Damned if I Do: Chapter 13 (Patreon)

Chapter 13: Aren’t You a Little Short for a Mage?

Arthas’ knighting was, in comparison to the parade, a subdued affair.

Oh sure, all the important nobles and advisors in Lordaeron were present, but despite that, the ceremony was somber, held in the small chapel attached to the palace itself, instead of the grand cathedral to the Light we’d gone past on our way into the city.

I caught my first glimpse of Paladin Uther as he said a few words before knighting the Prince. He seemed like a severe man, going grey at the temples. Despite that, Arthas himself seemed to care a great deal about his words, and I was just seated in the pews with the rest of the spectators anyway. I certainly wasn’t going to make a scene.

Now, dinner was another story.

I’d gone along with Jaina, breaking out our formal robes and letting the innumerable maids help us prepare for the formal banquet welcoming Arthas, and by extension our delegation, into the city.

“After you enter, make sure you follow behind Apprentice Thendar.” I rolled my eyes as Jaina fussed with my hair. “Oh it’s been so long since I’ve been to a formal banquet.”

“Jaina.” I caught her hands. “Take a deep breath. You’re not even sitting next to Arthas for the actual meal.”

She coughed, looking away. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“I think you know.” I gave her hands a brief squeeze. “Don’t worry about me, I know how to use a salad fork.” Mom had never put much stock in traditional etiquette, but she also knew that manners opened doors, so when Emma and I wanted to go to lessons when we were younger, and Zoe was already footing the bill…

Well, let’s just say I’m happy to finally have a better reason to remember those happier days.

“I thought you said your country didn’t have kings and nobility.” Jaina folded her arms.

“You’ll wrinkle your dress.”

She let her arms drop to her sides, and I breezed past the question before that maid giving me looks decided I was some kind of assassin. “And I told you, just because my home didn’t have any kings or queens doesn’t mean we didn’t…acknowledge other countries.”

Really, it had nothing to do with that, but I was going for ‘exotic foreigner’, not ‘radical revolutionary’.

“Right, right.” Jaina nodded, smoothing the immaculate front of her robes. “And you’re right, it’s just another formal banquet. This is all for Arthas after all, we’re just part of the delegation.”

“Exactly.” I smiled. “Just make sure not to eat too much so you can dance when he asks.”

“Yes, of course.” She nodded absently. “One should never overindulge in a formal…” Her eyes snapped to me, narrowing. “I see what you did there.”

I patted her shoulder one more time. “Come on, wouldn’t want to be late, would we?”

Jaina huffed, but she followed along. “I doubt I’ll be the only one dancing tonight.”

I ignored her little dig; there wasn’t any bite to it, after all. What did I care if I only got to dance with a few of Arthas’ knights? I wasn’t here to make friends.

Aloud, I just chuckled. “If possible,” I whispered, “I’d skip the whole thing and keep studying.” A brief pulse of Void magic muffled the words from outside listeners, consigning the sounds to the Void, as it were.

She sighed fondly, earlier annoyance already forgotten. “Oh Taylor, only you.”

I smiled. “If it were anyone other than Arthas, you’d feel the same way.”

Jaina blushed. “Well…I wouldn’t say that.”

“Sure you wouldn’t.” I pulled her along, and soon enough we rejoined the rest of the delegation. There, we quickly got set up in the correct order. The rest of the nobility didn’t line up like school children, but I saw a few who’d come to watch us proceed into the banquet hall before arriving fashionably late.

There was a suitable amount of pageantry, but I didn’t have to throw any fireworks, so I mostly tuned it out. Just because I appreciated the importance of PR didn’t change that I was an introvert at heart, and happy enough to just find my seat and smile politely as the majordomo announced Dukes of whatsit, and Ladies of wheresthat.

The ceremony’s ‘seating chart’—there was some fancy name for the order of seating, but I’d suffered through public school and I knew a seating chart when I saw one—specified that the royalty be seated at the head of the table.

That would be King Terenas at the head, with Queen Lianne to his left and Arthas to his right. Immediately to Arthas’ right was Kael’Thas, as placing him anywhere else would be a grievous insult to someone, and princess Calia to Queen Lianne’s left.

From there, the plan was to intersperse the five apprentices, as well as Rhonin and Vereesa, in groups of one or two down the table, to allow for maximum surface area for schmoozing. Somehow, Jaina and I got slotted in directly to the left of Princess Calia herself. I blamed Arthas for that one.

“So,” I murmured as I slipped into my seat, “did you tell everyone I was an ambassador for another world or something?”

Jaina smiled politely. “I simply asked to be seated near friends.”

To her right, the Princess let out an indelicate sound. “Are we friends now, Lady Proudmoore?” She wasn’t quite slouching in her chair, but she certainly was coming as close to it as royal posture would allow. “I suppose I am to be friends with any woman my brother brings home?” She cast her blue eyes over the both of us. “Both of them at the same time, even?”

Jaina paused for a moment at that, her lessons on decorum clashing with the sudden, unprovoked insult from a supposed ally. I, however, was used to this kind of thing.

Public school again, go figure.

“I’m sure her highness is friends with all kinds.” I examined my nails. “But poaching is such poor form.”

Jaina sucked in a breath, even as Calia’s face twisted for a moment before smoothing out into a placid smile. I kept my expression bland, even as the man who’d just been seated to my left suddenly looked like he was reconsidering his choice of venue.

But despite all that, the only insult in my words were Calia’s own insinuation about Arthas’ relationship with Jaina and I. If anyone else called me out, they’d be calling out the princess as well. It was a paper shield, but I’d done more with less.

Lisa, if you could just see me now…

After a moment, Calia gave a perfunctory laugh, and I saw Queen Lianne turn her attention towards us. “Arthas found someone mouthy in Dalaran, didn’t he? And for someone so small as well.”

Well, from my point of view, all the people on Azeroth were just freakishly tall. It was wild where my own 5’10” only put me at barely-average height for a human woman. Still, if Calia thought talking about my height would throw me, she clearly had no idea what she was talking about.

That didn’t mean that crossing swords with her didn’t hold danger. Just like with Kael’thas, I didn’t have the experience to make it through a drawn out political knife fight without stabbing myself in the foot. The only tool I had in my arsenal was brutal honesty.

“Thank you, your highness.” I smiled at her, confident that my mask was at least as good as her own. “I was eager to meet you as well. Arthas spoke of you in the most glowing terms.”

Calia was younger than Arthas, but even she wasn’t so inexperienced to let her expression slip for a second time. Still, her eyes flashed as she tried to pick out the insult in my words. “Did he?”

I only nodded, smiling placidly. “Indeed, and you as well, your majesty.” I bowed my head deeper to Queen Lianne, “If you would let me, I’d like to express my admiration for Arthas’ mother; you’ve raised a splendid son.”

Jaina hissed out a breath between clenched teeth.

What did I do to upset her?

For her part, Queen Lianne either ignored the byplay or missed it entirely. “How kind of you to say, Apprentice Taylor. Still, I can hardly take all the credit. Lord Uther bears as much of the credit as I do, at least.”

Lord Uther was seated farther down the other side of the table, still dressed in his ceremonial plate from the knighting ceremony.

“As you say, your Majesty,” I smiled. “Even still, it’s an honor to finally meet you.”

She smiled, and it looked much more natural than her daughter’s. I wondered if she was just a better actress, or if she had missed the little knife fight Calia and I had just gotten into. “It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” She turned her head towards Jaina. “And you as well, Jaina. Why, you look as stiff as a statue. Has my ability as a hostess dropped so much I cannot even put you at ease?”

“Of course not!” Jaina barely managed to keep her voice at a reasonable level. “It’s always a joy to be invited to Lordaeron, and your skills are impeccable, Queen Lianne.”

“Dear.” Lianne leaned slightly toward the three of us. “Didn’t I tell you to call me Lianne?”

“It is not a privilege I wish to make light of,” Jaina said.

“Please, indulge an old woman.”

Jaina swallowed, before smiling again, a bit more naturally this time. “Of course…Lianne.”

“Isn’t that much better?”

I smiled as well. Of course, I noticed how she didn’t extend me the same courtesy. Good thing I wasn’t making a move on Arthas, or I would have been cut down to size right there. I nodded to the queen to show I was on the same page as her. Arthas and Jaina were just too precious together.

“How is Prince Kael’thas, anyway, girls?” Queen Lianne asked. “I’ve heard much of him, but less in recent years.”

“Kael?” Jaina blinked. At his name, the elven prince looked across the table towards us. He was seated even with Calia after all, and the table was not so wide you couldn’t converse across it. “Your majesty, should you wish to know of me, you need but ask.” He somehow pulled off a seated bow with panache. “I am entirely at your disposal for the remainder of my stay here.”

Queen Lianne smiled. “How kind of you to offer, your highness.” Still, the feeling of expectation lingered in the air. Even Arthas and King Terenas pausing in their conversation as they realized the rest of us had been sucked into the same conversation.

I sighed internally before I resolved to put my foot in it for the good of the delegation.

“Prince Kael’thas is an Archmage without parallel, and an unwavering supporter of the Alliance,” I said. “While we apprentices are honored to be a part of this delegation for its own sake, it is also an opportunity to learn from his example.”

“Well said.” Queen Lianna’s smile grew, and she leaned back in her seat again. “Perhaps he will prove a better conversationalist than I, Calia?” She reached out and rested her hand over her daughter’s. “I of all people know how stifling a crown can be.”

Calia’s shoulders stiffened. “I hardly need you to set up tea parties for me, Mother.” She tossed her hair in a way that skirted the very edges of decorum. “Besides, I already have plans with Jaina and Taylor for the morrow.”

“Oh?”

Calia nodded, turning her sharp gaze on the both of us. “Taylor was just expressing how she wished to know me better after Brother shared so much about me. I find myself filled with the same feeling.”

“I would love to catch up with you, Calia.” Jaina regained her footing quickly enough, though I could tell that she was still frazzled. Too long away from court had dulled her instincts for when she couldn’t just throw a water elemental at her problems.

I smiled, tilting my head in a way I’d seen Lisa do half a hundred times. “I do so look forward to becoming bosom friends, Calia.” I placed my fake hand over my chest. “Words cannot describe the depth of admiration I hold for you.”

I put all the sincerity I did not feel into that one statement. It sounded so true that even I believed it for a second.

Which was the point, after all.

“It’s good,” Arthas coughed once, cutting the tension with all the grace and subtlety of his warhammer, “that the two of you have found such firm common ground.”

“Common cause is the basis on which the Alliance stands,” I said.

Calia nodded, her smile every bit as beatific as mine. “We should deepen it wherever possible.”

Now, I had no idea what Calia’s problem with me was. Maybe she didn’t like that Arthas had more friends than she did, maybe she didn’t like that I was a filthy commoner, maybe she just didn’t like that I had better hair than her.

But me? I knew exactly why I had a bone to pick with Calia.

I hated bullies.