Four's a Party: Chapter 13 (Patreon)

Chapter 13: Dinner and a Show

“Why are we doing this?”

Amy’s question came at the perfect time. We’d just crested the last hill before the capital city of humanity. The gentle dell was a familiar one, but the land on the other side had seen some changes. The road had a line of people trying to get through the gates, and while the line was short enough, it was interesting that the King felt the need to investigate every person entering the city.

“We need to pick up more supplies for the new arrivals,” I replied. “You said you were bored of making the crops work all the time. Last thing we need is another flesh garden incident.”

“That was one time.” Amy planted the head of her war hammer on the ground. “And we were under a lot of stress.”

“Exactly!” I snapped my fingers. “Things have been getting too serious lately,” I replied. “I thought we could have an old-fashioned adventure to take the edge off.”

Amy’s eyes tracked to the side. “And because you’re whipped.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I folded my arms. “Just because I keep my promises doesn’t mean I’m whipped. Isn’t that right, Angie?”

My loyal second, the cute little kobold demon with golden retriever ears, nodded happily as I pet her. “Yes, Alpha.”

I huffed. “Letting you spend so much time around the packs was a mistake. I told you already…”

“Alpha is alpha.”

“Alpha made up.” Now it was my turn to grouse. “The whole wolfpack hierarchy thing was a mistake; the guy who wrote the original study came out and said so.”

“Yeah, well, that’s how it works here,” Amy said. “Do you really think science could defeat internet meme culture?”

“It’s probably a good idea that we got out when we did.” I shuddered. “Cuff showed me some Aleph meme that was just a pile of words, like Sigma Ohio or something.”

Angelica giggled. I could tell that she was just happy to be spending time with me, even if all this Earth talk went over her head. Really, this trip was mostly for her. Amy and I were great at handling stress, and I was sure I could browbeat her into fleshcrafting us some livestock.

But Angelica should get to grow up without having to run a gang in a costal settlement because no one else could be trusted just like her—

“It’s cause you’re a boomer.”

“What?” I rounded on Amy. “You take that back!”

“Um.”

The three of us turned to look at our last member. He cringed back.

Caeo was another canid demon like Angelica, though his ears were pointed with those fluffy little tufts inside them that made you just want to bury your face in them. We’d picked him up in our last attack on a slave ship, and Angelica decided to let him tag along when I told her to pick someone innocuous.

“What’s up?” I asked.

He shifted his feet, eyes flicking back and forth. Really, I could see why Angie picked him. He still hadn’t shaken that timid aura that would really sell our cover story.

“Just spit it out, kid.” Amy shifted her hammer. “No one’s gonna bash your brains out.”

For some reason, that didn’t seem to make him more comfortable. A spark of determination flicked across his face. “We gonna move before getting spotted?”

Amy and I glanced down at the city once more. It was hard to pick out faces, but there were a quite a few guards standing around the gate. All it would take was for one silver-helmed head to pick us out and wonder why we were taking so long.

“Okay, we marched up to the top of the hill so let’s march back down again.” I started off. “Caeo, remember the plan?”

“Look down, don’t talk.” His ears twitched. “S’not hard.”

“It’s important, though,” I said. “This kind of checkpoint wasn’t here last time we visited, so if we want to get inside, we need to sell it.”

“Still not hard.” He rubbed his wrists. “I didn’t forget.”

I held back a sigh. In a perfect world, a kid his age should never know what shackles felt like. I cast about for something to say, but Angie beat me to it. She bumped his shoulder with her own. Even though she was a few years older, they were close to the same height, so she could look directly into his eyes. “Instead,” she raised her sleeve, showing the edge of her tattoo, broken chains winding up her arm, “remember what they can never take away from you.”

Caeo nodded again, a hint of that earlier fire returning to his eyes. “Right.”

In a generic fantasy story, that’s when we would have made it to the guards, who somehow wouldn’t have heard any of that. A generic fantasy world was hardly so accommodating; we had to wait in line with everyone else. A story would have let me skip the boring waiting, but I was most certainly present for every single second of it.

When we finally reached the front, the guard gave us a quick once-over. “Name and reason for visit.”

“Taylor and Amelia, we’re here to pick up supplies.”

He grunted. “What supplies?”

“Food mostly. We’re prepping for a longer trip to the Demon Tower.”

He nodded, marking something down on a sheet of paper. “I need all of your names.”

“Hm?” I glanced at Angie and Caeo, pretending to be surprised. “You mean our pets? I—”

“Don’t give a shit ‘bout them.”

I blinked, caught halfway through my prepared response to that question. The words ‘then who’ were on the tip of my tongue as a hand clamped down on my shoulder.

Amy and I spun, to face—

“Malori?”

The human mage looked like she’d been sleeping in a bush. Her hair was a mess, with actual sticks and leaves sticking (heh) out of it, and there were bags of holding under her eyes. It made her glower even more terrifying. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

A sinking suspicion started to form in my chest.

I quickly turned back to the guard. “Sorry about that, it’s, uh—”

“She with you or not?”

“Yes.” I nodded. “She is; her name is Malori.”

The guard paused, squinting at her disheveled appearance. “Adventurers, you said?”

“Yeah.” I rubbed the back of my head. “We’re kinda new at the whole adventuring thing, you know. Papa made it sound so much more fun in his stories! I didn’t think we’d be back for supplies so soon, but well, our tent blew down in a storm and…” I gestured to the now five of us. While no one else looked as bad as Malori, we had all been sleeping in a cave. “Sleeping rough isn’t nearly as romantic as I thought it was—and can you believe how cold it gets at—”

The guard stamped something on his paper with a bit more force than necessary. “Here’s your entry pass.” He spoke loud enough to interrupt me “Lose it and we’ll throw you out. Now get gone.”

“Ahaha. Right. Thank you!”

“Just move already.”

We quickly scuttled off into the city.

“Can’t believe that worked,” Amy muttered.

“Do you have any idea why he was interested in you?” I asked Malori.

Her glare deepened. “How would I, when I’ve been camping in the woods searching for you for the past month?!”

“Ah.” I nodded once, then again. “We forgot to tell you when we were moving the village, didn’t we.”

“You think?”

Amy hummed. “Awkwaaaard.”

I jabbed her in the side, before letting out a long sigh. “Here, why don’t we go get something to eat. I’ll pay.”

“You better,” Malori replied. She wasn’t so mad she turned down the food though, so I counted that as a win.

Soon enough we found ourselves an appropriately seedy tavern a ways from the gate, right across the street from where we’d be meeting our contact.

“Good thing we came early.” I set the first round of drinks on the table, small beers for us and juice for the kids. “So…”

“I left one morning to grab some of my stuff,” Malori said. “And when I came back even the buildings were gone.”

“Ah.” I covered a wince with a sip of my drink. “And since then?”

“I’ve been wandering the woods looking for where a whole village of demons vanished to.”

“You really forgot to tell her we moved?” Amy asked.

“You forgot too!” I shook my head. “We kept it quiet for security reasons, we just…” I paused. “Actually, that explains why I hadn’t seen you in the past few days. I thought I was just busy.”

Malori huffed. “If Angelica wasn’t so cute I’d leave.”

I rubbed the back of my head. “Sorry. Look, we’ll—”

“That’s not all of it,” Malori said.

Amy and I shared a look. “It’s not?”

“What, you think this is the first time I’ve been dumped in the forest a few days from the nearest town?” Malori laughed. “My master used to do that all the time.”

I set my cup down. “What happened?”

Malori glanced around, pausing when the innkeeper came around with a big serving of stew in a wooden serving bowl. Caeo perked up at the smells, tail thumping at the back of his chair. That earned a look from the innkeeper, but given that the three humans at the table were obvious adventurers, he let it pass without a word.

“Here,” I took the ladle. “Let’s get everyone fed, first.”

Despite the appearance of the inn, the food was good. Even Malori looked a bit more human by the time she finished.

“Okay, so. You’ve been in the forest north of the capital for about a month now, and something stopped you from just coming back home.”

Malori nodded. “Something was hunting me,” she said. “I didn’t notice at first, but I was moving around so much I stumbled across some tracks. After that I had to be a lot more careful.”

“And you’re sure they were hunting you.”

She nodded. “I’d recognize the standard adventurer search pattern with my eyes closed. And it was definitely me they were after, otherwise they wouldn’t have put up teleportation detection wards.”

“Okay, wow.” I folded my arms. “That’s honestly not what I expected to hear.”

“You’d think they’d be more concerned about us.” Amy leaned back folding her hands behind her head.

“We did kill a lot of slavers.”

“Is that what you’ve been doing?” Malori paused before shaking her head. “No, forget that. I’m still mad that you ditched me!”

“I’m sorry,” I said. “We’ll make it up to you. Even if it takes a while.”

“You better.” She let out a yawn. “Anyway, I eventually gave them the slip, and when I was making my way back home I saw Angie in line and knew that you guys must be here too. What even happened?”

“Like I said, we relocated. We’ll read you in on it later, but it’s a good thing we did apparently.” I shrugged. “Otherwise, those people looking for you would have stumbled across us and, well.”

Malori grimaced. “That would be pretty bad, especially if—”

A man slammed both palms against our table. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

Amy was halfway to her feet, hammer in hand, before we recognized the man.

“C-cerik?!” Malori placed a hand against her chest. “I almost blasted you with a fireball.”

“I wish you had.” He slumped against the wooden surface of the table. “I’ve literally been searching for you for the past month, and you turn up here like nothing happened?”

“Month?” Malori looked at me, and I shrugged.

“I can still make him forget he saw us,” Amy said, shifting her hammer.

I sighed. “No, no. We don’t have time to sort this out right now, though. We need to meet our contact with Alderbrant Corporation.”

“I’m your contact,” Cerik said. “I was waiting at our meeting point, and I noticed Angelica when you all walked in here.”

I put my head in my hands. “Angie, pull your hood up, please.” After taking a moment to gather myself, I straightened, turning to Caeo. “I promise things usually aren’t this crazy.”

“Usually they’re worse!” Amy said.

“Shut up.”

“Eat me, bitch.”

With another sigh, I took out my coin purse. “Let’s just move. We’re drawing a bit too much attention, and I believe we were supposed to have a private booth for our meeting?” I asked Cerik.

Malori’s classmate and fellow adventurer straightened up, brushing off his bland jacket and shirt. “Yeah, you know what, let’s do that.”

We moved again.

The original meeting place, that is to say, the location Amy and I had planned to go to upon reaching the capital, was a coffee shop.

“Still bugs me.”

“What, the sign?” I asked Amy.

She shrugged. “Why is it called Moonbucks?”

“It’s weird to me too,” Cerik said. “But if we could just, you know, stop blocking the street.” He gave an awkward look towards Angelica and Caeo, “There are…more demon slaves in the capital than there used to be, but still.”

“Right, right.”

“More slaves?” Malori asked.

Cerik slid into our reserved booth with a sigh. It was a bit of a tight squeeze with the extra people, but we solved it by the simple expedient of Angelica sitting in my lap.

“Ever since that Scarab pirate started attack merchant ships, slavery has become…not mainstream, but more accepted in high society.” He fought back a grimace. “The Royal family hasn’t come out with a particular stance, yet, but…”

“Them not saying anything is as good as tacit approval,” I finished. “Damn. I expected some change, but I’m surprised that things shifted so drastically.”

“I’m not.” Amy rolled her eyes. “Pretty much every fantasy isekai setting is one racoon girl in a cage from going full ‘the south will rise again’.”

I looked at her. “And how do you know that?”

“Vicky had shit taste in TV.”

“Can we not talk bout this in public?” Malori said.

“Best way to hide something is act like you’re not hiding anything.” I shrugged. “Besides, this is a private booth, and we have a lot to cover. Like how you’ve been hunting Malori for a month, Cerik.”

Malori’s eyes widened as she finally put the pieces together. “Wait, that was you? I thought—why didn’t you just message me?”

Cerik grunted. “Because the guards from the palace were watching me like a hawk, look, that’s not important. What is important is who is looking for you.”

“Isn’t it you?” Malori asked.

Cerik ran a hand down his face.

Caeo awkwardly patted him on the shoulder.

“Why don’t we start from the beginning,” I said.

Slowly, the story came out. A few days after Malori had left the city with Amy, Angie, and I, the King had decided he wanted her found. That, of course, had led to Malori’s classmates being sent off along with the Royal Guard, to bring her back so they could all go kill the Demon Queen.

Malori placed her head on the table. “Thought I was running from bounty hunters.”

“Why would anyone put a bounty on your head!”

Malori shrugged. “Cause I’m awesome? I don’t know. I thought maybe they figured out…”

That she was in love with Demon Queen Velverosa, and definitely wouldn’t, under any circumstances, actually try to kill her? Yes, I imagined that would make King Siegwald very upset.

I coughed. “Well, this has all been very enlightening. Why are you back here, then?”

“Because my dad’s been trying to get me into the family business for ages, so when he said he had some high-profile new client, I took the chance to get out of the search parties.” He rubbed his chin. “Of course, that’s when I actually found Malori, go figure.”

Malori waved her hands. “You can’t tell anyone I’m here! He’s gonna make me fight Queen Vel!”

“So?” I shrugged. “How is that different from what you were doing before? Just lie about it.”

“I can’t,” Malori said.

“Why not?”

“I just can’t, okay?”

“Look, we’ve had so many revelations today it’s like I’m stuck in a recap episode, so what’s one more?”

Alas, she was not moved by my logic, simply repeating that she couldn’t appear before Queen Vel right now, not even if the King threatened to have her executed.

After maybe five minutes of prodding, Amy let out an exaggerated groan. “All of this talking is making me thirsty.”

“You aren’t even talking.”

“You’re talking so much it’s made me thirsty.”

“I wouldn’t mind a drink.” Cerik gave an awkward chuckle. “Half the reason I came back home was to get some real food for once.”

“Army rations don’t agree with you?”

He shivered, waving down a waitress.

A young woman, her brown hair pulled back into a high ponytail, came over to our table. “What can I do for you, Mr. Alderbrant?”

“So it’s Mister, now?” Malori smirked at her friend. “And I’ll have a coffee, please. Black.”

Cerik laughed and we all gave our order.

I raised my hand, “Also, do you have pupcups?”

Amy’s face hit the table.

“Pup…cups?” The waitress asked.

“You know, a little something for our cute little friends here.” I patted Angie’s ears.

The woman shifted slightly. “Are they your…?”

“Hmm, my what?”

I could see the moment the waitress decided that discretion was the better part of valor. “She’s very well…trained.”

I shared a secret smile with Angie. “Oh, you don’t know the half of it.”

“I’ll…check with the chef, about the, uh, what did you call them again?”

“Pupcups.”

“Yes, that.” She nodded once, twice. “I’ll just check about those.”

I watched her go with narrowed eyes.

Amy snapped her fingers. “None of that, now. She seemed normal.”

“I know.” I sighed. “It’s just…I’m disappointed how normalized it’s already become.”

“Here you are, normalizing it.”

I nodded, still unhappy. “Shall we turn to business, then?” I asked Cerik.

“Right, well.” He rummaged through a small suitcase he’d brought. “Even after I saw your name, I half expected someone else to be my ‘client,’ but dad told me you wanted to buy a lot of food and livestock?”

I nodded. “Officially, we’re preparing for a longer trip to the Demon Tower, given that sea travel isn’t quite as safe at the moment.”

“You could just teleport back?” Malori asked.

“Officially, I’m a ditzy rich girl who wants to prove she can rough it without coming back home to daddy every evening for tea.” I waved my hand at Cerik. “I’m sure you understand.”

He snorted. “Proving your independence with…” He flicked through his notes. “Enough food to feed a small village.”

“It was just so difficult,” I said. “Running out of supplies on my first expedition. I was distraught.”

“How traught?” Amy asked.

I leaned forward, pointing at my face. “This traught.”

Cerik laughed. “Right. I’m sure I can convince dad you just don’t understand what your own money is worth. He’ll probably sell you anything, then.”

“What a consummate businessman.”

Cerik shrugged. “Why do you think I wanted to become an adventurer? Do you have a list?”

“Yes, right…” I paused.

“What’s wrong?” Cerik asked.

Two delicate hands slipped over his shoulders. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

An expression of doom crossed over Cerik’s face, before he hid it away. “Princess Leora.” He rose from the booth, conveniently slipping from her grasp. “What a surprise to see you here.”

“Well, I was just out on the town.” The princess tucked a strand of golden blond hair behind her ear. “I was surprised when I saw that little kobold, but once I recognized you, I had to say hello!”

“What do you know,” Amy muttered. “Comedy does come in threes.”

A quick glance around the Moonbucks showed that two guards were waiting outside the front windows, while a man in fine clothes and a put-upon expression waited at the front of the store. Nothing to do but role with the punches.

“Yes, why don’t you introduce us, Cerik!” I stood, setting Angelica down on the booth before dipping into a curtsey. “You grace us with your beauty, your highness.”

“Oh please.” She waved her hand, but couldn’t quite hide the pleased smile. “This is just something I threw on.”

“No, it looks so good on you!” I smiled, catching her fingers. “That dress is just sleek on you. And these gloves? I’m like practically blinded right now!”

She laughed, letting her hand rest in mine. “Well, I’ll tell my tailor you said so. I’m sure he’ll be pleased.”

From the corner of my eye, I saw Amy making half-hidden gagging motions. Please, I was a bard; this was practically a class requirement. I didn’t even have to lie very hard; the loose, ethereal look she was going for complemented her pale skin and golden hair perfectly.

There was just the little snag of her being the princess of a regime I was sworn to oppose.

“Cerik.” Still not taking her hand back, Princess Leora leaned against the taller adventurer, “You didn’t tell me you had such good-looking friends.”

He pasted a stiff smile on his face. “We haven’t had much time to talk, your highness.”

“Whose fault is that?” She finally turned to face him fully. “And didn’t I tell you to call me Leora?”

“Must have slipped my mind, your highness.”

It didn’t take a genius to see that he was uncomfortable in the face of her very obvious advances. Poor Cerik, he just wasn’t a legs man.

In that, if you didn’t have a long, thick lamia tail, he probably wasn’t interested.

While the princess wasn’t looking, I caught Amy’s eye, jerking my head towards Leora. Amy had a thing for blondes, right? Unfortunately, my grumpy healer just turned back to her drink.

Did I really have to do everything myself?

I turned back to the uncomfortable Cerik and the pushy princess. “It’s my fault he left so suddenly, your highness.”

She’d just been berating him for leaving the search parties without a word, and he’d been a few stumbling sentences away from agreeing to an ‘apology date’.

Leora frowned at me, upset I’d ruined her plan, but I ploughed on. “I wanted to close out this deal of mine as soon as possible; I didn’t expect that Mr. Alderbrant would call his son back from such an important mission.”

“Oh? And what deal is this?” she asked.

I stepped closer. “Why don’t you join us for a light brunch? Cerik and I were almost finished with the particulars, but given it involved the Demon Queen’s tower, might you be interested?”

“Hmm. It is something we are most focused on, at the moment,” she said. It was clear from the way her eyes lingered on Cerik, however, that he was the real reason she wanted to stay.

The staff quickly brought out a larger table to accommodate the princess, even going so far as to rope off the back of the café for our personal use. Rank did indeed have its privilege, and I seated that privilege’s nepo-baby right between Cerik and I at the new round table.

“And who are the rest of your friends?”

“Oh, just some adventurers I hired to fill out my party.” I waved at them. “That’s Amy, my paladin, and M-Melanie. Our sorceress.”

“Impressive classes,” Leora said. Still, her eyes tracked over Malori’s disheveled appearance and Amy’s spiked bone armor before returning to Cerik and I.

I was beginning to get the sense that she was just a little bit vain.

“So this deal, for supplies, you said?”

I nodded. “I’m planning for a longer expedition to the demon lands, and since those pesky merchants are raising their shipping prices—no offence, Cerik—I thought I’d handle everything up front.”

“Oh, you’re talking about that beetle pirate!” She leaned forward, lowering her voice. “Can you believe that she’s a human? I couldn’t believe it at first, but it’s been confirmed.”

“How absurd.” I shook my head. “A human woman, betraying her own species? Despicable.”

Amy covered a snort with a well-timed cough.

“I know!” Leora leaned closer to me. “Father is still focused on the Demon Queen, but I’m not so sure she’s the biggest threat at the moment.”

“You have to make an example of traitors and usurpers.” I smacked my fist into my palm.

“I agree.” Leora paused, raising her hand to her mouth. “And while I can’t share the specifics, know that the palace already does have a plan in the works to find that upstart and bring her to justice.”

I felt a thrill go through me. Outwardly, I just smiled wider. “And not a moment too soon, I’d say! Why, as a human that woman could just walk into the capital, maybe even into the palace, and no one would be able to stop her!”

Lenora nodded rapidly. “It’s terrifying to think about, isn’t it?”

“Worry not, princess.” I clasped her hands in mine. “I maybe a but a lowly adventurer, but if this perfidious beetle dared show her face in front of me, I’d lay down my very life, to keep her from harming a golden hair upon your head.”

She giggled, half playing along with the bit, but who doesn’t like being treated like a princess?

“My, so dashing.” She flicked a not so sly glance at Cerik. “That’s the surest way to a maiden’s heart.”

“I would do all that and more for but a moment of your attention.”

“Oh stop.” She pushed my shoulder playfully. “You needn’t lay it on so thick.”

I caught her cheek. “Then let me lay it out instead, your highness. We have only just met, but already I know that each moment of beauty and joy in my future, I shall say ‘ah, but I would trade all this and more, for but a moment of my princess’s affection.’”

A true blush dusted her cheeks. And, unbidden, she leaned slightly more into my palm.

“It would be…perhaps foolish of me, to encourage such interest from a woman I’d just met, no matter how lovely.”

“I know I am beneath your station, Princess.” I let my smile take a melancholic tinge.

“But,” she replied, “Can’t a maiden’s heart be moved by such ardent devotion?”

“If your heart moves,” I said. “Know that it has already moved mine.”

She gave a breathless laugh, before pulling back. “Ah, I would not break your heart so carelessly, Miss Taylor.”

I nodded. “And I…have to leave soon.” I sighed. “I promised myself I would make this journey, no matter how much Papa tried to dissuade me.”

“I should not draw you from your course.”

“You are as kind as you are beautiful, Highness,” I said. “But perhaps, if it would not trouble you so much, I would love to see you again once, before I go, and see, perhaps, if I was simply struck through the heart by your beauty or…”

Despite herself, Leora leaned forward once more. “Or…?”

I gave a quiet laugh. “As you said, Princess, perhaps best not to speak it yet, or else risk scaring it away.”

She nodded, lashes fluttering. “I think,” she said, before pausing. She said nothing for a long few seconds, blue eyes taking in every inch of me, searching. Vain or not, I doubted I was the first to ply Princess Leora with compliments. She searched every inch of me with sapphire sharp eyes, searching for the lie.

So, I showed her the truth.

I did find her beautiful. She reminded me a little bit of Lisa, in her straight blonde hair, in her secret little smile. Even in a short conversation she’d shown herself to be playful. I could see myself liking her very much.

I showed her that, and hid the scarab inked upon my back.

Leora stood. “Come to the palace tomorrow,” she commanded, “and join me in the gardens.”

“It would be my greatest honor,” I said.

She nodded once, twice. “Also, Taylor…please.” She bit her lip. “It would make me happy if you called me by my name.”

I grasped her hand, pressing another kiss against her knuckles. “I’ll see you tomorrow…Leora.”

“Tomorrow,” she breathed. Then she turned, and with surprising poise, walked gracefully from the café. Her retainer sent me one last look, dark eyes searching mine, before he joined the guards.

I let out a long breath, relaxing back in my chair.

It looked like I’d have an interesting day, tomorrow. I was…looking forward to the challenge.

“Okay,” Amy said. “What the flying fuck was that?”

I gave a significant look around the very much not private café. It was one thing to be inconspicuous when no one else was looking at you, but I had just very publicly flirted with the princess, and every eye in the room was upon me.

Cerik cleared his throat. “Thanks.”

I shrugged. “You seemed uncomfortable, and well, I didn’t quite expect her to go with it.”

“What?” Malori’s eyes narrowed. “You were lying?”

“Of course, I wasn’t lying.” Except about the obvious things. “She’s gorgeous, and I had fun talking with her.” I shrugged. “I also, kinda feel bad for her, a little.”

“Oh sure, feel bad for the princess.”

I reached out, patting Angelica’s head. “I’m sure her life hasn’t been a trial, by any stretch, but it can’t be easy, finding someone when you’re the heir to the throne, on top of all the other stuff that’s happening. Plus, she’s just a teenager, right? Barely a year or two younger than me.”

“Then why’d you do it?” Amy asked. “Coulda just played it off. Hell, that probably would have been easier.”

“It’s a dog eat dog world.” I shrugged. “If Leora is going to invite me to the Palace, I’m going to say yes.”