Dream Come True - Page 14 (Patreon)

Hmm...this is based on a story that was submitted to the contest some time ago(i should start a new contest soon) which of course has a lot of "narration". I wonder if leaving ALL of it out was a good idea. I kinda feel like it wouldn't work with the way i want to the story to go, but at the same time a lot of things remain unexplained. Like why her tongue is stretching out and pulling up. It's a reflex of hers to keep him from being swallowed too fast.