Why I hide in closets (Patreon)

“Everyone gets killed in the shower. Don't you go to the movies? Psycho.  Dead in shower. The MExican in No country for Old Men. Dead in shower.  Michelle Pfeiffer in What Lies Beneath. Almost dead in shower, or in the  bath, anyway. But she did that thing with her toe and got out OD. Still  the shower, though...Glen Close in Fatal Attraction. Dead in shower.  John Travolta in Pulp Fiction. Very dead in shower. But never closets. I  can't think of anyone shot in a closet. This is why I hide in closets.”     
 ―       Derek B. Miller,     Norwegian by Night