Ramblings: On Book One (Patreon)

The first "book" of Constant is now up and complete on TGStorytime. I'd put off for years giving the old chapters a skim through and edit, probably because I knew it'd be a lot of time and effort. In my mind, I was always going to do it as part of the final edit once I read the final chapter or two of the whole story. But I'm glad I did it now. One, it's encouraging to see the traction it's gotten on TGStorytime, and I think it's drawn in a few new readers, and that's wonderful.

For me, moving forward though, it's been invaluable for reassessing some parts of the story. Fixing up all (well, most) of the inconsistencies needed to happen, and must for a far less jarring experience for new readers. (I'll need to roll those updated chapters out on FM at some point.) But it also revealed a few things to me. List incoming!

1. Chapters 1 and 2 are -rough-; it's amazing that people stick with the story beyond those opening chapters. By the end of chapter two, you can see I'm starting to find my groove; I think that final scene in front of the mirror still works pretty well. Overall, though, I think major editing will be necessary when the final rewrite happens.

2. Lost plotlines. Skimming through the whole thing revealed some plot threads that I really need to decide what to do with. Katherine and her past--specifically, the former controlling boyfriend she allowed to die, Steven--something ought to be done with that. I had a whole background thing written up about K and why she hates Steele so much, but never tapped into it; teasing that in somewhere would help develop her character, as she's been largely sidelined in Book 2 - a shame, as she's such a large presence in the first Book. There's also an oblique reference I'd completely forgotten about in Chapter 10: Sakura mentions that David was going to go looking for his mom, and there's something there worth developing. Sakura looms in the background as a counterpoint to Steele--the names create a nice balance, I think--but both characters are under-developed boogeymen in the shadows. I need to do more with that; but where?

3. Sci-Fi Worldbuilding: After my various writing breaks, I started to developing the sci-fi flavouring of Constant more, from about chapter 4 of Book 2 onwards. Some of that needs to be rolled backwards; not too much, necessarily, but more than what's there. I made a few minor edits, making the Honda Civic into an electric and hinting at some drone deliver and stuff, adding in the occasional tablet and mention of AI. But it probably needs a touch more. Though on the other hand, the lack of those details maybe adds to the grittiness of the first Book; I dunno. It's a balancing act.

4. Detail roll-back: This being my first time really editing a major work of fiction, I can see how important it is from the perspective of later chapters of looking in on the earlier ones. Some later details: Tahir, the favour David drew on to establish his new identity; the conversation between David and Steele in the office tower; some stuff about Persephone; details of the Clinic, Scooter and the Tank--all need a subtle rollback into earlier chapters, a reference here or there, maybe. Stuff for the edit.

5. That final scene. I still think the final fight works okay, though I'd write it very differently if I wrote it today. It's a bit overly long, maybe. But some of that dialogue! It needs a rework. Especially the final conversation with Steele, but also some of the flashbacks to Sakura. I think I can mine more out of those memories, so that'll be something to fix down the road.

6. Sakura timeline. I've put some background effort into David's 39-year timeline, and where it intersects with Sakura, and it's gotten a bit messy. In Book 1, I've got her as this martial arts teacher who takes David in and trains him, and ominously hints as other work she can do for him. But in Book 2--I think it's chapter 3 or 4--David tells Julia that Sakura first found him in the hospital when he was 8, after he got beaten up by some kids at school. These details don't match up; I need to clean that up. For all that, I pleased at how she comes off in Book 1--hopefully, it's clear to the reader that she's emotionally manipulative, essential grooming the young David into young soldier, which may go some way to explain why he's such an asshole.

7. Chapter 8 and Larry. I can dimly remember that back when i first wrote and published COnstant to FM, chapter 8 and 9 were a bit of a mess, to the extend that I ended up doing a major edit, collapsing the two into each other and reposting. You can see the story sort of slams into a wall once David reaches the Clinic and that I wasn't entirely sure what to do with him there. Being chased gives a story a wonderful momentum; safety, not so much. But "Larry" as this weird haunting figure doesn't really work. I like that it throws David off, so that he questions his instinct that something is wrong--but what was he detecting? The Clinic and what happens underground? Fosters, skulking around? I think something better could take Larry's place--but I don't know if I'll ever have the time for that.

8. An Assassin's Face. In the original release, after Fosters and his backup were killed, part of David's surgery turning him into Cindy involved having the dead female assassin's face sewn onto his. It's one reason why I made sure the fight scene involved his face being cut and pulped so badly. I think at the time of writing the world's first facial transplant had just taken place and I was taking inspiration from that. Well, I eventually excised that from the story--I don't think it makes much sense; but now I've got this second assassing floating around in the background. She's also there to delay K's arrival, I suppose, but I wonder if I could do more with her.

Anyway. There's more I could say but this ramble is already very rambly, so I'll leave it at that. I -think- I'm going to keep at the edits for now, and skim through the first interlude--which I fear may get entirely cut--and then the first four chapters of Book 2. I know chapter 1's going to be a bit of a nightmare. I never liked it; I started rewriting it a decade ago; and it's probably time to fix it properly.

Onwards! And as always, thank you for the continued support.