Gabriel Post Chapter Eight (Patreon)

A/N: A bit of a different format. I felt after chapter eight it was more important to have another follow up scene between Gabriel and the MC. And since I am American and it is the time of giving, I give you a short that is twice the normal length of what I usually do, and a slightly steamy ending. Enjoy!

It had been days. Three, to be exact. I had not seen Gabriel since the night of Elias.  Since we had gone back to his place and sat in a bare living room, listening to Reese sing loudly as he destroyed the kitchen but made quite possibly the best meal I had had since arriving in the Night market.  That evening, Gabriel had walked me back to the apothecary and kissed me softly on the lips.  I had not seen him since. Several times, I had tried to contact him, going so far as to making deliveries in the areas I knew his patrols took him. But Gabriel was nowhere to be seen.  So, on the third day, when I came downstairs for work and Hazel handed me a picnic basket with a pointed look in her eyes, I grabbed my cloak to protect myself from the chill, and made my way to the office. If Gabriel was not there, then at least someone may know where he would be.

Gabriel was buried under a mountain of paper work.  Next to the door, I could see his coat. It was wet and hanging from a hook, a puddle forming beneath it.  Next to it, leaned his sword and an overflowing wastebasket.  At his desk, Gabriel sat slumped, one hand threaded through his hair as he leaned forward, scribbling furiously at forms.

Sighing, I stared at him for a long, uninterrupted moment.  The normally very put together facade of Gabriel Caine was a mess.  It was clear he had not changed his clothes in days, his shirt wrinkled and slightly stained at the collar.  His face looked drawn and the normally vibrant grey of his eyes looked dull in comparison.  I could see him muttering something under his breath, a note of irritation threading through the room.  Reaching out, I rapped at the door, so as to gain his attention. It took two more tries before he even looked my way. When he did, his eyes flashed silver, his body tensing as if he were ready to yell at whoever dared to interrupt him.

His gaze softened as he spotted me instead.

“I was not expecting to see you here today,” he said, markedly trying to bleed the tension from his shoulders.

I tried to keep my expression warm. “May I come in?”

“Of course.” Rising, he made his way to the other side of the desk where the chair I normally sat in was covered in boxes and file folders.  For the first time since I had known him, I saw Gabriel without his vest, his shirt untucked.

Moving some of the papers out of the way, he made it so I had a spot to sit.  When I gently pushed him to sit in it instead, he looked at me, blinking in surprise. His hands came up to steady himself, brushing against my sides.

Setting aside my picnic basket, I tipped my head towards him. It was clear he had not slept. The front desk had said that he hadn’t taken more than a fifteen-minute break at his desk for days.  “When’s the last time you ate?” I asked him.

For a moment, I wondered if Gabriel was the type of man who would dare lie in the face of something he had clearly done.  There was a flicker in his eyes that said that perhaps he was. But, he had been caught and he knew it. Slumping back in his seat, he looked up at me, a slight blush of chastisement coloring his cheeks. “That would require me to be aware of what day it even is.”

“Gabriel,” I sighed.  Turning, I grabbed the wrapped sandwiches Hazel had packed and handed one to him. I then hopped up on the desk. If I had to sit here and guard him until he had a decent meal, I would.  “Noel at the front said that you haven’t been home. Not even to one of the little guard houses.”

“A celestial can go an infinite amount of time without sleep,” he told me.  Both of us knew that was not true.  Mainly because while Gabriel called himself a celestial, he was still one that had fallen from grace.  I didn’t know what that made him anymore but the perks he had had while in the embrace of the Knowing were far different from the ones he had now.

“Could you do me a favor?” I asked.

He finished his sandwich in record time and didn’t hesitate when I held out the second one to him. “Of course.”

“Could you take a walk with me today? I know you are busy but I would like to spend some time with you.”

Something in his gaze broke a little as guilt washed over him.  “I’m sorry that I have not come to see you.”

Reaching out, I cupped his cheek. “I am not concerned about that. I’m concerned about getting food in you.  But, I would very much love for you to accompany me somewhere that isn’t here. I still get a bit nervous being this close to the docks.”

Gabriel was on his feet immediately. It was something I had been trying with him recently since learning he liked his partner to be more in control. I wasn’t sure if I could ever be as domineering as I’m sure someone like Belladonna could be. But soft assertive energy was one he responded to just as well.  In situations where he was clearly not taking care of himself, it worked the best.

“And eat that on the way,” I told him, motioning to the second sandwich.  He nodded, grabbing his cloak from the closet since his jacket looked like it would take days to dry.

“I’m sorry. Yes. Of course. We should leave here. Go some place else.”

“Some place quiet,” I suggested.

“Of course. Of course.  I have just the place.”

Gabriel wasn't normally a verbal person. He kept his words closely guarded. Oftentimes, I found myself filling in the blanks with small questions or things I had observed. Today, I let that silence pass between us while he ate. And when he was done, I handed him a warm mug of tea that Hazel had prepared, certain that it would have the herbs and tonics in it to help him. Hazel was always very good at anticipating what a person needed.

Sipping at it, he took my free hand in his and led us up a small back section of the beach. Far away from the docks and up a slick set of steps carved out of the obsidian mountainside that jutted from the dark. So covered in shadows this portion of the market had been, that I hadn’t even noticed it before now.  But the winding path that cut through the rock was one that Gabriel had obviously traveled several times before.  His hand upon mine was certain as he gently guided my body around loose stone and cracked steps, until we reached the precipice of the mountainside and stepped out onto a craggy plateau and into a field of stars.

I gasped at what lay before me.  Endless bits of light littered the sky, stretching out into a soft curve until I was aware of nothing but a purpling night and the soft glow of silver light that shone throughout.  Leading me over to the edge of the plateau, Gabriel held me close as the two of us sat, our legs dangling over the cliffside. Below, the ocean churned, white caps rushing into electric plumes of grey as the creatures beneath snapped their tails.  The lanterns were gone from this section of the market, either having never been created or fallen to the salty brine below long before I had stepped foot here.  I curled closer to Gabriel, feeling his arm wrap firmly around me as my hand rested on his thigh.

“I came from there,” he said after a moment.  I tipped my face towards him but didn't say anything. Letting him speak in his own time.  “Where the ocean and the stars meet. I believe that is where the Knowing still exists.”

I looked out towards the horizon, straining my eyes until I could no longer separate the sky from the sea.  There was a thin cast of silver there. So faint that I almost wondered if I was making it up.

“It’s funny really. Elias and I both considered that home for so long.” His voice cracked on Elias’s name.  It fell strangely flat around us, as if the word itself had been tumbled over sharp juts of rock and now resembled something completely different than it had before.  “We used to obsess about getting back to there.  We would sit up at night and speak of it.  Of how to fall back into the grace of the Knowing. Of the things we missed.  The places we would go sit and bask within once we got back.  Endless nights were spent trading memories back and forth with each other.  It is what brought us so close together, I suspect.  We were the only ones who knew of what each other spoke.  There was comfort in that.”

“You both were a connection to home,” I said. Despite what I thought about Elias, it was clear that the man had once meant so much more to Gabriel.  I didn’t know if I would ever be able to view him as the man that Gabriel described, but at this moment, it was clear I didn’t need to.

“That’s what I find so frustrating about it all,” he confessed. “We were so focused on the home of the Knowing that we did not focus on the home we had right here.” He shook his head.  A small lock of hair fell from its place, slashing across his silver gaze.  Two star points, I now realized, lighting him from within.  “Reese was home,” he said firmly. “He was the one who saved us both.  He dragged Elias from the madness when it first started taking hold and dragged me from it as well. And if Reese didn’t know how to do something for us, he went out and found someone that did.”

I ran a hand soothingly up and down his leg.  “He seems like a very good man.”

“He’s not,” Gabriel laughed.  “He could have been but… everything got so fucked up during those days.” I startled.  It was rare to hear Gabriel speak in such a way and for whatever reason, it cracked through me in one long burning line of pain. Like a breaking of a bone.  Gabriel was in pain. The time spent at Elias was still haunting him and the mistakes of his past were rattling around in such a way that was threatening to tear him in two.  I could feel it all. Here. In the endless dark. I could feel his pain as if it were my own.

“The things that had happened are ones I never wish to repeat,” he told me softly.  “But they were preventable. I believe we could have prevented this. Saved Elias. Saved Reese. They could have still been together if they just hadn’t wished to save me.”

“Gabriel,” I swallowed the lump in my throat, feeling the tears that now coursed down his cheek. “They loved you.  They still do.  While I don’t know what happened, of course they saved you. That’s what parents are supposed to do.”

He was silent for a moment as he looked out towards the line of silver. “I wish they hadn’t.”

“Why?”

“Because it makes it so I can never save them.”

I didn’t understand. I knew I didn’t and I was now wondering if I was meant to.  I just stared at him, squeezing his hand tightly to try and offer him comfort in this moment.

“I need something from you,” he said, a fervor of determination in his voice.  “And you must give me permission because I do not wish to take anything from you that you do not wish to give.” Even if it would help him. I could hear it.  He would rather sit in discomfort than cause me to feel any of my own.  It made my heart ache for him even more.

“What do you need?” I asked.

“Allow me to kiss you.” His head ducked down. “Please.”

“Gabriel,” I huffed in surprise. “You of course can kiss me.”

His hands were on my hips before the sentence could even finish and with strength that was terrifying to behold, he swung me onto his lap. My thighs bracketed his own and I was aware that the only thing that was keeping me from falling backwards over the edge and into the void, were the clasped hands at the small of my back. He slotted me firmly to him, pressing me tight against his lap until his belt buckle dug into my stomach.  Then, his lips were on mine. They were full of demand and raw need and I felt my heart flip over in my chest as I feared the world would give out beneath me and I would fall into the ocean below. But before me was a storm. One that pulled and grabbed and begged for me to take away his pain.  And by the Knowing did I want to. More than anything, I wanted to take away his hurt and toss it to the creatures below where it would be buried in the Deep.

Pressing myself forward I felt a deep moan rumble through his chest as he gripped me tightly, rolling his hips up towards mine. Warmth pooled in my stomach as he tilted his head in just such a way, asking me to control the kiss even further and inviting me to run my tongue past the seam of his lips.   Gabriel’s hold on me remained tight and unrelenting as we explored each other's mouths beneath the stars. Slowly, he began to lean backwards until I was stretched across him in one long line, our legs tangling together. I could feel his heart thundering beneath my fingers as my hand snuck up under his shirt to rest upon his chest.

Pulling back, he stared at me, his eyes a deep silver. The hold he had on me was all consuming.  It pulled me in, not allowing me a second to breathe or shiver without him. It was then that I knew.  Falling in love with this man would be brighter than any light from the great beyond.  Falling in love with him would burn me from within and push and pull me into something far more than I ever thought I could be. And in return, Gabriel would give me each and every in of himself until the two of us could no longer tell where one began and the other did end.

“We should stop,” he said, though he looked as if he didn’t want to. His breaths were coming out in stuttered pants and his pupils were blown wide with desire. His hand came up to cup my cheek, thumb catching on my bottom lip.  “Tell me we should stop.”

I didn’t want to. I wanted to feel his skin against mine and understand what made him tick. I wanted to have those hands grip me and tug my body against the naked expanse of his own. I wanted it all.  But I didn’t want it to be in response to grief.  I didn’t want Gabriel to regret a single second of it.

So touch. Touch would be what I would give him for a brief moment more, knowing that he trusted me enough to stop him before it went too far. “Just a minute more,” I told him.

Rolling us, he braced his arms on either side of me, locking eyes with my own. His gaze was deep and intense and ever so slowly, he lowered his hips down onto mine.  I arched beneath him, gasping at the contact and the hard outline I felt there.  Keeping his eyes locked to mine, he began rolling his hips softly, my legs falling open as a shiver rolled across my spine.

“One minute,” he repeated.

Leaning down, he captured my lips against his own again, gasping into my mouth as I ran my hands down his back.

And above us, the star twirled, and upon the horizon, a silver cast of light flared.