Rebuilding Megan: The Blog of Megan Waters (Patreon)

January 31st 2020

my whole project last year was to live life as a fat person, as someone that didn't take care of their body. I used to be a personal trainer so I knew getting back in shape was going to be hard, but I didn't think it was going to be this hard!

Every step I took on my "light" jogs make my disgusting flab jiggle and wobble and it grosses me out just feeling it move the way it does. Flab, disgusting disgusting flab. There's no other word for it! Fat is disgusting. Its useless yellow excess that hangs from your body like jelly and I have a shit ton on my ass, my thighs, my arms, and my belly. My thighs and ass clap together, my "wings" (UGH) sway through my jogging.

I can't run a mile so 'm starting around my neighborhood. I'm also looking for a new gym, I can't go back to my old one, I'm too ashamed.

My diet sucks. My year as an obese woman has warped my appetite and my relationship with food. I'm constantly craving the bad stuff and after I exercise I find myself going for the ice cream right after. It's like I can't help myself! And ice cream gives me bad gas so then I can't do anything else in public because then I'd be farting up a storm, (Much like at Christmas Dinner, which we will NOT get into)

Sit ups hurt. Squats hurt. I put on a shit ton of weight during my project and all that weight comes down on my knees. I won't be able to properly exercise until I'm down pass 300. I already gained weight, 329. *sarcasm* Yaaay!*Sarcasm*

That project last year, I keep thinking how foolish I was, to want to help fat people by becoming one of them. A fat out of shape smelly loser. I haven't been laid in over a year. I'm really thirsty for some attention but I'm not about to lower myself to some chubby chaser and be his fetish.

"oooh your fat! I love your fat!"

Ugh!

Disgusting! Fat is not sexy!

If I'm bitching too much, tough shit this is my blog.

Also, on an unrelated note all this talk about some China Virus thing is making me worried. I hope it doesn't come here.

#fatgirlonadiet #2020myyear