Day One Of Being A Cat Mum. (Patreon)

In this story you will see why my mum is an absolute legend, and my cat is absolute chaos.

So as you all know, me and Ande have three cats, he had two gorgeous black beauties called Hercules & Indie, and I had my lil handsome man Drogo. When we started dating, all the cats became besties in our new household and taught each other their mischievous traits so they could chaos among the world together, this includes the great fridge heist, the cupboard break in, and their favourite game - who’s the biggest trash panda? We will get into those one day, but today’s “blog” is all about the day I brought Drogo home.

It’s 2015, I’m living in a flat that I always felt a little lonely in, and I couldn’t wait to pick up Drogo! I had already been to pets at home and bought all the essentials and I was so excited to finally have my own pet. I’d always grown up with animals, however never a cat, but because I lived in a flat I thought that would be the best option. I found Drogo online and instantly fell in love with his little face. So at 10 weeks I went with my mum to pick up the little bundle of fluff. I was meant to be in the studio that day, so we left quite early and the roads were dead, the plan was to pick up Drogo, drop me off at the studio, and then my mum would stay with Drogo until I got back.

As soon as we pulled up to the house, it all looked a little dodgy, and when we went inside, it definitely smelt a little dodgy. The woman bought Drogo out and he looked NOTHING like his picture. The pictures she sent, he had been pudgy and fluffy as all kittens should be, but when I held him he was so tiny and didn’t look in the best shape. The woman said his siblings had bullied him out of his food and he hadn’t been eating as much, but said he looked the most like his mum and would be a beautiful cat, she then attempted to convince me to let her keep him another 2-3 weeks and the whole thing just seemed odd. I had already paid for him and through a doorway I could see lots of different cages, (clearly a breeder,) I don’t know if she genuinely wanted to keep him so he could put on more weight, wanted to breed him, or swindle me out of my money, needless to say I was quick to get him out of there.

For the first 10 minutes of the car ride, he was super quiet and sat in his cage snuggled up in the blankets I had got for him, then after that, he was a tiny nightmare, screaming, trying to claw his way out, so I thought oh maybe he doesn’t like the carrier, so we pulled over and took the lid off to check he was okay. He instantly climbed his way up my shoulder with his needle-like claws, and then gorilla-glue-gripped himself to me as I tried to pry him off to put him back in his carrier. Eventually we got him back in, and I turned to my mum and said “what if I’m not a cat person?” knowing it was much too late to be thinking about this. As she dropped me off at the studio she reassured me and said she would see me later, and I went into the studio and recorded our EP - When You Figure Out You’re Wrong Get Back To Me.

Let’s fast forward a few hours, I stroll in to see my mother sitting on my sofa looking a little flustered, and Drogo curled up asleep on her lap. I walk in a bit further and see an array of tools spread across the floor. I gave a questioning look to my mum and she smiled, told me to sit down, and gave me the lowdown on what the heck has happened…

…So here's the sitch. My mum had brought Drogo into my flat, put his carrier down and opened the little door, Drogo instantly ran to my bathroom and disappeared. In a panic my mum started looking everywhere in the bathroom to where he might have gone, and noticed a small hole behind my toilet going into the wall. Yes. Within 10 seconds, Drogo had escaped to the unknown. Food wasn’t working, toys weren’t working, and she started hearing tiny little meows coming from the bathtub. She found my very limited tool kit that my dad had sent me off with when I left home in case something went wrong, (even though he absolutely knew if something did go wrong I’d be calling him,) and she began taking my bath apart. After getting the screws out, she realised the screws were doing absolutely nothing the whole time and that the landlord had actually superglued the whole side of my bath panel on. So instead, she began ripping out the whole wooden casing down the side of the bath, (getting use out of those tools now aren’t we?) She expected to then find a little kitten sitting waiting to be saved, but instead found nothing as at this point, Drogo had discovered he could get under the floorboards. At this point, my mum decided it was a step too far to start ripping up the floorboards and so started cooing and waving treats around, and after seeing a few flashes of fluff, Drogo eventually made his way towards her and allowed my mother to put him back in his carrier, while she kitten-proofed my entire flat. (This consisted of stuffing every single towel I owned into every gap imaginable no matter how small.)

Now first of all, I’d like to applaud my mother for saving Drogo! Bravo, great job, but secondly, I’d like to applaud her for putting a panel back on my bathtub and painting it the exact same shade of grey, which clearly looked so professional that I got my whole security deposit back when I moved out. **THE CROWD GOES WILD** For real though I am eternally grateful for everything you do, you are the best!

So since that day, Drogo has never stepped foot in a bathroom since and I’m pretty sure he must have PTSD from his first day drama, because I’m talking not even a paw, has been anywhere near a bathroom. That cat follows me EVERYWHERE and is the snuggliest mama’s boy to ever grace this planet, but he always falls short at the bathroom door, stopping at a safe distance so the evil bathroom can’t capture him again.

The picture on this post was taken the day after the bathroom incident, and it was actually the first thing I saw when I woke up, this little bundle of fluff had spent the whole night on top of me rather than sleep in the many beds I had got for him. From that moment I truly fell in love with this little bundle of chaos, I would do anything for those little eyes🩵🩵 Drogo still spends all of his time either causing chaos or demanding we give him love as he head boops us in to oblivion, honestly I don’t know what I’d do without him!

Hope you enjoyed todays “blog” post!

Till next time mother fluffers!

🐱