What Defines Us - Chapter 7 (Patreon)

“Quarterly projections were overly optimistic - it looks like we’ll have to stretch to meet those numbers before the end of the month.”

“Even with the holiday coming up?”

“Historical data was already included in our calculations -”

Blowing a puff of air quietly past her lips, she tapped her fingers impatiently on the board room table while only half paying attention to the rest of the conversation.  Projections, rejections, suggestions on how to grow profit margins and cut costs...on a good day these meetings were about as interesting as watching paint dry.  But today…

“What have the distributors said?”

“We’ve only received data from fifty percent of them, but -”

Stifling a yawn, her eyes drifted to the scroll lying face up on the table in front of her.  Blake and Yang had promised on everything they held holy that they would message the instant anything happened - even if it was something as small as a fluttered eyelid or a murmured word.  That had been the only way the two could convince Weiss to leave the hospital room behind and rejoin the ‘real world.’

The ‘real world’ was filled with mind-numbingly boring corporate meetings, stiff executives with inferiority complexes, uncomfortable boardroom chairs, and...well, the coffee was decent at the very least.  Schnee Dust cut costs in any way possible, but the coffee budget always remained the same.

After spending two full weeks - day and night - by Ruby’s side, Blake and Yang had been determined for Weiss to ‘take care of herself’ while they all waited anxiously for Ruby to recover.  Since the doctors weren’t sure how long it would take for Ruby’s aura to rejuvenate itself, they hadn’t been able to give any sort of timeline.  It could be mere hours from now.  Or days, weeks, even months…

No matter how long it would take, Weiss had been extremely resistant to the thought of leaving Ruby’s side.  Rejoin the real world?  That phrase didn’t even make sense to her.  Ruby was her world.

At first she’d flat out rejected the idea and refused to consider it further.  It had only been after her back and knees had begun to ache from the rigid hospital room chair that she’d reluctantly agreed with her teammates’ proposition.  Even so, she had only agreed under the stipulation that at least one of them would be with Ruby at any given moment.  They’d devised a schedule of alternating shifts so that one of them was always there - ready, waiting...

Of course whenever Weiss was away from the hospital, she wasn’t living as much as merely waiting for her next shift to start.  It was as if there was a heavy rope tied around her heart that wouldn’t allow her to move too far from Ruby without tightening painfully, growing more and more weighty with time.

It wasn’t living.  It was...surviving.  One day at a time, one day closer to the day when Ruby would wake up.  Because Ruby would wake up.  Weiss knew that as certainly as she knew her own name.  There was no force on Remnant powerful enough to keep Ruby Rose down for long.  

Ruby would wake up.  She had to.  

In the meantime, Weiss was somehow managing to fulfill some semblance of familial obligation, by traveling to the Schnee Dust building in downtown Vale and accomplishing some menial tasks.  Issuing directives, sitting in on meetings, walking through the floors with inspectors...her position was more of a figurehead than anything else, but it gave her the opportunity to keep her mind occupied - which was a temporary reprieve from the constant crushing guilt that only built the longer they waited.

When she was busy, her new position acted as a bit of a reprieve.  The same couldn’t be said when she was being bored to tears by whoever this production manager was.

“The thirty-two page report I’ve compiled for you details the taxation benefits of switching our inventory accountability methods -”

This time her sigh was a little too audible, catching the attention of the manager sitting beside her.  When he turned to her curiously, she gave him a stony expression that forced his gaze quickly back to the presenter at the front of the room.

She was about to do the same when the screen on the table in front of her lit up with a message.  Just like every time before this, seeing Yang’s picture pop up caught every ounce of her focus and threw her heart into a rapid dance.  Without a second thought of manners or professionalism she grabbed the device and opened the message.

Don’t get so excited, she mentally chastised herself while pressing the small envelope icon.  It’s probably just Yang asking if they could get brunch -

‘She’s awake.’

Her lungs stopped collecting air while she stared at the briefest of messages, yet with an abundance of meaning.

Awake?  Ruby was - 

The sound of her chair sliding backward brought all sets of eyes her way, but she didn’t even bother offering an excuse as she flew out of the boardroom and down the hallway towards the bank of elevators.  She would have taken the stairs, but she was on the fiftieth story - the elevator would certainly be faster.

Or so she thought.  But when she rushed into the next one and it proceeded to stop at every conceivable floor on the way down, she was proven wrong.  By the time she burst into the main lobby, her nerves were almost completely fried.  

She needed to get to Ruby now.

Racing through the massive lobby with ceilings three stories high and an outer wall made entirely of glass panels, she brushed past several employees before blowing through one of the exits that was hastily opened for her by one of the security guards.  No sooner had she stepped outside, onto the oversized sidewalk separating the building from the closest street, did her eyes begin scanning for a taxi.  Fortunately, there were several waiting nearby - idling near one corner of the building where executives would often head out for meetings or lunch appointments.

Dashing over to the vehicle in front of the line, she pulled open the door and slid quickly into the backseat.  At the same instant, she used her scroll to ping a hastily large sum of money to the driver before he could even turn on the meter.

“Get me to Valley Hospital in fifteen minutes and I’ll double it.”

Seeing the money pop up on his console, the man didn’t waste a second questioning whether or not she was serious.  Instead, he floored it out onto the main road at a speed that was slightly higher than the limit.

Clasping her scroll tightly in one hand as she was whisked through city streets, she mentally scolded herself.  Why had she been so foolish to go to Schnee Dust to begin with?  The building was in the heart of downtown, precisely where traffic would snag the most.  On a good day it was merely heavy, but on an ordinary day it was somewhere between unmanageable and horrendous - doubling the time it took to navigate away from the skyscrapers towards the more relaxed suburbs.

‘She’s awake.’

Knowing that Yang probably wouldn’t be checking her scroll anytime soon, Weiss still typed out a hurried ‘on my way’ before staring impatiently out the window at brakelights crawling ahead of them.

Ruby was awake.  Finally awake.

Filled with expectant energy, Weiss found that her knee was bouncing uncontrollably - a habit she’d most assuredly picked up from Ruby over the course of their partnership.  On any other day the external display of nerves would have been something she’d seek to control, but not today.  She couldn’t wait to see Ruby again - and see something more than the peaceful slumber Ruby had refused to wake from for weeks.  That happy-go-lucky smile and those shimmering silver eyes were waiting for Weiss - if only the damn traffic would cooperate.

Tapping her fingers across her thigh, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath in an attempt to push down the irritated impatience rapidly expanding in her chest.  There was no reason to grow agitated right now.  Ruby was awake.  Yang was with her.  And Weiss would be there soon.  

Their family would be whole again.

Finally.

Being apart had been wearing down Weiss’ nerves much more than she could ever hope to explain to her teammates.  In front of them, she’d tried to put on a brave face - masking the guilt and blame she’d been wrestling with ever since they’d returned from the forest.  It had been like sandpaper scratching against her sanity, grating it away day-by-day while she waited for a miracle to happen.  

But today her only wish had been granted.

Loud horns made her jolt in surprise, before the vehicle rapidly sped past a slower car in the outer lane.  The driver in the front seat muttered several expletives under his breath before navigating them into blessedly traffic-free streets heading away from downtown.  With the worst of the drive quickly disappearing behind them, they’d be arriving shortly.

A smile snuck its way onto her lips, reflecting in the window back to her.  She was still impatient to see Ruby, but relieved that this whole ordeal was over.  Or almost over.  With Ruby’s injuries there would surely be difficult times ahead, but nothing that the two of them couldn’t tackle together.  They were the very best partners, after all.  Of all the impossible things they’d accomplished by each other’s side, this would be just another footnote.

Weiss was going to do everything in her power to ensure Ruby recovered quickly - no matter the time or expense it would require.  If they needed to build a mini-hospital in their home, Weiss would see it done.  If they needed to spend every waking moment working through some form of rehabilitation, Weiss would be there for every second Ruby must struggle.

While there were still heavy concerns over Ruby’s arm, Weiss was going to seek out the best doctors from across Remnant for second and third opinions on how to reinforce those destroyed ligaments and help Ruby regain full strength.  This wouldn’t be the end of their story.  It was just another chapter - albeit one of the more difficult ones they would find.

A sprawling white building brought her focus whipping back to the moment in front of her - sending her pulse fluttering into inconsistency.  

Valley Hospital, in all its sterile grandeur.  From the outside, nothing had changed since the day they’d been dropped off via airship on the roof and rushed through the doors to the emergency rooms, where Ruby - 

Snapping off that memory before it could run any further, Weiss checked her watch before sending the driver another large sum of money and flying out of the vehicle before it had even come to a complete stop.  With wings on her feet, she raced across the sidewalk and flew through the sliding glass doors at the entrance.  Greeted by a cold blast of air, she immediately took a left for the staircase - the hospital elevators took far too long and there was no way she possessed the patience to wait for one.  Not when she was so close.  Plus, four flights of stairs disappeared like nothing when she used glyphs to fly up them.

The heavy door to the fifth floor burst open and released her into the hallway that led directly to the room that had become like a second home to her.  Every bit of her wanted to break into a run, but her heavily ingrained upbringing prevented her from doing as much in public.  Instead, she walked - quickly.

The door was just ahead on the left.  That’s where Ruby would be waiting for her.  In just a few seconds, they would -

An arm suddenly appeared in front of her chest, the unexpected barrier preventing her from moving any further.

“Weiss, wait.”

In her haste, Weiss would have walked right past Blake had she not held out an arm.  Under ordinary circumstances, Weiss would have gladly stopped and waited at her teammate’s request, but these weren’t ordinary circumstances, and she wasn’t willing to wait a second longer.  Hadn’t she already waited long enough?

Ignoring her friend’s request, she brushed Blake’s arm away and tried to continue.  But this action only forced Blake to grab Weiss by the wrist in order to halt her progress.

“Weiss.”

“What?” she snapped at Blake, whose sole identity at that moment was ‘the person preventing her from seeing Ruby.’  The bite in her tone made Weiss immediately flinch with guilt, but thankfully Blake didn’t seem hurt by the unattended impatience.  At least...Weiss’ words hadn’t hurt her...

Something was wrong.  There was barely concealed pain in Blake’s amber eyes, but, much more prevalent than that, there was worry.  Her grip was strong - too tight, really.  Weiss could feel forceful fingers digging into the skin on her wrist, as if Blake was scared Weiss would try to rip her arm away.  Which she was very inclined to do, since she was not very amused by the unnecessary imprisonment.

“There’s been a...complication…”

The way Blake’s ears flattened at the word was a warning Weiss actually heeded.  This was serious.  Something was wrong.

Excitement turned to dread in under a heartbeat.

“What are you talking about?” she managed to ask, her voice so soft it sounded like she was being rationed of oxygen.

Blake’s eyes briefly moved away before coming back.  The apprehension lingering there made Weiss want to reach out and reassure Blake that whatever was bothering her, it would be alright.  But, what was bothering her was Ruby -

“She’s awake, but...it’s...not what we expected.”

As Blake explained in starts and fits, her grip never loosening, Weiss listened intently.  Every word was chosen carefully, but that did little to diminish their weight as they slammed into her chest.  And while Blake struggled delivering the news, herself on the verge of tears, Weiss felt ice flowing through her veins, sending tremors through her limbs.

It couldn’t be true.

“I don’t...believe you -” The words were nothing more than a whisper, and nothing more than a lie.  Weiss knew that Blake would never lie...not about this...

A man approached them - a man Weiss immediately recognized to be one of Ruby’s lead doctors.  Striding right up to them, he stood straight and let out a loud sigh before finishing what Blake had started.  Gloves off, he explained exactly what was going on.

Traumatic brain injury.  Internal bleeding.

Unforeseen complications.  

Confusion.  Panic.  Sedatives.

Amnesia.  

When all of the words had been said and the damage had been done, the doctor and Blake both watched Weiss with varying degrees of sympathy.  But...she didn’t believe what they’d just said.  She didn’t want to.  She couldn’t.  If Ruby had lost a significant period of time, then Ruby might not remember Beacon.  And if Ruby didn’t remember Beacon, that meant she wouldn’t remember…

“I don’t...believe…” Her words disappeared into nothing as her ability to speak was cut off by the vice tightening around her lungs.

It was more than shocked.  It was more than stunned.  It was something far beyond any of those terms that Weiss was feeling right now.

“I need to see her,” she finally said, turning towards Ruby’s room regardless of what they’d just told her.  If what they said was true...Weiss needed to see for herself.

Blake hadn’t released Weiss’ arm, but slid her hand down so they could walk hand-in-hand to the glass window that would allow Weiss to see into Ruby’s hospital room.  Blake’s grip was still tight, an ever-present reminder that she would prevent Weiss from trying to go inside.

Slowing to a stop and turning to look through the glass, tears of happiness instantly sprang into Weiss’ eyes.  Ruby was awake.  She was finally awake.  Silver eyes were moving around the room, blinking, focusing on Yang.  Yang was in the middle of saying something - telling a story or joke, it looked like - and Ruby smiled.  It was more of a slight mouth curl than anything, but after weeks of no emotion it was huge.

Most importantly, nothing seemed wrong.  Ruby was right there - Ruby was fine.  The doctors must be wrong.  

Moving closer to the door, Blake’s grip on her hand tightened in warning...but she crept closer still.  That rope around her heart was pulling her in, compelling her to be as close as humanly possible.

Ruby was saying something - again with her lips barely moving.  Yang nodded her head in response before launching into another story or explanation.  It seemed like a normal interaction from the two sisters, minus Ruby hardly being able to move, but…

But from this distance Weiss could clearly see that something was wrong.  Ruby’s eyes were shifting constantly - jumping from Yang to her injured arm to the hospital machines to the bed and back again.  She was anxious about something.  More than anxious, she was...she was upset about something.  Really upset, but trying hard to hide it.  

An irresistible urge consumed Weiss the instant her mind made the connection.  She needed to be in there - she needed to comfort Ruby and make everything better.  Whatever that entailed, Weiss would do it.  She had to do it.  She’d promised... 

“Blake…”  Her tone was pitiful - pleading - in a way that only Ruby and her teammates would ever hear.  She tugged against Blake’s hand, only for Blake to tug back and keep Weiss rooted in place.

“Trust her.”

Trust her...trust Yang…

Weiss did.  Of course she did.  She would trust Yang with her life - with Ruby’s life.  But…

Yang’s eyes found Weiss’ through the window then and, with nothing more than a nearly imperceptible shake of the head, froze Weiss in her tracks.

Maybe Yang and Weiss had started off on the wrong foot, and got into more arguments than most, but over time she’d grown to love Yang like her own sister.  She’d learned to trust that Yang would always try to make the best decision for everyone.  Most importantly, Yang understood how Weiss felt about Ruby.  Yang understood how badly Weiss missed her.  

So when Yang told her no - when Yang told Weiss that she couldn’t see Ruby yet - she finally realized the gravity of the situation.

And burst into tears.

Immediately wrapping her in a hug, Blake gently guided Weiss away from the window before trying to console her with soft pats on the shoulder.

“It’s ok…” Blake whispered quietly, over and over again, but there was nothing that Blake could say or do that would make Weiss feel any better.

This wasn’t what was supposed to happen.  This wasn’t how their story was supposed to go.  Ruby was supposed to wake up and Weiss was supposed to run into the room and be greeted by a giant smile.  Ruby would say something like ‘Did you miss me that much?’ or ‘Guess who I met in my coma?’  Ruby, even in her most vulnerable state, would find a way to make Weiss laugh - would find a way to wipe away all of the pain and guilt and worry -

Ruby wasn’t supposed to forget.

“It’s going to be ok, Weiss.  We’re going to figure this out…”

With tears still flowing, there was no way she could respond even if she wanted to.  Instead she stood there in the middle of the hallway, face tucked into Blake’s shoulder while she cried.  How long they stood like that, she couldn’t say, but it was until she physically couldn’t shed another tear.  It was only when her sobs quieted that Blake pulled a fraction of an inch away, far enough to look down into Weiss’ eyes while still holding onto her shoulders.

“Do you want me to take you home?”

No.  Weiss had never wanted to leave Ruby’s side to begin with and she certainly didn’t want to now.  But what use would she be here?  And now she was such a mess that she needed to pull herself back together before seeing Ruby anyway.  So, nodding her head, she allowed Blake to take her hand once more and lead her back out the way she’d rushed in.  There were no wings to be found as her feet thunked heavily on each step on the way down to the lobby, sounding as if her shoes had been filled with lead.  The lobby’s cold air made her shiver and added another layer of trembles that didn’t end even after Blake had led them out into the afternoon sun.

More tears fell on the short drive home, but Weiss tried to hide them from Blake as best as possible.  She could feel Blake sneaking glances towards the passenger seat every few seconds, so she kept her gaze fixed firmly outside the window while she saw nothing but Ruby sitting up in the hospital bed.  

She was awake.  She was awake, and she was scared, and Weiss could do nothing to help.

The two of them didn’t speak a single word until the front door of Weiss’ home slid into view and the vehicle stopped.

“Do you want me to stay?”

“You should probably go back - check on Yang,” Weiss replied tiredly, opening the car door with a great amount of effort.  Without looking back, she could tell that Blake couldn’t decide what to do so she added, “I’ll be fine for now.”

“Ok….we’ll come over tonight.”

“Alright.”

Autopilot guided Weiss up the steps and inside, with exhaustion beginning to creep over her the instant the front door closed behind her.  There were still tears in her eyes, but she almost didn’t have the energy to cry anymore.

This morning when she’d woken up, she never would have believed that this situation could get any worse - yet it just had.

“Ruby…” she whispered towards the floor, head hung in defeat while tears splashed between her shoes.  

All she wanted was for Ruby to be back, for things to return to the way they’d been.  She would give anything, anything, for that to happen.  She wanted the halls to be filled with laughter and the smell of roses.  She wanted to lovingly gripe about having to pick petals out of her dinner.  

“Weiss.”

Her head snapped up at the sound of her name, eyes searching in the direction it had come from.  It was nothing but her mind playing tricks on itself - because there was nothing but the empty living room, lights off with the computer screen glowing unnaturally amongst the darkness.

But sight of the computer got her mind working again.  Walking over, she sat down in front of it and typed in the elaborate, nonsensical “master password” Ruby had come up with.  While waiting for the home screen to appear, she reached out towards the small stuffed bear sitting beside the monitor and gave his stomach a little squeeze.  He was supposed to be lucky - one squeeze of his stomach and a wish would come true.  No guarantees that it would be your wish, but someone’s, somewhere.  

When the computer was ready, she focused on the task at hand and did the one thing she knew to do when a situation felt too big for her to handle - she researched.  Over the next few hours, she read everything she could find on memory loss - medical journals, news articles, books…she even connected with a couple of the best doctors and surgeons around the world and strong armed them into giving her a few minutes of their time.  And then she was even lucky enough to find an online community of people who had suffered similar traumas - presenting her the opportunity to read through their experiences in great detail.

In a short amount of time, she was able to become very knowledgeable on the topic.  And, most importantly, she’d begun developing a plan.  That’s what she was best at, wasn’t she?  She was the planner - the strategizer.

There were cases, numerous cases, where people regained their memories in whole or in part.  For some it took days, some months, but it happened - that’s what was most important to her.  That’s what she held onto for hope - that this too would be just another blip in Ruby’s recovery.  In the meantime, they needed to behave as if that might not happen and act accordingly.  That would be the hard part, but if they figured out a plan in advance and stuck to it...

By the time she heard the front door unlock, her eyes were burning from staring at the screen for the entire day without pause.  Still, she didn’t turn away from the current article she was reading when she heard Blake and Yang walk into the room behind her.  It was only when someone flopped heavily onto one of the chairs that she swiveled in her seat, armed with her newfound knowledge and determination.

Wary wouldn’t be the right way to describe how Yang looked right now - she was downright exhausted.  The inescapable feeling was rolling off of her in waves, yet that didn’t stop her from giving Weiss a small smile.

“Hey - how’re you doing?”

“I’m fine, but how is…”  Weiss’ words lodged in her throat when an unexpected swell of emotion appeared out of nowhere.  Yang didn’t need Weiss to finish the question though.  Leaning back in the chair with a slouch of defeat, Yang lifted both hands and then dropped them onto her thighs.

“She’s...confused.  And scared.”

The honest answer shot straight through Weiss’ heart.  She hated the thought that Ruby was scared…that’s when Weiss needed to be there - to support Ruby and assure her that everything was going to be alright.  Not...this.  

“What does she -” Weiss began to ask, but her voice cracked and she was forced to cough before trying again.  “When - or...how much -”

The question wouldn’t even come out, that’s how afraid she was of the answer - the answer that she already knew.  If it had been good news, Yang would have said so immediately.  Instead, Yang opened and closed her mouth before shaking her head and exchanging a glance with Blake.  Running a hand through her hair, Yang sighed and turned back to Weiss.

“She’s...she’s never been to Beacon.”

When Yang’s sorrow-filled eyes met hers, Weiss immediately turned away as the stinging of unshed tears intensified.

“As I thought…” she whispered to herself, sniffling softly before summoning all of her willpower to hold herself together.

It was confirmed then - Beacon was gone.  The years they’d spent together, training and fighting and...it was all gone.  Weiss was gone.  She didn’t exist in Ruby’s mind.  She might as well have become a ghost.

“She’s close,” Yang quickly added.  “I mean, in her mind I’m about to graduate soon, so…”

The sentence trailed off while Weiss struggled to bring herself back to the course of action she’d spent all afternoon preparing.  If Ruby was scared and confused, it became even more imperative that they figure out how to reintroduce themselves into her life as quickly as possible.  They needed to be there to support her through this transition.  

And hopefully this was only temporary.  Hopefully someone hadn’t just pressed the reset button on the only part of Weiss’ life that she’d enjoyed living.

“Weiss…” Blake said quietly, reaching one hand across from the sofa and lightly touching Weiss’ knee.

Blinking back tears, Weiss focused all of her energy on attempting to remain passive.  The only way she was going to be able to emotionally handle this situation was if she disassociated herself as much as possible.  Just think about the results - the plan of action - and not that little voice in the back of her mind spewing nothing but blame.

“We need to figure out what we want to tell her, in terms of who we are,” she began, standing from her seat so that she could pace in front of her teammates.  “We probably can’t give her too much information, even though she might want us to fill in the gaps.  Depending on how receptive she is, she could end up rejecting the past, even if it comes from you.”  She nodded towards Yang, who hesitantly nodded in return.

“That’s kinda what the doctors told me today.  That’s why they said that, um...that maybe we shouldn’t have too many people talking to her right away.  So we don’t...overwhelm her.”

That was Yang’s gentle way of telling Weiss that she wouldn’t be able to see Ruby as much as she wanted, but she’d already assumed as much.  Regardless, she brushed past that knowledge as quickly as possible - not wanting to dwell on the it for too long.

“Right, so only short meetings at first - to show her that she has people who care for her.  We’ll need to decide exactly how we’ll introduce ourselves,” she continued, gesturing towards Blake, who nodded in return.  “Obviously the easiest thing for you is to be Yang’s girlfriend, so you’ll have a built in reason to be around.  But for me…”

Weiss couldn’t introduce herself as...as the person she truly was.  That’s what she’d learned from reading stories from past sufferers of brain trauma.  They’d explained how the most jarring interactions had been with people who had supposedly been close to them, but who they couldn’t remember ever meeting.  Merely telling Ruby that they’d been in a relationship would be the equivalent of a stranger approaching her on the street and saying ‘I know you don’t recognize me, but surprise!  We’ve been together for years.’  It could lead to distrust or worse, suspicion.

“I guess I need to stick to the friend label for now…” she concluded, musing mostly to herself.   

It was a non-threatening introduction, or as non-threatening as Weiss could come up with that would still supply a reason to be in Ruby’s life.  She wouldn’t say close friend or best friend, just friend.  Hopefully Ruby’s mind would fill in the rest.

The proposed solution made Yang and Blake share one of those looks - one of those secret conversations the two seemed to have more often than not.  When finished, Yang turned back to Weiss with both hands clasped together.

“Are you sure we shouldn’t try to tell her?  I mean, I’m sure she’d believe me.  Maybe not at first, but…”

When Weiss shook her head, Yang’s words trailed off.  As much as Weiss wanted to do just that, she couldn’t bear to think of the consequences if Ruby didn’t accept it - or didn’t accept her.  They might only get one chance at this, and the repercussions were far too great for Weiss to accept the riskier - albeit less painful - route.

“I think we can introduce ourselves as friends and see how Ruby feels about it,” Blake stated calmly.  “If she seems overwhelmed, we’ll take it nice and slow.  If not, we could test the water with some more details.”

Yang caught Weiss’ gaze then, locking eyes in that serious way she had on only the rarest of occasions.

“It’s your call, Weiss.  I’ll tell her whatever you want me to.”

There were so many different ways that this situation could play out.  How on Remnant was Weiss supposed to analyze them all in less than a day?  It was impossible.  It was an impossible problem to solve.  She just needed to pick a path, then hope and pray that it was the right one.  Her entire life and happiness depended upon it.

“Friends - we’re friends,” she decided with a resolute nod that Yang mimicked.  “If...anything changes...we’ll reevaluate.”

This time Blake nodded as well, all of them in agreement as to what they were going to do next.  As with any plan they adhered to nowadays, there was always the caveat of ‘playing it by ear,’ as Yang so fondly put it.  In this situation, Weiss hoped that playing it by ear meant that the situation was progressing far better than they were currently imagining.  Because right now her mind was filled with the worst outcomes possible.

But first...they needed to set the plan in action, on a path that had just become far more difficult than Weiss had prepared herself for.

Taking a deep breath, she looked resolutely towards Yang.

“We can go see her tomorrow morning?”

“I’ll meet you there first thing,” Yang replied, right before a long yawn slipped out.  Covering her mouth with one hand, she blinked drowsily after it had passed.

“You should probably get some rest now,” Weiss commented, standing up so that her teammates would follow her lead.  “It’s been a...rough...day.” 

Pushing herself to her feet, Yang then leaned backwards to stretch her back with an audible crack.  “You can say that again,” she mumbled sleepily before giving Weiss a small, lopsided grin.

“Do you want us to stay over?” Blake offered as she stood and placed one hand on Yang’s shoulder in a subtle display of support.  Both of them waited for an answer - postures already saying exactly how willing they were to stay another night.

Through everything, Weiss had had her teammates’ undying support.  They’d turned their schedules upside down in order to be there by her side.  They’d sacrificed their time and energy to help Weiss survive.  A part of her felt guilty for demanding so much of their attention when they had their own lives and relationship they’d surely like to get back to.  But they were selfless in giving their time to Weiss and, most of the time, she was greedy in accepting it.

“It’s alright,” she answered this time, adding a shake of her head and a forced smile.  “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Are you sure?” Blake asked again, giving Weiss a second opportunity to say yes.  “Are you going to be ok?”

“I’ll be -”

‘Fine’ was on the tip of her tongue, but that wasn’t an honest answer and they would know it.  How could she be fine right now?  Her life had already been turned upside down and now a completely unexpected obstacle had been thrown into the mix.

“I think I’ll be alright,” she answered instead, biting down on her bottom lip when it quivered against her will.

Stepping closer, Yang pulled Weiss into a warm embrace.  It wasn’t too tight to be uncomfortable, but firm enough to make her feel safe and secure.  Through the warmth, Weiss could feel Yang trying to lend some of her own strength, even though she must be nearly depleted by now.  But that was just the way Yang was...willing to drain every last drop of energy if it meant helping her family.  

More tears found their way into Weiss’ eyes while she gladly accepted everything Yang was able to give.

“You’ll have her back before you know it,” Yang whispered before pulling away and rustling Weiss’ hair ever so slightly.  Weiss pretended to pout about her disheveled hair while straightening it back into place, earning a smile from Yang.  The gesture had stopped bothering her years ago - when she’d finally been wise enough to understand it was simply Yang’s way of treating her like a sister.

When Yang backed away, Blake was next giving Weiss a hug - this one quicker than Yang’s but not lacking in emotion.  Squeezing Weiss’ shoulders before letting go, Blake accepted Yang’s hand as the three of them slowly walked into the entryway and back to the front door.

“Try to get some sleep,” Blake suggested before opening the door, her amber eyes imploring Weiss to heed the advice as she pulled the door closed behind them.

“I’ll try…” Weiss whispered in the emptiness. 

After staring at the door for several moments, she turned back to the still house.  

‘Deafening silence.’  The oxymoron applied perfectly to this current moment - where Ruby’s absence was shouted from the walls, the floors, the empty rooms and halls, at a pitch that only Weiss was able to pick up.  

Internally, she already knew that she wasn’t going to be able to sleep tonight.  Not that she’d been sleeping the past few weeks - what with the nightmares she’d been having incessantly since the hunt.  Every time she laid down in bed and shut her eyes, she could see the Death Stalkers.  She could hear the shouting, the yelling.  She could feel the paralyzing panic and dread - 

So she could go upstairs and go through the motions of going to bed, only to lay awake for several hours, or she could save herself the wasted effort and give up on the idea of sleep right now.  If anything, not being able to sleep could work to her advantage today.  Insomnia would give her an entire night to solidify exactly what she wanted say in the morning - when she would meet Ruby for the ‘first’ time.

Turning away from the staircase leading up to the second level, she walked back into the living room and sat down at the desk.  Switching on the television behind her to a random channel in order to provide background noise, she then pulled out a pen and pad of paper from the drawers and began writing.

And writing.  And re-writing.  And giving up before writing again.

Ruby, my name is Weiss.  I’m...one of your friends.

Ruby, we’ve been friends for quite some time - I’m so glad you’re finally up.

Ruby...I’m sorry.

What seemed like a simple introduction turned out to be anything but.  Her mind raced through conversation trees, trying to determine what Ruby’s response might be to each introductory line.  What would Weiss say after that?  And then after that?

With Ruby, the possibilities were endless on a good day.  Not knowing exactly what mindset this particular version of Ruby might be in, Weiss couldn’t even begin to make an educated guess as to where the conversation might go.  And that scared her - the idea of venturing into the unknown filled her with dread. 

Many rough drafts and unexpected naps at the desk later, she was yawning and pulling herself back together in preparation for the trip back to the hospital.  It had been quite some time since she’d felt so run down...mentally and physically unraveling at the seams...but she needed to hold herself together for a little while longer.  Just a little longer and things would start to get better...

Ordinarily, she wouldn’t have spent any effort thinking about what to wear, but if she was going to be meeting Ruby for the first time she wanted to make a good impression.  Not just a good impression though - a great impression.  After trying on nearly every article of clothing in their closet, Weiss had finally decided upon an outfit and made her way to the hospital.  She did make one small detour - but only to Ruby’s favorite bakery in order to pick up a box of her favorite cookies.  

Armed with both her scripted introduction and the cookies, Weiss made her way to the hospital with more determination and anxiety than she’d felt in a long time.  The cold air in the lobby brought goosebumps to her arms as she walked to the elevator and patiently waited for the next one.  It was a stall tactic, but it worked all the same - the elevator took several minutes to arrive and several more to stop at each floor on the way to the fifth.

By the time she was stepping out onto Ruby’s floor, Weiss’ heart pounding like a jackhammer in her chest.  Determination, anxiety, and edginess.  A part of her could practically feel Ruby’s nearby presence calling out - trying to lure her back into Ruby’s magnetic orbit.

Somehow, Weiss managed to resist that urge and instead stopped by the nurse’s station in the middle of the hall to check-in like they were required to do.  Visiting hours hadn’t officially begun yet, not that that had ever stopped Weiss before, but today she was going to play by the rules.

Of course, there weren’t even any nurses around at the moment to check her in, leaving her to tap the countertop while apprehension settled in.  Yang and Blake weren’t here yet, so Weiss would have to wait a little longer anyway.  But that didn’t mean she wanted to wait longer than necessary once her teammates did arrive.

Losing her patience, she quickly decided that she would go find a nurse somewhere down the hall.  Spinning on one heel to stomp away, she practically walked right into a patient in a wheelchair being guided behind her at that moment. 

“Excuse -”

She’d begun to say ‘excuse me’ on instinct, but she only got the ‘excuse’ part out before the ‘me’ stuck in her throat - lodged there by the purest silver she had ever known.

Of course.  If Ruby was awake, it would be next to impossible to keep her confined to a bed.  Even if she could hardly walk, she would insist upon moving around.  Fortunately, rather than risk Ruby falling and hurting herself, a nurse was pushing her in a wheelchair down the hall.

So there she was.  

“That’s...ok,” Ruby replied with a soft slur, giving Weiss a hint of a smile before turning away - the slight motion looking quite laborious.  “Cafeteria again?”  The nurse gave Weiss a longer look, knowing by now who she was, before smiling when Ruby tried to turn partially around to see why the response was so delayed.

“Just one more time - other patients will want breakfast too, you know.”

Ruby let out a quiet giggle while the nurse pushed the chair forward, giving Weiss a sympathetic look while they passed.  Her own feet remained cemented to the hospital floor while her eyes followed the pair towards the elevator - silently begging Ruby to look back.  To turn around.  To show some semblance of recognition.

But it didn’t happen.  And when the elevator doors closed a strange and overwhelming feeling tightened around her heart - a combination of heart wrenching pain and...utter despair.

Nothing could have prepared her for that moment.  No amount of planning or rehearsing what she was going to say.  No amount of strategizing.  No amount of mental walkthroughs could have prepared her for the complete lack of recognition.

Ruby didn’t know Weiss from any random person in the hall.

Hands trembling, she clasped them together while turning back to the nurses’ station and lowering her gaze.  It was growing difficult to control her emotions - something she’d never struggled with before a few weeks ago.  

Somewhere, buried deep within her mind, she’d still foolishly believed that Ruby would recognize her the moment they laid eyes upon one another - that this whole nightmare would be nothing more than an overreaction.  That’s what soulmates were supposed to do, right?  That’s what love at first sight meant?

But there had been nothing - absolutely nothing - no residual amount of emotion left for her in those silver eyes.

The longer she stood there, the harder it became to breathe.  Something was wrong - broken - but she knew it could only be her.  She’d been so determined and yet completely oblivious to what she was actually walking into.  She’d analyzed the situation, broken it down into manageable pieces and come up with a way to deal with every possible scenario.  She’d thought of back-up plans to back-up plans - conversation trees so extensive that Ruby could strike up a conversation on bananas and Weiss would’ve be prepared for it.

But she’d fallen guilty to the same flaw that had plagued her even during school.  It was the reason why she hadn’t been fit to be a team leader at Beacon, and the reason why sometimes even her most well-thought out plans failed.  It was a limit on her intelligence and a weakness of her character.

She’d planned and planned and planned, but she’d never factored in one of the most important aspects of any strategy - the human element.  In this case, herself.

She needed to be strong enough to deal with Ruby not recognizing her.  She needed to have the willpower to make it through this challenge.  She needed to overcome the pain and figure out a way to piece them back together.  But she couldn’t.  She wasn’t that strong.

You never realize how much you depend upon another person until they’re gone.  All that she was...all that she’d become was a reflection of how Ruby looked at her.  Ruby made her a better person.  Ruby brought out the best in her.

Now Ruby was gone.  And it was Weiss’ fault.

Tears filled her eyes and turned the tile floor into a swimming, shimmering mess of light while her mind turned against her.  

Ruby was gone.  The life that they’d shared was over.  It didn’t matter that Ruby was still alive and recovering.  That wasn’t the Ruby she knew - that wasn’t the Ruby who lit up the night sky for her.  That wasn’t the Ruby who always smiled the instant they saw each other. 

Struggling to breathe, Weiss sucked in a breath of air that sounded like a strangled gasp.  The exhale broke in the middle with a sob.  Never in her life had she felt so weak - so broken.  There was a piece of her shattered mind - the one she’d been fighting to ignore all this time - that suddenly grew unbearably loud, ripping control from rationality.

This was all her fault.  She hadn’t been fast enough, or smart enough, or capable enough.  She’d never deserved Ruby - this was proof of that.  She’d never deserved Ruby.  So the world had taken Ruby away from her.  

Anguish overwhelmed her, turning her feet towards the stairs and setting her off at a run.  The box of cookies she’d brought as a gift found their way into the garbage can near the stairs, right before she flew down them and out the sliding hospital doors.  She was sitting in the nearest taxi before her brain had even caught up to what she was doing.

“Nearest airship station.”

Her father had always told her that their family wasn’t lucky.  “Don’t count on luck, little girl,” he would say.  “Luck is for the unfortunate.  We work for our fortune.”  That’s why all that she’d ever accomplished she could only attribute to hard work.  She’d never found a moment where she’d stopped and thought, “Wow, I’m lucky.”  Until the day Ruby had said three little words... 

How else could Weiss believe that someone so remarkable had fallen for someone so...flawed?  She knew that she wasn’t easy to get along with, or spend time around.  She was a perfectionist to a tediously exhausting level.  She could be boring, spoiled, entitled, quick to cast blame and slow to accept criticism.

It had been a miracle the first time...she’d been lucky the first time...how could it possibly happen again?

If there were rational arguments, she wasn’t going to hear any of them.  All she could think about was the way Ruby had looked at her - or rather, looked through her as if there was nothing differentiating Weiss from the next poor bystander in the hallway.  As if Weiss was no one special...confirming every fear and insecurity she’d ever held about herself.

Within fifteen minutes, she was standing at the landing pad about to board the next airship.  She’d already sent a message to Winter, who would send a car to pick her up in Atlas.  Her hands refused to quit shaking, so she hid them in her pockets away from view while watching the giant ship slowly dock and release its passengers.  

She couldn’t say that she’d thought through this decision - other than knowing that she needed to get away from here.  She needed to get away from silver eyes glancing over her like she was nothing.  She needed to get away from the twisting pain of guilt knifing through her heart.

Stepping onto the airship as soon as it was time to board, she made her way quickly to the first class cabin and immediately fell into a more secluded seat by the window.  It was quiet in this section of the ship - quiet enough to offer some semblance of privacy to deal with her emotions.

As she buckled herself in, her scroll buzzed with an incoming message.  Pulling it out of her bag and looking down, she found Yang’s picture grinning up at her.  The text was simple enough - “Where are you?”

Where was she?

She was lost.  Just like Ruby’s memories.  

Instead of responding, she turned the device off and slipped it into the pocket of her seat.  It was only a few minutes later that a soft jolt swept through the ship when it disembarked from the platform and soared high into the air.  Making the mistake of glancing out the window, she immediately set the glass to its most opaque setting so that she wouldn’t be able to see the skyscrapers of Vale falling away - so that she wouldn’t have to watch as her home disappeared from view.

When her lip quivered, she bit down on it hard enough to feel pain.  Tilting her head towards the ceiling, she closed her eyes and willed the tears to return from where they’d come, and to take with them the giant sobs that wanted to wrench through her.

‘Don’t cry,’ she chastised herself, struggling against the feeling that was growing more and more overwhelming with each passing second.  

But it wasn’t her place to be heartbroken over someone she’d never deserved in the first place.

Seeing Ruby’s face flash across her mind, the tears instantly began to fall.  Burying her face in both hands while her shoulders shook with emotion, Weiss tried to keep her sobs quiet while the airship carried her towards her new life.