Star-Crossed - Chapter 18 (Patreon)

As sleep faded away and consciousness slowly returned, Blake opened her eyes and found herself in an unfamiliar room.  Her adrenaline instantly flared, and she would have jumped right out of bed had she not forced herself to remain calm and figure out where she was before taking any drastic actions.

Once she convinced herself to stay still, she probed the environment while memories of yesterday came back in waves.  Yang ‘stabbing’ Sun, only to save him in the process.  Blake being overcome by gratitude for the impossibly-gentle girl who somehow found herself in one of the hardest, most vicious groups in the galaxy.  And then...what came next.

It felt like there could be no more secrets between them after what happened, but that only made Blake’s secret loom larger.  She couldn’t tell Yang who she was.  Doing so would risk her mission, her life, and this - whatever this was.

Quietly turning onto her side, she opened one eye and found Yang still fast asleep.  Emboldened by the lack of oversight, she opened her other eye and allowed her gaze to roam freely over the ‘fearsome’ Blackguard commander at rest.

Her cheeks warmed at the sight of Yang’s scars, having kissed each and every one last night.  Her eyes then moved over Yang’s softest features before meeting the cold, hard metal extending nearly to her collarbone.  Her prosthetic arm served as intimidation and, in many cases, a weapon.  But last night...she proved that even the hardest parts of her could be remarkably soft.

It was that tender side of Yang, which Blake almost exclusively associated with the lilac eyes she was more and more drawn to, that made her imagine what this moment might be like if they were waking up anywhere but the Inferno.

What if Yang wasn’t one of the leaders of a criminal group?  What if Blake wasn’t an undercover agent sent to figure out their secrets and, ultimately, bring them to justice?  What if they were just two people who met by chance and happened to like each other?  What if there were no obstacles to them being together?  What if Blake could just lie here and relish how peaceful Yang looked while she slept?  What would that be like?

Unfortunately, Blake couldn’t whisk them to another world to find out, and daydreaming about it would do her no good.  What happened, happened.  Now she needed to move forward and figure out how it affected her mission.

But first, she had to leave before Yang woke up.  She couldn’t fool herself anymore - if Yang woke up and trained those lilac eyes on her, she would stay.  She would stay and pretend that they did live in an easier universe, one where they weren’t on opposing sides of the galactic divide between good and evil.

Fortunately, Yang was still fast asleep.  Seeing as how she probably hadn’t slept at all over the past couple of nights, she could use the catch-up, and Blake would use her slumber as an opportunity to slip out unnoticed.

First sliding out of bed, Blake held her breath and waited.  When Yang didn’t so much as rustle, she sighed and picked up her discarded clothing from the floor.  Having lost the warmth of the covers and Yang’s proximity, she shivered while pulling on her clothes as fast as possible.  Once decent, she added her armor on top, glancing Yang’s way every few seconds to make sure she wasn’t being too loud.

Apparently, Yang was a deep sleeper.  She didn’t so much as stir while Blake got dressed and hurried over to the door.  With her hand on the latch, however, she realized that she might never experience this again.  So she paused, turned around, and soaked in as much of the moment as possible.

Yang looked so peaceful, Blake wanted to crawl back into bed and sleep the day away.  She wanted to savor the warmth that their bodies shared.  She wanted to be there when Yang woke up and watch red or lilac eyes blink awake.  More than anything, she wanted to know what Yang thought of her now.  After last night, were those feelings still there?  Or had the chase been satisfied by its conclusion?

Shaking away those thoughts, Blake opened the door and made sure the hall was empty before slipping out of the room.  After closing the door as quietly as she opened it, she sighed and hurried away from the officers’ quarters.  The last thing she wanted was for someone to catch her sneaking out of Yang’s room early in the morning.  Fortunately, the halls were empty, and she made it to the crew’s quarters without meeting a single soul.

The crew’s quarters were much more lively, but that didn’t bother her in the slightest.  Her presence here wouldn’t provoke questions about what she was doing…or who.

Sighing yet again, she searched for a distraction - any distraction would do.  Anything to keep her mind off of Yang.  As luck had it, just such a distraction appeared in the form of Ret slinking out of the room that most of the crew affectionately called ‘the happy place.’

“Ret…”

As soon as he heard her voice, he cringed and turned around.

“Please don’t tell Em,” were the first words out of his mouth, but Blake shook her head.

“I don’t have to tell her.  She’ll know as soon as she sees you.”

All Blake had to do was wave at him for his skin to grow a darker shade of blue, emphasizing her point.

“I was going to hide in my room until it wore off…” he admitted.  When she shook her head and walked past the room filled with drugs, he fell into step by her side.  “I was!” he insisted, though his skin gave him away again.  “And I’ll try to be better.  It’s just...hard.”

“You know how bad that stuff is for you.”  She nodded towards his hands, which trembled uncontrollably from stim overexposure.  “Pilots need steady hands.”

It was a low blow, but she knew how much he looked up to Emerald.  If he wanted to be a pilot, he had to get his habit under control, which meant that, one day, he had to face his past.

“I can still fly like this!  Probably not very good...but I still could.”

With Ret offering excuses, Blake realized what a chore this must be for Emerald to put up with.  He was young and not exceptionally bright, or he was bright but the constant haze of drugs dumbed him down.  Honestly, she was surprised Emerald hadn’t floated him herself by now.

“You realize she’s worried about you,” Blake pointed out while leading him towards the rec room.  “If she wasn’t, she wouldn’t care if you took ten of those.”  After tapping the empty wrapper in his hands, she set her hand on his shoulder and met his eyes.  “I know you don’t want to remember, but at some point...we all have to move on, and I don’t think this is the best way to do it.”

When he frowned but remained silent, she hoped that he was seriously considering his decisions.  Of course, his ability to reach an epiphany was hampered at the moment, so she wasn’t surprised when he grinned.

“Did you know I can fly now?”

“Like a bird?” she asked, understanding that their prior conversation was over.

“Like a ship!” he corrected her.  “Em said she’d teach me more next time we stop.  I just have to pay her again, but that’s no big deal.  I’ve been winning a lot at cards recently.”

“Have you?”

Blake glanced at him to check the lie, but his skin maintained a steadfast shade of light blue.

“Guess I’ve been lucky!”

Having seen him play, she knew he would have to be the luckiest person in the universe to win more than a couple of random hands off of Emerald and Mercury.  If he was winning often, then they must have finally decided to take pity on him...suggesting Emerald didn’t hate him half as much as she claimed.

“Then you might be our future pilot,” Blake said before pointing towards his hands.  “As long as you get those shakes under control.”

When he curled his fingers into fists, they shook like a new recruit on their first day of live training - not exactly confidence inspiring.

“Keep working on it, Ret.  I believe in you.”  After offering a smile of encouragement, she walked over to the rec room door, peeked inside, and found Mercury lounging at one of the tables.  “Why don’t you hang out with Mercury?” she asked with a nod his way.  “I’m sure Emerald will be here soon.”

“You want to hang too?” Ret immediately offered, but she shook her head.

“I have some work to do, but maybe later.”

“Maybe you can help me clean some phasers too?  They’re, uh, piling up.”

When he swept a hand across his smooth head, shaking even more in the process, she knew exactly how the weapons had piled up.

“Sure,” she agreed anyway.  “I will if I can.”

“Thanks, Blake.  I mean, new girl.”

With a parting grin that made the name slip seem intentional, he ducked into the rec room and headed over to Mercury.

Glad that someone else could babysit him for a while, Blake shook her head and walked to her room.  With everything that had happened over the past couple of days - Zimon, Drideter, Sun, Yang - her work on the ship had ground to a standstill.  Most concerningly, her work on the maps hadn’t progressed as much as she would have liked.

Knowing that Adam would want them finished soon, she needed to redouble her efforts.  As soon as she entered her cabin, however, her thoughts returned to Yang.  She had no idea how her room reminded her of Yang, especially when their interactions here had lasted mere seconds, yet it did.

Trying to keep her mind from wandering too far, she went to her bag and fished out her lifeline to Command.  Knowing what Yang did yesterday, she no longer felt that pit of anguish in her stomach over what happened to Sun.  Still...she needed to confirm he made it back to base alright.  To do that, she sent a brief status request and specified that she wanted a response as soon as possible.

Seeing as how ‘as soon as possible’ could be an hour or two, she nearly put the device away before it buzzed in her hand.  As soon as she read the response - a simple ‘reported back’ - she sat at her desk and smiled at one of the best messages she had ever received.

Sun survived.  He made it back to ISA, which meant he would be just fine...thanks to Yang.

Yang’s name threatened to unleash the emotions swirling in Blake’s chest, so she shook her head and pulled over the maps she had left to transcribe.  It took several minutes of staring at the faded runes before her notes made sense, and several more minutes before she felt comfortable enough to continue.

Fortunately, her ability to read Valerian came back with more clarity after every subsequent map, and finishing one map made the next that much easier.  She had created a dictionary, of sorts, of the most frequently used words.  Once she found those and copied the translation over, she struggled through the remaining runes as best she could.

Progress was steady, even though she had no idea what purpose the words and values held.  Several of the legends referenced a forge of some kind, but all of them mentioned a key.  What she couldn’t figure out was what type of key or where to find it.

Fortunately, that task hadn’t been left up to her, because she clearly lacked vital information in determining exactly how these mines operated.  Unfortunately, once she settled into a rhythm of matching words to near-invisible lines on the page, her mind drifted to Yang.

Anything physical between them had to stop, but she didn’t know if she could help herself.  In an environment where everyone seemed out to get her, being around someone she...trusted...was such a relief.

After what happened yesterday, she had no reason not to trust Yang anymore.  Even if the situation seemed dire, she had to trust that Yang would do her best to protect her morals and, in many instances, to protect Blake.

That knowledge only made the situation worse.  Because how would Blake repay those favors?  How would she repay the person who saved not only her life but her best friend’s life as well?

By testifying.

She would sit across from Yang, in front of a judge, and detail every illegal activity she witnessed.  And, no matter how much she stressed the good, she would be forced to recount the bad as well.

The thought soured her stomach and convinced her more than ever that Yang had to turn on the Blackguards.  If she agreed to testify, ISA would offer amnesty or a reduced sentence.  If that happened, then maybe...maybe they could still see each other in some way.  Maybe there were lives for both of them after this.

Reaching the bottom of another map, Blake sighed and made sure she’d transcribed every mark before moving on.  Missing a single rune would be a small mistake, but she didn’t want to know what harm might befall her due to such a ‘harmless’ error.

Once confident everything was complete, she continued to the next map and wondered if last night could also be considered a harmless mistake.  Her emotions had been running at an all-time high, what with thinking that Sun was dead, that Yang killed him, then learning that Yang actually saved his life.  After such emotional whiplash, of course she responded...impulsively.

But that didn’t explain their kiss in the bar.

While writing ‘key’ for what felt like the hundredth time, she realized that she could make as many excuses as she wanted.  No matter what justification she came up with, the truth was simple - last night happened because she wanted it to.  Yang hadn’t forced her.  Yang hadn’t even solicited it - Blake was the one leading that charge.

Yang’s sharp edges and soft interior drew her in, and last night proved that Yang’s hardness was only skin deep.  As soon as that armor came off, she was one of the most tender, sensitive people Blake had ever met - a personality more fitting for an untarnished soul who’d never experienced the evils of the universe rather than a Blackguard captain who’d experienced god-knows-what.

The door buzzer ended that thought, and she willingly accepted the distraction as she went to answer.  When the door opened and revealed Yang standing outside, however, she realized that she might have been better off pretending not to be there.

“Um...yes?”

Glancing into the hall as if that might explain why Yang was there, Blake saw nothing other than a few random crew members nearby.

“Hey, can I come in?”

Backing out of the way, Blake waved Yang through the doorway and hesitated before pushing the button to close the door behind her.

“Surprised you asked,” Blake said while Yang stood in the middle of the room.  “Most people just let themselves in,” she elaborated when sent an inquisitive glance.  “Usually to wake me up in the middle of the night and force me to fight a stranger, but that’s to be expected.”

“Ah shoot - that’s right.”

Motioning Blake out of the way, Yang returned to the door and tapped the door panel.  After a few button presses, a control screen popped up, and she set her hand on the scanner before backing away.

“She shouldn’t be able to get in here anymore,” she explained when Blake gave her a curious look.  “I locked out everyone below me, which includes her so…”

From the way Yang trailed off and looked away, she wanted to play it off as nothing even though it wasn’t.

“Well now I can sleep with both eyes closed,” was all Blake said before letting it go.  “Did you need something?”

That was the only reason Yang would seek her out - if the Blackguards needed something.  At least, that was what Blake told herself while standing in front of the desk, crossing her arms to make sure she kept them to herself.

“Adam wants an update.”

When Yang nodded at the maps, Blake sighed.  The mere mention of Adam destroyed any semblance of butterflies in her chest, but that was probably a good thing.

“I just finished one, but there are a few left.  I don’t know if you noticed, but they’re hardly readable.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

Yang’s eyes lightened with the offer, and her sincerity made Blake uncross her arms and wish they were standing closer.

“I wish…” she mused, unable to turn away from Yang’s gaze.  “But unless you can go back in time and bring me new copies...”

“Sorry, all out of time travel potions,” Yang replied with a smile that grew when Blake chuckled.

“Then I’ll just have to keep working.”

“Ok.  Just...know that, after our drop at Drideter, he’s turned his full attention back to this.”

Without Yang going into more detail, Blake understood what was being said - her time to translate in the peace of her room was nearing its end.  If she didn’t hurry, she would be finishing the work with a phaser to her head.

“Got it.  It shouldn’t take long - there’s only a few left.”

“Good.”

Yang nodded but didn’t move towards the door.  Instead, she stood there long enough that Blake realized their conversation wasn’t over - and there was only one other subject she could imagine Yang wanting to discuss.

“So…” Yang began before clearing her throat.  “You, uh, slipped out early.”

“Sorry, I didn’t want to make things...”  When Yang stepped closer, Blake unwittingly paused before adding a quiet, “Awkward.”

“Why would it be awkward?  We’re both adults.”

“Yes, but you’re...”

Faced with a swell of uncertainty, she motioned at Yang and let her fill in the blank.

“In charge of you?” Yang asked.  Although not quite what Blake was going for, she nodded.  “But you’ve already proven that I’m not,” Yang pointed out.  “If I was, you’d listen when I tell you what to do.”

“I listen sometimes.  When appropriate...”

“And when do you find something appropriate?”

When Yang took another step forward, Blake’s grasp on self-control began slipping away.

“When it’s something I want to do...”

The softness in her tone was unintentional and driven entirely by Yang’s proximity.  And the moment Yang set her hands on Blake’s hips, she knew there was no way she would resist.  Not with lilac eyes trained upon her.  Not with the strangely captivating sensation of soft and hard on each of her sides.

She didn’t know who initiated, but the next second their lips collided in a kiss that picked up where they left off last night.  The desire and longing in Yang’s touch spoke to her in exactly the right way, setting a fire loose in her chest that burned hotter when Yang pressed closer.

For someone so adept at pushing people away, Yang wasted no opportunity to feel every bit of Blake that she could get her hands on.  Whether touch-starved or just greedy, Blake didn’t know and didn’t care.  What mattered was that Yang clearly wanted her, and enjoyed wanting her.

The feeling was mutual.

When Yang pressed closer, backing Blake into the edge of the desk, that didn’t slow them in the slightest.  Their kisses only grew more fervent as Yang reached down and effortlessly lifted Blake onto the desk.  Not one to be outdone, Blake wrapped her legs around Yang’s to keep her close, even though there was no threat of her leaving.  Not with her hands gripping Blake’s sides as if she never wanted to let go.

“Is this something you want to do?” Yang slipped in between kisses before trailing more down Blake’s jaw and landing upon her neck.  If Yang expected an answer, the soft moan that slipped through Blake’s lips should be more than enough.

If this wasn’t something Blake wanted to do, she would push Yang away.  She wouldn’t pull Yang closer and tilt her head in hope that Yang kept kissing her neck.  She wouldn’t have her hands underneath Yang’s armor searching for as much soft, warm skin as she could find.

She wanted nothing more than to lose herself to Yang right now, and surrendered every bit of control when Yang’s hands began to wander.  From her hips, up her thighs, across her stomach, before crawling up her ribcage - her skin burned with desire wherever Yang’s hand was, and tingled with anticipation wherever it might go next.

Then Yang lightly bit down on her neck, right at her pulse point, and she dropped her head back and moaned.  The sound encouraged Yang to try again, harder this time, with louder results.  With yet another weakness uncovered, Yang smiled against Blake’s neck before moving lower and biting down yet again.

“Fuck…” Blake breathed out, pressing her hand to the desk to steady herself while Yang sent desire racing through her veins.

She was ready for a repeat of last night, but then her hand slipped on a stack of papers and everything she’d been working on fell to the floor.  The resulting ruckus was enough to make Yang pull away to survey the mess while Blake’s cheeks warmed with embarrassment.

“Didn’t realize you wanted to get those involved,” Yang joked, gently wiping her thumb across Blake’s neck before returning her hands to Blake’s sides.  “But if you’re into it, I’m all for it.”

“More like I don’t want them anywhere near me while doing...that.”

While Yang grinned at the admission that that was where they were headed, Blake released Yang’s legs and motioned that she’d like to get down.  When Yang obediently stepped out of the way, Blake wasted no time collecting the papers while also collecting her breath.

Her heartbeat didn’t slow a bit when Yang knelt beside her to help, but they still had the papers gathered and neatly stacked on the desk in no time.  Fortunately, her bout of clumsiness had ended what was quickly headed down the same path as last night, although she wasn’t sure if she was relieved or disappointed by the result.

“Thank you,” she told Yang, opting to put that moment behind them.

“No problem.”

After a brief smile, Yang opened her mouth to say something only to close it and shake her head.

“What is it?” Blake asked even though she knew it could be something she didn’t want to answer.

“It’s nothing, really…”  It was clearly something, but Yang only continued when Blake motioned for her to spit it out.  “Ok, I wanted to ask you for something.”

Considering what just happened, Blake raised a brow at the question.  “Is this when your kinks come out?” she asked, and Yang actually cracked a smile in return.

“Seems like the time, right?”

“You’re into weapon polish,” Blake teased.  “Knew it.”

“I do like how it smells…”  Trailing off with another soft laugh, Yang searched for the words before eventually spitting it out.  “I was just wondering if...maybe...we could hug?”

Surprised by the request, Blake’s first response was to scoff, but she quickly changed tactics when she realized Yang was both serious and embarrassed.

“Really?”

“Nevermind -”  Yang tried to turn away, but Blake caught her by the arm.

“I didn’t say no,” Blake pointed out while turning Yang back to her.  “I’m just...surprised.”

The response did nothing to ease Yang’s shame, so Blake shook her head, reached over, and pulled Yang into a hug.  As soon as her arms wrapped around Yang’s shoulders and their bodies melded together, however, she understood why this felt like such a big request.

Sex was for pleasure, but a hug was for...comfort.  That might be why, out of everything that had happened between them, this felt the most intimate.  The most disarming.  Blake had never thought about it before, but hugging someone - and allowing a hug in return - was vulnerable, in a way.

When Yang sighed, wrapped her arms around Blake’s waist, and rested her chin on Blake’s shoulder, Blake realized how nice it was.  Yang was soft, warm, and very, very...fragile.  Those qualities contrasted with the unyielding metal of her arm, but when they were together like this, it was easy to forget that even existed.

“Last person I hugged was my sister,” Yang whispered before pulling away, her eyes as purple as Blake had ever seen them.  This vision of her was so soft that Blake realized she would do anything to protect her.  To save her.

It was the cardinal sin of going undercover; Blake’s training had harped upon it repeatedly.  No matter what was said, no matter what happened, these people couldn’t be saved.

But she didn’t agree with that anymore.  Some of them couldn’t be saved, that was true.  But Yang...Yang had a goodness in her that begged for redemption, if only someone gave her the chance.  Blake wanted to give her that chance.  And, as with almost interaction they’d had so far, she knew Yang wouldn’t let her down.

“You don’t have to answer...” Blake began carefully, knowing that she was about to step dangerously close to a line Yang might not be ready to cross.  “But...have you ever thought about leaving?”

When Yang didn’t immediately pick up on what Blake was asking, she motioned towards the wall of the ship.

“The Blackguards?” Yang clarified before sighing and shaking her head.  “All the time, but I don’t have the resources to look for Ruby by myself.  Besides, I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because Adam’s made it pretty clear - if I leave, he’ll track me down and kill me.”  After a brief pause, Yang met Blake’s gaze with a sad one of her own. “If I can find Ruby, then maybe...things can change.  At least, that’s what I used to think.  Who knows if that’s true anymore...”

The responses on the tip of Blake’s tongue encouraged Yang to consider it further, but she swallowed those words and offered a simple smile and nod instead.

“Does that mean you want to leave?” Yang suddenly asked.

“No.”  Blake quickly shook her head for good measure.  “I was just...curious.”

Fortunately, Yang didn’t dig too deeply into why Blake asked such a question.  Instead, she nodded and met Blake’s gaze.

“Good.  Adam won’t let you leave either - not until you give him those maps, so...please don’t try before then.”  Yang’s eyes suggested that she had much more to say than that, but she also refused to put those thoughts into the open right now.  “I should let you get back to work,” she said instead.

“You can stay, if you want.”  When Blake motioned towards the bed - the only other place to sit beside the desk - Yang looked that way and considered the offer.

“I...shouldn’t,” she eventually said, much to Blake’s disappointment.

“Oh...ok.”

“Not that I don’t want to,” Yang added.  “But I just...I shouldn’t.”

Without elaboration, Blake understood the reason, even if it was still disappointing.  Yang shouldn’t be caught spending all day with her - by Adam or anyone else.  That would lead to rumors, and rumors could lead to something much worse.

“But I’ll come back later?” Yang asked with a hopeful look.  “Later tonight, maybe?”

“You’ll come back here?” Blake asked before a disbelieving glance around her room.  “To my tiny cabin?”

“I’ve been told it’s...intimate...”

When Yang stepped closer and smiled, her lilac eyes seemed to smile with her.  And, in that moment, Blake would have agreed to just about anything Yang wanted.

But when Yang could have asked for anything, she didn’t ask for much.  Leaning forward, she pressed a soft, gentle kiss to Blake’s cheek before opening the door.

“I’ll see you later,” she said before stepping into the hall and closing the door behind her.

Left in a suddenly-empty room, Blake stared at the door while her cheek tingled where Yang’s lips just touched.  Even though the feelings swirling in her chest weren’t conducive to working in any way, shape, or form, she would have to try.

But she already knew that if Yang showed up at her door tonight - when Yang showed up at her door tonight - she would let her in.  No matter how she tried to talk herself out of it, no matter how she tried to resist it, she couldn’t.  So she might as well not even try.

If she made it through the rest of these maps, maybe she could even consider it a reward...