My Sons and I Got Isekai’d To The Losing Goblin Side: Chapter 035: Remembering why we fight (Patreon)

The three days we took to find a farm were not the best. A rain storm had shown up, and it was a wet and cold day as we ran along the edge of the woods we were in. I was amazed at how big the forest was. I could not imagine ever spending days upon days jogging through one in our own world. Mainly because I hated jogging. Like why do people jog for hours and hours?

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The boys had talked me into doing a marathon once. Training for months. Running every day. Time on a treadmill. Time on a track. More time outside. My legs and shins were always sore, and I felt like my lungs always wanted to burst. The day of the marathon had been a hard day.

I remembered why I had run that marathon. My wife, Laura, had wanted to run one before cancer had made that dream possible. It was one of the things that let us know she had it. As she struggled with running and recovery, the doctor found it.

That day as I felt like I was going to die, I ran for over four hours and thirty minutes. Each step was brutal and painful but the boys took turns running with me. Our friends supported us. When I finished, I had a huge crowd of friends who all cheered for the three of us. That medal still hung on the fireplace next to her picture. Or did it?

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As I ran mindlessly behind Turk and Dirk I wondered what had happened to our house. It had been months now we had been here. All of our stuff would be boxed up and gone. Watching my boys run ahead of me seemed hard at that moment. Green, muscle-bound, smelly goblins were now all that I had left of my family.

"You ok, Zolb?" Vreek asked

I glanced over and realized Vreek was next to me.

"Yeah, sorry I am fine. I was just lost in my thoughts."

Vreek nodded.

"Your eyes were glazed over for a bit. I wondered a few times if you were going to run into a tree, but you always moved out of the way in time," Vreek replied with a chuckle.

I nodded and smiled. Somehow sharing my thoughts about our old world with Vreek seemed pointless. He couldn't understand. Only someone from our world could.

Another day passed, and Turk finally found a farm. We scouted it, and it appeared there was only one family out here plus a few slaves. We scouted for about four miles and found they were well off the beaten path.

“Any idea why a family might be this far from a town?” I asked Vreek.

Vreek sighed.

“I am assuming they like pain so they choose to be as far away from safety as possible. I have no clue!” he declared. “Maybe they are outcasts. Maybe they hate other elves. Maybe they are cannibals. How would I know?”

“Someone has their elf panties in a twist,” Dirk said with a smirk.

Vreek grumbled and said nothing else.

“Ok, well boys it is your call. What do you want to do?”

Turk and Dirk got together and discussed things while I walked over to Vreek.

“You ok?” I asked. “Did I upset you or something?”

Vreek shook his head and spat on the ground.

“You do not need to apologize. I am tired, and we have been running for a long time. Your questions always frustrate me. How should I know why a group of elves is living out here?"

I nodded. Better to say nothing and just let it go.

"Ok well we have a few thoughts," Dirk declared as he joined Vreek and me. "Odds are these people will have some skill in defense. There must be animals out here that would attack a farm, so they must know how to fight them off. I'll scout tonight and see what I can find. If everything looks clear, we will have to decide if we want to kill them or chain them up in their slave quarters."

"I would prefer not to kill them, but I am ok either way," Turk stated as he peered out at the farm. "Killing them makes us silent that we were here until someone comes out. Letting them lives puts us at risk for them going and telling someone we were here. That would possibly inform the dwarves we are coming towards their area."

"Do you think we have a choice?" Vreek asked. "Would you risk our entire reason for being here over a few lives? Is what we are fighting for worth that?"

Turk sighed but did not turn around.

"If it was the other way around, and it was goblins out there, and we were elves, what would you want us to do?"

"It isn't goblins over there," Vreek argued. "I would give anything for goblins to live here, feeling safe and having a farm. That includes killing a group of elves, humans, or dwarves. Do you not understand the purpose in all this?"

Turk turned, and I could see the anger in his eyes.

"Why do you think I am here doing this?!" Turk shouted. "I would have never considered doing what I did to that man in the first village if I thought there was any other way. I would have not killed all the humans and elves we have so far if I felt there was another option!"

Turk waved his arms around and thumped his chest with his fist.

"Every day, I feel this rage inside me. It wants me to kill and eat people. Every day I fight not to let it take over. I do not want to lose who I was before I came here and why I am doing this."

Turk pointed at Dirk and me.

"I am doing all this for those two first. The goblin and orc race is second!" Turk's eyes were wild, and I could see Vreek had stepped back. "We promised to help the goblin and orc race find a place to call their own. We promised to give everything we have to make that happen. I mean, good lord, do you want us to swear on a dragon's penis that we will do more than what we have already promised?!"

Vreek stood there stunned. I saw him lower his eyes for a moment, and I realized he appeared to look sorry.

"I.. I.." Vreek struggled for a moment. Finally, he lifted his head and spoke. "I will not question your loyalty again. I have no right to challenge the champions our god chose."

"Mother elfin, frickin human pecker! Gosh damn dwarf arse and hairy giant shite!" Turk cursed as he turned around and stared at the house across the fields.

"Just apologize and stop being a wuss! Apologizing isn't a sign of weakness, you fool. It just means you realized you screwed up! That is what Mom...." Turk suddenly stopped, and I saw his shoulders shaking.

I walked over and put a hand on his back, and he shrugged it off.

I motioned to Dirk, and he joined me, and we both came up on either side of him and threw and arm around him. Looking around, I saw the tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Dad," he whispered. "I'm trying to be strong, but it isn't easy. I feel when I try to do what we must I lose the part of me she created. I feel like.. like she would be disappointed in me."

"I understand, son. I was thinking about her earlier. I was thinking about that marathon you all made me run in her honor."

Dirk chuckled, and I saw Turk smile as they both looked at me.

"You looked like you were going to die while you ran that," Dirk teased.

"I felt like I was going to," I teased back. I took a deep breath and let it out. "I didn't stop thought. I knew what it meant to both of you and also what it meant to me. I think this reminds me of that. This race sucks. It sucks hard. It sucks, big dragon peckers!"

Both boys laughed and nodded.

"Mom didn't raise you to be quitters, and she sure as heck would not have wanted me to quit either. She would have been ten times worse in this world had it been the two of you and her. She would have torched kingdoms and not given it a second thought." I sighed for a moment as I thought about Laura and her smile. "I also know what you mean about the struggle to lose ones self. I feel it. Every heart I eat, I feel the goblin side of me getting stronger. The desires and temptations."

I shifted myself to stand between both boys and put my arm around Dirk as well. Touching my head to their head, I smiled before leaning back.

"What keeps me who I am in those moments when I can barely hold on is you two. When I find myself lost in some blood lust or staring at a woman how I would be ashamed to do in front of your mother, I remember you two. I remember why I fight."

"I love you two."

"Love you, Dad," Dirk replied first.

"Love you more," Turk added as their joke always went.

We embraced and hugged, and as I looked past the two of them, I saw Vreek standing there with the biggest look of confusion and desire on his face. I realized he had never known love. Love that could transcend a world and even death. All he had ever known was hate.

Letting go of both boys, I turned them around and looked Vreek in the eyes.

"What you see right here, Vreek, is what we are fighting for. Something that goblins and orcs could one day have. The love of a family.

Tears formed and fell down Vreek's filthy green cheeks, and he fell to the ground on his knees. The warrior who was always strong and brave broke into the one thing he could not overcome. The desire to be loved.

I walked over and put my hand out, and waited for him to take it. A few moments passed as he gathered himself, and then he took my outstretched hand and stood up.

"I would give anything for what I just saw and felt," Vreek said with a tone in his voice I had never heard before. "I would fight anyone or anything, and I will never question your commitment again." Vreek looked past me at Turk and smiled. "I'm sorry for questioning your commitment."

Turk nodded.

"Now, let's find a way to capture these people and not kill them if we don't have to," Vreek declared with a smile on his face."

"I'm on it!" exclaimed Dirk as he bent down and started into the field of grain that was almost ready to harvest. "You three wait here. I'll be back when its dark."