Conflict of Interest - Commentary - Ch. 11-12 (Patreon)

Another two weeks are gone, another commentary to write!  The last two weeks were slow, actually - so slow that I can't really remember what happened.  Is this what old age feels like?  If so, I’m not a fan.

My hands have been pretty tired recently, which I'm also not a fan of.  Unsurprisingly, I’ve been writing too much!  Part of the problem is that I have to write a lot of emails for work (darn work), but I'm also stuck in an awkward writing spot at the moment.  I really want to finish Queens of Remnant but doing so presents a bit of a quandary...

There are eleven chapters of Conflict of Interest left, meaning eleven weeks before we start a new story.  My initial plan was to post The Lie next, but I need at least a few weeks to go through it first.  I wrote it probably a year-and-a-half ago now, so it desperately needs some updating.

If The Lie needs three weeks for updates, then I only have eight weeks left to work on Queens of Remnant before having to change gears and focus on a completely different story.  Originally, I thought Queens of Remnant would take so long that this change of tracks was unavoidable.  But I've gotten so much done in the last two months that now I'm in a pickle.

Changing tracks at this point isn't ideal because of the scale and scope of QoR.  It took me a full week just to read the story and reintegrate myself in the world/storyline, so setting it aside will actually cost me more time and energy in the future because I'll have to repeat that process.  Obviously, that makes it easier to keep writing until it's finished rather than jump to another story then try to jump back.

I have thirteen chapters of QoR left to finish.  If I can continue my current pace, I could probably finish them in eight weeks.  Unfortunately, my current pace might be unsustainable for two more months.  Or maybe just unhealthy, not unsustainable.  Mentally, I could do it.  Physically...my hands are pretty tired.

The pickle:  I should probably slow down, but doing so means I won’t have The Lie ready when CoI ends.

Fortunately, I think I've come up with a solution.  I don't want to change plans, but at this point it might be best to do so.

So, rather than post The Lie next, I can post Dirty Little Secret instead.  Since I just finished that story a couple months ago, it won't need any updates - I can just proofread every Thursday.  This buys me another eight weeks (or maybe eleven weeks?) to finish QoR and update The Lie.

One thing I don't like about this plan is that The Lie has to wait even longer to see the light of day.  Another thing is that I don't plan on writing commentaries for Dirty Little Secret because of its...genre.  I'll still write something, definitely, but it will probably just be random musings about the stories I'm working on, or maybe I’ll dive more deeply into my writing process.

That’ll be fun, right?  I just don't think there are many comments to be made about a very smutty story.  (The smuttiest I’ve ever written.)

So I think that's the plan for now.  The sooner I accept it, the sooner I'll give myself a break.  I know that you're telling me to take a break, which I appreciate, I just really like finishing stories!  But I guess it shouldn't be at the expense of my health...

In more awesome news, we reached the 100 Patron goal!  I honestly still can’t believe it - I’m so grateful and thankful for everyone, especially when many of you have been supporting month-after-month for years now!  I can’t wait to return your support with more stories - in this case, with another peek into the world of What Defines Us!

I was discussing WDU with some people recently and they mentioned how they'd love to see a universe where Weiss doesn’t run away after Ruby’s injury, so...that's what we’ll see.

It's only a oneshot though, so don’t get too excited expecting a full story or anything!  Of course, I already have multiple ideas for additional oneshots I could write exploring their relationship if things went differently.  (Maybe we’ll see those in the future...)

The oneshot I have planned though will take place during the chapter where Weiss goes to see Ruby in the hospital for the first time after the accident.  It’s...kind of sad?  I don’t know why everyone seems so excited about it...it makes my heart hurt.  Weiss is still incredibly broken at that point in time, so it’s not all fun and games just because she doesn’t flip out and run away.

I'm excited to revisit that universe though.  It's heart-wrenching, but it makes me so happy that they help each other heal after everything they went through.  (Everything I put them through, I guess.)

I have a moderate amount of worry that revisiting the WDU universe will lead to me rereading then updating the entire thing, but we'll deal with that problem if it comes to pass.  Hopefully, I can control my mind...

Alright, enough about all that.  Let's get to the good stuff!  And by that, I mean more White Rose stuff.  Chapters 11 and 12 are a combination of cute/happy and cute/“oh no Weiss what have you done?”  We all knew it was coming though, so best to get it out in the open sooner rather than later!  Just rip the bandaid off, as some might say.

I think if I wrote this story again, I would throw in two more chapters before Chapter 12 happens.  Then again, I'm pretty sure I thought that while writing but ultimately decided not to.  The setup feels a little out of balance compared to the introductory chapters though.

By that, I mean the first 8 chapters built out their characters really well, but then there are only a handful of chapters with them interacting before things fall apart.  There are a few reasons why I thought this still works fine, but I think I should have had maybe one less introductory chapter and one more “spending time together” chapter.

This is one of the issues with writing more than one POV...if you try making these decisions too far along in the outlining process, you get stuck with certain chapters in certain POVS that you really don't want to change.  And you can't just add one chapter - you have to add in pairs to keep a perfectly alternating schedule.

I guess the chapters don't have to alternate every other.  I didn't do that in Dream Theory, but there was still a "pattern" - albeit an asymmetric one - that extended throughout the entire story.  Can you imagine if COI had alternating chapters except for one random part where there's two Ruby chapters in a row?  I shudder at the thought...

That was a long way of me saying that I wish the happiness lasted longer, but it is what it is!  I was comfortable ending the good times early because of Weiss' driven, no-nonsense personality.  She's determined to become a senior partner but refuses to waste her time.  It made sense to me that she would drop that bombshell as soon as she was confident Ruby would accept.  (Also, subconsciously, she got excited and jumped the gun a bit - she admits as much when she points out that she nearly blurted out the offer unprepared during Chapter 11.)

Ruby just has that effect on people!  She doesn't realize she's such a catch though.  She's too busy trying to figure out why Weiss captivates her attention more than anyone else.

I really like when she comes to the realization that humans are more complex than computers.  And Weiss, as a skilled debater (and liar), is even more complicated than a regular person.  Ruby loves a good challenge, and that's exactly what she's found.  She can't just hack into Weiss' brain and figure out what makes her tick - if that was an option though, she totally would.

The best part is that she doesn't even need to!  She already knows Weiss really well just because they're similar people (driven and extremely intelligent).  Weiss, on the other hand, knows Ruby just as well.

She proves this by knowing that Ruby created those holomasks even though Ruby never said anything.  Remember how I mentioned (through Weiss) that people buy custom masks so that they don't run into a twin?  (How embarrassing though, seriously.)  At the time, the implication was that Ruby bought the masks for Weiss.  In Chapter 11, Weiss tells us otherwise.

Why would Ruby buy multiple copies of anything tech related when she's a genius and can just make them herself?  That would be like...me paying for someone to write a fanfic.  I guess it would make sense if it saved me a lot of time...or if I didn’t want to write whatever it was...but otherwise I could just do it myself?

I'd like to point out that not only did Ruby create a program that generates custom masks, but she memorized the ones she gave to Weiss so that she could recognize Weiss in public - that way she doesn’t accidentally approach the wrong person again!

Didn’t Ruby send Weiss like 12 or 15 different personas though?  I’m so bad with faces...it would take me a long time to commit those to memory.  Ruby's memory in this story is off the charts good though.  Probably borderline photogenic.

That’s part of the reason why she’s so good at doing some of this tech stuff on the fly.  Like when she adds native encryption to Weiss’ phone without having to look up a single ‘how-to’ guide.

I love this moment because Weiss knows she doesn't have to let Ruby help her, and understands that Ruby could probably download all of her information without her even realizing, yet she still lets Ruby do it.  It shows just how much she trusts Ruby, just like Ruby trusts her.  Of course, that trust works out better for one of them than the other, as we see later...

I mentioned earlier how difficult it can be to write multiple POVs, but one of the great things about it is that the readers are much more “in the know” than they would be otherwise.  For instance, we know Weiss' ultimate goal, but Ruby doesn't.  So while Ruby interprets Weiss's questions or comments as mere curiosity, we interpret them as probing for information.

We see an example of this when Weiss asks about Yang.  We know that she’s trying to confirm just how close Yang and Ruby are.  Ruby, on the other hand, takes it as a nice bit of conversation.

The same could be said about the whole conversation about one of them changing careers.

I had Ruby bring up the subject to show you that maybe it's not as crazy as we initially think.  The flow of workers probably almost always works in Weiss's favor though.  As she mentions, the prosecutors and public defenders aren't paid much, so it would make sense if people eventually moved to the private sector to make more money.  Of course, Superhero Ruby isn't in this for the money.  She actually has a bit of distaste for it.

I'm always so impressed at how Weiss can spin anything in her favor though.  In this case, Ruby kind of disses defense attorneys for being greedy, but Weiss makes a valid argument that her job is actually quite necessary.  She's providing balance to the system.  (Isn't that what the Sith also say?)

This might have been a small interaction, but I wanted it to show that they have really healthy arguments.  The early chapters showed how argumentative and terse Weiss can be, especially with her co-workers, so I wanted there to be a clear difference in how she acts with Ruby.

Ultimately, it boils down to respect.  Ruby has Weiss' respect while basically no one else has.  Because of that, Weiss is willing to ‘win’ an argument but not completely drill Ruby into the ground about it.  She's also willing to admit that she's not completely right - something I highly doubt she would do with most other people...like Ruby's unfortunate coworkers, who show up at just the perfect time.

I realize now that it’s ironic that Casey thinks ‘Wynn’ is a strange name when he's at lunch with someone named Jez.  Jez is short for Jezebel, I guess, but that’s still a unique name!

This is one of my favorite scenes because Ruby is stuck between a rock and a hard place.  Her coworkers are griping about Weiss, but Weiss is sitting right across the table from her.  She has to toe the line between sympathizing with them while also not criticizing Weiss too much.

Weiss is obviously aware of what the officers and detectives call her behind her back.  She's too smart not to know how much they dislike her.  Of course, she revels in that dislike, knowing she's earned it by constantly beating them in the courtroom.  If anything, she probably interprets their ridicule as evidence that she's great at her job.  The more they hate me, the better I must be.  (Honestly, what a way to live…)

Ruby takes that mentality one step further and admits that Weiss is so good at her job that she actually makes the police department better.  Of course that's what Ruby thinks though...she's all about finding a good challenge, isn't she?

In case it wasn't obvious, Casey makes it pretty clear that Jez has a crush on Ruby.  He knows about it too, which is why he subtly teases her by pointing out how much Ruby enjoys a challenge.  If Ruby enjoys a challenge, and you want to get with her, shouldn’t you try to enjoy a challenge too?

Or maybe he’s suggesting that getting with Ruby will be the challenging part...since this completely flies over her head.  She's so smart, yet so oblivious...

But!  Easter egg time.  Did you recognize the restaurant name Stella's?  If you didn't, I wouldn't be surprised since it was only briefly mentioned in the second epilogue of Rush.

Stella's is where Ruby and Weiss' mom set up lunch after the events of Rush have unfolded and everything has settled down.  We didn't see that lunch (although it would be fascinating, I’m sure), but this is where Weiss and her mom reconnect for the first time after Weiss ran out on her wedding.

In COI, Ruby mentions Stella’s then awkwardly trails off, implying something happened at that restaurant that she doesn't want to tell Weiss about right now.  I like to think she feels awkward because she went on a date there once, and she doesn’t want to mention past dates with the girl she currently wants to date.  But mostly I put that in so that we’d think about the alternate universe where she's already married to Weiss and having lunch with Weiss' mom.  Also because it’s easier to reuse names than come up with new stuff all the time...

I just reread the part of Rush where they talk about Stella's and boy I could make a lot of updates to that story - again!  It's crazy how quickly and noticeably your writing can change from one story to the next.  No wonder some people write the same story over and over again.  It's like that saying about painting the Golden Gate Bridge - by the time you reach the end, you go back to the beginning and start all over again.

That's why I consider these practice stories.  Otherwise, I would be updating the same story over and over again versus writing anything new.  Eventually, that would probably get boring.  But it's something to keep in mind if I ever have time and want to put more effort into these old stories, especially the ones we all love.  Like when artists do redraws, only...bigger.

“Here’s the 1st version of Rush, circa 2013.  Here’s the 2018 version.  Here’s the 2021 version.”  Etc., etc.  That would be fun, wouldn’t it?  Also, incredibly time consuming.

Back to COI though…

Chapter 12 marks a bit of a rough patch.  We all knew this would happen eventually, but we didn't know what Ruby's reaction would be.  Well, I guess we could’ve guessed Ruby's reaction, but we finally get to see it play out.

At the beginning of the chapter, Weiss is fairly confident Ruby will accept her offer.  She wouldn't bring it up otherwise because she wouldn’t risk failure.  In her mind, it's a no-brainer.  Lots of money, challenge, and Ruby would still get to work with Yang.

That last part shows how considerate Weiss was of Ruby's feelings when crafting this offer.  Where she thinks she has a hook, however, she only scratched the surface of Ruby's motivations.

It's kind of sad, in a way, how excited she gets about the prospect of working together.  One could say she's just as oblivious as Ruby because she doesn't realize the real reason she wants to work with Ruby - because she fundamentally doesn't enjoy her job, clients, or coworkers. We can see that from her general disdain towards all of them.

In this chapter, her newest client garners some of that disdain.  I brought him in again so we know Weiss is still working in the background.  Otherwise, this story would be completely about Weiss & Ruby, and we wouldn't see anything about their jobs.  Their jobs are part of what make them so interesting though!  Especially how differently they work yet how amazing they are at that work.

Weiss’ case involves the restaurant owner who refuses to give her the information she needs.  Yet she's still solving the case despite his lack of help.  She's almost a detective, in a way.  Especially when her clients don't give her all the details or actively cover up embarrassing secrets.

In the restaurant owner’s case, he was having an affair with one of the busboys.  That busboy, however, was apparently in a relationship with the accuser/victim.  That seems a little sketchy, doesn't it?  Maybe he’ll make it out of this unscathed, after all...

What we care more about, and what Weiss cares more about, is recruiting Ruby to join the Dark Side.  Weiss really made this the best job offer possible though.  She requested way more money than Ruby would ever want, even though she knows money wasn't a determining factor.  Even if Ruby doesn't care about the salary, Weiss cares.  She wants to make sure Ruby's taken care of, and we later learn that she negotiated a huge raise for Yang as well.

Weiss only wants the title.  The title comes with prestige and respect, but she's really just out to spite her father.  (Again, what a way to live.)  Nothing makes this more clear than when she admits that she won't even seek out the biggest, most high-profile cases if that's not what Ruby wants to work on.  She’ll help others if that's what Ruby wants to do.  I thought this was a good way to show that she does have underlying morality that her coworkers lack.  She just needs the opportunity to show it.

I almost feel bad that she's so confident and assured this will go her way.  She picked the perfect restaurant, she crafted the perfect job offer, and she gained Ruby’s trust enough to feel like she has the best shot of anyone who has recruited Ruby so far.

Her biggest weakness is that she let herself get excited about working together.  This means she's not thinking as rationally or logically as she normally would.  For work, her emotions aren't involved, so she's at her best.  Now, she's already looking forward to getting lunch or dinner with Ruby all the time.  Pretty much dating, but she doesn't come right out and say that.

More evidence of how much she likes Ruby is that she's been reading every advanced technology article that comes across her path.  (This is a crush in its most basic form.)  She probably subscribed to random websites or blogs specializing in technology she's never shown any interest in before.

But she's interested in Ruby, so she's interested in learning about things Ruby might find interesting.  Not that they seem to have any problem finding things to talk about, but now she has even more subjects to bring up.  Like neural implants!

I wrote this before Cyberpunk came out, by the way.  So...clearly this was my idea first XD

How creepy would it be if you got this implant and started seeing dead people?  And they just stand around staring at you?  Ruby doesn't say if it can be reversed or not...I guess if they can be implanted, they can also be removed.

But what if they're too dangerous to remove?  That would be horrible.  I wouldn’t want to spend the rest of my life with creepy dead people staring at me.  Actually, I wouldn't want to spend a single second of my life like that!

Speaking of dead (what a segue) - so is Weiss’ recruitment attempt.

Obviously, it didn't go as planned.  Ruby thought they were just hanging out and becoming friends, so learning Weiss’ real intentions was probably an unpleasant surprise.  She quickly exits stage left and...now, we have to wait to see the fallout.

How will Ruby react now that she understands that she's been tricked?  And how will Weiss react to knowing that she hurt Ruby's feelings?  These answers, and more, will be here before you know it.  At least, that's how it feels to me whenever Thursday arrives and I'm proofreading yet another chapter.

I hope you're enjoying the story so far though!  I still really love it.  Something about how well they work together and how easily their conversations flow is really fun to read.  It was really fun to write too.  If I didn’t have to worry about moving the plot along, I could probably write a super long, rambling conversation between the two of them.  Just...chatting.  Being beautiful geniuses like always.

But...that's all I have for now.  It’s back to writing other stories for me, but thank you again for all of your support!  I’m really excited for our upcoming stories and oneshots.  :D

Until next time,

Miko