Commissioner Reward - Sweet Salon Job (Patreon)

It's time for another installment in the ever growing sexual chronicles of Sarah Sweet! I'm sure most if not all of you are familiar with this character by now but even if you I'll say she's the creation of the artist TheDirtyMonkey. This idea wasn't suggested by him directly and was instead something thought up by a third party. Enjoy!

“Go get em sweetheart!” 

“Thanks dad!”

Sarah climbed out of her father's car and smiled at him. He waved back at her and drove off to run a few errands. She looked down at the resume in her hands and then up at the place she was applying. It felt kind of strange to just walk into a building, hand them a piece of paper, and hope they hired her as a result. Although not the most experienced worker in the world every job Sarah had up until that point had come from connections through friends or family. So when the bell above the front door loudly announced her arrival and several of the stylists in Larissa's Salon looked up from their customers she felt unaccountably nervous. But her father insisted she get a proper, reliable job instead of constantly working under the table gigs and when her mother suggested working at a local salon, something Sarah had thought about several times in the past, she had little reason to argue. Sarah definitely needed some extra spending money now that Stacy, Gwen, and Aurora were all gainfully employed. Mooching off her friends wasn't something she liked to do yet it'd become an increasingly common trend in the last few weeks. Even if they didn't view it that way she did and that thought was enough to get her to the front desk where a bored looking shop girl greeted her.

“How can I help you?” She asked without looking up from her phone.

“Uhm . . . I'd like to apply for a job.” Sarah said. She awkwardly started to hand her resume to the girl but quickly pulled back when the woman looked up at her.

“I'll get the owner.”

“Oh, t-thank you!”

Immediately emboldened by how well things were going Sarah went to sit down in the waiting area only to spring back up as the girl shouted, “Larissa! Someone's applying for a job!”

A tall, rather beautiful woman emerged from the back room and said, “Come on back dear!”

“A-all right . . .” Sarah was immediately thrown off by this turn of events and it was with a nervous smile that she hurried through the salon and into the office, “T-thank you so much for seeing me?”

“I wasn't doing anything else.” Larissa quipped as she sat down at her desk, “Is that your resume?”

“Yes it is. Here you go!”

She took it and scanned the paper for all of ten seconds before setting it down and saying, “Everything looks good! You're hired!”

“Excuse me?” Sarah stared in open mouthed shock, utterly blown away by what had just happened, “I'm . . . I'm hired?”

“Mmhmmm! Can you start today?”

“Yeah . . .”

“Wonderful! Your mother already gave me all your information so your pretty much good to go. I just have to show you how to clock in on our system and we can—”

“Hang on, my mother gave you my information?”

“Did she not mention that to you?”

“No . . .”

Larissa grinned and leaned back in her chair, “Your mother and I go way back. And she's a pretty regular customer here so when she asked if I could find you a job I was happy to help.”

“I . . . I . . . okay then.” Still a little dazed by the unexpected turn of events Sarah looked at her new boss in stunned silence for a moment, “Is your middle name Elizabeth?”

“It is, but my friends call me Liz.”

All of a sudden everything clicked into place. Despite having never met her mother's friend 'Liz' Sarah had heard quite a lot about her over the years, “My mom talks about you a lot.”

“I should hope so! We've known each other since high school!” She laughed.

“How come I've never met you before?” 

“Well . . .” Larissa chuckled and bit her lower lip, “Let's just say your mother and I don't exactly spend our time in ways appropriate for kids.”

“Uhm . . . okay then.”

With another chuckle Larissa stood and motioned for Sarah to do the same. When she did the two of them stepped out of the office and back onto the main floor. Although she was still a bit nervous looking out across the spacious salon soother her nerves quite a bit. She was already looking forward to all the cool stuff she'd get to do. Pretty much since she was a little she'd wanted to try her hand at hairdressing and it looked like that silly little fantasy was finally becoming a reality. As she moved towards one of the stylists to watch what she was doing and maybe ask for a few pointers Larissa was grabbing a broom and dust pan from a nearby closet. When she tapped her new employee on the shoulder and handed them to her the look of confusion on Sarah's face was downright comical. Staring down at the implements in her hand as though she'd just been handed a trout and some pruning shears her expression went from bewilderment to realization over the course of a few seconds.

“I don't get to cut hair?” She asked.

“Honey you have to go to school to do that.” Larissa chortled, “Cosmetology school.” She quickly added when Sarah opened her mouth.

“Oh . . .”

“Don't worry, this job is a breeze. Just sweep up the hair when we have customers and do a few other, small jobs when they aren't and your time is your own.”

“All right.” Despite her disappointment Sarah couldn't pretend like she had any right to complain. It did sound really easy and maybe down the road she'd get a chance to try her hand at something more complicated, “Should I start now or do I need to clock in first?”

“Well since we've got customers you might as well get a jump on it.” Larissa decided, “I'll clock you in today and we'll sort it out when there's a lull.”

What followed was perhaps the most mundane yet enjoyable day of work in Sarah's life. Customers trickled into the store in waves and whenever they were present she dutifully swept up hair, emptied trash cans, and retrieved various small items from the back for her coworkers. When there weren't any clients she chatted with Larissa and the stylists, none of whom seemed at all bothered by her endless stream of questions. In fact all but one seemed genuinely happy to explain how the job worked, what they were doing, or just share interesting anecdotes. Maybe an hour after dropping her off Henry returned expecting to take Sarah home and maybe give her a little speech he'd prepared about the value of perseverance and not losing hope. Instead he was just as surprised as she was to find his daughter employed and already hard at work. Even after his wife's involvement was made clear he remained proud of her. After a brief exchange he left with the promise that he'd be back to pick her up when the store closed. She spent the rest of the day doing the same simple, easy tasks over and over while gradually learning bits and pieces about what it meant to be a stylist. Around eight the salon was closed and around nine everyone started to leave. Larissa showed her how to clock out and told her she had a shift the same time tomorrow. True to his word Sarah's father was waiting outside for her and went home feeling pretty happy with what she'd accomplished. Meager and uneventful as it was.

That satisfaction would fade into something close to a bored contentment after a week. Despite only being employed part time for about twenty hours or so it swiftly became apparent that her job wasn't one that would have much excitement. Or even much in the way of noteworthy experiences. At best she got to overhear a weird conversation or witness a particularly impressive bit of work by one of the stylists. All other times she was a glorified janitor and errand girl. That second one became more and more true as they started sending her down the way for coffee. Every time her parents or friends asked her how work was the best she could offer was a noncommittal shrug or the occasional brief story relayed to the best of her memory. This downturn continued into the second week as resignation set in and she really started to understand how boring everything would be from that point onward. There was a brief flash of excitement when two of Larissa's more 'lively' customers got into a fight and the police were called. That evening she had more than enough to regale Stacy, Aurora, and Gwen as they four of them got ice cream. But it didn't last, though she couldn't exactly be disappointed there weren't more fights, and soon everything settled back into monotony. Before she knew it a full month had passed seemingly in the blink of an eye. Sarah was up to twenty five hours a week and she'd never had more spending money but every day she worked was turning into the kind of dull routine that her want to tear her hair out. It was made even worse by how nice everyone was and how unexpectedly decent minimum wage could be when she didn't have any bills or obligations. Her schedule was even altered to fit around her college courses. Which all added up to a scenario where she wanted to quit but couldn't possibly justify it.

About six weeks into her job and she was experienced enough to close the store down. According to Larissa at least. Which sounded important but really just amounted to everyone else leaving after the money was counted and deposited while she cleaned the store. More often than not those were the most boring parts of the job by far since she didn't even have the distraction of other stylists to keep her mind occupied. Though it did let her work a bit faster and get everything done without any distractions so it probably wasn't all bad. But the really notable side effect of her new responsibilities wasn't felt until a few days after they'd been assigned. Close to half an hour after they'd officially closed and only a few minutes before she was finished there was a sudden, frightening bang from the entrance. Nearly jumping out of her skin Sarah dropped the trash bag she was carrying and looked in the direction of the sound. Standing in front of the locked door peering inside was a tall, rather burly looking man. He was dressed like a stereotypical surfer complete with shoulder length blonde hair and a surprisingly dark tan.

As soon as he noticed her looking at him he shouted through the glass, “Are you guys open?” Sarah shook her head and he continued to speak anyways, “I just need a quick haircut!”

“We're closed!”

“It'll only take like five minutes! I'll tip really well!” Sliding a hand into the pocket of his shorts the man produced a large wad of bills. So large in fact that even if they were ones he was easily holding thirty or forty dollars. If they were anything larger he had quite a sum, “C'mon! I got a job interview tomorrow!”

While she couldn't imagine what he needed a job for when he was clearly loaded Sarah didn't really think to hard about that. She was too busy contemplating his offer both for the opportunity to cut some hair herself and for the chance to make a good bit of cash under the table. After a couple moments of deliberation she eventually settled on the ever popular mantra 'how hard could it be'. Guys were notoriously easy customers according to the stylists she worked with and if the fellow at the door was any indication that trend would continue. With a shrug and a grin she grabbed the keys and went to unlock the door. Her first customer stepped inside with a relieved look, thanking her profusely and promising she wouldn't regret it. He sat down in one of the chairs and Sarah went about collecting the sheet and everything else she'd need to give him a cut. As confident as she was there was still a fair amount of nervousness in her movements, though it fortunately went unnoticed by her client.

“Seriously, thank you for doing this!” He said again, “My name's Derek.”

“It's nice to meet you Derek! I'm Sarah!” She said as she fastened the sheet around his broad neck, “So you're just looking for like . . . a business cut right?”

“Yeah totally. Something professional.”

“All right, I can totally do that.”

“Awesome.”

She smiled at him in the mirror and grabbed an electric hair clipper. Given how long and thick his hair was it only made sense to start by shaving the bulk of it off and then trimming the rest into something a little less laid back. Attaching the largest set of plastic tines on the end she squared her shoulders and leaned over him. Her large, soft breasts inadvertently pressed against the back of his head in the process and in his distraction Derek failed to notice how tenuously she'd secured the attachment. Sarah pressed the the edge against the middle of his hairline and started to pull it back towards herself. But less than a second after she began the tines snapped clean off. They fell away and her hand suddenly lurched forward as the amount of necessary force abruptly changed. In slow motion she watched the clipper buzz through his hair like a lawnmower through grass. Her bright blue eyes widened in horror and she yanked her hand away from his head as fast as she could but the damage was already done. 

Derek stared into mirror with his mouth hanging open and an expression pure disbelief on his face while she profusely apologized, “Oh my God I'm so sorry! The clippers must not have been attached properly—I'm so sorry!”

“What the fuck?!” He finally exclaimed, “I didn't want you to shave me bald!”

“I'm so sorry!”

“I'm gonna look like a fucking Neo Nazi now!”

“I'm so sorry! Please don't tell my boss!”

Rising out of the chair and turning towards her looking rather imposing despite how silly his hair appeared with a big line shaved down the middle Derek ripped off the sheet around his neck and said, “You better believe I'm telling your boss about this! You can't even give me a simple haircut! I mean what the fuck?!”

“Oh my God please don't do that!” Sarah stepped closer to him, her face wracked with fear and her hands nervously wringing in front of the pit that used to be her stomach, “Please I'll do anything! I'll cut your hair for free! You can have any of the styling products you want! Please don't tell my boss! Please! I really need to keep this job!”

He glared down at her for a second, fully prepared to ignore her pleas and make sure her ass wound up fired. But then he started to notice some of Sarah's more visually arresting qualities. Like her full, plump lips and glossy brown hair tied back in a loose ponytail. Or how some of it was left free to hang around her face and frame her softly angular features. The way her thick, square glasses only enhanced her nerdy charm. But as cute as her face might have been the rest of her body was what really drew his attention. Having already noticed her massive breasts barely contained within a tight blue shirt it was similarly impossibly to notice her similarly wide hips, plump ass, and creamy white thighs beneath the pink skirt hanging around her waist. In his haste to get a haircut he hadn't really noticed how buxom and shapely she was. That momentary error in priorities was rapidly being readjusted as he looked her up and down with an increasingly lustful eye. Her exceedingly curvaceous body had all the best qualities of a woman twice her age with all the best elements of a girl still in the flower of her youth and the way she begged made much of it jiggle and bounce in a fantastically pleasing way. Her ample, heaving tits in particular looked about ready to burst from her top. He only caught the barest glimpses of the kind of wide, juicy ass most men drooled over as her skirt fluttered and shifted but that was enough to make his mind up long before his gaze drifted past her smooth, hairless legs to see the twin planes of soft flesh that reached all the way down to a pair of sneakers.

“Yeah?” He finally said in a much less harsh tone, “How badly do you wanna keep your job?”

“I'll do anything!” She said, completely missing the lascivious glint in his eyes, “Please I'll do anything!”

“Well in that case . . .” He stepped even closed and smiled at her, his hand brushing against her cheek in a way that was impossible to misconstrue. Or at least it should have been.

“Oh!” Blushing a little Sarah looked away from him for a moment before slowly looking back with an accidentally adorable and nervous smile, “Okay . . .”

Still wringing her hands and feeling rather nervous about the whole thing she rose to the tips of her toes and planted a soft, tentative kiss on his lips. In her mind he was being terribly romantic. Like something out of a movie. In his all he cared about was getting his dick wet. These two conflicting views clashed rather harshly when she started to pull back. The moment he realized she hadn't gotten the message Derek slid a hard around the back of her head. Sarah gasped as she felt his fingers tangle themselves in her hair. She was pulled back into his lips even more forcefully and a soft moan quickly followed. His other hand snaked around her waist to both grab a handful of her juicy ass and to pull her entire body against him. Her arms wrapped around his waist and her massive tits pressed tightly against his chest. Another pleasurable whimper escaped into the quiet salon as her lips parted and her tongue gingerly emerged. It was met by his and the forcefulness of that union took her by surprise. So much so her half lidded eyes actually widened in shock. They soon rolled back in her head as his tongue pushed into her mouth and his fingers squeezed her ass. A little trickle of something warm dripped down her inner thighs while a nice stain spread across her white panties. As soon as she felt his cock throbbing against her belly what had been a nice little drip was immediately upgraded to a full on stream. Not only did he feel rather large even through his shorts but she was also starting to smell his musk. A combination of precum, sweat, and arousal that never failed to make her head spin. When he suddenly pulled back and held her face with both hands she stared at his handsome features in delirious pleasure.

Derek didn't say a word as he firmly pushed Sarah to her knees. She offered little in the way of resistance even when her brain finally registered what was about to happen. Before there was a chance to offer any sort of protest, questions, or even speak aloud he yanked down his shorts. Her eyes flew open and she audibly gasped, recoiling slightly and covering her mouth. Suddenly finding herself staring at one of the fattest cocks she'd ever seen in a life filled with plenty of impressive cocks was quite the surprise. He might not have been the longest but he was easily as thick around as her forearm and just contemplating taking that inside her mouth made her salivate. Still holding onto the back of her head with one hand Derek hefted his meaty dick with the other. Lifting it up and chuckling at the look she was giving his dick he waited until Sarah's focus shifted to his amused expression before letting it fall. She had all of a split second to react before his girthy member slapped against her hard enough to fill the room with a wet slap. It covered much of her blushing, teenage face and completely obscured one of her eyes. Precum oozed from the tip and pooled across her upturned forehead while little shivers danced up and down her spine. A nice, creamy puddle was already forming beneath her as she knelt on the linoleum floor and the longer they stayed like that the more it seeped through her underwear. Her breath came in soft little moans and she looked up at him with her one good eye in abject surprise. It was obvious enough what he wanted but how quickly they'd gotten there had left Sarah in something of a state of shock. Seeing his unexpectedly meaty prick hadn't helped much either. Though it would certainly provide ample motivation after he gave a bit of encouragement.

“It's not gonna suck itself.” He said.

Unable to deny his statement Sarah reached up and wrapped both hands around the base of his warm, throbbing shaft, She held it still and slowly pulled back, shuddering as it slid down her face to finally rest against her parted lips. The moment it was perched on the edge of her mouth she pushed forward and both of them moaned. Her eyes stared up at him with a surprisingly innocent look even as she was gradually swallowing the largest cock she'd ever taken. His tip reach the back of her throat withing a few seconds and one of her hands fell away. It started to glide down her gullet soon after and she was forced to move her other hand. But instead of letting it fall aside she used it to cradle his equally weighty balls and lightly grope them. Derek's approving groan made her smile, as much as was possible with her mouth completely filled, and the feeling of his hands on her head was actually kind of nice.

But as she neared the last couple of inches he lost his patience with her slow pace. No matter how good her tight, wet mouth felt he wanted to really enjoy her body and that just wasn't possible if she was in charge. So without a single word his grip tightened and he shoved the last bit of his cock into Sarah's mouth. A sudden, wet gurgle burst from her overstuffed lips and spit dribbled down her chin in thick strands. For a split second she managed to look up at him in surprise before her gag reflex kicked in and she started to convulse around his prick. Luckily for her he didn't stay in that position for very long. When he pulled back she was given a much needed reprieve, her lungs happily sucking in a ragged breath while her tongue reflexively swirled along the underside of his shaft. That would be the only break she'd get for some time as Derek hips retreated for another moment, then drove his dick back inside her with a powerful thrust. Sarah gagged harder than ever and sputtered as her throat was unexpectedly violated and her body quivered in arousal. Her hands jumped to his legs, whether to try and stop him or encourage his roughness even she didn't know. It wouldn't have mattered much either way as he immediately started fucking her face like there was no tomorrow. Within a few seconds the sound of his balls slapping against her chin filled the salon with the backing vocals of her constant and steadily growing gurkles adding even more vulgarity. And at the speed and ferocity he was violating her throat it wasn't long before Derek's appreciation for the tight little hole his dick was currently stretching out could be heard among the cacophony too.

For well over five minutes Sarah knelt there, her knees aching and her back throbbing while a stranger she'd met all of ten minutes prior fucked her throat like there was no tomorrow. And she loved every second of it. Maybe it was how suddenly it'd all happened or maybe it was the fact that he was packing the kind of dick that always made her swoon but something about the whole scenario just worked for her in ways she couldn't even comprehend. The floor beneath her was so wet and her lust was in such overdrive if a dozen guys walked in she wouldn't have batted an eye. Fortunately for Derek no such occurrence took place and he was free to pull his dick from her mouth after laying claim to it for so long she couldn't even find the wherewithal to speak. Offering only a raspy moan Sarah looked up at him with a sloppy smile. Spit and precum soaked most of her face and dripped from her lips and chin in such quantities it nearly matched the juices gushing out of her cunt. Yet despite how arousing that sight was he didn't stop to enjoy it. Rather it was just another piece of kindling on the massive fire that was his libido. In a surprising show of strength Derek lifted Sarah off the floor and pushed her into the chair he'd once sat in. Now fully expecting him to fuck her stupid she gladly climbed onto the seat and even whimpered as he spun her around to sit on her knees with her ass pushed out and her chin resting on the head. She looked back at him and watched in delight as he threw up her skirt, yanked aside her panties, and brought his dick closer to her quivering pussy. 

Instead of shoving his cock into her slit though he aimed it a little higher. Pulling aside one of her plump buttocks to reveal her thoroughly experienced yet still tightly puckered asshole he nodded approvingly. The next moment his entire shaft was buried inside her without the slightest bit of fanfare and for a couple of seconds Sarah could only stare in open mouthed surprised. When the information finally reached her brain she let out a tiny, almost pathetic gasp. Having her asshole so suddenly and so completely filled was an experience only a few had ever given her. The face that her now utterly neglected and jealous pussy was being completely ignored only heightened the explosion of pleasure surging through her. He started thrusting with the same intensity that'd marked the peak of his enjoyment of her throat and it was all over. Derek had a couple seconds to enjoy the seemingly impossible tightness of her ass before it somehow got even tighter. Sarah gripped the edges of the chair so hard her knuckles turned white as a tidal wave of ecstasy crashed down. Her legs clamped together, her whole body stiffened, and a deluge of juices sprayed from her slit while he marveled at accidentally making the best choice he could've.

“Holy shit!” He groaned, “Your ass is so fucking tight!”

Still too deep into her orgasm to really hear what he said Sarah could only moaned and bite the edge of the chair to keep herself from screaming. Juices continued to spray out of her pussy at ever lessening amounts but the intervals remained inextricably linked to how fast and hard Derek was fucking her asshole. Ever time his hips collided with her ass and his balls slapped against her cunt another creamy jet burst out of her. If her thighs and his lower half were completely soaked after a few seconds they were totally drenched by the time she stopped cumming and settled into something close to normal again. Of course that 'normal' was still a moaning, quivering wreck of a woman with her ass stuffed by a fat cock and her nubile young body shaking so hard she could pass for an epileptic. Which had the dual effect of masking how hard Derek was fucking her and giving him all the motivation in the world to keep at it for as long as he possibly could. Although he'd been close during the blowjob feeling her tight hole clamping down around him while she violently squirted all over both of them was perhaps the most difficult test of willpower he'd ever faced. It was only the sheer, single minded desire to keep pounding her that kept him from blowing a thick load into her hole a moment after she finished climaxing. He was absolutely determined to get every ounce of pleasure he could from the bizarre scenario that'd led them there and her unflinching eagerness to take his dick only reinforced his desires. But like so many others had learned no amount of self control or discipline could overcome the amazing force of nature that was Sarah's voluptuous body. Less than a minute after she was done erupting he started.

His cock plunged balls deep into her ass a few more times in quick succession, each thrust accompanied by a groan. As he buried his entire length inside her the tip of his dick swelled and a thick spurt of cum launched deep into Sarah's hole. She felt it splash across her inner walls and a wide smile spread across her face. Another followed soon after and she moaned in delight. Over and over he throbbed and fresh loads of cum were pumped inside her. Aware of and thrilled by each one she hoped it would last forever as the smooth, creamy sensation of his spunk only made her grin widen. The warm feeling of hot cum deep in her belly was something she loved and appreciated like nothing else. Few things compared and it was a sensation that made even the most disappointing sexual partners worthwhile. But to his credit Derek had been anything but disappointing and the impressive amount of jizz he was pumping into her at that moment made the preceding fun all the sweeter in hindsight. Her once tight little ring was completely painted by his jizz and still more kept coming. Without even meaning to the tremors still wracking her milked every last drop he had to give, all but ensuring he basted enough of her innards to lay claim to her ass too. At least until another came along and dethroned him. And just like all the others even after he was done he kept his dick inside her for as long as he possible could, the contractions around his shaft feel nothing short of fantastic in his post coitus bliss. It was only when they started to grow painful as his sensitivity skyrocketed that Derek finally pulled out. 

His cock emerged and Sarah's asshole remained almost exactly as stretched as it had been when he was still inside her. A fact he couldn't miss as he stepped back to survey the mess of a teenage girl he'd just fucked. “I guess this makes us even.” He said as he pulled his shorts up, “I won't tell your boss.”

“T-thank you . . .” Sarah said in a quiet voice. She lacked the strength to look back at him but she did manage to ask, “What about your haircut?”

“I'll just shave the rest of it off myself thanks.”

“Okay . . .”

Derek walked out of the salon a moment later and left her to slowly recuperate in the silence. She didn't even care that her gaping, ruined asshole was pointed directly at the uncovered windows. Any thoughts more complex than how she'd stand up just didn't register. Not even when her friends arrived to pick her up like they'd agreed. Gwen, Aurora, and Stacy noticed the state Sarah was in the moment they got out of the car. All three of them were well acquainted with such a sight but they nonetheless rushed into the salon as quickly as they could. Hearing their approach Sarah could only shiver a little while cum dripped out of her and her asshole gradually returned to something approaching a normal human rectum.

“Damn girl! I thought you said this job was boring!” Stacy exclaimed, “I've sure as shit never finished a shift looking like you!”

While Sarah weakly laughed at her friend's unflappable perversity Gwen merely smirked and Aurora was decidedly less jovial, “Are you okay Sarah?” She asked in genuine concern.

“I'm fine . . . it's nothing I haven't experienced before . . . I just gotta clean up the mess now . . .”

“Well we can help you with that.”

“Yeah I can think of one way I'd like to help.” Stacy remarked as she licked her lips and eyed her friend's puffy, cum filled ring.

But she didn't make it more than a step forward before Gwen grabbed the back of her shirt and yanked her backwards, “We don't have time for that.” She laughed, “Get some towels out of the bathroom or something.”

“Ugh, when did you guys become such prudes!”

“Shut up and let's get her cleaned up. The ice cream place closes at nine.”

“Thanks you guys . . .” Sarah panted as Aurora helped her into a more dignified position, “Gimme a second to catch my breath and I'll help too . . .”

“Don't worry about,” Gwen stated, “It's not the first time one of us had to clean up after the other.”

“Yeah but it is the first time I wasn't allowed to have any fun doing it!” Stacy shouted from the far side of the salon.

“Sorry Stace!”

“If you're really sorry you'll tell us the story!”

Sarah laughed again and looked at Aurora and Gwen, “Well you guys know how I've thought about being a hairdresser?”