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Book 1 Thoughts (Patreon)

Published:
2023-10-24 02:21:53
Imported:
2023-12

Content

Again thank you to each of you who support me.

I would love to hear your feedback on book 1.  You can be brutally honest.

In 2 weeks I get the official edit suggestions (plus all the grammar) back.  I have made some changes on the RR side to earlier chapters.

If you are willing what 'change' or fix might make the story better (obviously a full re-edit isn't possible for some major things) but some stuff is.

Ty again!  7 days till Book 2!


Comments

Mario Schade

Hey, let me get you started here. I must say that I like the whole story very much. As far as I like it, I think the actions and characters are believable. There has to be a little bit of mystery. Otherwise, you would write 1 infodumping chapter and everything is cleared up. :D The development with the life stone is well built in. The pure adventurer families / clans are somehow stronger -> I have now not in memory. Was that already addressed before? Depending on how you expand the world, you scatter possibly still a few great clan names or so for later use. Without immediately pointing the finger at the solution for Kaen (us readers). But in the end, I think that worked quite well. I would have liked to read a little bit around the kingdom and the events. Or generally the structure of the world and kingdoms (are all kingdoms or are there also other forms of rule?). But maybe that is also something for book 2, after it was here first about Kaen and Pammon. For the book form, I would probably build some chapters less on cliffhangers. Or will the chapter length remain the same? Then that would fit as well. Otherwise just thematically the transitions, so that not every4,5 chapters a larger cliffhanger appears. Even if, as mentioned before, they were all very digestible. At least I remember nothing annoying or bad. I can't really think of anything negative right now. Grammar is perfectly fine for me as a non-native speaker and easy to understand. The vocabulary seems good. I don't know if you want to work with insertions in the future. Otherwise, feel free to bring it in between "arcs" as another POV. I could think of a chapter on Ava, Bren, the city, or King Aldric right now. POV we had otherwise mostly only Kaen/Pammon and Hess. A little bit of Fiola etc. but due to the lenght here at Patreon it seems to me altogether less. But that's more of a personal preference for world and character building. All in all, it's fun and I'm happy to stick around for book 2.

AuthorShawnWilson
>>120556234

Totally appreciate all this! On phone so ill come back on pc later and expound more. Grateful for you taking the time! Ill hit some of what you mentioned when I have my computer and run some thoughts!