Gabriel - The Past (Patreon)

“He’s young, Reese. Very young.”

“How can you tell? Looks about as old as us.”

“I can still see his grace. He’s a fledgling. May have only had one or two jobs.  His wings have probably only just come in.”

“Weird sentence.”

“His grace is beautiful.  I wonder why he was cast aside. He doesn’t look tainted. A little bent around the edges, but that could be because of the fall.”

“He was cast aside because your Knowing is a megalomaniac who values pain far more than comfort.”

“You know that’s not true.”

“You know it is.”

“I will not have this argument with you again, Reese. I– Oh, is he waking? I can’t… Shhh… you’re safe. It’s all going to be okay. We’ve got you. We’ve got you.”

~~~~~

When Gabriel woke, it was to a starlit room. For a moment, he thought he was home, lying on one of the cots in the shared haven, staring into the cosmos and listening to the other celestials sing. When he shifted, he felt the scratch of a blanket across him and the chill from a nearby breeze. It carried with it the scent of something foul causing him to roll on his side and curl his knees to his chest. He was not home. He would never be home again. They had hung him over the precipice and recited his conviction before dropping him into the depths.

“Do you wish to have some water?”

Gabriel startled, sitting up in bed only to spy a slight man across the room with white blonde hair that shone like the moon.  There was a familiarity about him. A sickening sense of home that he shouldn’t desire. Because if this man was here, he had fallen too.

“Get away from me,” he rasped. “You are cast out from the gates. Exiled from the embrace. A monster now meant to rot outside the light of the Knowings glory.”

The man dipped his head in shame. “I am. But I just want to give you some water. Maybe something to eat.”

“I will take nothing from a degenerate monster as yourself” Gabriel snarled. He was a creature not meant for this world. The fallen dissipated into nothing, sinking down into the aching depths of the land to become nightmares that fueled the innocents dream.

“I understand that you are scared,” the man tried again, hands fluttering at his side. “I was scared too. But you need to take care of yourself. The madness–”

“Get out!” Gabriel roared.

The door to the room banged open, revealing a dark skinned man with black locks of hair that coiled around his ears. “Enough,” he said, looking directly at Gabriel. “I’ll throw your ass back out if you keep this shit up.”

“Reese, no. Don’t–”

“Elias, you wanted to help him. But if he’s going to treat you like shit then he can go drown back in the ocean that I dragged him from.” Storming over to the bed, the man named Reese loomed over Gabriel. “You fucked up, kid. You fell from the Knowing which might be the best thing that’s ever happened to you. And that man,” he pointed to Elias. “Is going to be able to help you navigate a life down here so you’re not drooling in your soup. But you keep berating him, and I’ll run you through myself.”

“You are human,” Gabriel said, pushing the blankets from him to get out of bed. “He has corrupted you. We are meant to protect but it is clear he has not done so. You do not understand our ways. You–”

“You don’t understand shit,” Reese said calmly. His arms were crossed over his chest, stance wide and poised for a fight.  “You understand what you were force-fed.  Now, make your choice, here and now. You want help? Or do you want to let that madness rot your brain. I don’t care either way.”

Gabriel was about to retaliate when Elias stood across the room. “I care,” he said. “He is just a child, Reese. You don't get to make these calls. Now, if you remain unhelpful, you can leave.”

The bigger man did not look pleased with the outcome and if it was anyone else, Gabriel suspect the results would be a very different conversation. Instead, Reese took a step back, leaning against the door frame, eyeing Gabriel with a look that said one wrong move and he was liable to snap.

Elias approached slowly, hands held where Gabriel could see them. “What is your name?”

He shouldn’t have answered. A name was sacred. You did not just give it to anyone. But, this was his brethren. A superior. And even if they were fallen, was he supposed to listen?  “Gabriel,” he said. Though he frowned at the sound of it. It didn’t sound like his name anymore. It didn’t have the lilting ring or the peace woven within its syllables. It felt flat now. “Gabriel,” he said again. Nothing. There was nothing.

“Gabriel,” Elias said with the same flat tone. “I am Elias. That is Reese. We are here to help you.  It looks as if you have fallen. Do you know why?”

Imperfection. There was something about him not being quite right. Or maybe that was his own thoughts swirling.  He couldn’t think of any reason to be here. He had received top merits for his previous jobs. He was helpful within the community. He prayed for far longer than his brothers and sisters.

“It has to be a mistake,” he said. “I wish to go home.”

“You can’t,” Reese said from the doorway.

“I’m sure if I just explained I could–”

“You came through a gate. I watched it close after you were shot through. Unless you know how to open them, you’re not going anywhere.”

A sticky, hot wetness started at the back of his neck.  It crawled across his skin sending white-hot shivers across his body as his chest seized into a vice.  His vision began to grow into a spotted mess and the roar of the ocean from far beyond swelled within his ears. It blocked the sounds of home. That was why he couldn’t see it. Everything here was loud. It smelled foul. It was not what the Knowing wished. This was clearly a test of some sort. A way for him to prove that he was better than what they perceived. And with each stabbing inhalation of air, Gabriel knew he deserved this. That the pain, the denial of comforts and home, would only bring him closer to the Knowing. It would be his salvation.

A pair of strong hands were on him, bending him in half. “Breathe,” Reese ordered. “You’re going to fucking pass out.”

Elias was fluttering somewhere in front of him, fussing as he retrieved water and a damp cloth. Gabriel could only laugh though. The pain that wracked him was unbearable.  When he returned to the Knowing, he would be strong.  He would be looked upon as someone who had endured. With a grin, Gabriel welcomed the pain.