Close, But Never Close Enough - Oneshot (Patreon)
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The Emerald Forest - that sprawling expanse of untamed wilderness that hemmed in their fair city, preventing outward growth with its incessant and often overbearing presence. It was always there, at the back of every man, woman, and child’s mind, providing room for lessons and ambitions alike.
But while most grew up to fear what lurked within the darkened trees, she felt no such fear while passing between two towering evergreens and pausing in a natural clearing not twenty feet in diameter. To her, there were two versions of the forest. One was loud and chaotic, filled with adrenaline, fear, and danger. The other was…this. Quiet. Tranquil, even. No sounds save for the light breeze blowing through the branches of thick trees and the far-off sounds of creatures rummaging through the brush.
This version of the forest was difficult, if not impossible, to find. But once you did…it was magical.
Of course, her reason for traveling so far from home had nothing to do with admiring the great blessing of nature that always surrounded them. No, there was a far more important purpose for her laborious trek into the middle of the wilderness. Desperation had driven her here. Desperation had compelled her to this place that Remnant had forgotten because she had to try. Because she would never be able to forgive herself if she didn't attempt something – anything – to fix their crumbling worlds.
She was the one standing in the midst of no man’s land, but there was a far more important life hanging in the balance - a life worth the risk of coming all this way alone.
"Raven," she whispered to the trees.
Having felt Raven's presence for the last mile of her journey, she already knew that her teammate was near. The only difficulty was convincing her to leave the shadows behind.
"Summer."
The voice was soft, blending in with the next breath of wind. As Summer turned around, she found the object of her quest now standing behind her – wild hair blowing gently in the breeze, weapon at her side, mask covering the majority of her face. This wasn’t the Raven Summer had grown to love as her own sister. No, this was the Raven that had shown up at Beacon all those years ago - as wild and free as the woods she haunted.
"What are you doing here?"
As usual, the question was direct and to the point. There would be no mincing words today, or any day, with Raven Branwen.
"I came to find you," Summer answered, keeping her voice quiet while taking a slow step forward that Raven didn't step back to match. The lack of response emboldened her, showing through lack of motion that Raven was willing to hold a conversation today. Which had been Summer’s purpose all along - to have a conversation with her long lost partner.
"I came to find you," she repeated with another small step forward. "Because you need to come home."
Was the request surprising to Raven? Most likely not. It's all they’d been begging of her ever since she’d disappeared one night without so much as a note or explanation. But today, Summer had come all this way to plead her case in person.
"You know why I can't do that."
Raven's tone was hard, determined, unrelenting - everything Summer had expected, but that wouldn't be enough to dissuade her. She had to try.
"I understand," she whispered with the next breeze, feeling it brush across her cheek before it played with the ends of Raven's hair. "But Yang needs you."
There was a flinch at the name – ever so slight – but it was there. In that one flicker of movement, a spark of hope appeared. Hope that this would be a successful endeavor. Hope that Summer might be able to change the course of a young child's life.
"I can't…" Raven spoke towards the ground as her eyes fell away from Summer. "There's still too much to be done."
"There's always more to be done," Summer refuted while taking another half step forward, nearly close enough that she could reach out and touch Raven's arm. "There's always a new enemy, a new threat. No matter how much we fight or how hard we try, we can never change that. The world will never be perfectly safe, Raven."
"That's not true." Raven's eyes shot back to Summer, scarlet orbs growing stern and unrelenting in her beliefs. "I can end this. I just need more time."
"And your child needs her mother."
That was it - the crux of the issue. The motivation for Summer's journey, the reason for her seeking out the one person who might be able to set a blossoming mind on the right path.
Raven didn't respond, her eyes refusing to leave Summer's while also refusing any attempt to refute that which she knew was irrefutable.
The lack of response was heartbreaking. Summer had hoped for an argument - a debate - any type of disagreement, but no response at all...it proved a fear she’d held onto and wished against for years. Raven understood exactly what she was doing. She understood what she was giving up and how this path might end, but she'd chosen to move forward anyway.
"She'll be fine without me."
The words were unnecessary because Summer saw now - no matter what they said, no matter what they did, Raven wasn’t going to come home. She'd already made her decision and she would see it through to the end. In some ways, maybe she felt as if this was her duty as a mother – to create a safe world where her daughter could grow up without fear of the dangers that were brewing on the horizon.
But Raven couldn't be more wrong. The evils that were just now coming to light weren't the only perils a child needed to be protected from. They needed more than that. They needed to know that they were loved, valued, cherished. To a small child the enemies of the world were incomprehensible, but the silence in their own home spoke volumes.
"Maybe you could just come and see her –" Summer suggested, but Raven took one step backward before the idea could be fully formed.
"There's no time for that."
The distance between them was growing as Raven disappeared behind her values, her beliefs, her principles. Her hardened determination had always been a strength, but also a weakness. How could Summer explain that there was always time? That one visit, one explanation, would go a long way in soothing Yang's aching heart? If Summer could find the time to travel here today, if Raven could find the time to speak, then there was time for one visit, no matter how short it might be.
But there were words left unspoken that Raven would never admit, which only the two of them would ever truly understand. Being away from those two darling children, even for this short amount of time, had already created a hole in Summer’s heart that would only be filled when she those sweet little angels were in her arms once more. She would never be able to stay away, but if she did…if she somehow found that level of resolve…there was no possible way she could return and ever find the willpower to walk away again.
For as unattached and purpose driven as Raven purported to be, she doubted her ability to fulfill her goals if she saw Yang - if she felt those small arms wrap around her neck and cling to her for support one more time.
"Her birthday is next week," Summer said, a last ditch effort to pull the caring, adoring version of Raven back from the hiding place she'd locked herself into mere months after Yang had been born. "We're having her party at the park – the one down the street. She loves that jungle gym right now. You should see her fly through the monkey bars."
With each word Summer spoke, Raven backed further and further away, edging closer to the trees while Summer made no attempt to follow. Their conversation was already over, but she needed to tell Raven these things – she needed Raven to understand what she was missing.
"I left her in good hands."
The words made Summer sigh and shake her head in sadness. For as much as she tried to be a good mother to Yang, there were moments when she could tell that Yang viewed her as…someone else. They were close, but never close enough.
Just like Raven. Throughout all their years together as a team, Raven had never quite trusted them – confided in them – like she needed to. There had always been this wall...which she probably rationalized as being for their benefit...but it only served to isolate her from their attempts to help.
Even now she was slowly slinking away, removing herself from the conversation she'd known was coming and had only participated in for Summer's benefit. Raven had already known what her answer would be, but she’d allowed Summer to say her peace - even if it would do nothing to change the way things were, the way things ‘had’ to be.
They were close, but never close enough.
"She's going to be a remarkable huntress one day," Summer said as Raven retreated further.
"No thanks to me."
With that, Raven was gone – evaporating into the trees without a trace except for the tone of regret she'd left behind.
Remaining in the sudden solitude, Summer looked at the forest surrounding her. The tall trees which had seen and heard for hundreds of years. The soft breezes which whispered secrets from far away sections of land. It really was beautiful, but its peacefulness only masked the chaos of the world they were living in – in which none of them would escape unscathed.
Glancing at the spot where Raven had once been, Summer sighed one more time and headed back the way she'd come. There were two incredible little girls she needed to get home to.
**
The moment she walked through the door she forgot about the woods and remembered what it was like to live...not just for today or tomorrow, but for a clear future. This was what they all fought for – the opportunity to have a simple, easy life and a safe, happy family to come home to.
"Mom!"
Breaking into a smile on cue, Summer quickly found the little bundle of energy whizzing towards her and knelt down to wrap Ruby in a tight hug. Taking a few extra seconds to hold Ruby close and rejoice in being together once again, Summer only released her daughter when she felt an extra series of wiggles coming on.
"Ruby," she said, holding the young girl's shoulders at arm's length and smiling in face of that infectious grin. "It looks like you’ve grown since I’ve been away!"
"See! I told you, Yang!"
Releasing Ruby's shoulders, Summer turned towards the other young girl standing by Ruby's side. At this age, Yang was tall enough that Summer had to look up to meet Yang's eyes – finding an all-too-familiar face staring back at her.
"Yang," Summer said, standing in a slight crouch and pulling Yang into the same hug, squeezing her tightly before letting go. "It looks like you've gotten taller too."
The comment made Yang grin and elbow Ruby lightly in the side while Summer straightened and searched for Tai. For whatever reason, the two were competing on who was growing fastest right now. The answer was most assuredly Yang – who needed another set of clothes soon – but Ruby loved the friendly competition regardless.
The moment Tai walked out of the kitchen and met her eyes, she gave him a quick shake of the head before he even needed to pose the question aloud. It was the answer he'd expected, but that knowledge didn't prevent the brief flash of disappointment that surfaced in his eyes. The emotion was quickly replaced by a smile as he walked over and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek.
"We just finished up dinner.”
"Dad made us eat all our broccoli!" Ruby piped in, hopping twice and catching Summer's attention in the process.
"Did he?" she asked while reaching down to tickle Ruby's sides. "Maybe I should leave Dad in charge of dinner more often."
When Ruby giggled, Summer glanced over and caught Yang staring off into space – the same expression that had been growing in frequency as Yang herself had grown. It was impossible to guess what might be running through her mind, but Summer feared the worst - that Yang didn’t feel as if she belonged.
After Summer shared a concerned look with Tai, he gently prodded Ruby's shoulder.
"Hey Ruby, how about we go get some ice cream from the store?" he asked, an undeniable offer in Ruby's book. "Then we'll bring it back and make sundaes for everyone!"
As expected, Ruby squealed in happiness while jumping up and down with joy.
"Yay!" she exclaimed happily before pulling at her sister's sleeve, bringing Yang back to this moment. "Yang can come too, right?"
"Yang's going to stay here with me, Sweetie," Summer replied, giving Ruby a warm smile that erased any worries. "We'll get everything ready, so make sure to hurry back."
Easily convinced, Ruby raced to the shoe rack and quickly slipped her tiny shoes onto her feet while Tai put on his jacket. Once Ruby hopped up, he held out her coat and helped her zip it up before opening the front door.
"We'll be right back!" Ruby said while taking her father's hand. "Make sure Mom doesn't forget the fudge!"
Chuckling at the request, Summer waited until the door closed before turning her attention back to Yang – who was already heading towards the kitchen to begin their task.
"Yang," she called out, walking around the sofa in the living room while drawing Yang's curious gaze. And there was a moment, no matter how brief, when Summer questioned whether or not she wanted to do this.
Couldn't everything remain as it was? Should she really disturb whatever solace Yang had found in favor of an attempt at closure?
"Come here for a second?" Summer asked while gesturing towards the sofa, her decision made for her when Yang obediently walked over and sat on the middle cushion. Taking a deep breath, Summer sat down on the edge of the coffee table in front of her.
"I think that…maybe it's time we had a talk," she began, watching Yang's expression carefully with every word she spoke. It was remarkable how expressive Yang had grown to be – her vibrant eyes carrying far more emotion than anyone else Summer knew. All of Yang’s emotions were right there...written on her sleeve for the world to see.
"Ok…"
Yang's response was cautious, as Summer had expected it to be, but unlike many children her age Yang was mature enough to handle such a weighty topic. For such a young girl, she'd already gone through so much…
Another bout of uncertainty swelled in Summer's chest at the thought – questioning her and Tai's decision that she would be the one to deliver this news. As the adoptive mother, was it her place to be the bearer of such news? Would it deepen their bond, as Tai seemed to believe, or would it push them even further apart?
There had been no correct answer at the time, and there didn't seem to be one now.
"About your mom."
The moment Summer said the words Yang's expression changed – emotion after emotion flashed through her eyes, ranging from hope to anger to sadness before finally settling upon a dull, melancholy acceptance.
"She's never coming back, is she."
How could a word like 'never' be explained to a child? Even if Summer said it would take ten years, five years, three years – any answer that wasn't in the next few days might as well be 'never' to someone whose entire existence could still be counted on two hands.
"She has a very important mission," Summer whispered, her heart clenching painfully when she saw the tears welling in lilac eyes. "She's trying to save a lot of people –"
"She doesn’t want to be my mom."
As Yang spoke, she sniffed and wiped her hand across her eyes, dropping her gaze to her lap as more tears fell.
"Oh Sweetie, that's not true at all." Quickly moving to the sofa right beside Yang, Summer reached out and rubbed one hand reassuringly up and down Yang’s back. "Your mom loves you very much. She just…she has to finish this first. If she could be here with you, she would be."
There were more tears now as Summer watched helplessly, hopeful that this painful moment would ultimately help Yang grow into the person she had the chance to be - someone without the cloud of dashed dreams constantly hanging over her head. Yang would always want her mom – Summer had come to accept that years ago – but maybe…maybe Yang wouldn't need her mom quite so much. Maybe she could find a way to thrive without Raven's presence.
“I’m sorry,” Summer whispered, reaching out to offer a hug - the only solace she could provide the hurt child in front of her. Yang willingly turned and threw both arms around Summer's neck, burying her face into Summer's shoulder while muffled sobs came to be.
For a strong as Yang may one day be, today she was just a young girl whose small shoulders shook with tears that had been held at bay for too long.
"It's going to be ok," Summer whispered while holding Yang tightly, feeling tears of her own as she tried to comfort someone who'd just lost far more than they should have at such a young age. "It's going to be ok…"
The evil in the world was blind and merciless. It didn't care that a poor, innocent child would suffer through anguish that was cruel and undeserved. It didn't care that a mother would be forced choose unending heartache over watching her daughter grow up. All that this wickedness craved was chaos, destruction, and sorrow in its undying quest for power.
One day they’d all be forced to choose a side. One day they’d all be forced into the fight. But until that day...some of them would delay the inevitable for as long as possible – if only so they could continue to enjoy a simple life that was fleeting at best.
Maybe she was being selfish. Maybe she was avoiding her responsibility as a huntress. But it was hard to feel that way when two tiny souls depended on her. One day the battle would come for her, but until that time she would do everything in her power to prepare these two little girls for a world that wasn't meant for their kind hearts.
"I have an idea," she whispered only when Yang's sobs quieted to soft sniffles. "How about tomorrow you and I head out to the edge of the forest?"
The offer, which Summer had put off making for as long as possible, successfully drew still-teary eyes her way.
"Really?"
"Really."
When Summer smiled, a small grin tilted the edges of Yang's lips up. It was every child's dream to be near the forest – to be close to the unspeakable dangers that lurked within. The novelty would quickly wear off, but for now it was something new and exciting in Yang's eyes.
"Ruby too?"
The question caused Summer to pause as she read the expectations fleeting through Yang's eyes. She loved how willing Yang was to share with Ruby - how willing Yang was to include her sister in just about everything. But for a little girl who didn't have a mom to call her own…
"Just you and me," Summer answered, reaching out to lightly tickle Yang's sides and earn a giggle that did wonders in lifting her heavy heart. "It will be our special thing."
When Yang grinned and nodded happily, the sparkle had been fully restored to her eyes.
"Now let's go get ready before your Dad and sister get back!" Summer said. "You know she's going to be upset if she has to wait for her sundae."
"Ok - I'll get the fudge!" Shooting to her feet, Yang ran into the kitchen without another word. Slowly standing to follow, Summer smiled at the sight of the girl racing around the island in search of anything else that would go well with ice cream.
They all had their own internal demons to fight. They all had their own decisions to make. Raven was trying to make the world a safer place so that there would be a world for her loved ones to live in – regardless of whether or not she was there to enjoy it. Summer was trying to make the world a better place - where her family would know what it meant to be loved and what it meant to love in return.
Everyone found their own right answer. For her, it was making sure that a little girl with a difficult beginning found a happy ending. And maybe she didn't need Raven's help to do so. Maybe it was within herself that she could help Yang find the right paths to follow. Maybe she could fill a small bit of the void that Raven had left behind.
And she would do so willing. Because whenever she looked at Yang, her heart swelled in affection that mirrored when she looked at Ruby. She felt Yang's pain, she felt Yang's heartache, and she would do absolutely anything to make it go away. She would do absolutely anything to make it better - just as any mother would.
But make no mistake - for as steadfast as Raven believed she may be, she would never be able to stay away. She would never be able to fight the unconditional love which bound her to her daughter. After all, it was love that separated them from the forces they fought against – a gift so powerful it would enable them to make the ultimate sacrifice in the names of those they cared for most. It was unrelenting, unstoppable, and unavoidable. It would turn the tide in this war, just as it would turn the tide in their lives.
This is how Summer knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that there would be another guest at Yang's birthday next week. Out of sight, but present nonetheless.
Close, but never close enough.