Non Serviam: Chapter 7 (Patreon)

Chapter 7: Stations of the Cross

Koneko Tojou didn’t blink.

A fact that that I had become intimately familiar with over the last week. When she wanted something, the youngest girl in Rias’s peerage would turn her golden eyes on you like spotlights, probing for any hint of weakness. Rias herself usually folds in about a quarter of a second.

Not that I was immune.

“Koneko.” I met her gaze head on. “It’s a church bake sale.”

She pouted, cheeks puffing out.

Everything about the girl is designed to maximize cuteness, and Rias clearly had her school uniform tailored with that in mind. Koneko has the essence of a small white kitten, with her pixie cut hair and soft features.

It made her very hard to say no to.

I sighed. “This is my own fault.”

After my spar with Kiba, Rias introduced me to the last member of her peerage the next day. Koneko Tojou was a Rook, with enhanced strength and endurance that was belied by her small size.

Gaspar had suggested I bring cookies, and from that point on Koneko decided that I was acceptable. For my part, I wasn’t above bribery if it meant I had some allies, even if it did mean I’d become Koneko’s dedicated sweets dispenser.

Rias had found the whole thing adorable. Spouting off about how, “at least the cute members of my family like you!”

Kiba and Akeno remained on the fence concerning me, at best.

“So it’s an even split,” I’d replied. “Between the people who want me here and those who don’t.”

“Taylor, I want you here,” she’d said.

I hadn’t had the heart to say that only confirmed my point. I could only be so rude to Rias, even if she did ban Kiba and I from sparring after the second time after I’d broken his nose. Really, it had been his fault for testing my defenses so aggressively.

Kiba turned into a real blood knight once you got past his pleasant façade. I was beginning to suspect that Rias had composed her entire peerage around the concept of Gap Moe, and I shuddered to consider my place in it.

Back to the matter at hand. “I made a mistake, spoiling you so much,” I said.

Koneko loved taking trips to around Kuoh with me because I was more than willing to spend Rias’s money on Avant Garde bakeries selling elaborate slices of cake the size of two fingers. I thought that was our plan for today as well, until she spotted fliers for a church bake sale and decided that we, as devils, had a duty to attend.

“Not a mistake.” Koneko held out the flier aggressively. “Important reconnaissance.”

I raised an eyebrow. “That’s your excuse.”

She nodded. “Important.”

“What’s so important? No one’s going to show up.”

“More for us.”

I looked at the flier again. In the middle of the awful clip art composition were some surprisingly well-shot pictures of baked goods. I might even be tempted, except for one thing.

“Those are biblically accurate crucifixion cookies.”

Her eyes flashed, lips parting slightly.

“You really want to eat raspberry blood?” I asked.

“Devil.” She shook the flier again. “Eat him.”

I placed a hand against my face. “Consuming the body and the blood is a sacrament, you know.”

“Don’t care.”

No one would ever expect that Kuoh’s ‘soothing’ school mascot would be so unhinged about Jesus cupcakes. On my one hand, I enjoyed seeing a side of her that others did not.

On the regenerated hand, it felt like I was the minder.

Maybe Rias was better at this whole peerage business than I thought.

“There is no reason for us to go.”

Koneko tapped the picture of Jesus—I winced—getting nailed to the cross. “There’s one reason.”

I snorted. “You know what, sure.”

She brightened.

I reached out and tousled her hair. “I don’t want to listen to your whining all day.” I dodged her answering jab.

“Hmph.” She pouted again.

For my part, I just started walking again. We’d already been halfway to the metro station, and Koneko scampered after me. She continued to frown at me until I dipped into the 11-7 underneath the tracks for a quick lunch.

I picked up Koneko’s favorite tuna mayonnaise onigiri, and two more for myself. Swiped one card for the food, swiped another for the turnstiles, and we were on the train happily munching our food.

I sighed happily at the flavor of fresh rice and seaweed. Brockton Bay hadn’t exactly been food capital of the US, but it was kind of sad that most of my favorite restaurants were outcompeted by literal convenience store rice balls.

The train lurched once before gliding smoothly away from the station on elevated tracks. From the vantage point, I watched Kuoh scroll by beneath us, cute little houses merging seamlessly with cleanly-designed skyscrapers. It’s what I imagined Japan looked like before Leviathan.

“Once, my dad fought to get public transportation back in my hometown,” I said.

Koneko turned her unblinking eyes at me.

I shrugged. “It was a ferry, and he never managed to get it running again, but.” I looked back out at Kuoh. “Sometimes I still wonder what my life might have been like if he’d succeeded. Or if I focused my energy on building something sooner, instead of just fighting and fighting and fighting…”

Koneko reached out, putting a hand on my wrist. I blinked, looking down.

She was such a small thing, but I knew those tiny fingers held enough strength to bend steel. Still, her hand rested so lightly against mine, as if to let me know she would pull back at my slightest discomfort.

Instead, I rolled my hand over slowly, letting her fingers settle against my palm. Koneko squeezed gently, and I returned it.

I guess I also found her soothing.

That didn’t stop me from laughing when her other hand snaked out towards my second onigiri. I pushed it towards her. “Aren’t you going to have enough snacks later?”

“Always room from sweets.” Koneko took a bite.

The church hosting the bake sale sat on the edge of the city, inasmuch as cities had edges in Japan. Right over the next hill was the start of some suburbs and other buildings that lay exactly between Kuoh and her closest neighbor. Despite that, the church itself was reasonably remote.

Perhaps the devils left it that way on purpose.

A short walk up the hill from the nearest bus stop revealed a half circle of tables on the front lawn. Unadorned white tablecloth fluttered gently in the breeze. Not a single person was in sight, but I did make out the full Passion displayed in incredible confectionary detail.

All fourteen stations of it.

In the center of the tables sat a small white box with an opening in the front. A sign on top proudly declared, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. (Matthew 5:6)” and then in smaller font beneath. “Donations welcome.”

Koneko gathered a plate and began perusing her first treat. She immediately gravitated towards the ones with blood and nails, maybe because they had the most icing, but also because Devil.  For my part, I erred on the side of caution and picked a cookie with Jesus’s face iced on it. I disguised my wince at His name with a bite of my treat.

Too much sugar.

I worked my way through the cookie as Koneko finished constructing a leaning tower of confectionary. I thought it would certainly tip, but the Rook balanced it expertly on one hand, leaving the other free to snag one last shortbread adorned with an artful rendition of romans nailing Him to a cross.

With a sigh, I pulled out my wallet.

At least Rias gave me enough cash. I did a quick guestimate on the amount of food Koneko took and slid a wad of ten thousand yen into the donations box.

That should cover her first plate.

When I turned away from the donations box, a priest was standing behind us.

“Blessings unto you!” He stepped forward, frocked coat swaying in the breeze. “I’m sure the Lord is pleased by your spirit of charity.”

Despite his friendly demeanor, I found myself on edge as he glided closer.

“Thank you…Father.” His robes looked odd, but I knew he was a priest from his collar. Only priests wore that white choker thing, though I’d never learned what it was called.

His eyes glinted. “A believer?”

I cleared my throat. We’d never been religious, but… “My grandmother made sure I went to church.” At least, before Mom stopped letting her visit. She died before I was old enough to know what that argument was about.

“Wonderful!” He spread his arms wide, smile growing even wider. “I am gladdened that you have accepted the word of or Lord and Savior Jesus Christ into your hearts.”

I suppressed the flare of pain at the words. Somehow, his name felt sharper when it came from the mouth of a believer. A quick glance to the side revealed that Koneko was still happily munching on pastries, she hadn’t even heard.

“And in yours,” I murmured. “This is quite the spread you have here. I’m surprised no one else showed up.”

“Ah, well, what can you expect in a pagan country like this?” The man shook his head, white hair whipping back and forth. “But that matters little in the face of faith.”

“Pagan country?” My eyes flicked across him. “A little outdated, don’t you think?”

“But what else am I supposed to call a nation that has rejected the Lord? Feh.” He ran a hand through his white hair. “At least the small congregations here are humble enough, but they lack devotion.”

I hummed. Christians, I’d known only a few, but zealots I recognized no matter what color they wore. “It seems like you’d be better spent somewhere else, then.”

“I go where the Lord wills!” he shouted. “If He says I should come to this place, then I shall do my utmost to make sure that his lost lambs return to the flock, rather than burn in hell.” His eyes locked onto mine. “You don’t want to burn in hell, do you?”

I shifted my weight, eyes narrowing. “Is it true that Hell is a recent invention, Father? My last priest said that there aren’t mentions of it in the bible.”

“Sounds like a fu-filthy heretic.” The priest’s smile had crossed the line from wide to unhinged. “It was Jesus Christ who said if your eye causes you to sin gouge it out.” His hand lashed forward.

I streaked back in a heartbeat.

His fingers closed around the empty air where my eye had just been. “It is better to enter the Kingdom of God with one eye,” he continued, unphased. “than with two eyes be thrown into hell.”

“Thank you for the lesson, Father.” I bent my knees lightly. “Koneko, I think it’s time to go, we wouldn’t want to ruin your appetite.”

She glanced between me and the priest, before mournfully setting down her plate.

I nodded when she came over to my side. “Thank you, father…”

Instead of giving his name, the priest tilted his head. “You know, you moved quite quickly there.”

I kept my expression flat. “Like you said, it’s a dangerous country.”

“Oh, it is, it is.” His eyes remained sharp. A casual appeal to his casual racism was not enough to escape. “All sorts of nasty things around, heretics, pagans, filthy fucking devils.”

“We’ll be leaving now,” I said.

“At first, I took you for believers!” He followed, staying just outside of range as I began to walk backwards. “Was that my mistake? What are you, little girls?”

“Just someone who doesn’t like the sermon,” I replied. “Maybe you should’ve spent some money on that, instead of the cupcakes.”

“Oh, you want to hear a sermon?” He whipped out a knife, leveling it at the both of us. “Well then why don’t you sit down, and I’ll preach the good word. If you make it through the whole thing without flinching, I might even let you go.”

I frowned. Now matter how painful the word of god was to devils, I trusted myself to bear it. I was less sanguine about letting Koneko endure that torture.

“Let me guess,” I said, “Jehovah’s Witness?”

The priest threw his head back and laughed. “No! No, I’m not one of those dickless godbotherers. I am a true priest of God! I am here to make straight the way of the Lord by cutting down mountains and plowing over the fucking valleys!”  The knife flashed back and forth through the air. “So which one are you?”

“It’s rude to ask someone’s name like that,” I shot back.

Gently, I pushed Koneko towards the stairs. Hopefully she wouldn’t think I was babying her as I started to circle the other direction.

“Ah true, I don’t even care about your name.” He nodded to himself. “You’re probably just some shitty devil.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked. “Are you actually insane?”

“See, you say things like that, and I almost believe you. But…you’re speaking fluent Italian.”

My blood went cold. Stupid auto-translating devil power. I’d forgotten.

“At first, I thought I was just lucky, and a nice pair of girls on holiday saw my fliers. I said, ‘God must have directed you my way so I could save your souls!’” He placed hand on his chest. “Of course, when I saw your eyes, I wondered if you were an exorcist like me.” He giggled gleefully. “But you flubbed all of your confirmation codes.”

I continued to circle, even as every word out of this man’s mouth made me more and more sure that he was a serious problem.

After this, I was going to have a long talk with Rias about what the church was up to.

“So that leaves two choices. Either you’re a murder who just happens to speak flawless Italian and wound up at my bake sale. Or you’re a shitty fuckingdevil. Either way…” he licked his lips. “You should know my name is Freed Sellzen, and I’m going to carve it onto your fucking corpse.”

Koneko came down on top of him with an axe kick.

He dodged.

Her foot broke the soil, sending up an explosion of dirt.

Freed came up on the other side of the tables. “You are!” He clapped his hands. “You are shitty devils! Never thought you’d be stupid enough to actually show up or I would have used holy water cookies!”

I grunted, settling into a ready stance. “Next time we go to a bakery, Koneko.”

She came up next to me, fists raised. “Good cookies. We should take the rest after.”

“Not the time.”

“Two of you, for little old me?” He laughed again. “I’m already half chub and the fight hasn’t started.”

I wrinkled my nose. “He’s lost his knife, let’s make this quick.”

“Lost my knife?” He reached into his robes and pulled out an elaborate gun and a bladeless hilt. “I just wanted to play with these.”

With a flick, a blade of pure light grew from the hilt, shining so brightly it almost hurt to look at.

“Just the things for killing shitty devils like you!”

“Of course, the priests have fucking lightsabers,” I muttered. “Call Rias, I’ll keep him distracted.”

Koneko nodded. “Un.”

“Keep me distracted, will you?” He jumped.

I used the same trick with Kiba to send him a step wide.

The blade cut a humming line through the air. I punched.

Missed as well.

A laughing Freed slid past me on his knees, gun out. I danced away from a spray of bullets. Instead of lead, pellets of light left scorch marks on the stone.

One found Koneko’s hand.

She hissed, dropping the phone.

“Don’t think I’ll let you escape so easily!”

I dashed back, but a second volley of bullets pushed me back. Koneko hunkered down. Freed shot her a few times to no effect before a flick of his wrist put a round right through her cell.

“Fucking asshole.” I picked up a Jesus cookie and threw.

“Heretic! Sacrilege!” The lightsaber cut it clean through.

He shot at me again. I jumped back, flipping a table.

A soft gasp. “No!”

I grunted. “Stop thinking about the cupcakes, Koneko!”

I heard a crash.

“St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle!” Freed yelled. Koneko let out another gasp as the pain lanced through us both. “Be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the Devil. May GOD rebuke him!”

The second verse hurt enough to make me wince. I forced myself upright, seeing Freed standing over a collapsed Koneko, blazing sword held high.

The grin on his face stood in stark relief. “We humbled pray.”

I drew on a brute power and kicked the table as hard as I could.

Freed jumped. The wood clipped Koneko, splintering harmlessly, but it forced him to cover his face.

I was there in two steps, roundhouse digging deep into his side.

The man went flying across the stone courtyard.

I jerked Koneko upright, grabbing Freed’s knife as well, only to hiss in pain. “Who the fuck carves crosses into their weapons?” I held the pommel with two fingers and glared at the filigree cross inscribed in the handle.

“Serves you shitty devils right!” Freed stood up, looking no worse for the wear. This time he hadn’t even dropped a weapon. “That is a weapon of the Lord thy GOD!”

Koneko winced again next to me, but just saying ‘god’ was less painful than the full prayer had been. Still, she clearly wasn’t used to this type of internal pain.

“Koneko, get out of here.” I tore a strip of fabric from my sleeve; fare thee well my Brand shirt. May I live long enough for Rias to buy me another one.

She shook her head. “Help you.”

I sighed, glaring at Freed. He grinned back, hopping on his feet as he waited for my next move.

“The Lord is my shepherd.” I wound the fabric over the cross. “There is nothing I shall want.”

Koneko staggered half a step, but mostly I savored the ugly expression that flickered across Freed’s face.

“Those prayers are really tough,” I told Koneko. “I won’t be able to handle him if I’m worried about you staggering at the wrong minute.”

“Doesn’t…bother you,” she replied.

“I’m used to the pain.”

She huffed. “Kiba should be here.”

I raised an eyebrow, but she’d know better than I. “Just get going, jump down the stairs. Get Rias.”

She shifted, but… “Okay.”

A single step put me between her and Freed. “Now.”

She turned.

“O Prince of the heavenly hosts, by the power of God!” Freed yelled. “Thrust into hell Satan!”

Koneko tripped over her feet, stumbling in pain and surprise.

Freed advanced, more prayers on his lips.

“Sorry, Koneko.” I picked her up. She blinked up at me in surprise.

Then I threw her down the hill.

Rooks were sturdy; it would probably hurt less that way.

On instinct, I threw myself to the side. A spray of light bullets peppered the tiles, and I scrambled, sprinting until I slid to a stop behind another table.

“Really think she can outrun me?” Freed called.

I kicked the table at him again.

This time, he cut it in half with a flick of his sword.

With bent space, I was a step behind. My stolen knife lashed out, inside his guard.

Instead of dodging, Freed turned into the blow.

My knife caught in the folds of his robes, drawing a shallow line of blood.

In return, he shot me twice in the gut.

I grunted, headbutting the gleeful grin right off his face.

The madman rolled with the blow, coming up and leveling his gun at me before I could follow.

“Neat trick!” His voice sounded nasal through the broken nose. “Got any more?”

“A few.” I pressed a hand against the two burnt holes in my stomach. No blood, though that probably wasn’t good for my long-term chances. “How many more bullets does that stupid thing have?”

A bloody grin was my answer. “A few.”

He took a step back.

I snorted. “C’mon, aren’t you going to carve your name into my corpse?”

“After I shoot you a few times, first.”

“What a coward. I thought you were here to plow mountains and cut valleys.”

He giggled. “I’ll plow your valley with my mountain of a cock once I’m done with you.”

“And here I thought it was only little boys.” I sighed. “C’mon, isn’t it more fun to chop me up all close and personal?”

“Hmmm.” He tilted his head, considering for a second. “No.”

He pulled the trigger.

I sucked in a breath, focusing on that one trick I’d tried on Gaspar, the one that didn’t work.

And stood.

The first pair of shots went wide to the right, and my eyes widened. He’d read my dodge. If I’d run, I would have ducked right into that first shot.

Of course, Freed quickly corrected his aim, and the next six shots split dead even between my chest and my head.

This time, they splashed harmlessly against my skin.

I grinned, even as my stores of magic dropped precipitously. “Whoops.”

He frowned, shaking his gun. “The fuck?” His glare turned suspicious.

I shrugged. “I was hoping to get your sword before you figured it out.”

“Adaptability?” He shook his head immediately. “No. You’re just a liar. All devils are liars.”

“Think whatever you want. I—” Another light bullet broke against my face. “Can do this until my King gets here.”

He blinked. “Then I’ll just kill them too.”

“Do it, you won’t.”

Freed glared. I stood, dagger held idly in one hand. I could take maybe two or three more shots, then I’d have to dodge. The rest of the tables were pretty far, but maybe I could make it, if he truly called my bluff.

Instead, Freed snorted, tossing the gun away. “Have it your way then.”

I held back a sigh of relief. “Show me what your little glow stick can do.”

“I’ll—”

“Stick me with your limp, godbothering cock, I know.” I waved my hand. “Let’s get on with it.”

Freed glowered, flipping his sword into a ready stance.

I didn’t know if my dodge trick would work again; Freed had shown himself to be remarkably quick on the uptake, but I didn’t really have any other options. Just shifting my stance made the muscles in my abdomen scream like crazy.

Maybe I could tank a hit, but after my trick with the bullets, he’d expect that too.

What a mess.

I lifted my dagger.

If I died here, it was just a pawn sacrifice. Better that Koneko get away clean than someone like me.

“Freed Sellzen!”

We both glanced up in surprise.

“What did you do to all the cookies I baked!” A young woman with ink-black wings dropped out of the sky. I wasn’t sure who was more surprised by her appearance, me or Freed, but the way she flounced over to him in her lace and petticoats was incredible to watch. “I spent hours on this, and you blew it all up before I even got here!”

Freed recovered about a second later. “I was fighting a shitty devil! If you’d been here on time we would have killed her already.”

It was then that the angel—and really, I should have expected angels, but still—turned to look at me. She looked a picture of Victorian elegance, with her tiny face framed by elegant golden curls.

“Not my fault, Freed cut the table in half.” I pointed to the table Freed had very much cut in half. “See the scorch marks? I just have a knife.”

Now she looked upset. “Do you know how much I spent on this?” She glowered at Freed. “I’ve half a mind to kill you first—I slavedon this. I made art!”

“It’s the shitty devil’s fault!”

The angel waved a hand. “So just kill her and get it over with. You’re the one I’m upset with!”

“Is killing me the only option?” I asked.

She snorted. “Of course, we can’t have your little King know we’re here so early.”

“Unfortunate.” I nodded. “Because Freed already let my King’s rook escape. In fact, my King should be here any minute now.” I tilted my head. “I don’t imagine finding my corpse will make her any more inclined to leave you alone.”

“Shit.” She turned to face me fully. “Damage control, then. I’m telling Raynare you fucked us, Freed.”

He stuck his tongue out. “Bite me, Mitty.”

“This is why I hate working with amateurs.” She flicked her wrist, a spear of light blooming in her hand. “Sorry, kid, it’s just business.”

“Kid?” I raised an eyebrow. “You look like a small Victorian child afflicted with consumption.”

“Really? Thank you.” She preened. “Looking this good isn’t free, you know! So happy you noticed.”

“Glad to help.”

“I’ll remember you, you know, for a bit.” She leveled her spear at me. “Be grateful.”

I was much more grateful for the red summoning circle that appeared right next to me.

“Ah,” I said. “That would be the boss.”

The look of wide-eyed shock on Mitty’s face was worth two shots to the gut. The angel took one last look at Freed before darting away in a swirl of black feathers.

Freed gaped. “Well fuck you too!” He leveled his lightsaber in both hands. “More ass for me.”

The circle pulsed; Rias appeared surrounded by the rest of her peerage.

She looked unamused.

Freed spouted off another crass one-liner, but Rias only had eyes for me.

“Taylor!” She grabbed my elbows, gaze lingering on the burnt wound in my stomach. “This…exorcist shot you?”

I nodded. “It would have been nice to know about the crazy priests before one showed up.”

“One shouldn’t have shown up.” Rias stepped in front of me. “And he’s going to regret it very much.”

Freed grinned, but for the first time, I saw a hint of tension in his posture. “You and what army, milk-sacs?”

Rias frowned. “I should be asking you that question.” She raised her hand, a crimson light splaying across her fingers. The magic circle she summoned hummed with barely-restrained destruction.

The door to the church slammed open. “God Dammit, Freed!”

This time it was Rias’s turn to be nonplused as another trio of angels marched out. Their leader glowered at the priest from beneath her messy black hair. “You and Mittelt won’t stop scream—” She noticed us. “ing.”

“Ah.” Rias’s circle grew larger, the red-black flame of destruction licking at its edges. “The army I was asking about.”

“N-now just wait a second!” The angel waved her hands. “I’m sure this is just a misunderstanding, why don’t we—”

“You entered my territory without permission,” Rias said. “You attacked my peerage unprovoked.” The weight of her power pressed out into the world, and I would have staggered, had it not held me gently, unwilling to hurt me even subconsciously. “The only thing I do not understand, is how you thought you would get away with this.”

The other woman’s face twisted into something ugly. “Fine, I hate espionage work anyway.”

She summoned a spear of light, followed after by her two companions.

“So I don’t have to offer you a chance to surrender?”

The angel leveled her spear. “Crimson-Haired Ruin Princess or not, you’ll die if I stab you through the—”

A black flame of nothing crested over them like a wave, breaking and shattering their bodies the instant before everything vanished from sight.

A moment later, the black was gone. Only feathers and scorched stone remained.

To the side, Akeno laughed. “They talked quite large, for such small fry.”

Koneko huffed. “Pigeons.”

“Well.” Rias dusted off her hands. “That handles that. Really, what were they thinking?”

“It seems they weren’t thinking at all, Prez,” Akeno replied. “Still, you couldn’t have left one alive?”

Rias pouted. “I didn’t think they’d all die so easily.”

“You’re in luck.” I pointed. “The priest managed to dodge.”

“Ahahaha.” From the other side of the courtyard, Freed Sellzen leveraged himself out of the divot he’d hidden in. His frock was torn and scoured away, blood running freely down his right arm, but despite that, he looked energized. “Damn! Did you see the look on that bitch’s face!” He laughed again. “Hey, listen, tits, why don’t we just kiss and make up. Anyone who—”

“Kiba, Akeno,” Rias said. “Alive, but I don’t particularly care if he’s unarmed.”

Freed giggled. “Sure, let’s dance!” He held up his sword.

Kiba summoned a blade to his own hand, taking up a ready stance.

Then Freed hurled the lightsaber like a spinning disk and booked it down the hill as fast as his legs could carry him.

Someone picked me up, pulling me out of the way of the blade. I saw that selfsame flash of red-black from Rias as she blasted it to kingdom come.

By the time the smoke cleared, we’d already lost sight of the priest.

“Shall I pursue, Prez?” Kiba asked.

Rias worried her lip. “No. I’m sure you could catch up to him, but Freed Sellzen isn’t someone I want any of you take on by yourself.”

“Oh.” I nodded to myself as Akeno put me back on my feet. “So somehow, I managed to find a famous crazy exorcist that no one told me about.” I eyed Akeno, who was doing her best not to look at me. “And thanks.”

She sniffed. “It would be such a shame to go through all this trouble just for you to die anyway.”

“Yeah.” I sighed. “I’m starting to feel the same.”