Q&A For the Month of May (Patreon)

Author: “Welcome everyone to our end of the month Q&A. I have decided to sit Hazel, Milo, Belladonna and Gabriel down in the same room together. Our other guests will be brought in a bit later.”

Gabriel: “Who else are you interviewing?”

Author: “No one, Gabriel. No one at all.  Let’s get to the questions.  First one is for you in fact, Gabriel.  What do you do when you aren’t working?  Besides stealing the heart of many of the readers.”

Gabriel: “It is impossible to steal a heart.  Unless you are implying that I am murdering someone, which is not my intent with being a member of the Velvet Guard.”

Milo: “You like to bring that up a ton. Afraid we’ll forget, Gabby?”

Gabriel (ignoring Milo): “In my free time, I like to listen to music. Concerto’s predominantly.  I also enjoy quiet dinners.  There is a small bistro by the river front that I enjoy inhabiting.”

Author: “That sounds lovely, Gabriel.  Milo, since you seem eager to speak, the audience would like to know if you get cold with an open shirt like that?”

Milo: “I do.  Which is why I am looking for someone, kind, caring, and warm-blooded, to be my blanket.”

Belladonna (rolls her eyes): “Please. That can’t possibly work on someone.”

Milo: “Oho! Are we answering questions today without the mask of propriety on?”

Belladonna: “I am shocked you even know the word, Milo.”

Author (clears throat): “Moving along. Hazel. We have heard you mention your mother a few times. What is a good memory that you have of her?”

Hazel: “Of my mom? Uh. Well… she taught me how to grow my garden.  I remember her taking me out into the beds there and teaching me how best to harvest basil and rosemary.  You have to get them at a certain time during the day. A feat that is much harder given we don’t really have a day.  I’ll always appreciate that about her. She made sure that I knew how to fend for myself. That I didn’t have to rely on anyone for survival.”

Milo (reaches out and taking Hazel’s hand): “You have the best damn herb garden around, too.”

Author: “This next question is for all of you.  What can be found in your pockets?”

Belladonna: “Well, I don’t have pockets, per se, but I do keep my lipstick somewhere close at hand.”

Milo: “She means between her boobs.”

Belladonna: “Or around my neck.”

Hazel: “I mainly have seeds in my pockets. And some treats for Mr. Billows. And a few receipts for clients. Oh, and sometimes I carry some snacks for myself if I get hungry. A few tonics in case I run into an emergency when I’m not at home. My papers of course…”

Gabriel: “You should all be carrying your papers.”

Hazel: “Oh, and a small athame. For protection.”

Milo: “Mainly got junk in my pockets. Some bits and coin.”

Author: “And you, Gabriel?”

Gabriel: “I’d rather not talk about it.”

Author: “Well, okay, instead, how about tattoo’s. Anyone have any tattoos? Gabriel, we will start with you.”

Gabriel: “No.”

Author: “Alright, moving on. Belladonna?”

Belladonna: “None. I find that I quite dislike needles.”

Gabriel, for reasons unknown, clenches his jaw.

Hazel: “I have a small one. Of a bundle of wildflowers. It’s on my ankle.”

Milo: “Got a tramp stamp. Of a butterfly. Love those winged freaks.”

Hazel (giggles): “Does it have glitter?”

Milo: “Of course!”

Author: “Hazel, everyone is dying to know how you found Mr. Billows.”

Milo (muttering): “Demon Bill.”

Hazel: “He found me, actually.  I was wandering home one night, and he followed me. At first, I thought he was just hungry. He was so tiny, after all, but then when I tried to give him food he just batted it away.  I think he instead wanted a few snuggles. I- It had been kind of a rough week. I think he had noticed that.  Anyway, he disappeared for a bit after that, but always seemed to be around when I needed him.”

Author: “Well, I think all of us, but Milo can say we are happy he is around.  Next question is for Belladonna.  What is the strangest client you’ve ever had?”

Belladonna: “Now, I can’t actually divulge that. Client privilege and all. But I can tell you it involved several gallons of toenail polish and an ornately woven rug.”

Hazel: “Is there a difference between toenail and fingernail polish?”

Belladonna: “Oh. Oh, dear heart.  Drop by the office after this is all done. I may have a few things I need to be teaching you.”

Hazel blushes

Author: “And our last question for you four is this. If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?”

Gabriel: “It would have to be something nutritious. That would cover most of the food groups and be high in protein. Perhaps an energy bar designed specifically to meet all your dietary needs.”

Milo: “Noodles. All of the noodles.”

Hazel: “Oh. I do like noodles. And sweet bread. And dumplings. Maybe a bit of kafe with it?”

Milo: “Kafe! Yes! I change my answer to that.”

Author: “And you, Belladonna? What is the one food you would have for the rest of your life?”

Belladonna (smiling): “You.”

Author (blushing and suddenly realizing how hot it is in here): “Well, that is all the time we have with these four. Stick around for our bonus guest, and I’ll talk to you all later.

Everyone leaves the room.

Author, after a moment: “You can come out now.”

Malcolm Albright enters the room. He sits on the chair Milo has vacated, looking at the one his sister had been sitting on.

Author: “Now, Malcolm, I know we cannot ask you where you are or what has happened to you, but there are a few questions that the readers do have.”

Malcolm: “I suspect they have more than a few.”

Author: “Probably, but let's start with this. What is your favorite memory of your mother?”

Malcolm: “I don’t have any. She was a bitter, mean, old woman. And Hazel is going to be great at trying to dismiss that or seeing the good in her, but I made peace with that a long time ago.”

Author: “Alright, that’s fair.  You have been known to have enchanted windows in your apartment. How did you get them, and why doesn’t everyone have them? It would seem beneficial for more people to see the sun.”

Malcolm: “I got them after a job, actually.  A rich type. He couldn’t pay his bill, but he had these windows custom done by an enchanter that I don’t think lives in the Market anymore.  It was quite a big job, so when I requested those, he had really no choice but to give them to me.  I haven’t really seen where anyone else in the Market has been able to replicate them. Though, I’m sure they’ve tried.

Author: “Sounds like the artificers need to get on that.  And just one more, before we let you go for the evening. If there was one thing you could say to Hazel, what would it be?”

Malcolm stops, taking a moment to think about this. He looks at the chair his sister had been sitting on, almost as if he is looking at her. “I’m proud of you.”  Getting up, he exits the room, not giving a single glance back.

Author: “Well, I hope you all enjoyed this month's Q&A. As always, if you have anything you would like to ask the characters, please send me your monthly asks to my Patreon box.  Hope everyone is doing well! I’ll see you all soon!”