Life Update // Finding a healthy distraction (Patreon)

I'm just sliding in with a quick update today because my brain is mush and im so fucking tired! ... but the good kind of tired, ya know. The healthy distraction tired that I didn't know that I needed.

I've been suffering quite bad panic attacks recently, the kind that basically ruin my day because I can't think of anything else other than how it feels like im being kicked in the chest repeatedly.

I made a list of everything that had shifted in my life and made some pretty dramatic changes (I even switched to decaf) in the hope of taking back control over my nervous system.

I switched out caffeine for decaf, I reduced my sugar, I started exercising, I cut down my screen time, but nothing seemed to be the determining factor to re-gaining control. It wasn't until I returned to work...

I've been back at my retail job now for a little over a week after a very long 6 months away, and I haven't felt this physically exhausted in a long time! But I also haven't felt this mentally relaxed in a long time either...

It's as though I've taken a holiday from my mind. My retail job has quickly become the healthy distraction I didn't know I needed.

As much as a love slow mornings with no where to be, it turns out it's not mentally healthy for me. I also understand it was a privilege that I was able to experience the slow side of unemployment for a period of time and have that space to figure out what my soul needs but who would have thought that I'd actually be excited to return to work!!!

J x