Chapter 39: Solemnis (Patreon)

As Well Traveled has, with this update, reached and exceeded 100k words, I'll be doing something fun on Space Battles. The next chapter I post there will also contain a Q/A with Taylor (with QA taking a back seat of course). The thread will be able to ask questions, and I'll take the ones that are the best/most popular. I also will guarantee one question from each of my patrons! If you are interested, just message me over the Patreon IM. 

And now, without further ado,

Chapter 39: Solemnis

I stopped at Morthal just long enough to inform the Jarl of my…success.

She wasn't happy about the appearance of the Dark Brotherhood. Apparently, the locals thought the guild had been wiped out more than a century ago. I declined to participate in that investigation. As far as I was concerned, the matter was done with. I wanted nothing more to do with those women. For wiping out the vampires, I earned a sum of 200 septims—the local currency, and I got to keep the rapier. In all reality, I was far happier to wash my hands of the whole mess than I was about the rewards.

I returned back to the mountain without fanfare, a lead weight in my chest. My wounds were healed, my armor repaired, but that was all. My expression was something dark and brooding, I’m sure. Fortunately, I didn’t stumble across anyone on the way to the kitchen. I needed a glass of water; there was still vampire dust stuck in my throat.

The new data did nothing to make me happier. I was already faster and more agile than Vampires, on a base level. I was equal in strength more or less, with the same room for growth. That string of DNA, and the nasty bits of magic attached to it, held nothing that I hadn’t already accomplished. On top of that, it came with drawbacks that, because of the magic, I might not be able to fully negate.

The glass of water did nothing to negate my growing headache, not that I expected it to. The pulsing ache behind my eyes had no physical causes. That it had started shortly after my encounter with the Listener indicated the cause more clearly than my power ever could.

Just one more straw piled upon my back.

I allowed myself a huff as I dumped the rest of my water in the sink. It wasn’t helping anyway. My head felt heavy, stuffed, as if someone pumped it full till bursting. “It’s all in my head,” I whispered, just to taste the words. I pushed it down, or at least I tried. My power grasped at nothing.

Three pairs of footsteps shook me out of my revere. I looked up at the hallway just in time to see M’gann, Robin, and Wally walk into the kitchen. Raven in floated silently a few seconds after. I schooled my face into an expression of pleasant surprised. “Hey guys,” I said. A quick glance at the clock showed that I’d been gone for the better part of the day. “A bit late isn’t it?”

Wally and Robin grinned, Raven nodded, but Miss Martian frowned at me as if confused. “Taylor? Are you okay?”

I gave a weary chuckle as the boys moved into the kitchen. “It was a bit of a day,” I said, resisting the urge to rub my forehead. “I ran into some trouble when I went to clear my head.”

“Gonna write off that dimension then?” Wally asked. I chose to ignore the part where he was eating as well.

I was, however, wondering when the other shoe was going to drop. Sooner or later, one of them would have to ask…

I shook my head. “I wish, but I need to go back at least a few more times.”

“Oh?”

“There’s an entire college of magic on that Plane,” I told them. “I’m not leaving until I visit, just my luck that I wound up halfway across the planet from it.”

Raven blinked slowly, setting down her book. “An…entire college?”

“Well, unless you think the name ‘Mages’ College of Winterhold’ is a euphemism…”

Her eyes widened slightly. I cocked an eyebrow. When Raven noticed my expression she huffed, returning her attention to the novel in her hands. “Seems interesting, I suppose.”

Through all this, M’gann continued to stare at me when she thought I couldn’t see her. I kept catching it out of the corner of my eye, behind my head—

I sharp spike of pain lanced through my skull. I squelched a hiss.

“M’gann?” Robin said.

“A-ah, I’m fine,” she mumbled. I felt a surge of surprise and alarm, but—I shook my head, forcing those emotions down. I needed to stay calm, just for a bit longer. I just needed some time to decompress.

I needed food as well, but that could wait until after I sorted myself out. A few hours of hunger wouldn’t kill me, enhanced metabolism or no. I’d be back after the rest of the team cleared out. Midnight or something. Maybe later, it’s not like I needed sleep.

I straightened up off the counter. “I’ll talk to you guys later, gonna turn in for the night.” It took effort to make the remark seem casual. I could still feel M’gann staring at me, my headache intensifying. Damn magic. The moment I rounded the corner I fired a counterspell through my head. Nothing changed. My mood darkened, but I kept my face in a neutral expression as I made for my room.

This too shall pass.

“Taylor!” It was M’gann again. I felt the slight breeze as she flew down the hallway towards me. All at once my headache spiked in intensity. I was barely able to stop myself from stumbling.

“Can we do this later?” I asked. “I’m feeling a bit—” in agony “tired.”

“You’re not okay,” she said, landing in front of me.

I blinked at her statement. “What are you talking about?”

“I can… I can hear you.” At her words, the pressure on my skull winched even higher. A vice grip braced on my temples slowly squeezing shut.

I repeated my earlier question through a haze.

M’gann frowned. “It’s… your language doesn’t have the right word!” She shook her head. “If, if I’m right then.”

I staggered.

“Taylor?”

“I…”

She felt so concerned, jabbering on a mile a minute in strangely accented English. Back in the kitchen, Raven was reading a trashy romance novel she’d cover swapped with Crime and Punishment, and the boys were talking about food Wally felt hungry and was sure he could get Robin to pull out the extra icecream and Robin wished he could take off his sunglasses because it was dark but he couldn’t and—

M’gann’s fingers made contact with my forehead. 

I gasped, sinking to the ground as the pain and noise vanished at her touch.

There was another burst of something, as Raven flew around the corner. I… could feel the thoughts buzzing around behind her stoic façade, the ‘whys’ and ‘what was thats’ chasing each other in circles, until that too faded away. Until I only had my own thoughts for company.

M’gann sighed in relief, before putting a determined expression on her face. “Taylor… you”

“are a telepath,” I finished. It was obvious now. The whole mess in Bialya, the strange words that were so similar and yet so different to my shard, culminating in the headaches that let me pick up other people’s thoughts… That woman must have knocked something loose, or else finished something that my own power had started. And if my own conclusion wasn’t enough, I heard M’gann’s thoughts confirm it right before she’d stabilized me.

Then she said, “No!”

I looked up at her.

“Well…” she amended, “yes, you are, but, that wasn’t what I was going to say. Besides, we already knew you were a telepath.”

Robin, who had followed us into the hall said, “Really? When did we learn that one?”

M’gann blinked. “Back during Bialya. She was using telepathy the whole time.”

“Huh?” Wally said, zipping into the hallway, “wasn’t that just what’s-his-brain messing her up? Or, like, magic? Everything else you do is magic so…”

I sighed, pushing myself to my feet. “Not the time, KF,” I said. It was more effort than usual to make my voice sound playfully annoyed. Now was worrying about their reactions to this power, on top of everything else. And to think earlier today I was joking about Stranger powers… I gave my head a shake. “Save it for the sparring ring. I hear banter is obligatory.”

Wally opened his mouth, but M’gann cut him off. “That’s what I mean!” she said.

“Huzza—what now?” Never change, Kid Flash.

In lieu of an answer to that question, M’gann turned to Raven. “You notice it too right? She’s not matching up.”

“I’m not doing what?”

“Your thoughts and your actions don’t…mesh,” M’gann said. She frowned. “Ugh, no, that’s not it. English doesn’t really have the words, but it’s more like, you’re looking three directions at once.”

Raven shrugged. “I’m an empath. People suppress their emotions all the time.”

“Wait,” Robin said. “Three directions? If her thoughts and actions don’t line up, isn’t it two?”

M’gann shook her head. “It’s not… it’s that… I don’t know how to say it in this language.”

“Just say it in Martian, if it matter so much,” I said, resisting the urge to rub my forehead. 

“You’re doing it again!” she said. M’gann blinked owlishly at me. “I only see it because you’re so open right now, but… have you been doing that the entire time?”

A sinking suspicion took hold in my chest. “If you can’t tell me what you mean,” I started, “then I can’t really know for sure.”

M’gann gave me a frustrated frown.

“Hey,” Robin said. “Let’s all back up a bit. I for one, have no idea what’s going on. So if you could do a little explanation for those of us who aren’t telepathically gifted. Especially that three directions stuff.”

I spread my arms silently. After a moment M’gann sighed.

“It’s not two directions, because most people can actually think two sets of thoughts at once, as Martians define it, I guess.”

“That’s news to me,” Wally said, folding his arms behind his head. “If I could have two trains of thought going I wouldn’t miss so many lecture notes while daydreaming about you, sweetness.”

Miss Martian valiantly tried to ignore that. “One set of thoughts is movement,” she said. “Even though most people don’t realize it, on Mars we consider that the first ‘direction’ of thought, control of the body.” She fidgeted a little. “Of course, maybe that matters more since we’re all shapeshifters as well, but I think it’s true for humans as well.”

“I mean, we’re not plants or anything,” Wally said. “So I guess? Is walking and talking really so amazing though?”

Raven shrugged. “A fish discovers water last.”

“Are you calling me a fish?” 

Raven just rolled her eyes.

It was Robin that brought the discussion back around. “And the third direction?”

“Ah, Hello, M’gann? You forgot to tell them the important part,” she said, bopping her forehead with her hand. “Taylor’s actions don’t match up to her thoughts!”

“And we’re back to this again,” Raven murmured.

“It’s more like…” M’gann started, “your thoughts make it look like you should be reacting, or moving in this way or that way, but instead you do something different.”

I crinkled my brow. “Are you sure you’re reading me right?”

“You’re kinda broadcasting it actually, you know, new telepathic abilities waking up?”

I held back a grimace. “So what you’re saying is that my thoughts aren’t my own.”

Her mouth formed an “O” of surprise. “Uh, I didn’t really think about that at first. Of course! As a new telepath you’re going to need someone to help you build up your own mental barriers and all of that. I’ll have to call uncle J’onn.” She paused. “Ah, but that’s not the point either. I keep getting distracted… anyway! What I wanted to say was that you’re… disjointed, yes that’s the word. The disconnect between your thoughts and your actions is, like, another symptom of a conflicted psyche.”

I allowed myself a frown. “So what you’re really saying is that I’m, what? Messed up in the head?”

“No!” M’gann said. “Nothing like that! I just noticed that your thoughts were taking a darker turn after you came back. It’s possible that a recent trauma helped trigger your own telepathy, or something like that.”

“You’re saying I’m fucked in the head,” I repeated

“Hey, hey!” Wally said. “Don’t shoot the messenger. Besides, you have been kinda prickly lately.”

I shook my head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I told him. “In any case, thank you for the… advice M’gann. I think I’ll be able to handle this new talent on my own. Just give me a few days.”

She wilted slightly, “But my uncle—”

“I wouldn’t want to waste his time,” I said. “As a member of the League I’m sure he’s busy.”

Wally hmmm’ed, tapping his foot on the floor. “You know,” he said. “I heard that Black Canary is a licensed psychologist or something. If you wanted to try that out.”

“I don’t need a psychologist, KF.”

He held up his hands. “Not saying you do. But, it’s not like we have a low stress job here. Heck, Flash made sure I get visits with someone who’s in the know every couple of months, just to chat. Wouldn’t want to end up like all grumpy like the Batman.”

I gave him a hard look, and he wilted.

“Okay so it’s not every couple of months. But I did go to a shrink after I got hurt by Abra Kadabra, you know, the first time around.”

“What is this,” I said, “gang up on Taylor day? Look, I said I’m fine. Yes today was a bit rough, but I’ll deal with it. I don’t need a shrink, and I certainly don’t need an intervention, okay?”

Wally shrugged. “Just trying to be helpful.”

“Taylor, I really think…”

“Look, M’gann. I’m happy that you’re watching out for me, or whatever. But can you just give me some space? I’m not sure what it’s like on Mars, where everyone and their dog is telepathic, but here on Earth people usually like to have some alone time.”

She flinched backwards, and I immediately felt like a piece of shit. I gave a sigh. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that just—just can we talk about all of this tomorrow? It’s been a long day.”

There was a beat of silence. Then Raven said, “Why are we all in the hall again? I was promised Baked Alaska.”

“Sheesh, you and your ice cream,” Wally said, content to let the topic lie. I bit back a hiss as I cut off the psychic connection again. He didn’t even notice, but M’gann gave me a sympathetic look as I turned and fled the scene.

“I intend to collect on debts owed,” I heard Raven say as I rounded the corner.

“Dude you’re way to scary when you say that.”

I was unsurprised to find Robin waiting for me back at my room.

“Decided to skip out on the ice cream?” I asked.

“Kid has it handled,” he said, crossing his arms. “Look, I don’t want to be pushy.”

“Which, of course means that you are going to be very pushy.”

Robin laughed. “Hey, I didn’t coin the phrases. Anyway, I’m just here as a heads up, ‘specially after that whole scene in the kitchen.” At my raised eyebrow, he continued “Batman wants a full breakdown of your abilities and experiences, you know, since we all missed the superhuman strength thing this morning.”

I blinked. “It’s been a day.”

“World’s greatest detective,” Robin said with a shrug. “He let me know, probably so I could tell you. League is still deciding how to handle it.”

“And they couldn’t ‘handle it’ by leaving me the hell alone?” I said. I felt the urge to scream rising in my chest.

“Shit’s important,” was Robin’s only reply.

“This is the part where you tell me that it would be easier if I played along by going to Black Canary, isn’t it?”

“I’m not saying it would be easier,” Robin said with a grin. “I’m just wondering if you’d be happier telling your life story to a sympathetic audience, or a six foot two man in a bat costume. Raven chose Batman, for her debrief, but I think that says more about our huggable mystic than about Batman and Canary.”

“Well at least you’re being forward about it.”

He shrugged in response.

I leaned against the door frame, letting the coolness of the metal seep into my skin. “He probably has some arbitrary deadline too, doesn’t he?”

“Before classes start on Monday.” Robin said. A quick glance at the clock showed that it was Friday night. I occasionally lost track after Walking enough times. 

Really, this superhero thing was turning out to be more trouble than it was worth. Maybe I should have gone back to wandering aimlessly with Kent, or just wandering aimlessly. Heroing in Brockton Bay wouldn’t have been half as much hassle.

“I’ll deal with it,” I said. Robin beat a quick retreat after that. I needed to calm down, but this plane wasn’t giving me a chance.

An hour later, Raven drifted into my room unannounced. “So,” she said. “What’s this I hear about a college of magic?”

You know, I thought, a visit there didn’t sound like a half bad idea. At least the crazy vampire woman wouldn’t want to sit me down and talk about my feelings.