Rise of the Last Dragon Rider - Chapter 011 - Hard choices to make (Patreon)

Kaen swallowed as he lay there, unable even to move as he wanted to speak.  His throat was immensely dry and he felt the pain of that simple movement.

“I would make a promise and let you bind me, but we both know that would not work.  I can only tell you the truth.  That I wish I could promise you right now I would court you and marry you, but I cannot at this time.”

Ava started to speak, and he held up his trembling right hand to stop her.

“Wait, please,” Kaen asked as he struggled to speak.  Clearing his throat, he continued.

“Pammon is right, and he knows what I would say and what I would promise.  What took place last week proves how dangerous it is for anyone to be close to me right now.  I barely survived.  What might I have done in anger and pain if it was you who had been poisoned and died because of me?”

Her face contorted, and she grimaced.  He could hear her foot tapping rapidly on the floor. Her hands were wringing themselves behind her back.

“If that were to happen, I would try to make Pammon fly me to Luthaelia, and I would rush head-first into a battle against Stioks.  We both know I am not ready for that.”

Her lip quivered as a few tears started falling down her cheeks.

“You would deny us both what we feel for each other because of what might happen?” she asked, her voice gruff.  “I could die choking on food or to a hundred other things.  You expect me to accept some foolish notion that you must put duty before your love for me?!”

Closing his eyes, Kaen broke her gaze, unable to withstand the piercing effect of his heart.

“I do love you,” he whispered. “More than I have ever admitted to myself or you.  Those letters you wrote are still in my pack, and I have often worn them out reading them.  The touch of your lips against mine is something I can recall when I close my eyes and think about you.  Leaving you and everyone else was not easy, but I had to. I had to learn how to be what I am.”

Opening his eyes, he felt the wetness on his cheeks.  Even with a dry throat, his next words were steady and true.

“I would promise you that if you wait for me, once this threat is over, I will marry you without delay.  I will not ask you to wait, though, as I may not return from this threat, and it pains me more to know you might waste your life waiting for me.  Look at what you and your father have accomplished in the last two years! The progression of…”

She cut him off as she moved to the right side of the bed and grabbed his hand on top of the covers.

“I will wait,” she whispered.  “You do not have to promise me, but I will promise you I will wait.”

Kaen stared at her, watching her as she lifted his hand to her lips and kissed the back of his fingers.

“Why? Look at me now. You see what I will face!  Why would you wait for me?”

She took his hand and opened it, placing it on her chest where her lifestone was.

“Can you feel it?”

Flustered as he realized his hand was on his chest, Kaen realized where it was.

“Your lifestone?” he whispered.

Nodding, she bit her lip.

“The first time I met you, it acted in a way it had never done before.  It scared me, then.  Now, as I sit here with your hand over it, I feel it pulsing in my chest.  No one else has ever caused it to do this before.”

Her voice was trembling, and Kaen felt the way her hands quivered as they held his.

“I was never one to believe in soulmates, but here I found myself questioning that.  Does yours do the same thing when I am around?”

Smiling, Kaen saw her expression. Hope and fear were written all over her face.  She had bared her soul, and Pammon was a surge of emotions in the background.

Taking a slightly labored breath, he nodded and squeezed her hand.

“That night we first danced, my lifestone did something similar.  Every day, my thoughts drifted to you.  I will promise you that if you wait for this threat to pass, that if you will still have whatever I am when I get done, it will be yours.”

Pausing momentarily, he freed his hand from hers and touched his temple.

“Yours and Pammon.  I cannot promise he and I won’t share something you can never have.  Not because I don’t want to share it with you but because it’s different.  He is a part of me.  A part of my soul.  When he hurts, I hurt.  Just as last week, I can only imagine how he had been since I was poisoned.”

Laughing suddenly, Ava bobbed her head fervently.

“He never left the side of the building.  We had to bring food to him and,” she paused as the face she made caused Kaen to laugh, ignoring the pain that still lanced through his shoulder, “the smell of what he did in the courtyard.”

“Yes… that smell is something special.”

Taking her hand in his, they both sat there smiling in silence for a few.

“Will you forgive me for not taking you with me to Roccnari?  I doubt you would have enjoyed it as it was non-stop training.”

“Oh, I know a few things about that,” she replied as she rolled her eyes.  “Selmah has been teaching me a lot since that day.  She is not as strong as she once was, but that is not my place to speak about.”

Closing his eyes, Kaen let out a sigh.

“Do you mind just sitting here for a few?  I am worn out and want to sleep if I can, and I know it would come faster if you were here.”

She moved to the floor and laid her head on his arm as she leaned against the cot.

“Sleep Kaen.  I’ll be right here.”

Closing his eyes, he felt peace and relief.  Something he had not felt in a long time.

I’m sorry, Pammon.  I made a promise, but it will not be for a while before I can keep it to her.

I am aware of it, he replied with a distinct sense of acceptance.  I know you will yearn for her, and I have for all these years.  Tharnok shared with me a story of Elies and a woman he loved.  It pains me to know you will one day experience what he did.

Loss… He had mentioned it to me also, cautioning me about it, but also told me that living without love isn’t really living.  Just like I cannot imagine life without you.

Sleep, you are tired.  It has been a long week.  I will cut the strength as you sleep and see how you do.

Nodding to no one, Kaen drifted to sleep, praying that nightmares would not come again.

When he woke up the next morning, Kaen found a few notifications waiting for him.

[ Poison Resist Skill Acquired ]

[ Poison Resist Skill Increased x16 ]

He rotated his left shoulder a little as he opened his eyes, and other than a little soreness, it felt amazing.

There, in a soft chair on the other side of the room, was Ava, fast asleep.

He started to sit up in the cot, and the wooden frame creaked as he moved, causing her eyes to open.

“Kaen!  You shouldn’t be moving!” she exclaimed as she bolted out of the chair and approached him.

“I’m fine.  Really,” he answered as he waved her off with his hand.  “Look, my arm moves fine, and other than being sore, I can move it without any issues.”

She stood there with her eyebrow cocked and crossed her arms over her chest.

“You sure you are fine?  No lasting issues?”

As he started to rise up from the bed, he realized that besides not having a shirt on, he also had nothing on underneath.

“Uh…” he muttered, his face red as he grabbed the blanket over him and tucked it around his waist.  “It appears I am missing some clothing.”

Laughing, Ava’s face turned a shade of crimson as well, and she nodded while pointing to a cabinet on the side of the room.

“They put all your stuff in there.  I’ll go and let everyone know you are ok while you get a few things on.  Would you like some water to wash with our should I contact the guild nurse to help with that again?”

As hard as Kaen tried to resist the embarrassment he felt, knowing someone had been washing him for over a week suddenly registered in his mind.

“I should be good,” he groaned, his voice betraying his confidence.  “Some water and towels would be appreciated.”

She nodded and moved over to where he was, taking his head in her hand and kissing him on the forehead.

“Good because you and this room stink!” she teased.  “I’ll return in a while, but I expect you to be overwhelmed with visitors in the coming hours.”

As she began to walk away, Kaen reached out and grabbed her arm.

“Ava,” he said as she turned, looking at him as he smiled at her.  “I mean what I said.  I’ll keep fighting for everyone here so I can return to you.”

Swallowing, she nodded and sniffed.

“I’ll hold you to that, Kaen Marshell,” she squeaked as she patted his hand.

“Now relax there as I get some water sent in.  No point changing and then having to undress again just to clean up.”

Nodding, he let her go and watched as she left.

“Gosh, she makes my brain mush…” he muttered aloud.

Pammon, what are you doing?

Besides wondering why your heart flutters like a bird in the forest, I am relaxing in this courtyard.  You feel better this morning, I can tell.

I am, and I owe all of it to you.  Thank you.

Pammon was overwhelmed by the flood of gratitude and love that came through their bond from Kaen.

I… I have never felt such a strong reaction from you before.  You owe me nothing.  I know you would do the same for me.

A weird emotion hit Kaen, and it seemed different yet familiar.

What are you trying to convey?  I can feel you, but it’s a different thing than usual.

It is what I feel from you.  Dragons don’t think like you do.  Love is a weird concept for us.  Not that we do not love our child or our mate, but it is a different kind of emotion for us.  What we have goes beyond that simple word.  I would kill for you, and I would die for you.  Both without hesitation if it meant you would live.  I would scorch kingdoms to bring about revenge.

Pammon paused, and Kaen felt the words he was about to say.

Tharnok…

Havannath has yet to learn what is coming for him if Elies cannot convince him to let it go.  Stioks will be the least of their worries.  He will ravage the elven kingdom like they have not seen in millenniums.

And if that happened, what are we supposed to do?

Kaen knew the answer even before he asked it.  He didn’t like it at all.

We would have to stop him.  Just like someone would have to stop me if I was overcome with that same rage.

Lost in his thoughts and the conversation, Kaen heard the knock on the door.

“Come in.”

An older man and woman came in, carrying a large copper tub.  Behind them were others, all with pitchers of steaming water.

“Guild Master Herb said you might need a bath before you would feel like meeting with others,” the older woman stated as they set the tub down.

“That would be appreciated!” Kaen exclaimed.  “Tell him thank you!  If that is possible, I find myself wanting food.”

The older man chuckled and nodded.

“We have some food prepared, but bathe first.  Welcome back to the land of the living, Dragon Rider Kaen.”

They moved back, letting the servants come in, pouring buckets of warm water into the tub, and letting the steam rise up into the room.

“When you are ready, we will be outside the hall to take you to those waiting to see you.”

Laughing, Kaen bobbed his head.

“It may be a few,” he snorted as his eyes ate in the steam rising from the water.

“Take your time,” the woman replied.

Once the door shut, Kaen lept from the bed and moved quickly to the tub.  Putting a hand in the water, he let out a slight moan.

“I need to get me one of these,” he muttered as he swung a leg over the edge and climbed in.