What Defines Us - Commentary - Ch. 31-32 (Patreon)

Alright, everyone take a deep breath before we jump into this commentary, which covers probably two of the most important chapters in the story!  Actually, I don’t even know if that’s true...but right now it feels true.  What I can definitely say is that the end of Chapter 31 is one of my favorite moments, but we’ll get to that later.

By now, you’ve suffered through yet another cliffhanger and lived to tell the tale!  I should make some badges or something...ones that say, ‘I survived’ with a little picture of a person hanging off a cliff?  Those would be pretty sweet, right?  Ok, another thing to add to my list!

But now - commentary.

Chapter 31 begins with Weiss already on her way to meet her teammates, skipping the entire day she spent trying to figure out what she would do regarding telling Ruby the truth.  This was a conscious decision on my part, because I didn’t want to show an entire chapter of Weiss second guessing herself.  As fun as that would be, an entire chapter might be a little much.  Instead, I created a brief summary of the turmoil she’s struggled with, and the little ways she’s convinced herself to merely go to Beacon.

Throughout the story, Weiss has done a pretty good job of avoiding the past.  The past means memories, and memories mean guilt, pain, and loss.  By this point, however, she’s started to make progress - with Ruby, with Yang, with Blake, and - maybe most importantly - with herself.  I decided it was time to put her progress to the test, and really put her under pressure from the past she’s done everything to run away from.

At some point, she needs to confront those demons in order to truly get better.  What better way than to take her back to Beacon and encourage her to finally tell the truth?

When I set out to write this chapter, I already had the ending in mind.  But I hope that when you read it, you wondered what decision Weiss would make in the end!  I did my best to write as if she didn’t know what she was going to do - although she was leaning towards not saying anything just to keep the status quo.

Yang, however, expects Weiss to tell the truth.  I added that little moment right at the airship landing to highlight their different personalities even more.  To Yang, this is a simple decision - you tell Ruby.  Ruby deserves to know, so you just tell her.  There’s no wondering what the right answer is - that’s the right answer.

While I find Yang’s commitment to doing the right thing for those she loves to be really admirable, sometimes situations aren’t that easy when you’re involved.  Personally, I lean more towards Weiss’ indecisiveness and unwillingness to ‘rock the boat,’ so to speak.  So in this chapter, I empathize more with Weiss - although I can also understand Yang’s position.

Now, I know that some people believe that Ruby will see something or hear something and suddenly get her memories back.  I’m not saying if that’ll happen or not, but I did write the moment where they walk past the pillars where Ruby and Weiss first met with those people in mind.  I wanted them to hold their breaths just like Weiss did - waiting for that flash of recognition that wouldn’t come.  Cruel, I know!  But when I know what you expect to happen, it’s hard not to play off of some of those expectations.

But I also put in a very subtle Easter egg around that point in the chapter!  Am I allowed to call them that?  I guess I can call them whatever I want.  Since this is a very, very subtle one, I’m going to call it a quail egg - because quail eggs are smaller than regular eggs.

Quail egg alert!  Yang makes a comment about sneaking into their old dorm room, and Blake asks why they would do that.  Yang’s answer - ‘to mess with the freshies’ - is a light reference to a oneshot I wrote called…(I can’t even remember the name, so I don’t know how I ever created a quail egg for it).  

The Haunted Room!  (I looked it up.)

If you haven’t read that yet, you should - and then let me know how dumb (or awesome) my quail egg is.

Quail eggs aside (I’ve written so much fan fiction and I haven’t gotten to type the word ‘quail’ once, so I’m making up for it now!) - as Team RWBY walks through campus, Weiss is inundated by all these memories attached to the buildings they’re passing and pointing out to Ruby.

Initially, the walk through campus was really short.  It was like ‘building, building, building, nothing specific, arena!’  That’s what happens sometimes in early versions of chapters - they’re still folded up and have room to grow.  

I like to compare it to a balled up piece of paper.  The first version of a chapter or a story is just a balled up piece of paper.  You can see that it’s paper, and maybe you can get some details that are written on the outside, but the story is still inside there somewhere.  Start unfolding pieces and you discover more, then keep unfolding and unfolding until you’ve revealed as much as you want.  

Same thing with this chapter.  The first edition was still a bit folded up, but when I went through it again I realized there were emotions that could be explored on the walk to the arena.  Again, I already knew what I wanted the ending to be, so everything else before then was free to be unfolded and smoothed out as much as possible.  I’m really glad I did, because that gave me the opportunity to show a glimpse of how White Rose became a couple the first time.

‘Ruby, get down here right now!’ 

‘Not until you say you’ll go out with me!’

‘Sure!  Fine!  Whatever you want, just get down here!’

Three lines, and I felt they fit the characters so well.  I especially love Weiss’ thought about that day:

Who would’ve thought that what Weiss needed was someone to love her so loudly...so unabashedly...that they’d literally shout it from the rooftops?

This is pretty much what I feel Weiss needs based on how she grew up and the pressure she’s lived with.  Sure, she’ll always act disgruntled when Ruby does these big acts of love for her, but she secretly enjoys it.  It assures her that Ruby’s feelings are real - unlike the fakeness of her childhood.

Ah, even I’m feeling run down by all the emotions and memories tied to Beacon...no wonder Weiss is growing increasingly quiet the further they walk.  Notice that Blake and Ruby pick up on Weiss’ feelings here - Blake because she’s pretty attuned to everything that’s going on, but Ruby because she’s close enough to Weiss to be able to do that now.

On the way to the arena, we have three different teams that our girls run into - three added wrinkles that were discovered.

CVFY was unfolded first - because I wanted to bring Coco and Velvet back into the story after their appearance in Chapter 1.  Even though they don’t really say anything here, they already played an important role by saving Weiss’ life in the first chapter (which we now know happened because Winter sent them into the forest to find Weiss).

Cardin was next - because I wanted a direct ‘threat’ to Ruby’s past being revealed by Beacon’s resident bully.  That’s what he intended to do, too, but Yang cut that off pretty quick.

Ren and Nora were the last editions in terms of outside teams.  At first, I didn’t think I could include them because Team JNPR had to drop out in order for Team RWBY to be invited last minute.  Then I realized I needed announcers for the actual tournament (Chapter 32) and who better to have as announcers than Nora’s hyperactivity and Ren’s calm?

But I already had JNPR drop out!  Thankfully, everything is fixable with a little imagination.  JNPR had to drop out as a team, but that doesn’t mean their entire team needs to go on a hunt.  If Jaune and Pyrrha went, that would leave their other teammates without anyone to compete with.  Voila!  Problem solved - now Nora and Ren could commentate, and they could also run into Ruby outside of the arena.

If Cardin was the bully who might spill the beans, Nora was the loose cannon who might spill the beans.  This was another moment to make you think that the truth might come from someone other than Weiss.  Meanwhile, poor Weiss is having lots of mini heart attacks.

Quail egg!  Nora asks Ruby if she’d like some olives - which is a completely random question...or is it?  In Chapter 27, Weiss remembers that Nora and Ruby had an olive-eating competition that made Ruby never want to eat olives again - something Ruby now forgets.  

Now I’m wondering who won that competition the first time...logic says it would be Nora, who’s probably so determined to win any competition that she’d go way overboard in her pursuit.

And then, we have the pre-designed moment for Ruby and Weiss to have a moment together - which was created as I searched for a way to get Yang and Blake to temporarily leave them alone.  So Yang found Professor Oobleck and made something up for me!  How sweet of her.

Again, we have master-puppeteer Blake hard at work.  This time, she convinces Yang that they need to ease up the pressure on Weiss a bit.  The stress of Beacon is already enough - asking her to tell Ruby the truth is too much to expect.  Ironically, this is exactly what Weiss thought to herself at the beginning of the chapter.

This moment didn’t exist in the first iteration.  Blake and Yang didn’t give Weiss a pass.  They expected her to tell Ruby right up until their team was called for the tournament.  I wish I still had that version of it, but what I remember is that Yang mouthed, ‘what the hell’ to Weiss on the way out.  Not only did Weiss let Ruby down, but she let Blake and Yang down again too.

As great as that was, I didn’t want to piss Yang off again - so I used Blake to talk some sense into her.  Again, viola!  Yang lets Weiss off the hook.

Why didn’t I want to make Yang mad again?  Well, because we already went through that part of the story and I didn’t want to move backward.  Plus, Yang had her moments to be the center of the angst - and it’s not her moment anymore.

This is Ruby’s moment - in almost every sense of the word.  When they walk into the waiting area where the rest of the huntsmen are, she’s made it back.  She’s one of them again, surrounded by people who can only be considered her peers.  She’s a little starstruck, but that just shows how much she’s looked forward to this her entire life.

And then the moment you’ve been waiting for arrives - Ruby and Weiss have another private conversation.  Did you think Weiss might do it now?  That she might tell Ruby the truth?  Well, she never gets the chance because Ruby totally steals her breath away with a kiss.  A kiss, but also a few good punches right in the guilt-box:

“She didn’t show up, but you did.  That means a lot to me, Weiss.” 

Ouch, ouch, ouch.  That hurt a lot, Ruby!

Then Team RWBY is called in, and Weiss stays behind.  I’m so curious as to what you thought at this point.  Did you think that they’d fight without her?  Did you think she’d watch from the stands or something?  Maybe Ruby gets hurt and Weiss flips out?

Instead, she runs outside to be away from the other huntsmen staring at her.  But is that really why she ran outside?  No, not really.  

She ran outside because I needed to get her weapon to her somehow!  As dramatic as it would be to have a weapon locker crash through the stadium, well...that seemed a bit destructive.

Are you thinking - whaaat?  Really?  Well, yes, really!  I literally had her run outside so that she could call in her weapon locker without causing destruction.  And she had to call in her locker because she couldn’t carry Myrtenaster onto Beacon’s grounds without being super suspicious.  Wearing combat clothing was one thing.  Carrying around a weapon was another.

Once outside (so she can get her weapon…), she does the same breathing/counting thing she does in Chapter 3.  But did you notice how different it is this time?  She only needs two counts before she grows calmer and more clear-headed.  She doesn’t freak out and run, like in that chapter.  Instead, she relaxes and thinks through her options.

A breeze kicked up outside - cold enough to raise goosebumps along her arms while she struggled with her internal demons.

Did you notice this part?  

Who else has a fascination with breezes - what they symbolize and who they’re from?  

Ruby.  Throughout this story, Ruby believes that her mom communicates through the wind.  By mentioning the breeze here, I wanted to hint that Summer is still watching over them - and trying to give Weiss a little nudge of encouragement.

I love the end of this chapter so much, because this is when Weiss finally realizes that she’s not broken.  She doesn’t have to be guilty forever.  She made mistakes, but that’s not who she has to be for the rest of her life.  She’s capable of being someone better.

And I even got to make a callback to the title - which should’ve really hammered in the point that this was a huge moment.

Mistakes don’t define you.  Your reactions to them do.

If anyone is interested in hearing the song that I most closely associate with the final moments of this chapter, listen to Everdream by Epic Soul Factory.  It’s one of my favorite writing songs!  I can’t listen to it without seeing Weiss outside the stadium figuring out what she’s capable of - who she wants to be and who she can be - before tearing through the halls to find Ruby.

When she finds Ruby, we reach the next chapter - where Ruby is, of course, thinking that Weiss just made a kind gesture to fill in for the teammate who never showed up.

Who cared if her partner had been too busy to make the trip?  Weiss showed up, like she always did.  Whenever Ruby needed something, Weiss was there to be supportive or encouraging or just really, really pretty to look at.

This paragraph might be overlooked by some, but what it’s saying is that Weiss is being supportive now.  This entire time, she’s been beating herself up about what happened in the past, but Ruby actually considers her to be a great source of support.  We’ve seen snippets of it - how she’s willing to do anything for Ruby - and we see even more of it throughout the battles in this chapter.  Weiss supports Ruby fully - by giving her pointers on the Grimm and encouraging her, telling her that she can win these battles.

One thing I like about writing from the two different points of view is that it allows you to show how one character feels about themselves versus how other characters perceive them.  In this case, Weiss believes herself to be a failure who wasn’t there when Ruby needed her.  She doesn’t see how much Ruby loves having her around for support now - and just how supportive she’s been so far.  

Before we get into the actual fighting, there was another question I thought readers might be asking, and I finally answered it here.  If Ruby ever knew her team name, wouldn’t she connect the dots between the missing ‘W’ and a girl named ‘Weiss?’  Well, yes.  She might have.  

But what if she never saw her team name in written form?  What if Yang or Blake said, “Yeah, we were called Team RWBY.”  What sounds exactly like RWBY?  RUBY.  And wouldn’t that be the most logical spelling for a girl named Ruby to make?  Personally, I’d never think ‘oh yeah, it should be spelled with a ‘W.’’

This was my way of adding another reason why Ruby never saw this coming.  If she was trying to figure out who her partner was (which we’ve seen that she hasn’t really tried to do), she would look for someone with a name beginning with ‘U.’  Umber?  Ursula?

Regardless!  Can I take a moment and pat myself on the back for Weiss’ ‘best teammate you ever had’ comment?  It fit so well in that moment!  I was pretty happy about that - I loved meshing a really important moment in the show with a really important moment in this story.

Some people might complain about how Ruby was told about the past and doesn’t have time to adequately freak out, but that was the entire point (of how I wrote it).  Sure, Weiss didn’t exactly choose the best moment, but maybe she accidentally did.  Because Ruby has to focus on fighting, her attention is drawn away from the bombshell that was just dropped.  She keeps coming back to it every once in a while, but the Grimm kind of...dampen the full effect, if that makes sense.

Instead of a Ruby freak out chapter, we have a semi-freak out chapter with lots of fighting!

I wish I still had the original chapter of this one too - because it was just five rounds of fighting on a flat, empty surface.  It was in my second round of editing that I realized that was a little too plain.  I needed a surprise to spice things up, but I’d already written the entire chapter with a flat surface.  

Thankfully, life finds a way.  And I found a way!

They could still have a flat surface, but why can’t that surface move?  And so, I added the parts about the moving arena to add more excitement to the battles (more parts of the story unfolded, you see).

The initial tournament was going to be setup similar to the one they had in the show - with team fighting, individual fighting, and then a skills competition.  Ultimately, that sounds very, very complicated.  It was hard enough to come up with rules for just the team fighting.  Can you imagine how complicated it would be if I tried to explain all these other battles and tournaments going on at the same time?  Too complex, so I stuck to a simple tournament that was more for show than anything else.

I actually kind of like this chapter, which doesn’t happen very often - especially not when combat is involved!  But I think each character got a chance to show off - Yang with the Beowolves, Blake with the Death Stalker, Weiss got to use Ronnie, and Ruby destroyed that giant mech.

The Death Stalkers were probably my favorite round because those are the Grimm that triggered Weiss on the hunt.  That’s why Yang gives her a warning to keep her cool, which she does.  And then she even asks if Ruby wants to ‘try something new.’

Now this is interesting - because we have to imagine that Ruby has used Weiss’ glyphs a million times in the past.  But Weiss still calls it ‘new’ because she’s speaking to this version of Ruby, not the past version of Ruby.  I added this as another measure of progress.  Weiss isn’t having as hard a time differentiating between the two anymore.  Throughout this chapter, even, she offers Ruby advice knowing that these are Grimm Ruby has ‘never’ faced before.  Weiss’ pointers come from Ruby’s past, but she speaks to Ruby in the present.

Isn’t that cool though??  Maybe I’m the only one who feels this way, but I just love thinking of the growth Weiss has gone through in this story so far.  And Ruby...Ruby’s back to doing amazing things no one’s ever seen before, just like Blake alluded to in Chapter 30.

Two small quail eggs here - two references to other stories when Ruby takes on the machine in round five: the first is that she crouches down in sprinter’s stance (in Rush, she’s a track sprinter!).  The second is when she says “Ember One, this is Ember Two - coming in hot -” which is a reference to Red Carpet Romance - where those are the codenames Yang and Ruby have for each other.

Another thing I’d like to point out is the pop that Ruby describes when she skewers that poor machine with Crescent Rose.  I didn’t call too much attention to it in the chapter because Ruby doesn’t realize what’s happening.  But isn’t that the same sound she describes hearing in the hunt they went on way back in chapter like...18?  Right when she goes Super Ruby and destroys all those Grimm?

Well...here it is again.  She doesn’t realize what she’s done - but the commentators make it a little more clear after the fact by saying that no one really saw what happened.  Meaning that Ruby went Super Ruby and broke time, basically.

While Ruby might not understand how good she is, she finally realizes that she can reach her goal of becoming a huntress - just like Weiss realized that she was capable of telling Ruby the truth.  

I’m so proud of both of them!  I hope you’re also proud of the progress they’ve made.  Look at them growing and becoming stronger - both as individuals and with each other.  Obviously, there’s still a lot of talking that needs to be done, but now the rest of the story has been set in motion.  The end game is upon us!  (Yes, I have sixteen chapters of endgame.)

Until next time,

Miko