On Writing with AI: Summer's Story, part 2a (Patreon)

Well, since people seemed to have enjoyed part one of this collaboration with the AI--and there's some interest in seeing how the process works--I thought I'd show some of the steps I take when working with the AI to write this story.

So: first, here's a cut-and-paste from the "story engine" Outline.  This is a 1700-word space in which it will create a full outline for your story, based on other information you've written, broken down into chapters.  However, I've completely re-written the outline.  Here it is:

"Chapter 2:

Across a series of flashbacks, alternating between the past and present, the difficulties of former male executive Lucas Anderson, in his disguise as Summer Allen, are explored. These flashbacks serve to present his strong, confident but also misogynistic past.  Beginning with a difficult day in the office, Lucas finds, one month into working at Vortex Creative, that the work repetitive and boring.  He is frustrated that no one takes him seriously.  Furthermore, the constant attention of male colleagues, the sexual innuendo and advances, grinds him down and leaves him exhausted.  Most of all, he finds working a subordinate role under his previous equal and rival, Eric Edwards, galling. One day, sitting alone at lunch, aware of the male gaze assessing and desiring his female persona, he remembers his previous life as Lucas Anderson.  As Lucas Anderson, he was a successful and ambitious man, Director of Marketing at international shoe company Excelsior!.  He led a luxurious life in London, England, living in a posh penthouse flat, and with an office located in a high-rise building with a stunning view of the City. However, Lucas was also known for his misogynistic behaviour, often exploiting and demeaning the women who work for him. He was tall, muscular, and carried an air of authority that made people around him uneasy, and with a reputation for getting his own way, often at the expense of others.  He was especially notorious with women, who were drawn in by his good looks and charming confidence, but often discarded once he's used them.  One evening, after an argument with a beautiful colleague who didn't want to put out for him after he bought her dinner, he stormed off, cutting down a side alley in London's east end.  There, Lucas accidentally witnessed a brutal murder committed by Tony Marchetti, a high-ranking mobster."

From this, I can get the AI to generate the "beats" for the story.  Below, you can see what the AI came up with.  Then, I'll show how I've rewritten it into something that half-way works.  

1. Begin the scene with a clear and concise description of the series of flashbacks that alternate between the past and present, exploring the difficulties of Lucas Anderson, a former male executive who now disguises himself as Summer Allen. (Driver: Exploration of Lucas's past as a powerful and misogynistic man and how it contrasts with his current life as a woman in witness protection.)

2. Use the flashbacks to present Lucas's strong, confident but also misogynistic past in a detailed and specific manner. (Focus: Lucas's internal struggle as he remembers his past life as a man and how it contrasts with his current life as a woman.)

3. Start with a detailed description of a difficult day in the office where Lucas finds the work repetitive and boring, and no one takes him seriously. (Focus: The challenges Lucas faces in his new workplace as a woman.)

4. Show in detail how the constant attention of male colleagues, sexual innuendo, and advances leave him exhausted. (Focus: The challenges Lucas faces in his new workplace as a woman.)

5. Highlight in detail how working in a subordinate role under his previous equal and rival, Eric Edwards, is galling, and provide specific examples. (Focus: The challenges Lucas faces in his new workplace as a woman.)

6. During a lunch break, show Lucas sitting alone and aware of the male gaze assessing and desiring his female persona, and describe the setting and atmosphere in detail. (Focus: The challenges Lucas faces in his new workplace as a woman.)

7. Use this moment to have Lucas remember his previous life as Lucas Anderson, a successful and ambitious man, Director of Marketing at international shoe company Excelsior!, and provide specific details about his job and lifestyle. (Driver: Exploration of Lucas's past as a powerful and misogynistic man and how it contrasts with his current life as a woman in witness protection.)

8. Show in detail how Lucas was known for his misogynistic behaviour, often exploiting and demeaning the women who work for him, and provide specific examples. (Driver: Exploration of Lucas's past as a powerful and misogynistic man and how it contrasts with his current life as a woman in witness protection.)

9. Describe Lucas's physical appearance in detail, including his height, build, and mannerisms that made people around him uneasy. (Focus: Lucas's internal struggle as he remembers his past life as a man and how it contrasts with his current life as a woman.)

10. Highlight in detail how Lucas had a reputation for getting his own way, often at the expense of others, and provide specific examples. (Driver: Exploration of Lucas's past as a powerful and misogynistic man and how it contrasts with his current life as a woman in witness protection.)

11. Show in detail how Lucas was especially notorious with women, who were drawn in by his good looks and charming confidence, but often discarded once he's used them, and provide specific examples. (Driver: Exploration of Lucas's past as a powerful and misogynistic man and how it contrasts with his current life as a woman in witness protection.)

12. End the scene with a detailed description of Lucas accidentally witnessing a brutal murder committed by Tony Marchetti, a high-ranking mobster, after an argument with a beautiful colleague who didn't want to put out for him after he bought her dinner, and provide specific details about the setting and atmosphere of the scene. (Guardrails: Avoid revealing any major plot points or spoilers.)

There's some interesting stuff in there, but you can also see how it's just mostly copied over from the summary.  If I tell it to generate a story off of this, it'll produce 3000 words of... stuff.  It'll be interesting, but not very good.  I'd show you, but I can't really afford to throw away 3000 words!  Instead, find below how I've rewritten the 'beats'. I've started to do this in pairs (1+2, then 3+4, etc....) because each pair is called a "stride" and each stride is used by the AI to generate a mini-chapter within the narrative of the overall chapter.  Structurally, each one is a minor complication, climax and resolution.

So, my "beat" rewrite is below:

[Setting is Summer's desk and cubicle in the open-space offices of Vortex Creative. Summer works for Vortex Creative, a minor advertising company across two floors, a subsidiary of Blue, a major international advertising and marketing corporation.]. Summer's place in the office is outside Eric Edwards' office. She is his personal assistant, essentially a secretary. She is dressed alluringly, in an outfit at the cusp of what could be considered professional. She is dressed this way because of Eric's many hints that he prefers his secretaries looking this way. Summer also knows that many of Eric's previous secretaries at his previous job have been fired for not maintaining the desired appearance.]

[Summer is really Lucas Anderson, formerly a male executive. He witnessed a murder, and is in disguise as Summer until he can testify in court. He is profoundly ashamed and embarrassed by his disguise, and constantly feels powerless and weak, especially in contrast to his previous life.]

[Lucas has been working at Vortex Creative for a month now in his disguise as Summer. He is settling into the job, but finds it demeaning and dull. He finds it especially galling working under Eric, his former male colleague at their previous job. Eric quit soon after Lucas went into witness protection, and took on the role of Office Director at Vortex Creative a few months past.]

[This chapter is a series of flashbacks, alternating between Summer/Lucas in the present, and moments from Lucas' past. These flashbacks juxtapose with the present to either emphasize how much his life has changed, or to demonstrate how much of a bastard and misogynist Lucas was as a man.]

1. [Show, don't tell.] [Write in third person limited, Lucas's point of view.] [Detailed description of Lucas dressed as Summer: female, sexy and alluring, sat at her desk outside Eric's office.] Introduce Lucas. Show Lucas working at his desk, as a secretary. Explore how bored he is by the job, and his growing sense of frustration at the menial and deferent job. (Driver: Exploration of Lucas's past as a successful but misogynistic man and how it contrasts with his current life as Summer Allen. Guardrails: Focus on Lucas's inner conflict and struggle as he remembers his past life as Lucas Anderson and how it affects his current life as Summer Allen.)

2. [Show, don't tell.] [Write in third person limited, Lucas's point of view.] A male colleague approaches Lucas's desk. The man is flirtatious. Lucas as Summer flirts in return. Demonstrate how comfortable he appears in his secret female role. Explore his inner conflict, which demonstrates his shame and humiliation confronted with male attention. Finish by showing his female colleague Rachel watching appraisingly, scornfully, and the anger he feels at being seen this way by a woman. (Driver: Exploration of Lucas's past as a successful but misogynistic man and how it contrasts with his current life as Summer Allen. Guardrails: Focus on Lucas's inner conflict and struggle as he remembers his past life as Lucas Anderson and how it affects his current life as Summer Allen.)

So, the question is: does this work?

Here's the AI's attempt based off of my reworking of the outline and the beats:

The office was stifling, the air heavy and stale. Summer fanned herself with a file, her silk blouse clinging to the damp skin of her chest. She sighed, adjusting the neckline to reveal more cleavage, and glanced over at Eric's office.

Through the glass walls, she could see him pacing, running a hand through his already tousled hair. His gaze flickered to her and she quickly looked away, a flush creeping over her cheeks.

"Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?"

Summer started at the voice by her elbow, nearly knocking over the coffee mug on her desk. She turned to find Mark, one of the junior copywriters, leaning against her cubicle wall. He'd become a daily visitor since Summer started at Vortex Creative a month ago, his grinning face and smarmy comments as inevitable as the coffees she fetched Eric--Mr Edwards, she corrected herself--throughout the day.  His eyes were locked on her chest, a lascivious grin spreading across his face.

She grimaced, tugging at her blouse again in a vain attempt at modesty. "Just you, I'm afraid." She regrets her choice of clothing,

Mark chuckled, resting a hand on her bare shoulder. His fingers were clammy against her skin. "Come on, don't be like that. How about we grab a drink after work?"

Summer swallowed hard, acutely aware of Eric watching them from his office. She shrugged off Mark's hand, smoothing her blouse. "Sorry, not interested."

"Playing hard to get, huh?" Mark leaned in closer, his breath hot and sour against her face. "I like that."

"She said no."

They both started at the sound of Eric's voice. He was standing in the entrance to his office, arms folded across his broad chest, eyes gleaming with barely restrained anger.

Mark's smirk faltered. "We were just talking."

"Get back to work," Eric growled. "Now."

Mark slunk away without another word. Eric turned to Summer, his expression softening. "Are you alright?"

Summer nodded mutely, her cheeks burning. She fiddled with the strap of her stiletto, unable to meet his gaze. The memory of his hands on her skin, his lips on her neck, flashed unbidden through her mind and she shuddered.

After a long moment, Eric sighed and retreated into his office, closing the door behind him. Summer released a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding, her heart pounding in her chest.

She hated this, all of it. The clothes, the men, their wandering eyes and grasping hands. But if she wanted to survive, she had no choice but to play along. Even if it killed her.

So.  There's something to work with here, but I wouldn't call this ready.  At this point, I'll get it to generate a few more times, stitch the best bits of each generation together, and then revise the whole thing.  Along the way, I'll get it to rewrite some bits - Sudowrite has a surprisingly good "rewrite" function that'll generate revised prose, some of it good, some of it not - until done.

I'd say at this point AI's no threat to 'real' writing - it still needs a lot of guidance and work.

Anyway, if you enjoyed me walking you through this, let me know!  And I'll show a bit more of the process before posting here the completed chapter 2 (and final revision of chapter 1).