Paper Moons Part 7 (Patreon)

“I’ll need to go get some herbs from the local chemist. I think there are a few, out-of-the-way things we could collect, that might help stem the madness a bit.  I hear there is a store at the end of Apothecary Lane that specializes in items that are a bit harder to procure.”

Reese nodded to me before opening up a particular cupboard that looked as if it were full of half drank whiskey and bourbon bottles.  Shoving them aside, I heard them clang around before he pulled forward a leather bag stained with oil. When he dropped it onto the table, I heard the sound of coin jingle within.

“Whatever you need,” he told me.

I stared at it with wide eyes. I was certain if I opened it, it would be more money than I had seen in my entire life. “If you have so much money…” I shook my head. “How have you not bought a cure for the madness yet. Surely someone has something that could help.”

He blinked at me. “Because I know nothing about it. I wouldn’t know if I was getting grifted. If someone sold me some shit that would kill Elias or Gabe instead.  But, that’s where you come in.” He raised a brow towards me. “You think you coming here last night was just so I could see what you could do? Needed to vet you. Needed to know I can trust you.”

I looked at him softly. “Why trust me though? You don’t even know me?”

The gaze he leveled on me was one that would stick with me for a long time coming.  It was the kind of look someone gave you when they were counting on you and for reasons unknown, I did not want to disappoint him. “Because it’s clear that you would put yourself in harms way for my boy and I appreciate that. I think it’s a fucking dumb move because it’s clear you can’t do anything but slap at someone, but I do appreciate the sentiment.” Turning, he grabbed a plate and loaded it up with breakfast. It was one of the few plates he had left.  “Now eat before you go.”

~~~~

Reese fed me far more than I thought I could possibly eat and I left his place patting my stomach and feeling almost sleepy with the amount of food I had just consumed.  A walk was probably going to do me some good after all of that.

It was not a long trip to Apothecary Alley but I took it a bit slower than I normally did, keeping my eyes peeled for more goblins.  After last night, I felt like I had a target on my back. I had my gloves on and my palms turned towards my thighs to hide any of the glow that may have pulsed as my grace was refilling.  Passing the three-tiered fountain that served as the focal point for this portion of the market, I stepped under the wisteria arch that led to the district, my shoes tapping against the clay colored cobblestone beneath my feet. The market always smelled fresh here. As if a soft Spring rain had just doused all the hanging pots of flowers and herbs that wrapped around each lantern.  They all hung in lines down the entirety of the alley, the soft diffused light from the lanterns peeking out between blooms of marigolds and purple pansies and soft silver leaves of lambs ear and pale ivy.  On either side of the alley, the shops were lit with the bright buttery light from the storefronts, their doors and windows open.  Bubbling cauldrons of stews and spits of fresh crackling meats hung suspended over large hearths while shop keeps packed their wares and sold their tinctures.  Most people were happy here. Their faces rosy and smiling. Their eyes dancing with light.  There was a certain amount of peace that was sequestered away in this alley that was far different from what I had seen from the rest of the market. Families existed here. Children played in the streets and most vendors, had brick and mortar shops as opposed to the stalls that littered nearly everywhere else.  You couldn’t help but smile when you entered this district alone.

But then there was the end of the alley.

The further through the alley you walked you could see signs of it. Nervous glances here and there.  Little ticks of the eyes as you kept on walking and refused to stop at one of the brightly lit buildings.  I tried to smile at most of them, hoping they wouldn’t remember my face.  I didn’t want them to think wrong of me but I knew that if I were to get something that wasn’t entirely on the sanctioned lists of the Velvet Guard, Lucinda Albright’s place was where I needed to be.

The entrance to her shop/home was a single stone arch with blue thistle growing up the sides.  I pushed at the wood gate, the slates of which were tied together with long locks of black hair.  Swallowing, I tried to remind myself to be brave. This is what a Graceling did, after all. They helped where others could not.

Stepping through, I made my way to the door, raising my hand to knock. But the door swung open on its own. The shop itself was dark and smelled of rye, a musty kind of earthen smell lingering in each corner.  It was far quieter in here than the bustle of the streets beyond and as I stepped through the shops lobby, I could hear each creak beneath the sole of my boot.

“Ah,” a voice said, startling me. I shrieked, turning to stare at a woman.  She had long black hair and deeply tanned skin. Her eyes were soft brown and piercing along with the sharp edges of her cheekbones.  “Graceling,” she said.  “How can I help you?”

My eyes ticked down to my hand as if I expected to see the glow of the shard through the black of my wool gloves. But there was nothing. Turning back to her, I curled my blessed hand close. “You know what I am?”

She smiled at me. I wouldn’t have said it was a cruel smile but it was not one that offered a lot of welcoming warmth.  “Your aurora,” she explained. “It shines with the light of the Knowing. Yet you do not have the eyes of a celestial. Ergo, Graceling. Don’t worry though,” she said, moving from the shadows, each step fluid, as if she and the dark were as one. “Many people claim to be aura readers and most are simple charlatans looking for coin.”

The woman was tall and willowy. She wore a simple shift of black with a gemed belt around her waist that held several swirling tonics.  Her hair hung in multiple braids down her back, each end tipped with a bone bead.  Rounding the counter, she stood behind it, a wall of questionable jars behind her.  “Lucinda Albright,” she introduced herself. “Again, I ask, how can I help. It is not often we see someone like you come to our end of the apothecary.”

“Someone like me?”

“Someone with good intentions,” she explained.

“What kind of intentions do you deal in?”

“Desperate and sometimes unkind.” She raised a brow. “Do I need to ask the question again?”

I shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut and knowing that I needed to not dwell here. “I’m sorry. I am looking for something for a celestial. A Fallen, in fact.  Madness is on the brink of their horizon and while I can help guide them through it, I have heard rumor that there may be certain herbs that can ease the transition. Or that can protect us while we work.”

The woman looked at me curiously, her eyes narrowing into slits. “Fallen are often not worth the effort, dear heart.”

“Maybe not but it is my duty to try.”

She looked at me. As if I was suddenly an enigma that was worth figuring out.  I didn’t like the gaze that she had turned upon me and had a suspicion that she would love nothing more than to use me as one of her spell components as well.  It was a risk continuing to stay in this shop, with her knowing what I was. But it was also one that I needed to take. It was doubtful that the other shops that lined the streets would have anything of the likes I spoke of.

“What direction would you like to go in then,” Lucinda asked after a moment. “Are you wishing for a hallucinogenic to take him through his madness and then guide him to the other side? Are you wishing for a sort of training tonic that will send him a zap each time the madness tries to take hold?”

“What?” I startled. “Of course not. Is that a thing?”

“Pain is a powerful motivator. Far more powerful than a lot of methods I’ve seen. It can train the brain not to take certain neural pathways.” She almost seemed bored by our conversation, her mind beginning to wander.

“No, I just… I wish to help him. That’s all. I wish to take away some of his pain.  I think he is a good man and I am concerned that when the madness takes hold that he will do things against his own accord. If I can help him continue to have a bit more clarity, I believe he could fight this.”

“So you are banking then on his strength and not the strength of anything else.”  I nodded. “He will die if you do that.”

I shifted in place. I didn’t want Gabriel to die. I knew I didn’t know him well but the last thing I wished for was his death. He had saved me, after all. I merely wanted him to feel as if he had some agency within this new life he must learn to navigate.  So many Fallen did not.

Across from me, Lucinda sighed with a roll of her eyes. “You are young,” she started. “You do not yet know what the Fallen are capable of.  It is better to put them out of their misery than let them continue on.”

I swallowed thickly, my cheeks heating with a sort of anger that I kept curled in my palms. “You won’t help me then?”

The woman opened her mouth to respond, but was interrupted.

“Mother.”

The voice was soft and hesitant and came from the top of a winding staircase that led to the rafters above.  Lucinda rolled her eyes, looking instantly irritated.

“Aren’t you supposed to be dusting, Hazel?”

Looking up, I saw the girl in question standing at the top of the steps.  She bit her bottom lip hesitantly. Dust and soot from the fire sprinkled across her cheeks, sending grey streaks through her pulled back hair. She looked young. Yet, the woman in front of me looked young as well. Far too young to have a daughter of that age.

“I am but I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation…”

“Ease dropping is more like it.”

“I’m sorry, mother. I just really think that we could help and–” the girl yelped as her mother raised a hand upwards. The girl rubbed at the back of her hand, the skin there suddenly looking red and burned.

“Pain,” Lucinda said with a smile. “It is a wonderful motivator.  Now, my suggestion to you would be this. Give the Fallen a hallucinogenic. If their mind is as strong as you claim it to be, they will navigate it just fine. If not, then they probably do not need to be within this world to begin with.  If you wish for a more effective tonic, the likes of which you will probably not be able to afford, I can do some research for you and hopefully come up with something. But I will need time and I will most likely need a few ingredients that are not readily available.  Or, you can turn and look elsewhere. I’m sure Mr. Vanhilick down the road will have some paltry little tonic to sell you.”

It didn’t sound right. A hallucinogenic to wander through an already maddening mind would only make the process worse. Even a depressant ran a high risk of making the receiver fall into patterns more detrimental than not.  And whatever spell she was speaking of felt like an effort to get more money than anything else.  Or perhaps, it was something that was merely said to test and see if I had the coin.

Glancing up towards the girl at the top of the stairs, I watched as she continued to rub her hand. I could call on her as well, but it was unclear whether she would be able to perform whatever idea she had. Not without her mother's help, at least. And part of me did wonder if asking her a more direct question would cause her more strife than it was worth.

[[Leave. I don’t think you can help me]]

[[Show Lucinda the bag of coins and see if that changes what she is saying]]

[[Ask the girl up top for help instead]]