasted and continued his morning routine, wrapping a towel around his breasts before wrapping his wet hair in another towel and brushing his teeth. Even now he continued to sing along with the music, or he did as best as he could with his mouth full. He no longer noticed the feminine lilt of his own voice as he sang or even spoke. And why would he when his internal monologue matched his spoken voice. If he thought about it and really tried, he could do a reasonable imitation of his former voice from muscle memory but he no longer had cause to do so.

Afterwards he washed his face with the many tubes of cleansers and wipes to remove any excess makeup that may remain in his pours. The routine had once been an unbearable annoyance but now it gave him something to do on autopilot while his mind woke from the long lost slumber.

While drying his long hair with the small hair dryer mounted on the wall beside the sink he stopped three times when the music suddenly paused on his phone. When it came back on he thought nothing of it and continued drying his hair. Only for a few minutes later for it to stop again. On the third time he managed to catch the phone when the music stopped once again as numbers scrolled across the top of the vibrating phone.

“Hiya! Hiya!” He cheered, in an unusually good mood as he answered the phone call.

“You sound like you’re in a good mood this morning.” The voice said on the other end of the phone.

“Val!” Some of the cheer went out of Harlow’s voice but his fake smile remained, “How’ve you been?” he asked, turning his phone’s speaker on and setting it on the countertop then grabbing a brush to brush out his hair.

“I’ve been…fine.” She hesitated, debating for a moment whether or not to tell Lucy about the issues she had been having over the last couple of months. Rumors had always followed Valerie that she was a slut who slept her way to straight A’s in high school and continued to do the same in college to climb her way onto the dean’s list. Rumor’s that simply were not true. However, lately she had been having more and more trouble focusing on coursework. She found her eye wandering over the student bodies around her and indeed her psych professor’s breasts. On Friday’s she dressed more casually for class, wearing a pair of “mom jeans” that inadvertently put her beautiful ass on display. And for the third Friday in a row Valerie had to leave class early to tend to herself. Pulling herself away from the memories she spoke again. “Lucy, we need to talk.”

“Duh, like, why else would you call?” Harlow giggled. ‘Val can be such an airhead sometimes.’

“I guess you’re right.” Val started to giggle back but caught herself, clearing her throat and continuing, “Look. To, like,...to put it simply Danny told me you called him.”

Harlow’s smile fell into a pout at the memory of his nightmare and waking up alone in a cold sweat in the dark motel room. “W-what did he say?”

“Just that you called and…” Valerie sighed.

“And what?” He asked, swapping the brush in his hand out for his phone.

“That you should move back in.”

“I didn’t say that!” Harlow snapped.

“You don’t want to move back in?”

“No! I mean, like, maybe but, like, I totally didn’t tell him that.”

“Lucy, is everything okay?”

“Huh? I’m fine.” Harlow shrugged. “Why?”

“I just wanted to check in.”

“Oh…okay.”

“I’ll let you go.”

“Wait!” Harlow all but yelled.

“What?”

“I mean, like, since you bring it up, like, I’ve been doing good and, like, I have, like, a job now.”

“That’s good. Where?”

“The Golden Nugget.”

“Another casino?”

“Yeah but, like, as a waitress.”

“That’s good…but, Lucy, do you really think that’s a good idea with your condition?”

“What condition?”

“Luce…you have a real problem gambling.”

“What? I so do not.”

Valerie sighed again, “Lucy, you need to accept this and get help.”

“Fine. If I do, like, then…I can come back, right?”

“And then what?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you want to get back together with Danny?”

“...” Harlow thought for a moment, twisting the fake engagement ring back and forth on his finger. He would be safer with Daniel that’s for sure. “Did he say he wanted to?”

“What if he did?” Before Lucy could answer Valerie interrupted, “What’s changed since you two broke up? You got a job and that’s good but that wasn’t why you two broke up. You have a serious problem that you need to deal with.”

Whatever Valerie said next washed over Harlow as he scrunched up the ends of the towel in his hands. If he had a problem how would he have any money for the motel?! No. He was doing great! He hadn’t gambled since he was with Daniel. If he had a problem, what little money he had before he met Rosemarie would have disappeared! He didn’t have an addiction. He didn’t have a gambling problem! He had a losing problem! He was lucky, even his dad said so! Sometimes your luck runs out, that's all but it always comes back. But you have to keep going or it never will. “We broke up because of you!” Harlow shouted, slamming his hand on the counter angrily, ibefore pouting at the small chip. “We were just fine until you butted in.”

“You–!” Valerie started to shout back but steeled herself. A future therapist shouldn’t lose her cool after all. “You were constantly cheating on my brother.”

“You made me do that!”

“I didn’t make you do anything with Harry. That was all you, sis.” Valerie said, unable to keep the bite out of her voice,“I let that all slide because you two weren’t really together. Were you?”

“No.” He said quietly, twisting the ring on his finger.

“So what do you really hope to get out of coming back?”

“Jefferson’s men are still looking for me!”

“So you just want to come back to use us, Danny, as a human shield?”

“No…I mean, like, not totally. I just…thought…” Harlow’s voice faded as he tried to find the words to say he missed the warmth. The warmth of not just the showers but the house, of Daniel’s arms, of even talking celebrity gossip with Valerie.

"Lucy,” Valerie said gently, “I know you’ve been through a lot, and not just recently but your past trauma, but just because your dad abandoned you and your mom doesn't give you the right to walk all over people and not care how they feel while you do it."

"My dad died!" Harlow shouted defensively. “He didn’t abandon us.”

‘She still believes that?’ Valerie sighed after a moment of silence, “He faked his death and ran away, Lucy.”

“You’re lying.” Harlow yelled, balling his fists up so hard his nails cut into his flesh.

“I wish I were. I truly do. As much as the truth hurts you now…I don’t want that happening to my brother. I love him too much to let you keep hurting him. He deserves someone who loves him.”

“I do love him!” The words just slipped out before Harlow even realized he had said them.

"Lucy...if you love him then you'd want what makes him happy. Even if that means letting him go."

Not listening, Harlow thinks 'Did I really just say that? Why did I say that? I don't love him, well I do. He is my best friend... he was before I fudged up... and God I miss his touch. Wait…do I love him?' Harlow bit his lip and quickly hung up the call.

"Lucy. Lucy? Are you still there?" Val asked after a long silence. “That’s just rude." She said, seeing Lucy had indeed hung up the phone.

Harlow tried to put the upsetting phone call behind him and finished dressing for work. But the entire ride to the casino Harlow couldn’t stop thinking about what she said. It was such an odd lie. She was always a bitch in high school. Her and her squad were always spreading rumors and giggling behind people’s backs. A small part of him  Valerie didn’t know what she was talking about. His dad loved him and his mom. He wouldn’t run out on her.

“Hey, girl.” Dianna said from behind the bar seeing Lucy walking up. Her cheerful voice dropping into one of concern when she noticed the pouting redhead, “Everything okay?”

“I’m fine.” Harlow lied as he leaned on the bar beside Dianna. His breasts squishing even more so in his glittery gold corset than it was a moment ago.

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay,” Dianna said. If she didn’t want to talk about it she wouldn’t probe her. At least not until they took their lunch break.“Well there’s–”

“It’s just, like, I don’t get why everybody’s gotta be so mean.” Harlow said, not even realizing he had interrupted the older woman.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s nothing.” This time Dianna waited. “Do girls ever stop being backstabbing jerks?”  Harlow swore.

“Is this about anyone in particular?” Dianna asked, arching an eyebrow.

“I have…had…have this friend.” Harlow pouted as he went back and forth in his own mind and verbally while picking up a shot glass. “I knew her in high school and we were never friends because, like, she was always spreading nasty rumors with her clique.” He said as he poured vodka into the glass. “But, like, I thought she’d grown out of that here lately. Only…”

“She hasn’t.” Dianna nodded, knowing too many women like Lucy described. “What did she say?”

Harlow threw back the shot with a frown, “She said my dad ran out on me and my mom. My dad who died when I was a kid!”

“What a bitch!” Dianna gasped and poured Lucy another shot.

“You said it, not me.” Harlow nodded, throwing the second shot back.

“Some girls just never leave high school mentally or emotionally. I don’t know why you were friends with a girl like that in the first place. But you need to cut her out of your life with the quickness.”

“I was dating her brother.” Harlow said, staring at the empty shot glass in his hands as he thought about his accidental proclamation earlier that afternoon. His nails shimmering with glittery gold nail polish.

“Oh.” Dianna placed her hand on Lucy’s. “Another good reason to be done with her. You don’t need toxic people like that in your life.” She took the glass from Lucy’s slender fingers and dropped it into the sink. “Right?” She asked while gently rubbing the younger girl’s arm, hoping to reassure her in some small way that she was not alone.

“Yeah.” Harlow nodded and placed his other hand on top of Dianna’s before giving her a small smile.

Dianna nodded back. Her sympathetic smile briefly falling as she began, “Not to pile on to your already rough day, but you’re working the main floor this week.”

“What? Why?”

“We all have to work the main floor from time to time."

"Yeah, I guess." Harlo reached for the vodka bottle again only for Dianna to snatch it away. “Meanie.” Harlow pouted.

For the rest of the night Harlow did his best to walk the main floor with a smile on his face and a sway in his hips and try to focus on getting as many tips as possible but by the end of the night Harlow discovered that his tips were considerably less. He needed to do something to fix this situation.

Carl sat behind his desk as usual for this time of night. Normally he would be arguing with distributors or tallying receipts from the week before, but this night he simply sat at his desk in silence with a glass of scotch in his hand. “Knock, knock.” Lucy cheered as she opened the door to his office. “Are you busy?”

“Incredibly.” Carl said, taking a drink from his glass, “Is there something you need, Lucy?” He continued when he saw the pout on the pretty girl’s face. She was a sweet girl but she lacked in the brains department.

Lucy closed the door behind her and sauntered into Carl’s office with a hungry smile on her face as her black skirt swayed with her hips. “I thought, like, we could talk about my schedule.” She said as she sat on a small corner of Carl’s desk that was clean of papers, flipping the end of her skirt up as she did to briefly flash him her bare ass.

Carl stared at the girl before answering, “I don’t handle the scheduling. You’ll have to talk to Dianna.”

“I did.” Lucy pouted.

“And what did she say?”

“She said,like, just because I messed up a couple of times last week but, like, I was just having an off day and I totally wouldn’t mess up again.”

“You had an off day…all week?” Lucy nodded. Carl sighed and rolled his chair back to one of the file cabinets in the corner. “You had six hundred dollars worth of returns.”

Lucy pouted, “I was distracted.”

“By what?” Carl shook his head, leafing through another file he noted that there was no write up for Lucy. Six hundred dollars worth of returns was certainly worth at least one write up. Hell, it was enough to get someone fired, but Dianna hadn’t reported it for some reason. Putting the files away Carl turned back to Lucy, “Honestly having to work the main floor can’t be that bad.”

“It’s not that it’s bad…I just, like, make less tips there.”

“Understandable. But if you show Dianna you’re okay I’m sure she’ll put you back in the high roller section.”

Harlow pouted, working the main floor was no different than working the high roller’s area. Except for the notable difference in the size of his tips. He needed to get out of Vegas, he needed to get out of his life as Lucy and to do that he required money. More money than he had or would make in a month working for Rosemarie and Carl. Especially when he’s working for less tips. But he knew a fun way to get more.

Biting her lip Lucy planted one glittering gold stiletto on Carl’s chair Lucy cooed and pulled him closer, “Can’t we, like, work something out?”

“Lucy…” Carl gasped, “I–”

“Shh, it’s just you and me.” She whispered as she shifted off of the desk, sitting down onto his lap, “I’m, like, aces at keeping secrets.” She giggled. “No one else will ever know.” She kissed his lips softly, feeling her penis twitching behind its synthetic prison as they kissed feverishly.

Carl kissed Lucy back, lifting her and himself out of the chair, squeezing her ass before he placed Lucy on the desk. Papers and glass scattered to the floor as the lovers embraced. Carl’s hand sliding under Lucy’s skirt. Breaking the kiss Carl began to kiss Lucy’s neck. Lucy gasped in delight as shivers ran down her spine. Eagerly awaiting the next kiss. Only it never came. Instead Carl quietly sobbed against Lucy’s neck. His hands that once groped and squeezed for purchase in Lucy’s delicate flesh now pushed her away.

“What’s wrong?” Lucy begged.

Carl sat back in his chair, his eyes wet from the tears he fought back, “I’m married.”

“...You think I’ll tell your wife? I won’t.” Lucy assured him.

“It doesn’t matter if you do…I’m leaving her.”

“You’re not, like, leaving her for me are you?”

He shook his head, “You’re a sweet girl but…no. This…this was something I should’ve done a long time ago.”

“Why?”

“Have you ever been in love?” The question hit Lucy like a punch in the stomach, “Have you ever loved someone you knew in your heart you didn’t deserve?”

Lucy frowned, “...Yes.”

“If you tell her or not it doesn’t matter. I’ll always know.” Carl picked up the glass and bottle, pouring some into the glass before taking a drink. “She used to be really sweet when we were dating. A cute, sweet, cheerleader and I was the big, dumb quarterback.”He poured some more into the glass and added, “Still am I guess."

“You’re not dumb.” Lucy said softly.

“I am.” He handed the glass to Lucy, “Tell me about your guy. Or girl.” He shrugged.

Lucy frowned, staring at the glass of scotch before speaking, “His name is Daniel.” She said and downed the contents.

For the next hour the two shared stories of their loves and what remained of the bottle of scotch. As sad as it made Harlow to think about, it was nice to be able to talk openly about how he loved Daniel and how much he enjoyed watching Daniel play football back in the day or how much he loved Daniel’s beautiful eyes. Even if he only just realized the truth.

Carl explained to Lucy that his wife was once the sweet girl he married right out of high school and for the first few years all was well. He never thought anything of it when she would max out one or three credit cards. It didn’t even bother him that he had to take a second job to keep up with her shopping. But the longer this went on the meaner she became. She would constantly accuse him of cheating and turn around and tell him he was lucky she stayed with someone so pathetic and ugly. Despite her using and mistreating him he still loved her.

After Carl and Lucy had finished sharing their woes Carl drove Harlow back to the motel where he was staying and as hard as he tried to sleep he simply could not. He knew he had to leave, after talking to Carl he realized that was the best choice for everyone, but he needed answers. And he wouldn’t be able to sleep until he got them.

It took a few tries to remember his Mom’s number off the top of his head in his state but he finally managed to get through to her.

“Hello?”

“Hey, are you okay?”

“I’m fine…who is this?”

“It’s me, LHarlow.”

“Harlow? You sound strange, are you okay?”

Harlow winced and cleared his throat. He had spent so much time speaking as Lucy it didn’t occur to him that wasn’t his real voice. “I’m fine.” It took a great effort to speak like Harlow again after all this time. “I’ve just been up all night. Mom…I need you to be, like, totally honest with me right now.” He shook his head, even sounding…mannish, he still spoke like the same airhead he had been trained to be. “I need you to tell me what happened to my dad.” Harlow’s throat suddenly felt much shorter than it once did as he tasted the bile of his empty stomach, “Cuz…because…, l…someone told me he…he faked his death.”

The line was silent for an eternity before his mother finally spoke again, “Who told you that?” He could hear the flint of her zippo lighter sparking on the other end.

“The Sanders.” The tears he had been fighting for so long came freely now. Already knowing the answer as the zippo shut with a clink. An act he had learned from an early age to be her most obvious tells. When the city banned smoking in casinos it turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

“Shit.” She swore, blowing out a heavy stream of cigarette smoke.

“So he did fake his death?”

“Your…your father was in a lot of trouble. He owed money all over town.”

“How?!” Harlow cried, wiping the tears off of his cheek, “He worked all the time…”

“No, baby. He…” she paused, rubbing the side of her temple with her thumb, “from the time you were three until he…until you were six he couldn’t keep a job for more than a month. As soon as he got paid he’d go down to the Bellagio and blow it all. It got so bad he was taking out loans from banks just to pay the mortgage on the house. Until…I guess you don’t remember the car accident? ”

“What car accident?”

“A couple of months before your father…before he left, a car ran a red light and hit my car. You were in the backseat at the time and…I was so scared that…but you were crying and nothing was broken. By the time the police showed up the driver had run away. That night he told me the truth. He didn’t just owe money to banks. He had borrowed money from every loan shark in town. The accident wasn’t an accident at all…they had sent a message to your father but by then he had dug a hole deep there was only one way out for us.”

“I can’t believe this…”

“I know, baby. It can be hard to completely change how you thought of someone.” For some reason the memory of his mother kicking her boyfriend out for flirting with Harlow flashed to his mind. “But that’s why I didn’t tell you. You had this image of your dad that was just too sweet…and I didn’t want to destroy that for you.”

“Is…is he still alive?” He asked, wiping the tears from his face and smearing his mascara, “Do you even know?”

“I don’t know.” She choked back her own tears as she continued, “I got a few letters over the years from various places to a p.o. box we set up but…I haven’t heard anything from him in over five years.”

The silence grew as Harlow tried to hold himself together. The man he idolized for so long, the man he never knew, was nothing but a lousy gambler like himself. It was almost funny if it wasn’t so sad. His dad wasn’t the man with a million plans after all. He had abandoned his wife and child. And Harlow had done the same to her, tossing her on a plane bound for Florida. “Mom?” His voice strained with effort, “What if…what if, like, there’s a way I can see you again but…you wouldn’t even recognize me?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like…I would look…and sound nothing like…Harlow.” he asked as he looked at himself in the mirror. His mascara was beyond ruined now. He would have to fix it later.

There was another pause before she responded, “No matter what you look like you’ll always be my son and I’ll always love you. I just want you to be safe.”

Lucy tore off a sheet of toilet paper and wiped a tear from her eye, “I love you too, mom.” she sniffed, “I have to go now.” her voice quivered as she moved to the bed in her pitiful room, “I’ll see you soon…I promise.” As soon as she hung up the phone another wave of sadness hit her and this time she did not fight the tears as they came. She missed her father, the man she knew and the man she didn’t. She missed Daniel. And it didn’t matter how old she was, right now she was just a scared and confused little girl who missed her mother.