Lamia x Lamia Chap 6 Chap 1-5 PDF (Patreon)

Hunter x Hunter Parody: Tier 1

Chap 5 https://www.patreon.com/posts/22255272

Chap 6 Dangerous Swamp

It had been 4 hours since the hunter exam began and they were still running.

Mr. Satotz was increasing his pace, and the pack was pulling further and further ahead. Leorio was sweating, struggling to catch his breath. The man was his own worst enemy, lashing out at those around him. Even getting mad at Gon and Killua, the hunter exam statistics, he knew the odds were against him. Rookies almost never passed the hunter exam, one in three years if that.  

His eyes fell on Gon and Killua who were ahead of him. ‘I never thought I’d meet a lamia, I’m just a regular guy, I don’t stand a chance, what was I thinking?’ he dropped his briefcase, his lungs felt like they were burning.  

Gon stopped and looked back at him, Leorio was trying to catch his breath, his heart pounding in his ears. Their eyes met. “Hey forget about him, we have to keep moving.” Killua says, but the lamia boy stayed where he was.  

“Man...screw this!” Leorio summoned up everything he had. “I’m becoming a hunter no matter what!” he charged forward, surprising Killua, he thought the old man was down for the count. “DAMN IT ALL!” he shouts as he ran past the two.  

Gon smiled and used his fishing rod to hook Leorio’s briefcase and bring it to them. Killua was impressed. “That was awesome!” he said grinning. The two got back to running.  

From the long tunnel to a flight of stairs. “You gonna be okay?” Killua asked.  

“Hmm, ohh yeah I’ll be fine.” Gon slithered using his long coils to make his way up. It was a lot harder than it was in the run, so it was clear the exam wasn’t sun shine and roses for even a monster.  

Satotz bounded up the stairs like he wasn’t even trying, and the stairs looked just as endless as the tunnel. Many of the applicants were shocked, Satotz was putting on quite the show prancing up the stairs effortlessly, he wasn’t even out of breath. It was only a matter of time before more applicants drop like flies.  

-x-

“Hey, I got an idea. Let’s race to the finish, see who’s faster!” Killua said excitedly.  

“Sure, okay, and the loser has to buy dinner.”  

“Yeah, you’re on!” the two pick up the pace.  

Leorio had stripped off his jacket and undershirt, leaving it tied around his waist, his tie still around his neck. His badge was pressed against his glistening chest. His body glistened with sweat as he ran.  

“Are you okay, Leorio?” Kurapika asked.  

“I’m great! I’ve never been better!” he says. “If I forget how stupid I look it’s a lot easier to keep going!” Leorio says.  

“I think you look fine.” Gon says making Leorio blush. Kurapika takes his chance to step it up, he lightens his load, tucking his clothing in his bag. He gets shirtless to, and follows after Leorio.  

“Leorio, why do you want to be a hunter? Is it really just about the money?” Kurapika’s words made Leorio’s smile fall. “We haven’t known each other very long, but it doesn’t seem like you. I’ve known people who are only obsessed with money and they aren’t like you at all.”

“You got it all figured out, don’t you?”  

“The scarlet eyes, that’s why the kurta clan was targeted.” the eyes were a special trait of the kurta, when their emotions are heitened, the color of their eyes change. “In that state, the color of our eyes is considered one of the seven most beautiful colors in the world, and they get a hefty price on the black market.”  

“So that’s why your clan was attacked, the eyes?”

“They plucked the eyes from each of my brethren’s copses.” Kurapika says. “Not a single one escaped desecration, even now I can hear them the anguished screams of their darkened eyes.” Leorio was shocked. “I swear on my life, I will capture and punish the phantom troupe, and reclaim their eyes.”  

“That’s why you want to be a hunter?” Kurapika nods. Becoming a hunter meant access to wealthy clientele and access to blackmarket information. “Can you really do it? Becoming something you hate?”

“My pride means nothing, not when compared to my clan’s suffering.” Gon and Killua heard it they were close to the other two.  

“Sorry, I don’t have some big noble cause like you do. The only thing I’m after is money.” Kurapika didn’t believe it. “For the right price, you can buy treasures, dreams, hearts, and even people’s lives!”  

Their argument while running was taking more out of the two. “Take that back Leorio!”  

“What it’s the truth isn’t it? If I had money, my friend would still be alive today!” he snapped. “He was ill, it was a curable disease.” Leorio didn’t like thinking about his past, it was better to pretend he didn’t care even if it made him look like an ass. “The problem was the operation cost a fortune. I was naive, I figured I could become a doctor, so I could cure the kids with the same disease and tell their parents they owed me nothing...” It was a nice dream. “Pretty good joke, right?”  

Leorio was in tears. “In order to become a doctor you need an obscene amount of money, the whole world runs on money, so I’m gonna get as much as I can!”  

Gon smiled at him and patted his back with his tail. “You’re a really good guy Leorio!” the man blushed.  

“Yeah, you a pretty decent old man.”  

“Hey, I’m not old!” Leorio snapped. “Can’t you tell I’m a teenager just like you?!”  

“Huh?” Killua stared in shock.  

Kurapika was stunned. “No Way!”  

Gon chuckled. “Yeah, he smells about our age.”  

-x-

Many applicants were left on the stairs, passed out or left weak and sweaty. Gon and Killua pulled away from Leorio and Kurapika. “Hey Gon, I’m actually pretty impressed you can keep up with me.”  

Gon chuckled. “You are?”  

“Maybe they are all just so slow you seem fast.” Killua says blushing, going into a bit of tsundere mode. “Man I thought the exam would be more exciting than this, but it’s not even a challenge, boring!”  

Gon chuckled. “Why do you want to be a hunter, anyway?”  

“Me? I never said I wanted to be a hunter. I just heard the exam was supposed to be really hard. It sounded fun so here I am, but it’s not as fun as I thought.” he says. ‘Though I did get to meet someone interesting.’ he stole glances at Gon. “How about you?” he had a feeling he knew the answer, monsters tended to need the protection of the hunter license.  

“Well, the thing is my dad’s a hunter, so I decided I was gonna become one no matter what!” the two ran past the drop outs around them.  

“What kind of hunter is he?”  

“No idea,” Gon says and Killua laughs. He explained that his Aunt Mito told him some things about his dad, and said he took the exam at his age and passed on his first try. “So that’s why I decided to leave my island, so I came here in order to find out why he chose being a hunter over staying at home with me.”

“Hmm,” Killua had to admit Gon was interesting. Their talk ended as there was light at the end of the tunnel. It was double time, time!  

“The exit!” everyone cheered. Gon and Killua sped up, racing for the exit. Satotz made it to the top.  

“Now lets see how many applicants made it this year.” Just as he turned Gon and Killua were right on him.  

“Goal!” they cheered.  

“I did it I finished first!” Gon cheered.  

“What are you talking about? I was first!” Killua says. They went back and forth, of “I won” Instead of continuing fighting they asked Satotz.  

“You both made it at the same time.” he says.  

“Guess that means we have to buy each other dinner, it can be a date!” Gon chuckles, Killua blushed.  

“A d-date!” his heart fluttered.  

As it turns out this wasn’t even the second phase. They waited as the applicants gathered outside the tunnel, a heavy fog surrounding them. Satotz kept checking his watch time to time. Leorio and Kurapika made it.  

“The Milsy Wetlands, also known as Swindlers Swamp.” Satotz explained. “We must cross it to reach the second phase of the exam. This place is home to a variety of truly bizarre animals and plants, many of which are crafty, voracious creatures, that deceive and feast on human prey. So please be careful, if you are deceived you will die!”  

Not just the creatures but the wetlands themselves held plenty of danger making it the perfect home for the deceiving monsters. They were entering the home turf of dangerous creatures an already dangerous disadvantage.  

A gate behind them closed, signaling the cut off point. “Now follow me closely, so you won’t be deceived.”  

Leorio was pretty confident, if they knew they were gonna deceive them, they wouldn’t fall for it.  

“Don’t fall for it!” They turn and see a man sneaking around the wall. He looked beat up. “Don’t let them fool you!” the applicant’s gasped. Gon didn’t get what was going on. “He’s lying! That man is lying to you!” he pointed at Satotz. “He’s an impostor!”   

“An impostor?!” people were looking between Satotz and the new guy.  

“I’ll prove it,” he drags out a creature that looked sorta like Satotz. Many of the applicants gasped. Killua didn’t believe it, and Gon wasn’t sure what was happening. “This is a manfaced ape from the milsy wetlands. They love the taste of human flesh, but their limbs are really long and thin, so they are actually quite weak, that’s why they disguise themselves as humans.”

It was clear many applicants were believing this guy’s story. “He’s gonna lure you all into a trap and eat you!” the weaker applicants were starting to sweat.  

With lies the applicants were piecing things together based on bad information. The ninja Hanzo pointed out. “So that’s why he doesn’t walk like a normal human.”  

“Umm, why is everyone so wound up?” Gon asked, they turned to him. “Mr. Satotz is human, this guy smells like an animal.” he pointed to the fake examiner. Not many were quick to believe the word of a monster besides Kurapika, Leorio, and Killua who wasn’t buying the newcomer’s story anyway.  

To prove it, Hisoka launched two attacks, throwing cards at both men. Satotz caught the cards, while the cards pierced the fake examiner, killing him! Hisoka chuckles. “I see, the little lamia boy was right. He’s the real one.” the manfaced ape stopped playing dead and ran off. “The examiners are hunters, each is hand picked by the committee to do this job without pay. Anyone holding the title we want ourselves, could have deflected that attack, and quite easily I might add.”  

“I shall take that as a compliment. Thank you.” Satotz says. “However, should you attack me again for any reason, I will have no choice but to report you for attacking an examiner.” Which meant immediate disqualification.  

Vultures swooped down and feasted on the corpse, revealing he was a manfaced ape as well. In this half of the exam letting your guard down could mean death…

To be continued...Chapter 7 Trouble in the Swamp

Gon and Killua get separated from Kurapika and Leorio and run into trouble. How was Killua to know about plant spores that dissolve clothing?! No clothes will be provided either, they can either continue the exam naked or retire.