What Defines Us - Ch. 21 (Patreon)

The doors took far too long to slide open, but the instant they did Weiss stepped through and stalked quickly down the ramp and away from the ship.  Unlike the relative calm and quiet that had surrounded her for the entirety of the mentally-tumultuous trip, the large airship terminal beyond the doors was crowded and noisy - filled with other passengers rushing to and from their destinations.  Businessmen, businesswomen, families, students...everyone with their own lives and objectives. Everyone with their own stories, their own secrets.

Picking her way amongst the crowd - doing her best to dodge suitcases and slow-moving travelers - she headed towards the exit.  Determined to leave this place as soon as humanly possible, she kept her eyes trained straight ahead - refusing to turn her head to take in the sights around her.  The never-ending sounds were already becoming an assault on her senses. The incessant drone of thousands of voices speaking at once, the jarring loudspeakers that crackled to life only to blare garbled words before abruptly ending, the cries of unhappy toddlers, one-sided scroll conversations, intermittent laughter...

It may be a normal day in crowded airship terminal, but to her it felt like an onslaught of stimuli attempting - and succeeding - to create rapid spikes in her anxiety.

Clutching a small bag holding only her scroll and a couple methods of payment and identification, she squeezed past a loitering group of students and flinched when they erupted into laughter at some joke she hadn’t heard.  Her pulse was jumping as she swiftly left them behind, striding against the flow of traffic through a maze of giant corridors that would lead her to the exit. 

She knew the way by heart, which was a curse in this situation.  Without any need to find directions, her mind was attempting to pull her back to earlier that day...before she’d stepped on the airship in Vale…

This entire time, she’d done her best to bend and bend and bend, trying not to let her inner turmoil show. But suddenly she’d broken.  There wasn’t any notice. There weren’t any warning signs. She thought she was fine – she thought she could be fine – and now it was all gone. Everything had torn apart, like a house made of cards left out in a storm.

That didn’t matter right now.  Nothing mattered except getting away - away from the people, the noise, the lights and flashes of motion.  She needed to escape from everything – everything, including the thoughts burning in her mind, each one more painful than the one prior.  The long airship ride had done nothing but allow her time to think about what she was doing - to think about what had suddenly gone horribly, horribly wrong.  

But she didn’t want to think.  She wanted to be far, far away.  As far away as she could possibly get.  

Halting her steps and making no attempt at a polite smile when a family clogged the doorway in front of her, she followed them through and dodged around as soon as possible.  A long line of wide double doors was up ahead, each one swinging open and closed while allowing passengers entrance and exit from the terminal. 

Deciding on one that was further from the center of the building and therefore less crowded, she pushed it open and released the cold handle as soon as she walked through.  Once outside, she was immediately greeted by a chill hanging in the air that had disappeared from Vale weeks ago. 

It was a stark reminder of how far she’d traveled in search of respite - as were her clothes, which she’d so carefully selected this morning, but were now wrinkled and creased from her time aboard the airship. However, being a tad unsightly and moderately cold were the least of her concerns at the moment.

The roadway outside of the station was a never-ending stream of vehicles hastening by to whisk passengers off to their final destinations or slowing to a stop to drop new passengers into the fray.  The ceaseless bustle created an overwhelming sense of chaos that enveloped them all – their briefly intertwined lives teetering on the edge of total collapse that could occur at any moment. It would only take one small misstep to bring the entire system tumbling down, producing a logjam of vehicles and pedestrians that would take hours to untangle.

The unending activity had never bothered her before, but today it magnified her jitters.  Every person who ventured into her personal space put her on edge as if they were intentionally trying to aggravate her nerves.

Pausing in a temporary pocket of solitude, she took a deep breath in an attempt to still her shaking hands.  More than anything else, she needed to maintain her composure, at least for the next few minutes. When she was alone, she could think about...what she’d just done.  When she was alone, she could close her eyes and find the beautiful silver that would forever haunt her dreams. When she was alone - 

An obnoxiously loud set of suitcase wheels rolled right past her elbow, earning an annoyed glare for the bag’s oblivious owner before Weiss made her way towards the valet pickup.  Marked in red with a well-dressed employee manning the singular entrance and exit, the cordoned off area was, thankfully, blissfully spacious. Promptly showing her ID and earning a curt nod and “Thank you, Miss,” she walked into the private space and shook her hands - as if that might calm her nerves.

When a black limousine pulled to a stop in front of the space, she glanced at the vehicle before turning away.  Unfortunately, her driver hadn’t arrived yet. He was likely delayed due to the rush of traffic at this time of day.  However, that was a variable he was paid to take into consideration, and he must know that it was always better to be early than late.

“- just arrived at the station,” an immaculately-dressed woman spoke into her scroll while her driver lifted not one, not two, but three large suitcases from the trunk and set them on the curb.  Another employee appeared out of thin air and quickly loaded the bags onto a trolley while the woman began to walk away.

“I’ll call you when I get there,” she said while passing Weiss, sparing her a second glance that implied vague recognition.  “See you soon.”

With the bags finally secure, the second employee rushed after the woman and into the terminal as the limousine pulled away from the valet area and rejoined the lines of traffic slowly making their way towards Atlas.  

The entire interaction lasted no longer than a minute or two but was a harsh reminder of the world Weiss had been separated from for quite some time.

Wealth...power...status…

It was easy to forget that huntsmen risked their lives to protect a side of society that operated as if they were never in peril.  These people were more concerned about whether or not they had the proper outfit for the next royal ball than if Grimm were knocking on the city gates.  Weiss had never wanted to be one of them, and she’d done everything in her power to make sure that reality never came to pass. What good had that done though?

Resigned to her indeterminate wait, she picked a remote spot near the curb to remove herself from the vicinity of normal pedestrian traffic.  Involuntary shivers ran through her every few seconds but wrapping her arms tightly around herself did little to alleviate them. Every breath of brisk Atlas air bit at her cheeks and nose, an unpleasant reminder that she wasn’t supposed to be here.  

Truthfully, she’d never enjoyed the cold.  It had a way of seeping into bones and freezing from the inside out.  It hardened joints, dried out skin, and made everything so very, very brittle…

Her attention was pulled away from the bothersome chill when a black town car with heavily-tinted windows slid to a smooth stop in front of her. No sooner had the vehicle stopped moving did the driver jump out of the front seat and jog around the front of the car to greet her.

“Good evening, Miss,” he said while dipping his head in respect.  “Terribly sorry I’m late.”

“Good evening,” she replied politely in return, glancing at the man’s credentials to ensure he was who he purported to be.  “And that’s quite alright. I haven’t been waiting long.”

Visibly relieved by the lack of a reprimand, his rigid posture relaxed as he glanced around them.

“Shall I get your bags?” 

“I don’t have any.”

If the answer surprised him, he did an excellent job of hiding it.  Instead, he gestured towards the waiting vehicle with one hand while pulling the door open with the other.  Quickly slipping inside with a quiet “thank you,” Weiss made herself comfortable in the backseat - or as comfortable as she could force herself to appear.  Thankfully, the heater was already going, so the cabin was pleasantly warm compared to the weather outside.

A few seconds later, the man returned to the driver’s seat with a soft thump of the door closing behind him.

“Shouldn’t be a long trip,” he called back to her while putting the car in drive and pulling away from the sidewalk to rejoin the slew of traffic surrounding the station.

The comment didn’t necessitate a response from her, so she didn’t give one.  Instead, she stared out the heavily-tinted window at the familiar landscape passing by.  The ornate terminal, the nearby hotels, the congested roads...it felt like she hadn’t been here in a long time, yet nothing seemed to have changed.  

Except everything had changed.

The relative solitude of the town car provided little solace due to the man in the front seat - a man paid to perform his duties by Weiss’ father.  His presence demanded that she maintain her composure for a little while longer. Just a little while, and then she would be...alone.

When her lip quivered at the foreign concept, she bit it and lowered her gaze to her lap, willing herself to maintain control of her emotions.  

What had she just done?  

When she’d woken up this morning, life had been a mess, but a fixable mess.  There had been a plan, or at least some resemblance of one. She’d been filled with determination.     

And then...everything fell apart.  The situation, which had already been heart-wrenchingly awful, had grown infinite times worse - unbearably worse.  Whatever resolve she’d summoned from within the confines of her shattered psyche had been long forgotten - now it felt like the next breath she took might break her into pieces.

Don’t think about it, she told herself as forcefully as possible.  Focus on something else - the buildings. The roads, the cars, Atlas, anything. 

This was all her fault.

Closing her eyes and clenching her hands into fists in her lap, she drew in a jagged breath that held the beginnings of a sob of pain.

When she closed her eyes,, she could still see the forest expanding around her.  Trees were swaying in the invisible wind while fallen leaves crunched under their feet.  Blake was up ahead - nothing more than a dark shadow appearing and disappearing in the shade of the foliage.  Yang was beside Weiss - walking as calmly as if they were window shopping at the nearby mall. And if she turned around...

“Do you need to make any other stops?”  

Her eyes snapped open at the question, finding the driver glancing at her in the rearview mirror.

“No.  Please take me straight home.”  

The word made her flinch in pain.  

Atlas may be where she’d grown up, but it had never been her home.  Home was less fixed than a single location that could be pointed to on a map. Home was a feeling of belonging, safety, and love.  The smell of fresh rose petals...that was home.

For the past few hours, her heart had pounded more fervently than usual - each rapid beat reminding her of what she was running from.  In her young life, she’d faced hordes of Grimm - enemies both fearsome and wicked enough to make her skin crawl - and yet, in none of those instances had she ever wanted to turn and run out of fear.  She always found the courage to stand her ground unless the situation strategically called for a hasty retreat. Fear never drove her decisions...

But right now, she could feel her flight reflex announcing its forceful presence - controlling her actions - its claws gripped her mind and refusing to let go.  Every thought that wavered outside of her immediate surroundings was like a knife tearing through her heart, filling her with an amount of pain she’d never experienced before.  Yet, she was finding it difficult to keep her mind away from the place she’d just left behind...the life she’d just forgone.

For the past few weeks, she’d wished that their places could be reversed, but now she wasn’t sure that she would wish this agony on her worst enemy - let alone someone she loved so dearly.

Lip quivering when silver eyes appeared in her mind, she dropped her gaze immediately to her lap.  A small splash left a wet spot on her clothes which she immediately tried to wipe away - to no avail as the teardrop sank into the fabric.  But this was not the time for vulnerability. This was not the time for tears. 

Taking a deep, shaky breath, she forced her eyes upward and stared out the tinted window at the buildings sliding by.  Off in the distance, she could see downtown - the Atlas city center serving as a metropolis of world-class technology and innovation.  It was bursting at the seams with the nebulous promise of ‘The Future’ – Dust-enhanced buildings, Dust-enhanced vehicles, automation, and android advancements clogged every street corner.  The citizens spent their days and nights in an endless search for ways to cram more technology into their lives, all under the watchful eyes of the influential conglomerates located here. 

Each skyscraper towering into the clouds was the headquarters of one powerful company or another, with the tallest and grandest belonging to her own family.  Schnee Tower had been built as a symbol of power, wealth, and importance. Its status as the tallest building in Atlas only cemented the significance Dust played in their society.  Without Dust, none of the technology that made day-to-day life possible would exist. And without Schnee Tower, there was no Dust.

At least, that’s what her father would like everyone to believe.

Staring at the illuminated Schnee logo in the distance, her stomach suddenly gave an unexpectedly loud grumble.  When was the last time she’d eaten? Had she eaten last night? Had she skipped lunch yesterday? Breakfast as well?  Maybe that was the reason why her fingers refused to cease trembling...but it wouldn’t be any use to try to eat now anyway.  The mere thought made her nauseous.

The busy streets and tall buildings fell behind as they made their way into the suburbs, where the houses grew larger and larger the further they traveled from downtown.  First, there were apartment buildings packed towards at the edge of the city, then condominium complexes, townhomes, small homes with hardly a few feet between the exterior walls, white picket fence houses with space to grow, and finally...estates whose yards and number of bedrooms seemed to expand exponentially from block to block.

Before she knew it, they were driving down avenues lined with tall pines, sparkling street lamps, and wrought iron gates.  There were no houses set at the edge of the road anymore, but rather mansions lying up long, paved drives lit by intricate lanterns.  Each building was bigger than the one prior - a silent competition where the loser was forced to suffer the indignity of comments such as ‘ah, you live in that small house up the street.’  

This was where wealth spent the night, padded by sprawling lawns of ego and garages filled to the brim with excess.

In this neighborhood, there was a mansion set apart from the others - sitting on its own block with towering fencing separating it from the rest of the world.  Three stories at its tallest, ten large windows wide, an attached garage with far too many bays, a separate building which served as a casual waste of money while doubling as a guest mansion, a private airship landing pad which she would have used had she not flown commercial, and a set of drivers who stayed on the property around the clock - it was a masterpiece in exuberance. A testament to affluence and power. 

It was this estate that made her straighten in her seat while sturdy gates with an intricate letter ‘S’ curved into the center slowly opened to admit the vehicle to the pristinely-paved driveway. 

After hours of traveling, of struggling to maintain her composure - and sometimes failing to do just that - she was almost there.  Soon, she could go inside and isolate herself from the rest of the world so no one would ever see the pain and suffering tearing at the edges of her mind.

At least, that was the plan until she saw another black town car already parked by the entrance of the elegant, white mansion.  Its presence could only mean one thing…

“Your sister said she’d meet you inside,” the driver informed her while pulling to a stop in front of the door.  As he got out of the car, Weiss let out a heavy sigh. 

Winter.  Of course she was here.

When the door was opened for her - welcoming in a gust of cold wind that made her shiver - Weiss stepped out of the vehicle and gave the man a nod of appreciation before walking unflinchingly up the front steps.  It didn’t matter that her desire to run the opposite direction grew with each stride she took. It didn’t matter that one of the last people she wanted to see right now was her sister. The course was already set - she was forced to navigate through it while summoning the last of her willpower.

With hardly a pause to take a deep breath, she pushed open the unlocked front door and was immediately met by a burst of chilled air rather than any resemblance of warmth to take comfort in.  It was the marble floors...they were impressive and expensive, which was why they ran throughout the mansion, but also unforgivingly cold. A home couldn’t be made of stone…

This house had been granted to her as a graduation gift from her father, as if the origin of such exuberance called for an explanation.  A needlessly large, thoughtless piece of real estate in a city where she had no desire to live…at least it gave him the opportunity to brag to his associates about how well he treated his children.  They were truly fortunate to have such a generous, gracious man as a father.  

Regardless of his intention, it turned out that Weiss would use the house after all.  Before today, she had no intention of having anything to do with this place. She’d only been here once before - on the day her father presented it to her - and, most importantly, she’d never been here with any member of her...past life.

This place, while cold and unwelcoming, was mercifully absent of memories. There were no remnants of laughter, jokes, or love within these walls...and that’s just the way she wanted it.

In her extended absence, her father paid for the upkeep, as evidenced by the pristine white lilies sitting on top of a dustless marble table shoved against one wall.  At least they weren’t roses. Thank god they weren’t roses.

Taking a deep breath, she found the air was sterile and unfamiliar.  There was no lingering warmth, and the lilies did nothing to mask the smell of whatever cleaner had been used in the entryway.  There were no coats bursting out of the closet, no trail of forgotten petals on the ground. Every surface was neat and orderly.  

This was how Weiss had grown up, and what she’d always expected to find enjoyable, but life had taken her in an entirely different direction.  Instead of maintaining the status quo, she’d discovered that there was comfort to be found in a space that was truly lived in.

“I’m home,” she called impassively into the massive foyer while shoving the front door closed behind her, preventing any more of the biting cold from slipping inside.  Not that it mattered much when the floors themselves gave off their own frosty chill.

Another shiver ran through her, causing her to rub her hands up and down her arms and wish she’d worn a thicker coat.  In her haste, she hadn’t exactly planned for the change in weather, but she could venture out and buy a new coat as soon as tomorrow.  Right now, she just needed to hold herself together for a little while longer...then she could finally be alone. 

“Weiss!”  

A second later, Winter appeared in the living room doorway and walked over, her face an open expression of concern.  

“What happened?  Are you alright? In your message, you didn’t say what happened -”

“I’m fine,” Weiss replied, waving away the hand Winter had extended.  The curt response only confused Winter further, her brow furrowing and posture habitually straightening from years of lessons and scoldings.

“What are you doing in Atlas?”

“Father said he could use my help with the new factory,” Weiss answered emotionlessly, folding her arms across her chest and staring past Winter’s right knee towards the ground.

“The new...Weiss, what’s going on?  We don’t need you here to open the new factory.  That’s already been taken care of.”

Why did Winter have to be here right now?  When Weiss had messaged her sister from the airship, it had been so Winter could confirm that the house was still fit for occupation, not...this.  This wasn’t what Weiss wanted to do right now - she wanted to be alone. She needed to be alone.  She wasn’t going to be able to hold herself together much longer.

Under Winter’s puzzled gaze, she somehow managed to shrug in indifference.

“I came where I was needed.”

For a few moments, Winter looked completely taken aback by the comment, her hands extended with her palms facing up in a clear nonverbal request for more information.  But Weiss couldn't care about the request. She couldn’t care about the growing worry in Winter’s eyes. She couldn’t care about anything without pulling at the single thread that was keeping her functioning right now.

When it became obvious that Weiss wasn’t going to offer anything more without being prodded, Winter dropped her hands and took a half step closer. 

“But what about Ruby?”

The name made Weiss flinch as a burst of agony swept through her.  Noticing the response, Winter’s worry instantly morphed into full-fledged alarm, and caused Weiss to drop her gaze to the ground.

What about Ruby?  

What about her. If there were anything Weiss could do, she would still be in Vale.  She would still be in the hospital, trying to make things right. But there was no undoing what had been done, not now.  Her usefulness, both to her team and to Ruby, had run its course.

“She doesn’t need me anymore,” Weiss explained in a whisper, biting her lip when she felt it quiver with unshed tears.

“Of course she needs you.  You’re her partner.”

“She doesn’t need me there,” she repeated more forcefully. Her eyes flashed back to Winter, on the verge of anger that Winter would dare disagree with what Weiss knew was the truth.  “I’d only be in the way.”

Again, Winter was outwardly baffled by Weiss’ replies.  And why wouldn’t she be? All of Weiss’ reasons for remaining in Vale had centered around Ruby - Weiss’ world had revolved around her.  Yet...here Weiss was...voluntarily leaving her partner behind.

“What happened?” Winter asked, her tone taking on an imploring edge that no one else outside of this room would ever hear.  Again, she reached out to Weiss, but Weiss stepped away.

Winter already knew what happened - Weiss had managed to tell her sister in between fits of tears and sobs while in the hospital that very first night.  The forest, the hunt, how everything had gone so horribly wrong, how the doctors were fighting to save Ruby’s life.

Without Weiss even needing to ask, Winter had been on the next flight to Vale.  She’d arrived at the hospital in a flurry of Schnee-backed authority - ensuring that the most skillful doctors were available and working around the clock to keep Ruby alive.  They were successful in that goal, but when it became obvious that they’d be forced to wait for Ruby to wake up, Winter had coordinated the very best care possible before finally heading back to Atlas when unavoidable responsibilities called her away.

For her sister’s help, Weiss would be forever grateful.  She hadn’t been in the emotional mindset to handle organizing care while also worrying about Ruby’s life.  If she’d needed to, she could have done it...but Winter had had a much clearer mind at the time.

In those days, which had been hectic and filled with emotion, Weiss had never been able to tell Winter exactly what had happened, or her role in it.  Winter had never asked. Maybe she believed it had been a freak accident - that someone slipped, Ruby made a mistake, or it was merely a stroke of unfortunate luck.  

Or maybe she already knew that it was Weiss’ fault - that Weiss was the weak link who’d suddenly become responsible for her partner’s near demise.  Maybe that was the real cause of the sympathy in Winter’s eyes...compassion for the shortfalls she’d known were there all along.

“Weiss,” Winter said softly, her eyes begging for a forthcoming answer.  “What happened?”

Opening her mouth, Weiss managed nothing more than to shut it again and shake her head.

What happened to the days she’d waited day and night by Ruby’s side, praying for a miracle?  What happened to the hours she’d spent reading to an unresponsive Ruby, stories from those silly cartoon novels she enjoyed so much?  In those moments, Weiss had wished so urgently and fervently for Ruby to wake up. Now that she had…

What happened?  Weiss finally realized that she couldn’t be there anymore.  It was too much. Too much. The hospital, the doctors, the hoping and wishing and waiting only to have everything ripped away from her anyway.  Life wasn’t fair - and there was no more fitting moment than this to prove that point.

“Things have changed,” was the most succinct answer she could think of.

“Did she wake up?” Winter asked, her eyes widening in surprise.  Struggling to maintain her composure, Weiss curled her fingers into fists and focused on the feeling of her nails digging into her palms rather than the sharp hooks digging into her heart.

“Yes,” she answered simply, immediately turning away from the expression of happiness appearing on Winter’s face.

“But that’s wonderful!  They thought it would take a far greater time -”

“Yes, it’s wonderful,” Weiss cut her sister off, both unable and unwilling to endure hearing how incredible it was that Ruby had beat the odds once again.  

If Winter hadn’t been bewildered before, she certainly was now.

“Weiss...if Ruby’s awake, why aren’t you in Vale with her?”

There was an answer to that question, but Weiss couldn’t find the strength to say it aloud at this moment.  Not when sobs were bubbling up in her chest, threatening to escape as reality set in. Not when her eyes were burning with tears that had been held at bay for far too long.  Not when her heart was pounding in her ears, proclaiming its anguish loudly and steadily.

Using every last bit of her resolve, she forced herself to sigh in exasperation.

“It’s been...a long day.  Can we have this discussion later?  I’d really like to get some rest.”

Making eye contact for only a split second, Weiss then lowered her gaze to a vein of grey running through the white marble by her left foot.  She traced the line away from her before coming back again - ignoring the feeling of her sister’s eyes boring into her as if trying to read her thoughts.  The silence grew longer and longer, punctuated only by the beating of Weiss’ heart in her ears, until Winter finally spoke again.

“I can stay -”

“No,” Weiss immediately said, cutting off her sister’s offer with a shake of her head that drew the hint of tears to the corners of her eyes.  “I want to be alone right now.”

“Weiss…”

“I’m fine,” she forced out, steeling herself and meeting her sister’s gaze.  “Please...just go.” 

Speechless, Winter straightened her shoulders and opened her mouth as if she wanted to press the issue.  Weiss waited for the follow-up - a blow that would likely crack the remnants of her resolve. The events of the past couple days had already sent fissures through her mind, and the tears were already building in her eyes...

But then Winter thought better of it and closed her mouth with a frown.  The two of them had always been respectful of each other’s right to personal space and privacy - it was this respect that made her sadly nod her head and gather herself to leave.

“I’ll see you first thing tomorrow morning,” she remarked softly, giving Weiss one last pleading look.  When Weiss responded with nothing more than a slight tilt of her head, Winter finally gave up with a forlorn sigh.

“Please get some sleep,” she whispered on the way out, turning back once before letting herself out of the house and locking the front door behind her.

Fixed in place, Weiss managed a much-delayed nod while listening to the sound of steps walking away from her refuge.  A door closed, another door closed, a car started, and then the engine slowly moved down the drive and into the distance. As soon as it was far enough away, the house fell quiet - the type of quiet that made her immediately wish for sound to return.

It was suffocating. She could almost physically feel the silence pressing in on her from all sides, making its way into her lungs and preventing her from fully breathing.

This was what she’d wanted, right?  To be alone - to not have anyone witness her pain?  To sequester herself from her past life...to seal away the memories... 

This was what she’d wanted, but it had been a long time since she’d been alone. She’d forgotten how overwhelming the feeling could be...crushing, even.  What she’d thought would be relief was actually a stifling constriction in her chest that hampered her ability to breathe. Her skin tingled as it called out for some form of warmth to give her comfort, but she knew there was no comfort to be found in this place.  

It felt like someone was trying to smother her, hardly allowing a heart-wrenching sob past her lips that cut through the silence like a cry for help.  Shivers returning, she hung her head and watched a splash of water land on the smooth, marble floor between her feet.

“Don’t cry,” she scolded herself, forcing her head up and sniffling.  “She’s going to be just fine without you.”

The thought sent more tears spilling over, running down her cheeks faster than she could wipe them away.

Ruby would be fine, but what about her?  What would happen to her without Ruby? That wasn’t supposed to be a question she’d ever to consider, yet here she was...

But her wellbeing didn’t matter right now.  Ruby was the one who needed to be protected.  Ruby needed to be saved. Ruby had gotten a second chance - a fresh start - which would hopefully have a happier ending.  Weiss had made her own grave - she would lie in it. She wouldn’t linger by Ruby’s side only to put her partner’s life at risk again.  

A sacrifice needed to be made, and she would make it. She only wished that she could’ve made the initial sacrifice...in the forest...and sent Ruby home safely…

The silence abruptly ended when her scroll rang - the excessively loud noise making her jump in surprise while her heart instantly resumed its race in her ears.  Without looking at the screen, she already knew who it was. It was the same person who’d called her an hour ago. And thirty minutes before that. And thirty-five minutes before that.  Twenty minutes before that...

It was the same person who’d called no less than twenty times over the course of the day, with each call being sent directly to voicemail.  It was the same person who’d left a voicemail each and every time, which Weiss had no plans of ever listening to.

Her finger hovered over the button that would silence the call, but, unlike the first twenty times today, she hesitated.  Staring down at the screen, she watched as it rang - then rang again.

She didn’t want to do this now.  She didn’t want to do this ever, but if she didn't answer her scroll would just keep ringing.  Today, tomorrow, next week...the calls would continue until she answered or until they showed up at her door.

She didn’t want to do this now, but it was better to get it out of the way.  That way everything could end today.

Right before the call clicked away, she pressed the button to answer and brought the device up to her ear.

“Yang.”

“Weiss, where are you??  Are you ok? Jesus, we’ve been worried sick about you!  You don’t show this morning, then don’t answer your scroll - what’s going on??”

“I’m in Atlas,” she replied, making sure to keep her voice as dead and emotionless as possible.

“Atlas?” Yang repeated, her immediate confusion flowing through her voice.  “What’re you doing there?”

If there was a great, wide chasm - thousands of feet across and thousands of feet to the bottom - Weiss was standing right upon the precipice.  It was so inviting to believe that all she needed to do was take a step back - that a simple step away would save her from her destiny - but that line of thinking was a trap.  There was no stepping back because there was no path behind her. It had already been torn apart, destroyed, and now lay in ruin.

“My father needed help getting the new plant off the ground,” she answered steadily.  “I volunteered.”

The stunned silence on the other end of the line seemed to stretch on forever, but she waited - shifting her weight back and forth between her feet while curling her free hand into a tight fist.  

“You...what…?  Weiss, tell me you’re coming back.  You have to come back.”

Tears stung her eyes, and she swallowed thickly, which only made the lump in her throat grow larger. This was her best friend. And what she was going to say next would destroy the friendship they’d built.  It would destroy something amazing that she’d never thought possible of achieving in the first place.

But she’d already lost everything.

“I’m not coming back.”

Again, she waited through the agonizing silence, biting her lip to stem the sobs welling up in her chest when she realized the weight of the words she’d just spoken aloud.  

On the flight from Vale, she’d thought that her heart had already been ripped out, but apparently there was still a bit left that needed to be removed. Now she could feel it bleeding in her chest - a hot, burning pain that was slowly feeding into every vein in her body.

“What??  Weiss, what the hell are you talking about?” Yang shouted through the scroll, her voice rising as she grew more emotional.  “You need to get back here!”

“I can’t…” Weiss whispered, looking up at the ceiling when her vision swam with tears.  She didn’t want to cry. If she did, she didn’t know if she would ever be able to stop.  But the chandelier was already blurring into a nondescript shape of light.

“Weiss!” Yang yelled as if speaking louder could somehow bring Weiss back to them, as if it could somehow remove the hooks dragging her away. “You can’t just leave! You can’t just leave her! Ruby needs you now!”

“She doesn’t even know who I am,” Weiss replied deadly, the reality of that statement spreading like poison through her veins.  Ruby didn’t recognize her - she might as well be a complete stranger. She was a complete stranger.  She was a complete stranger to the girl she loved.

On the other side of the call, Yang took a deep, shaky breath.

“I know this isn’t what you expected, but you can’t just give up.  You can’t. We - we had a plan, remember? We already worked this all out - everything was going to be ok…”

Hearing Yang’s voice crack with emotion, Weiss closed her eyes and felt a teardrop fall.  It was followed quickly by another, and another, while she silently gasped for the air that was being quickly strangled from her lungs.

This morning, she’d believed that everything would be alright, but she’d been foolish.  They’d all been foolish.

“Weiss, you can still come back...just come back, ok?  Please...please don’t do this to her. Please don’t leave her...you promised.  You promised to always be there...for eternity, remember?”

A small sob escaped while she clutched her scroll in one hand, unable to respond to Yang’s pleas as sorrow overcame her.  She had promised. She’d promised exactly that. Little had she known that that promise would be impossible to keep.    

“Weiss -” Yang begged in a wavering voice, the rest of her sentence disappearing with the sound of her own tears.  

Shoulders shaking with agony while listening to her friend’s pain, Weiss raised one hand to her mouth while tears fell freely from her eyes.  She heard a soft rustling on the other end of the call before another voice entered her ear.

“Weiss…” Blake said quietly, her voice just as pleading as Yang’s had been.  “Please think about what you’re doing…”

Scrunching her eyes shut, Weiss heard the sobs escaping her lips - unable to hold them in any longer.  Everything...hurt...

“I...I can’t, Blake,” she managed to whisper through her tears before her voice broke for a gasp of air.  “I can’t...t-think anymore.”

“Weiss...”

Before Blake could say anything else, Weiss ended the call.  Looking down at the scroll, large tears splashed on the surface one-by-one as she watched Yang’s photo disappear - knowing that they would probably never speak again.  Knowing that she’d just betrayed Yang in a way that was unforgivable, at best.

Stumbling backward until her back pressed against the foyer wall, she dropped down to the ground and placed her head in both hands while sobs wracked her body - agony held at bay all day finally breaking through her walls and crushing her into oblivion.

They had been her family.

The love of her life...her best friends in the entire world...today, she’d lost everything.

“I’m sorry,” she cried out to an empty house, where no one would ever hear or care about her pain.  “I’m s-sorry...I’m so, s-so sorry…”

Sitting on the cold, hard floor, she apologized and apologized, but never felt any better.  If only her tears could wash away the guilt weighing her down, dragging her under...drowning her...

Her only consolation was that Ruby wouldn’t remember.  Ruby wouldn’t remember the life they’d shared...the life Weiss had just left behind.