Super Zombie Slayers - Chapter 16 (Patreon)

“Sure you’re alright back there?” Yang asked for the third time, sparing another glance in the rearview mirror as they drove to the courthouse.

“Just dandy now that I’ve got my Ren back!”

“That’s great, Nora,” Yang directed to the other side of the truck before returning her gaze to Ruby, who’d been unusually silent ever since returning from the basketball arena.  “I meant Ruby though.  You doing ok?”

Finally turning away from the window, Ruby met Yang’s gaze in the mirror and smiled.  “Yeah!  Just thinking about Zomboni and what other traps she might’ve set.  That sorta stuff.”

The uncharacteristically tame answer did nothing to quell Yang’s curiosity.  Neither did the way Ruby glanced at Weiss, who didn’t return the look, before staring out the window again.  Something was going on there - something neither of them wanted her to figure out.

Fortunately for them, she didn’t have the mental capacity to solve that mystery and keep tabs on Blake.  The drive to the courthouse had been uneventful so far - minus a few zombies Xander plowed through like a lawnmower through a clump of weeds - but Blake’s mood held almost all of Yang’s attention.

Blake hadn’t said much since leaving the arena, which Yang initially attributed to Nora’s excited and...shockingly graphic...retelling of how she finally got to use those grenades of hers.  In the midst of hearing about body parts raining from the ceiling, there wasn’t much opportunity to add to the conversation.  Instead, Blake half-listened to the story while counting bullets in a new magazine and sliding it into her favorite submachine gun with a satisfying snap.  The process was repeated with each handgun she had on her before every weapon was meticulously examined and given a nod of approval.

Yang had never seen this side of Blake before, but she kind of liked it.  The silent brooding paired well with the hint of burning fury lurking underneath.  Combined with the subtly threatening weapon check, Blake looked ready to unleash hell on whoever asked for it.

It was hot, actually.  And, so long as that anger wasn’t directed at her, Yang was more than willing to see how this played out.  Although she vaguely worried about Blake doing something brash in the heat of the moment, she also knew that Blake would never lose control like that.

...or would she?  Under ordinary circumstances - like staring down a horde of ravenous zombies, running out of ammo, and resorting to a broken chair leg for self-defense - Blake was calm, collected, and unflappable.  But what if this was the moment when her stoicism broke?

As much as Yang wanted to be wrong, she also kind of wanted to be right.  What would it look like when Blake lost control?  And all because some zombie-whispering psycho was flirting with Yang?  That sounded so inconceivable, she hoped it was true.

“Yang -”

“Oh, shit.”  Catching a glimpse of the courthouse, she slammed on the brakes so they didn’t fly past.  The tires locked up instead, bringing them to a skidding stop in front of the stairs leading to the entrance.  “Sorry,” she added with an embarrassed laugh.  “I was just...daydreaming.”

She almost heard Weiss’ eyeroll as the back doors opened, but Blake caught her gaze and let a smile creep onto her lips.

“Hopefully about something good…like what we’re going to do tonight?” Blake suggested, and Yang’s mind immediately jumped tracks.

“Uh…” was all she said before Blake smiled and hopped out of the truck, leaving her to sputter on her own.  That hadn’t been at all what she was thinking about, but now it was.  Hurrying out of the truck, she caught Blake’s gaze again and earned a playful smile that made her heart flutter.

At least Blake was still smiling.  That alone reassured Yang that this wouldn’t end horribly.  On the plus side, they were nearly done with this side mission to their side mission.  All they had to do was head into the courthouse, find some people in need of saving, save those people and call it a day.

Still lightly wincing at the pain in her side, she joined everyone at the cabinets full of weapons.  Nora had already refilled her belt of grenades, which was...concerning...but everyone else was refilling ammo or grabbing a secondary weapon.

“Alright.”  Slinging a shotgun over her shoulder - which still hurt like hell, by the way - she threw on a big smile.  “Let’s grab your friends and head home!”

“Shouldn’t you stay here again?  You’re still hurt.”

“Yeah, but...this is the final mission.  I can’t stay behind on the final mission.”

The logic was lost on Weiss, but Ruby mulled over the comment before nodding.  “This place isn’t as big,” she added in Yang’s defense.  “She should be able to run at least that far.”

“And if she can’t, we’ll use her as zombie bait!”

“Thanks, Nora.”  Yang shook her head at the idea, though paused when she noticed everyone else considering the suggestion a little too seriously.  “Ok,” she interrupted before they got any funny ideas.  “Time for our tour!”

With as much flourish as she could muster with a severely bruised side and still-healing shoulder, she gestured to their final destination: the courthouse.  The building loomed above them, sitting at the top of at least three stories’ worth of wide, shallow steps.  Part of her thought the steps were meant to keep cars from driving through the front doors, but the stone columns protecting the entrance should also do that.  In fact, the building as a whole gave off a distinct ‘fortress’ vibe.

“Anyone else think it’s ironic this is where we end up?” she commented as they trudged up the steps.  “The courthouse - hall of justice - the place where good people put bad people behind bars...”

“The place where we break people out of bars!” Nora added with a fist pump.

After glancing Nora’s way, Yang shared an amused look with Blake.  While not exactly the sentiment she was going for, at least the enthusiasm was there.  As they drew nearer to the building, however, she was convinced that this setting couldn’t be more perfect.  The lobby doors were nothing more than broken glass, like every location in the city, but the building itself was in great condition.  The giant, sandy blocks used for construction looked weathered from time, but time might very well be the only thing that could damage such sturdy building materials.

“Wow…”

Stepping into the grand, open entrance, she paused and spun in a circle to take everything in.  The furniture was destroyed, paper was strewn about, and evidence of bloody battles was everywhere, but that was all normal stuff.  What held her attention were the walls and ceilings.  Colorful murals covered almost every flat surface, and intricate carvings filled in everything else.

“This place is…”

“Beautiful?” Blake offered.

“Yeah!  It’s beautiful.”

“I would hope so,” Weiss commented, unimpressed by the ornate interior.  “It was built over three hundred years ago, then millions were dumped into renovating it over the past few years.”

“How do you know this random crap?”

“It’s called learning, Yang.  I know you avoid it as much as possible, but some of us actually enjoy it.”

When Weiss huffed and stalked towards the front desk with Ruby, Yang made a face at her back before turning to Blake.

“You and this building have at least one thing in common,” Yang said with a gesture towards the ceiling.

“You’ve been inside us?”

“Wh-at?”  Yang’s cheeks and ears instantly flushed.  “No, I meant -”  Glancing around to make sure no one else overheard, she lowered her voice and said, “I meant that you’re beautiful.”

“Oh.  Well you could have said that.”

Blake’s smile was playful, but Yang took it as a lesson well-learned - give a real compliment or suffer the consequences.  “I could have,” she agreed.  “And I will.  Next time.”

With a satisfied hum, Blake held Yang’s hand as they walked further into the lobby.  “I’m surprised you haven’t been here before,” she added while passing through the metal detectors, which remained silent regardless of the weapons they carried.

“Why?  Do I seem like the type to get in trouble?”

“Look!” Nora exclaimed when Blake shrugged.  “It’s Mr. Mustache!”

Nora pointed at a burly zombie with a mustache and uniform who somehow got himself handcuffed to a desk.  Whether that was before or after he went full zombie was unclear, but the bullet hole in his forehead made it pretty clear how he died one of those times.

“How do you know the bailiff?” Weiss asked, sending Nora a suspicious glance.

“You don’t want to know…”

When Ren shook his head and dragged Nora away, Yang shared a curious look with Blake before following.  The rest of the lobby was a mess - a beautiful mess, because those murals really did some heavy lifting, but a mess all the same.  Fortunately, any active zombies had already left the building, leaving just a few bodies to check before calling the room clear.

“Guess we should search the courtrooms?” Ruby suggested when nothing of interest stuck out.

“Should we split up again?” Weiss added, but Yang shook her head.

“You don’t split up for the boss fight.  Then you might miss the whole thing!”

“So?”

Yang had a host of responses to that, but Blake ended the argument by squeezing her hand and leading her towards a doorway branching off of the entryway.  “We should stick together just in case,” she suggested more diplomatically.  “You never know what we might be up against.”

Ruby accepted the logic with a shrug, meaning Weiss had no choice but to sigh and follow.  Nora, however, looked thrilled to just be in the building, and willingly trailed behind them while holding Ren’s hand.

The next hallway was just as ornate as the lobby, with doors on either side suggesting large courtrooms beyond.  “This is the perfect place for a final battle,” Yang whispered as they crept down the hall.  The priceless architecture practically begged to be blown apart, and Nora was carrying more than enough explosives to make that happen.

“Let’s try to leave the building in one piece,” Blake responded just as softly, so Yang let that destructive future fade away.

“Think she’s here?” she asked instead, keeping her voice especially low when Blake carefully opened one of the courtroom doors and peeked inside.  After a quick scan, she shook her head, closed the door, and motioned for them to move on.

“Here or nearby,” Blake muttered as they pressed further into the building.

Nora and Ren checked the next room on the other side of the hall.  Or Ren checked and then prevented Nora from causing a commotion when they discovered that court was still in session.  A soft moan slipped into the hall as he quickly shut the door and shook his head. The nearby danger provided extra motivation to hurry, and they moved quickly to the next courtroom.

“Wait.”  Midway there, Yang abruptly stopped and held up a hand.  “Do you hear that?” she whispered as everyone froze behind her.  For several long, tense seconds, no one moved while listening for a disturbance.

“There,” she mouthed when she heard again, this time pointing up ahead.

Frowning in that direction, Blake unclipped her submachine gun and raised it to her chin.  The rest of them wasted no time following suit, silently unholstering and readying their weapons for whatever was headed their way.  Prior experience suggested they were about to run into some Zs.  But, unless zombies had learned how to talk, those were definitely human voices filtering out of the room up ahead.

After taking several slow, measured steps forward, Yang stopped a good ten feet away from the room and felt her muscles stiffen when the voices grew louder.  As soon as the door burst open, the six of them raised their weapons and prepared to fire.

“ - how was I supposed to know?” someone asked while walking into the hall.  “It said ‘hot blonde.’  Who’s hotter and blonder than -”

The boy cut off mid-sentence when he spotted them, eyes widening as he unceremoniously dropped the door in his friend’s face.

“Ouch.  What the - hell…”  Rubbing his forehead, a second boy froze when he saw the weapons pointed his way.

“Uh, hey!” the first boy, who had spiky-blonde hair and an enviable amount of abs, greeted them with a friendly smile.  “Who’re you guys?”

Unexpected, to say the least, Yang shared a confused glance with her companions before turning back to him.

“We’re...Super Zombie Slayers.  Who’re you?”

“‘Super Zombie Slayers?’” he repeated before laughing.  “That sounds awesome.  We’re Junior Detectives!”

“Junior...what?”

“Junior Detectives,” the second boy, with blue hair and...goggles on his head...repeated before reaching for his pocket.  When six weapons snapped his way, his friend grabbed his arm.

“Dude.  Don’t reach for your pocket when you’ve got someone aiming at you!”

“Well sorry.  I wanted to show them our badges.”

“Show them later!  Like when they decide not to shoot us.”

“Fine.”

When the blue-haired boy crossed his arms and pouted, Yang glanced over and smiled at Weiss’ bewildered expression.  Weiss handled confusion about as well as butter handled the sun, meaning she was about three seconds from becoming vocally annoyed.

“Seriously,” she snapped moments after the thought crossed Yang’s mind.  “Who are you and what are you doing here?”

“We’re...junior detectives…” the blue-haired boy repeated in a slow, patronizing tone that made Weiss even more annoyed.  “And we’re investigating a mystery.”

“What kind of mystery?” Ruby asked, sounding beyond interested in the answer.

“The mystery of -”  After a well-timed pause for dramatic effect, the blonde pulled a folded piece of paper from his shirt pocket, snapped it open with a flick of his wrist, and held it out for them to see.  “- who’s looking for me.”

As soon as Yang saw the flier that led them here, she laughed and ran a hand through her hair.  “Sure that’s for you?” she asked, her amusement growing when his eyes widened and his jaw slowly dropped.  His friend, however, looked between her and the flier several times before letting out a low whistle.

“Well, I’ll be…” he muttered while taking the page and holding it up to look at it and Yang at the same time.  After a thoughtful examination, he lowered the page and nodded.  “Another hot blonde,” he concluded before making a show of slowly folding the paper into a small square.

“This case is closed,” he added while sticking it in his pocket.  “Another success for the Junior Detectives.”  He then high-fived his friend, who grinned at them.

“I guess she’s waiting for you then.”

“She?” Yang asked before the words sank in.  “You mean she’s here?  Zomboni’s here?”

“What...is a zomboni...?”

“I think it’s a type of pasta…” the blonde whispered to his friend, who nodded as if that made sense.

“Nevermind that,” Blake interrupted.  When she stepped forward, both boys wisely backed up.  “Just tell us where she is.”

“In the last room on the left.”  The blue-haired boy pointed over one shoulder while the blonde nodded.  “She wasn’t very happy to see us, but if you’re the hot blonde she’s waiting for…”

“Maybe she’ll be nicer to you,” the other boy concluded.

“Unlikely…” Weiss grumbled.

“If you aren’t gonna shoot us, maybe we’ll just skedaddle.”  When the blonde sidestepped Blake and their weapons didn’t follow, he relaxed into a grin and waved his friend after him.  “Good luck though!” he added before catching Yang’s gaze and motioning her closer.  She didn’t move, but that didn’t prevent him from leaning close to whisper, “Nice to know I’m not the only one out there.”

Suddenly grinning, Yang willingly gave him a high five before he backed away.  “We’re staying at the museum, by the way,” he added.  “If you guys ever wanna hang.”

Without further ado, the two boys headed towards the courthouse’s entrance, clearly unconcerned about being overheard while chatting amongst themselves.  After watching them go, Ruby was the first to turn around and smile.

“They seem fun!”

“They seem like hooligans, Ruby,” Weiss corrected her.

“Yeah, but fun ones.  Fun hooligans...fooligans!”

While Ruby giggled at her made-up word, Weiss sighed and shook her head.  She already knew what would happen next - Ruby would want to check out the museum, and she wouldn’t be able to say no.  So Ruby would become friends with the ‘hooligans,’ who would then be around all the time, funneling away precious minutes of their alone time.

“How is it that we don’t see any survivors for months, and now they’re running around all over the place?” Weiss eventually asked.

“It’s great though, right?  More humans, more friends!”

Weiss disagreed, but she held Ruby’s hand as consolation while they returned to the objective at hand.  Knowing exactly where Zomboni was, they approached the door far more carefully than they had any of the others.  Who knew what sort of traps lay just inside?

“Any chance we can just substitute those two guys for your friends?” Yang whispered to Ren and Nora, wondering if that was an acceptable, easier solution.  Nora, however, giggled at the suggestion.

“You wouldn’t say that if you knew what Pyrrha looked like,” she teased, increasing Yang’s curiosity by a magnitude of ten.

Saving boys was one thing, but saving hot girls?  Putting her life on the line to do that seemed like an admirable goal.  So, ensuring everyone was ready, she opened the door and crept into the courtroom beyond.  Quickly spotting motion up ahead, she tensed and pointed her weapon across the room.

The fooligans were right - Zomboni was here.  Currently, she was so engrossed in pacing behind the judge’s pulpit, muttering to herself, that she had no idea she had company.  Her distraction might be great if it presented the opportunity to save a hot girl without being spotted, but the rest of the room was empty - Nora and Ren’s friends weren’t here.

That didn’t mean they weren’t nearby, but it forced another interaction to pry that information from their evil villain.  Which was fine since Yang wasn’t particularly stealthy anyway.

“Hey,” she called out when they were midway across the room.

“I told you -” Zomboni began, but stopped mid-sentence when she spotted Yang.  “Oh,” she corrected with a smile that she quickly forced into a scowl.  “You finally made it.  Thought I’d be here all year.”

“Not sorry to keep you waiting,” Ruby replied with an adorable giggle.  She sucked at being villainy, but that was part of what made her so cute.  Weiss, on the other hand…

“We don’t have all day,” she snapped, looking annoyed that she had to hold a conversation at all.  “Just tell us what you want for them, then we’ll say ‘no’ and get them out of here anyway.”

For the briefest second, confusion flickered through Zomboni’s green eyes.  The fleeting look told Yang all she needed to know.  “You don’t even have them, do you?” she asked, narrowing her eyes when Zomboni gave a convincing laugh.

“Of course I have them.  Why else would I bring you here?”

“To flirt with my girlfriend.”

As soon as Yang heard the word, she looked at Blake in shock.

“Your -?  Am I?  Really?”

“I...thought so?” Blake replied with a confused look.  “What else would we be?”

“I - I don’t know.  I thought - maybe you just wanted to sleep together.”

“Wow,” Zomboni interrupted before Blake replied.  “You two are incredibly awkward.”

“Aren’t they?” Weiss agreed, crossing her arms and shaking her head at Yang.  “I know it’s Yang’s fault somehow...”

“Thanks, guys!  Private conversation here?”  After gesturing to Blake, Yang realized that their ‘private’ conversation was happening in front of a lot of people.  “Ok, we’ll talk about that later?  But yes - absolutely yes.”

When Blake smiled and nodded, Yang’s heart jumped with joy.  After waiting so long, they finally did it.  Well, they already did that, but now they were official.  They were officially together.

A heavy sigh brought their attention back to the front of the room, where Zomboni shook her head.  “That’s disappointing.  And here I was...foolishly thinking I had a chance...”

“You shot me!”

“Love tap, sweetie.”

“Ok, that’s it -” Blake pulled out a handgun and pointed it at Zomboni, who only looked amused by the threat.  “Just give us their friends back, and stop flirting with my girlfriend, or I’m ending your stupid games.”

“Woah, Blake.” Yang carefully pushed the barrel of the gun down and shook her head.  “We don’t know what type of crazy she has up her sleeve...”

“I love how you think I’m the crazy one.”

“Why wouldn’t we?  You’re setting all these crazy traps around the city.  Only a crazy person would do that.”

“Or someone wrongfully accused of being the villain.”  Yang’s brow furrowed at the idea, which Zomboni took as permission to continue.  “Have you ever thought that maybe you’re on the wrong team?” she directed to Yang alone.  “What if you’ve been compromised?  What if you’re aiding the bad guys?  What if you’re already helping the villain?”

When everyone’s gazes slid to Weiss, she looked around and scowled.

“Why are you all looking at me?”

“No way she’s evil!” Ruby replied before giving Weiss a second, longer glance.  “But even if she was, I’d stay with her!”

“I see what you’re doing,” Yang said, waving her finger at Zomboni.  “You’re trying to give me an existential crisis.  You’re trying to make me question which side I’m on!”

“Is it working?”

“Well, no, because I know what you’re doing.”

Even if Weiss was evil, Ruby’s inherent goodness canceled it out.  Therefore, Weiss couldn’t be evil.  Well, she could be, but she couldn’t act on those impulses without Ruby being disappointed in her - and that was the worst punishment anyone could ever receive.

“Fine,” Zomboni replied with another heavy sigh.  “Then no, I don’t have whoever you’re looking for.”

“So...this is another trap?” Ruby asked while Weiss threw her hands in the air.  “Or did you just want to see Yang again?”

“Yang?” Zomboni repeated, and Yang immediately sighed.

“Dammit, Ruby.  You don’t give the villain our real names!”

“Ruby,” Zomboni directed Ruby’s way with a smile.  Weiss, meanwhile, gave Yang a look that could freeze hell over.  “You’re cute, too,” Zomboni added.  “Are you seeing anyone?”

Zomboni dove behind the pulpit as a gunshot cracked through the air, the deafening sound making Yang duck in surprise.  “Jesus, Weiss!” she shouted over the ringing in her ears.  “Possessive much??”

“It slipped,” Weiss replied deadpan, throwing in an innocent shrug while holstering her pistol.

“Wish my gun slipped...” Blake muttered, drawing Yang’s glance while Ren walked over to the pulpit and checked behind it.

“There’s a trap door.”

When he pointed at the floor, Blake sighed.

“Do we follow or get the hell out of here?”

“Knowing her, there’s probably a horde of Zs bearing down on us right now.”  Waving a hand for silence, Yang listened for the sound of approaching death.  Hearing nothing outside of her heartbeat, she frowned.  “Huh...guess not.”

“Maybe she was feeling lazy today,” Ruby suggested.

“Maybe.”  Creating an elaborate zombie trap in a day did seem like a lot of work, so Yang shrugged.  “Ok, screw Zomboni.  She doesn’t have your friends, so we’re not following one of those flyers again.”

“Maybe we should check our hideout,” Ren suggested.

“Yeah!” Nora quickly agreed.  “Maybe they left clues!”

The idea of searching for more clues and more locations made Yang sigh as they headed back the way they came.  This was taking a really long time, but what could she do about that now?  Quitting mid-mission didn’t feel right, but their first lead led them nowhere.  Well, not exactly nowhere.  She got to see the courthouse, they stumbled across some random survivors who seemed friendly enough, and Zomboni was weird again.

“I just can’t believe she planned nothing,” Yang mused as they walked down the opulent hallway.  “No zombies, no cages - not even any explosives?  Why isn’t she trying to bring the entire building down on our heads?”

After an exasperated sigh, Weiss shot a frustrated look Yang’s way.

“You just had to say something, didn’t you,” she added before grabbing Ruby’s hand breaking into a sprint.

“What?” Yang asked, only to feel even more confused when Blake grabbed her hand and pulled her forward. Only then did she hear it - a low, steadily building rumble in the distance.  Combined with the shudder running under her feet...she just told the future.

The explosion started somewhere deep in the building, but the resulting destruction sent shockwaves through the halls.  Fissures cut through the gorgeous murals on the ceiling, creating a spiderweb of cracks.  The floor shook even harder, making it feel like running on sand that disappeared as soon as their feet touched down.  The longer the building shook, the larger the cracks grew, and it was only seconds before giant chunks of stone began falling around them.

“Watch out!” Nora called out before dodging a small boulder that crashed into the floor.  Yang and Blake skirted around the obstacle as the building crumbled around them.  The next piece of stone hit the floor so hard that it added a hop to Yang’s step.

They were almost there.  They reached the end of the hall and turned towards the lobby, only to slide to a stop when they discovered several Zs standing there waiting for them.  Before anyone could pull out a weapon, however, a huge slab of the ceiling dislodged and crashed to the floor.  The zombies...disappeared in the most extravagant fashion...and they wasted no time clambering over the stone and racing outside.

Only after putting enough distance between them and the still-crumbling building did they stop and watch the rest of the destruction unfold.  The roof collapsed in a cloud of debris.  The walls quickly followed, and the entire thing folded in on itself like a house of cards.

While everyone else put their hands over their heads or on their hips and took deep breaths, probably grateful to avoid being buried under a thousand tons of rubble, Yang looked down the stone steps and froze.

“What the hell!”