Journal Entry #8 (Patreon)

Dear Diary,

I don't even know where to begin. Tonight was supposed to be about letting loose, dancing, and forgetting about all the stresses of acting school. But instead, it turned into a nightmare I never imagined.

Lily convinced me to go to the club with her, promising a night of fun and excitement. And at first, it was just that. We danced, laughed, and for a moment, I forgot about all my worries. But then, everything changed.

Lily introduced me to this director she knew, and at first, I was excited. I thought maybe this was my chance, my big break. But as we talked, his comments took a turn that made my skin crawl. He started making inappropriate remarks, insinuating that if I wanted to make it in the industry, I'd have to do more than just act.

I was horrified, Diary. It felt like the ground was crumbling beneath me. And to make matters worse, Lily, my friend, didn't seem fazed by any of it. She just brushed it off, like it was no big deal, like it was just the way things are.

She even whispered to me, "This is how the business works, Wawchan. If you want to get ahead, you might have to give head." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Is this really what it takes to succeed in this world? Sacrificing my dignity and self-respect?

I felt sick to my stomach, Diary. I excused myself and rushed out of the club, tears streaming down my face. The city streets felt cold and unforgiving, a stark contrast to the warmth of friendship I thought I had found in Lily.

Now, I'm sitting in my apartment, feeling lost and broken. I thought pursuing my dreams would be about talent and hard work, not compromising my values and integrity. I don't know what to do, Diary. I'm scared and confused, and I feel like I'm standing at a crossroads with no clear path ahead.

Fluffington (my bed) feels like the only safe haven right now. I wish I could make sense of everything, but right now, all I can do is cry and wonder where I went wrong.

Feeling shattered and betrayed,

Wawchan