Non Serviam: Chapter 9 (Patreon)

Chapter 9: A Devil’s Bargain

Mittelt glared at me over the covered tray in her hands. “I can’t believe you talked me into this.”

I shrugged, placing my hand on the door. “A bit late to back out now.”

She huffed. Left unsaid was that if she wanted to kill me and run, the time to do that was back at the train station.

“No other complaints from our resident traitor? Good, let’s get this show on the road.”

“I’ll show you the god-damned road.”

I smiled. “Funny that the pain doesn’t hurt the fallen. It’s almost like daddy still loves you.”

A complicated expression flicked across Mittelt’s face, but I pushed the door open before she could reply. I breezed airily into Rias’s little clubhouse with my new fallen angel only a step behind.

“Taylor?” Rias glanced over from her spot on the couch. The rest of the peerage looked likewise confused. I rarely joined them in the little club room that Rias had coopted from her high school. In a second though, they’d probably figure out the identity of my new companion, and we couldn’t have that.

“Koneko,” I said. “I found you more cookies made by a starving Victorian child.”

After running into Mittelt at the train station, there was always a chance that things could turn to violence, but she was the only spy smart enough to run away. I’d used her wariness to my advantage, instead of getting into a fight I might not win.

Fortunately for me, my new pal Mitty had felt the same way.

Terse snipping I could handle, even if I’d been more worried about my new gift from Azazel. Mitty hadn’t recognized the slip prayerbook that may or may not have led me to her, but she had very much recognized a devil who had every reason to see her killed.

I’d seen her weighing her chances of killing me and slipping away, and had offered a more appealing alternative. If she came with me instead, I’d protect her from reprisal from my boss. Everything she was after, without having to fight for it. All she had to do was agree to my terms.

 A real devil’s bargain.

“And that’s how you ended up here?” Rias asked after I finished explaining.

“Less a few hours to bake some cookies,” I replied.

Mittelt lifted the cover with an elegant twist of her hand, revealing a sampling of her baked goods. Rias picked up yet another biblically accurate crucifixion cookie with two fingers. “This is…quite well decorated.”

“Oh, thank you, Lady Gremory,” Mittelt simpered. She clutched the tray cover to her chest in a way that emphasized exactly how small and dainty she was. “Your pawn told me it would help show my sincerity.”

“I am—” Rias paused, laughing as Koneko swiped the cookie from her hand. “Mm. I’m impressed she managed to get you here.”

“How’s this batch, Koneko?” I asked.

She held out a thumbs up. “Good cookie.”

“There you go,” I told Rias. “Now I can make sure she doesn’t wander off to more exorcist-sponsored bake sales.”

Koneko grumbled. “One time.”

“My, my.” Akeno pressed her fingers to her lips. “Talking with your mouth full, and in front of guests?”

Koneko swallowed around the pastry and looked away.

I looked towards Mittelt. “See what I mean? You’re perfectly safe.”

She sighed. “T’would appear so.”

Rias cleared her throat. “So, is this supposed to be a longer-term arrangement? I love the initiative, but keeping a fallen angel on my territory, especially a spy… Well, I don’t think Sona will agree to that.”

I nodded and told a bald-faced lie, “I’m recruiting her for my future peerage.”

Rias blinked. “My, you really are taking it seriously! Normally I’d say you should build up a bit more strength first, but I’ve seen how hard you practice.” She giggled. “I wouldn’t mind lending you a pawn piece, if Ms. Mittelt proves herself.”

I saw Mittelt’s shoulders tense. We’d established that she wasn’t interested in becoming a devil and a slave, a girl after my own heart.

“I’m not interested in a pawn,” I replied. “Right now, Mittelt and I are bound by a contract, and we’re both satisfied by the arrangement.”

“A contract?” Rias clapped her hands together. “And a long-term one as well? Oh, why didn’t you say so!” She hopped to her feet, sweeping me up in a hug.

“Uh.”

“My cute little pawn’s first contract!” She rubbed her cheek against me. “I couldn’t be more proud. No wonder you felt so solid today!”

“Solid?” I asked. “Also, please stop treating me like a teddy bear.”

“Aww, do I have to?” Still, Rias set me down. “You know that contracts are the fastest way for devils to build strength.” She waved a hand. “The act of making bargains grants us some power, and bigger and better deals are the best for that. You’ll probably notice a bump over the next few days as the new energy gets incorporated into your soul.”

Now it was my turn to blink. “In that case, I have another deal for you, Rias.”

She giggled. “You can’t just trade around bargains willy-nilly, silly. They have to mean something.”

“All my plans up in smoke.”

She laughed again.

“More seriously, I would like to broker a deal between you and my new peerage member for the release of some of her funds.”

“Oh?” Rias took a step back. “I can see why she might want to go through an intermediary.” For the first time, Rias’s power began to leak out of her, pressing down on the air. “After all, she did try to kill my cute little pawn that I was just pampering.”

Mittelt cowered under the glare, taking a half a step backwards even as Rias advanced.

I slipped between them. “You’re right, that’s exactly why I’m the one brokering this trade.”

“Mou, Taylor.” Rias pouted at me. “Let me scare her a little bit.”

“I thought that bargains had to mean something,” I replied. “If I just played the part, wouldn’t that render everything else meaningless?”

To the side, Kiba laughed. “She’s got you there, Prez.”

“Kibaaa,” Rias whined. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”

He smiled. “Maybe if you let us spar, Taylor would be too tired to annoy you, boss.”

“Not likely,” I heard Akeno mutter.

I crossed my arms. “In any case, Rias, I can’t allow you to menace my client, even if that puts me in opposition with you.”

“Hmph.” Rias frowned. “You know I could make you move.”

I shrugged. “By all means, trample me. I am powerless to resist. But I will not step aside.”

Rias narrowed her eyes at me in a flash of emerald. “Well, in that case, I feel like there’s only solution.” She waved a hand, a magic circle appearing in the air.

I tensed. Truly, if this was where I pushed too far… Well, I’d be surprised, but at least then I’d finally know.

Then a table with a set of chairs appears between us. They even matched the décor of the room.

“Let’s get down to business,” Rias said.

I paused, nonplused. “Um.”

“Oh please, did you think I was going to make it easy for you just because I love you?” Rias shook her head. “If you want to play at the big girls’ table, Taylor, you have to be ready to play.”

Yes, because that made more sense.

I took a deep breath before pulling out a chair for Mittelt and seated myself. Really, play the game? The last time I’d bargained like this, it hadn’t been a game.

And, for the record, I’d won.

I looked up, meeting Rias’s gaze dead on. “Let’s discuss terms.”

I saw something like respect in Rias’s eyes.

“You want me to use my considerable influence to free up monetary assets of a known and disavowed spy, after we’ve already been remunerated by the Grigori,” Rias said. “What could you offer that is possibly worth that much?”

“In return, my king,” I replied. “I will give you… a heartfelt smile.” Rias tilted off kilter in confusion. “And a hug with both arms.”

Then she slipped, head hitting the table.

“Taylor!” She jerked back upright, pretty face too durable to even turn red. “That’s not how you do these things?”

“Oh?” I leaned back. “My mistake, we can consider my hug off the table then.”

“W-wait a second on that.” Rias waved her hands. Over her shoulder, I saw Kiba and Koneko laughing, while Akeno just shook her head. “I might—sidebar, let’s call it a sidebar. B-but not just for one hug. Unlimited hugs! Unlimited hugs are a better starting point!”

“How did you know she was so desperate to cuddle with you?” Kiba called.

I raised an eyebrow. “I’ve seen how she behaves.” Rias Gremory was the most tactile person I’d yet met, which really emphasized the lengths she was going through to respect my boundaries. As a devil, she also saw nothing wrong with bargaining over those boundaries, but really, what was a few hugs between friends?

Especially when they were worth a cool billion dollars.

I turned to Mittelt. “How much do you think unfettered physical access to my person would be worth to you?”

She rolled her eyes, but she clearly wasn’t an idiot.

“For truly unlimited access, really the only comparable item would be unlimited access to my accounts.” What a smooth talker.

Mittelt had been a little leery of discussing exactly how much money she had, but as an immortal, I imagined compound interest from a few good investments in the last century would have set her up quite nicely. That getting her money back was her highest priority as an immortal, though, suggested that she’d probably done a lot more than buy the dip us mortals called the Great Depression.

“I’m not bargaining with the Grigori over just hugs.” Rias’s protests were ignored.

“I’ll start with unlimited hugs,” I told her. “For more material concerns, obviously as Mittelt’s future king,” not likely, “I’m entitled to a percentage of her gains. I doubt dividends are all that interesting to a Gremory, but Mittelt is quite an experienced broker, and offers her expertise to begin building your own portfolio.”

Rias took a second to recover from the relentless teasing. “We already have financial planners, you know.” She didn’t, I noticed, have complaints about the hugs.

“You do, or your family does?” I asked.

She waved it off. “I am my family.” I sighed. If the rest of the Gremory clan was anything like Rias, she probably wasn’t even wrong.

Time to bring out the big guns.

“My client also offers intelligence on what the fallen were actually doing in Kuoh, and who ordered them to do it.”

Rias’s eyes narrowed. “I thought they were disavowed by the Grigory.”

Mittelt snorted. “Yeah, said every deniable operative ever.”

Rias mulled over that for a second.

“Keep in mind,” I said, “we can also deal directly with your brother. I imagine that would be a better deal for me, honestly.”

She placed a hand on the table. “Actionable intelligence on your employer?”

“Oh believe me, it’s pretty actionable.” Mittelt grinned. “I’d bet you real money that even Azazel doesn’t know who was pulling Raynare’s strings.”

Rias nodded. She raised a finger. “The intelligence, without reservation, unlimited hugs.” I opened my mouth but she cut me off. “And one real, true, and heartfelt smile.”

I laughed. “You drive a hard bargain.”

“Flatterer.” She rolled her eyes. “As if you didn’t just wrap me around your finger.”

I held out my hand. “All of that for the return of Mittelt’s assets in full.”

“You’ve got a deal.” She shook. Then the table vanished and she pulled me into a hug.

I sighed, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and squeezing.

“Uh-uh! Two arms, missy!”

“That wasn’t what we agreed on, actually.” Kiba and Akeno laughed at my words, but I added the second arm anyway.

No one likes a sore winner.

“This is adorable and all,” Mittelt said. “But just to fulfill my end of the bargain, the one who gave Raynare orders to fight you all and kick off the Great War again was Azazel’s top lieutenant Kokabiel.”

Everyone turned to look at her, and the little fallen had the nerve to shrug. “Thought you ought to know.”

“Rias,” I said. “You might have to wait a bit for that smile.”