Akatsuki Uzumaki Chapter 7 (Patreon)

Naruto parody: Patreon Reward

Chapter 6 

Chapter 7 The Exam Begins

It was the first day of the exams and Hidan was already exhausted. He was called in for a meeting of the instructors and the Hokage to go over the rules of the exam. The immortal was wobbling, he was tired, with dark rings under his eyes. ‘Those brats kept me up all night.’ Naruto, Menma, and Juugo, fucked all night long! Hidan woke up, caught them in a new kinky position only to pass out from a nosebleed.

His dreams haunted/effected by the erotic noises going on, the lewd moans and the sounds of skin striking skin. It warped his imagination and created wild sex dreams, before he could climax, he’d wake up, catch sight of a new erotic position and it was back to dream land. What a hellish cycle!

When he finally came to, it was morning, and the trio were snuggled up in bed. ‘How can such perverts look so innocent while sleeping.’ The room still smelled of sweat, cum, and sex. He face palmed. ‘How’d they break a bed!?’ One of the room’s beds were broken, the headboard was cracked, the frame split, and the mattress...Hidan both did and didn’t want to know what happened. ‘Ugh...’

He was falling asleep in the shower when a messenger bird came for him. Hidan got dressed and headed towards the meeting. It was hard to maintain his cover, especially when he reached the meeting spot and he was surrounded by so many powerful sacrifices for Jashin. ‘Stop...if I kill them now, the exam will be over and Naruto would be pissed. Patience is a virtue...we’ll sacrifice them after the exam is over…’

Hidan got a big surprise upon the Hokage entering the room. Minato was a legend, his title as Yellow Flash shook the ninja world for a time. ‘This is the Yellow Flash?’ Minato looked scruffy and haggard. It seemed the hokage didn’t sleep well either. The old man on his left looked healthier than him. He had a look in his eyes, as if he wasn’t all there.

On his right was the Third Hokage, on his left was a woman with dark hair and red eyes. Minato’s greeting was short, and it was the old man who carried out with the exam info. Even making it to the exam site was part of the exam. There was the preliminaries, the written test, the scroll test, and then the combat test. ‘I heard that the exams in Konoha were harsher than normal, but this is unreal.’

Minato had made many changes to how ninja are trained and when they could be considered ninja. His efforts over the last decade seemed odd to some, but the results would be proven here. Given the state of the exam it tested a ninja’s abilities at every step and failure was treated hard. If a team couldn’t make it to the battle round the chance of promotion was ZERO!

While Minato’s state was off, Hidan had bigger problems. He felt a familiar presence in the room. ‘What is that snake doing here?’ This complicated matters.

-x-

The applicants were given some base information of where the exam was being held. It was a vast building. “Ahh I slept great!” Menma stretched. Juugo nodded in agreement.

“Hidan was absent, looks like things will be starting early.” They arrived at a large building where a large crowd was gathered. Some students were forced back, two young men standing guard over the door.

“Let us through!” The three ninja charged only to get kicked back and knocked away.

“Oh?” Naruto raised a brow.

“Get lost, consider this a kindness!”

“Yeah the Chunin Exam is meant for serious ninja, consider this a kindness and drop out now!” They had a big speech about the importance of the Chunin Rank, becoming captains of their own squads, the life of your comrades in your hands was a lot of pressure. It shook some to their core, but Menma chuckled. “We’ve failed this exam three times we’ve seen it all, and you lot aren’t ready for it!”

“You may be right, but we’d like to pass anyway, thanks!” Menma waved.

“It’s those three again.” Sasuke glared at them. Kiba saw Naruto and blushed.

“Do you think this is a game?” One of the boys snapped.

“Do you really think you can lead your team, knowing you could be leading them to their deaths, that the choices you make will have consequences!” The other growled.

“If I was to lead, we might be in some serious trouble!” Menma laughed and scratched the back of his head. “I know we can die, but I trust in my team we will survive and crush anyone who stands in our way!” He went from jovial to serious, a wave of killing intent washed over the crowd. “If anyone dared to kill my brother, I would make sure the tortures of hell would look like a day at the beach compared to what I’d do to them!” The idea of someone killing Naruto flipped a switch in his head.

Everyone began to sweat and the two boys guarding the door got on the defensive. As quickly as it came the killing aura fell. “But then again there’s not many who’d bring my big bro down like that!” Menma laughed.

‘What the hell is he?!’ Sasuke thought, the aura Menma gave off reminded him of Itachi.

‘He’s supposed to be a bottom?’ Kiba thought in shock. Akamaru whined hiding behind.

“Hahaha, while this has been cute, we are done here.” Naruto said.

“What are you giving up?” The boy with the large kunai on his back said.

“Nope, but we are done...here!” Naruto vanished. He appeared next to the boys. “Your illusion is showing!” The blonde clawed the air, and as if he was pulling back a curtain ripped apart the illusion.

This wasn’t the testing room, this was room 201, they were supposed to go to room 301. Those that got passed these two by force and didn’t see through the genjutsu were eliminated from the exam. The two teens weren’t teens at all, but examiners. “How did you…” The one with Kunai attacked and was blocked by Juugo who slammed him into the wall. “Oi!”

“Sorry about that, Juugo has trouble controlling his strength.” Juugo bowed his head in an apology.

‘Who are these guys?’ The other examiner narrowed his eyes on them. The flame symbol made them even more suspicious.

“You guys are strong!” Neji Hyuuga approached them. “What are your names?”

“One should give their name first, before asking another?” Naruto smirked at the Hyuuga.

“I’m Neji Hyuuga, this is Tenten, and Rock Lee.” Tenten waved at the handsome guys. While Lee gave each of them a hard look. “We are a part of Team Guy!”

“I’m Naruto, this is Juugo, and that is Menma!” He introduced.

“You seem quite skilled, are you rookies from your village?” He eyed their strange headbands.

“We have no obligation to tell you that.” They turned their backs to Team Guy. It was logical, what fool would share their village secrets. That’s why villages hunt rogue ninja in the first place so the secrets wouldn’t be leaked.

Neji glared, and Lee was itching for a fight. He went after them followed by Team Kakashi.

Naruto wasn’t impressed with their skills so far. Hinata had noticed the genjutsu, but was too timid to bring it up. Team Guy lacked basic genjutsu skills, and fell for an obvious trap, even if they pushed forward with their skills they’d have been eliminated. ‘The ninja training in Konoha is grossly imbalanced.’ Before they could make it to the third floor Rock Lee challenged Naruto.

“I would like a spar with you.”

“Menma?” The raven haired brother checked a watch.

“We still have time, the cut off time for the exam is still an hour away.” Sasuke, Kiba, and Hinata watched from a distance.

“Shouldn’t we stop this, it may look bad on us as a village.” Hinata whispered.

“No, let’s see how this plays out.” The Uchiha said. ‘Let’s see what the blonde can do?’ Sasuke thought.

‘Naruto looks so cool!’ Kiba couldn’t help but mentally gush.

“Very well, we can have a spar.” Lee held up a hand.

“Before we fight, I ask for a friendly wager.”

“A wager?” Naruto cocked his head to the side. First he asks for a spar, now a bet, what an odd fellow.

“Yes!” Lee said proudly. “Master Guy and Kakashi are fierce rivals and place their manly spirit and pride on their epic duels.” Said epic duels consisted off Rock Paper Scissor fights. “So please do me the honor of adding a wager to this spar?” He bowed politely.

Naruto chuckled. “You are quite the honest one, alright a friendly wager.” Lee looked happy.

“Should I defeat you or make you give up...you...will you…” He cleared his throat. “Go on a date with me!” Sasuke, Kiba, and Hinata anime fell. Neji sighed.

“He always does this!” He rubbed his temples. Tenten chuckled. Among all the Genin males in their era Lee was probably the only virgin. With girls Lee holds back and gets stomped, and with guys...well…they don’t agree to his bet.

“Very well, I accept.” Jaws dropped. He had Menma and Juugo step back. “Should I win, you shall become my pet.”

“P-Pet!” Lee blushed. Menma and Juugo chuckled. “Are you mocking me?”

“Not at all, to me my mates are my family, and in most family they have a pet or two. Please know that I take very good care of my pets.” Naruto purred on the word pet, and Kiba, Sasuke, and Neji got hard from the tone.

“Real men honor their bets, you accepted my challenge so I shall accept yours. Let’s do this!” Lee showed off his skills right away, revealing tremendous speed and strength. Naruto barely dodged his first strike.

‘As I thought.’ Naruto blocked a barrage of kicks. “You do not have the ability to use ninjutsu or genjutsu!”

“So what, are you gonna look down on me?” He threw a punch but Naruto dodged it. “Even if I can’t do that I’ll become a great ninja, I’ll become...a taijutsu master!” He went at Naruto with a leg drop, which Naruto dodged and Lee cracked the floor.

‘He’s so strong and fast!’ Sasuke was memorizing his moves.

“I’m not looking down on you at all. I intend to defeat you.” He pulled out a piece of paper. Lee turned up the speed but Naruto kept dodging all while folding the piece of paper smaller and smaller.

“Fight me!” Lee cried out as Naruto dodged another of his attacks.

“I am, this move just takes a bit to prepare.” He had the paper the size of a little triangle. (a paper football) All through the fight Naruto has been pouring his chakra into it. Neji’s eyes widened.

“Lee get out of there!” It was too late.

“Paper Art: Confetti Blizzard Jutsu!” The folded up paper burst into a storm of confetti and like a blizzard Lee was swept up in white. He was surrounded on all sides, with no means of escape. The paper slashed and cut, as despite the small size each one was sharper than a kunai. Lee was blown back eventually, butt naked!

The paper had shredded Lee’s clothes leaving him bare ass naked, even his weights had been destroyed. “I win!” Naruto declared.

“You bested me…” Lee covered himself. “I lost!”

Naruto brought out another piece of paper and used his chakra to fold it into a collar. “Indeed, now you shall serve as my pet. If you do a good job, I’ll keep you as my pet forever.” He put the collar on Lee and it shifted fitting his throat like a second skin.

Lee was brought to his hands and knees, a wave of submission washing over him. His dick jumped to attention and his hole throbbed in want. “I...will do my best...master!” he panted out.

“I’m sure you will.” Naruto pats Lee’s head, a feeling of joy bursting out through the taijutsu user.

“But do you really want one such as me as a pet, I can’t do most ninja skills…” He hung his head.

Naruto just laughed. “You are plenty skilled, just do your best to serve me.” Naruto blew on a piece of paper, making a whistle noise. “When you hear that it’s time to serve.”

“Yes master!” Lee bowed his head so hard it hit the floor and made a dent in it. Menma could tell his brother already had big plans for Lee.

“About my clothes?” He looked up.

Naruto just shrugged. “That collar is the only clothing I have to give you, you’ll just have to make do.”

“Yes master…” Lee would be naked for the entire next round, Guy would bring him some clothes before the second.

They made it to room 301, where the Exam would truly begin. The first test was a written exam...oh no…

To be continued...Cheat or Die?

The first exam is an odd one, with difficult nearly impossible questions to solve. The name of the game is cheating one had to use their skills to get the answers from proctors scattered through the room. Kiba is worried especially when Akamaru gets taken out. Naruto gives him a hand, with some prostate massage morse code.