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Ep. 28 - Uncensored - Please Stop Doing This (Patreon)

Published:
2023-06-27 19:16:56
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In this episode, QT & Maya talk about OceanGate's Titanic-bound submersible, frat parties, dating apps and therapy. 

Comments

Felipe Boubee

I hate knowing that the bumble guy lives in my city lol

dar

whineaboutit

RarityMadeMyDress

Not shot I'd get into a sub, can't even get into a plane lol

Caroline

hell ya new ep of beer about it let’s go ladies 🤩🤩

JoNatty12

Happy Positivity Tuesday everyone:)

Hydrostedt

There is no amount of money someone could pay me to go in a submarine

Klav

forsen

Ozzy

I'm so mad you didn't tell us about the beer of the week 😫😂 I live in San Diego and I see those beers all the time

Glitch

Maya not getting pitch Perfect smh

Jackson Lewchuk

When I got tested at Planned Parenthood, they also used the system of only calling you if you're positive...

Jack Sleath

¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Witold_mix

Ngl, I covered my face with a pillow during the voice message segment, it was wild to hear.

Experimental Cyborg

This whole "all men are scary and bad until proven otherwise" phenomenon is sort of self fulfilling because a lot of the more timid single straight men don't even try anymore, so the crowd on dating apps and in clubs is skewed for the worse. Oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Experimental Cyborg
>>111654934

... would be nice if we could all just not be assholes but a lot of guys and some gals just don't get it :(

john wright

I would feel bad for the guy if A it was the first time he tried something like this, and/or B) they had matched first and then this happened. The fact that he saw her page she basically already rejected him and he cyber stalked her to find her FB is a step too far to warrant any sympathy from me. You can't control what goes viral but I've seen this behavior a lot and at some point we need to talk about these bad behaviors openly and freely if things are gonna change.

Erik Ivarsson

I would go in a submarine if it was above water ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Jamie Slacks

Neurodivergent does not mean autistic necessarily, a lot of people tend to use it to mean “i’m quirky” or “not like the other girls”

Brent Kelly

dude clearly hasnt seen the movie Swingers

Jimothy (edited)

Comment edits

2024-01-12 19:25:48 ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯
2023-06-27 21:45:05 ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Tfries_

pepoJS FEEEEEEEEEET

Mitch Mitcherson

those voicemails were really something

LovedFox (edited)

Comment edits

2024-01-12 19:25:48 i tried so hard to avoid that twitter thread after listening to 10 seconds of one video, i cant believe wai made me suffer through his whole stand-up voice note show
2023-06-27 21:55:28 i tried so hard to avoid that twitter thread after listening to 10 seconds of one video, i cant believe wai made me suffer through his whole stand-up voice note show

i tried so hard to avoid that twitter thread after listening to 10 seconds of one video, i cant believe wai made me suffer through his whole stand-up voice note show

Dani

Just questioning yourself whether to write up a pros and cons list about your current relationship should surely be a sign that it's over.

Ambrosia

I decided to go through the twitter thread (not the quote tweets) - so many women reported that he did this, and there are also some screenshots of him being harassing to women that he worked with, an Andrew Tate supporter and defender, spent an entire year liking every single one of a woman's instagram photos, and trying to be a homewrecker to women in relationships. As much as I do agree that it was probably not the *greatest* thing to share his name off the bat (OP didn't know how toxic he is when she first posted it all) but now I'm VERY glad that she did. It looks like she has potentially saved future women from a lot of potentially dangerous situations. That said, I physically backed away from my screen while listening to those messages. WHEW.

Olising

I know this is unlikely to be read but I'd love to see you guys try some Gewurztraminer. It's a wine from the Alsace in France. My fav white wine! Idk if u can buy it in US but it tastes like lychee!

V-Nessa

🤷🏻‍♀️

Harry Clabon

of all the horrible traumatic stories that have been shared on this pod, the voice note guy is the one to send the most shivers down my spine

Bassam

I think that guy is absolutely unwell mentally. But the internet doxxing him and trying to get him fired from his job won't solve anything

Lindsey

Beer About It! Finally a drink I actually like. Also I know it was probably a throwaway question, but a Sculpin is a fish! Specifically the fish on the label. :)

Vin

What’s up with singing feet PogO

vhs03

for anyone that needs it...if you're not able to pay for therapy, rise above the disorder is a great charity that can fund up to 6 months' worth of sessions!!!!

TheAlan614

that bumble guy is something else

birdybite

“and therapy.” respectfully, at this point, I’ve considered this to be a given every episode 😂

Alex Blythe

Every single of of these episode descriptions should end with “… and therapy”

Mando Chil

I love Planned Parenthood. They're the only place I trust for most things. They are always respectful of my trauma and so easy to talk to. It is a truly judgement free zone.

Kady

I personally was more afraid of the girl being stalked after she posted that tweet.

Alondra Alanis

I think it’s actually great advice give to friends in relationships specifically with narcissistic partners. Bc most girlies will stay and even if you tell them to leave and give them the best explanations they’ll choose to stay, but having them write it down and keep track of it basically forces them to see things more objectively(?) 🤷🏻‍♀️

Goober128

I felt every eye roll on the note guy, imo probably shouldn't have been doxxed but also ew

Snacboi

My favorite emoji is 🤳 for when I want someone to know I read what they sent me but I have no idea what to say back

Benite Rutaganira

Totally relate to not being able to do dirty talk, it's probably the religious trauma

Frances Wilson

I thought I went down the Titan rabbit hole until I heard QT's synopsis.

Catbug

The psychology of that bumble guy could be studied for centuries

Benite Rutaganira

I agree the jokes on social media definitely went too far, but I think the reason why a lot of people were frustrated with the OceanGate situation too is because that same week, hundreds of migrants died well within reach of help but they weren't saved cuz they were poor people of color. It's just sad all around

sav

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Alex Blythe

I just made banana bread. I’m excited for the recipe card. Great episode!

Cindy A

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Dune_Shadow

I really appreciate the advice about how to find a therapist. I've been too anxious to try and figure it out but the steps don't seem too difficult laid out like that. Also beer > wine ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Zay

Yeah the submarine thing seemed very unserious and unprepared for billionaires who have the time and money to do stuff like that. Anther thing is like why do they want to see the titanic that bad its not even that cool fr. The voice note guy was a weird occurrence. The fact that he may have happened to find her profile on facebook isnt THAT crazy to me because it doesn't sound that impossible. Yet I can definitely understand why she was taken back or put off by that and she has every right to feel uncomfortable because of it. While I also don't agree with doxxing him in the act of posting about her experience but hey it is what it is. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Also W for maya talking about how to get a therapist because I've been somewhat planning on looking into it and I definitely agree that anyone can benefit from therapy.

Jacob Boucher

That guy exhibited more red flags than a Norwegian-Moroccan embassy

Akumu2100

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

udara cs

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sensible Man

I think the biggest issue with the sub was how much money and resources were putting into finding these wealthy people, whereas nothing is done for the hundreds of refugees that get lost at sea.

Finn

For the Bumble guy, I agree that maybe posting it was unnecessary and will cause this guy to get hate/attacked online. He did send these messages to a complete stranger which, IMO, makes it fair game to upload. If you were talking to a friend and then they decided to upload some of your messages to the internet, then I'd agree it's fucked up. In this case though, it's literally a complete stranger and he's done it more than once and should understand this is a risk. He fucked around and now he's finding out.

Michael Castrataro

Bumble guy definitely has an addiction to stimulants

tilly

neurodivergent or not i think that guy was extremely inappropriate for everything - searching for her fb (where he can learn so much about her personal life while she literally doesn't know this man), commenting on her body etc. and being a serial offender it's definitely concerning and i don't blame the woman for posting abt it on twitter bc who knows if that guy could be a stalker or dangerous person, but the virality is a shame and people on twitter who aren't even involved in that scenario always take it way too far because they wanna feel included in the 'drama' ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Ethan_4546

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

seashell

dating apps just kinda suck for everyone involved. i feel like i get a reasonable amount of matches when ive used them i guess but it bothers me as a dude that it's harder to find people to take a chance because theres psychos like him out there. women have to filter through so much it becomes like a job, i dont blame them at all. it makes me feel gross that an app where another woman has to verify you is even a reasonable thing to exist. the bumble dude absolutely should not be doxxed but he needs to take it from like a 100 down to maybe a 30 and not act like a psycho. there's bits of him that are charming if his existence didnt exude red flags

peri

i feel like the person who posted it did the right thing by sharing his name cause if you read the updates she posted (there are 23 by the time im writing this) some of the things he has done are absolutely dangerous and predatory

Babafunlayo Oke

QT = W fren for all those gifts for Maya. :-)

Jordy

Y’all how do i join the discord

amara nzeh

comment a shrug actually made me laugh

Preshure

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

starlitstellaa

im struggling to find a therapist rn actually so maya that was so helpful thank you <3

Claes Rishoej
>>111654934

this implies a correlation between non-timid and "scary and bad" that just doesn't exist

Experimental Cyborg
>>111654934

"scary and bad" and timid have very little overlap. That doesn't mean non-timid immediately means "scary and bad" or that zero "scary and bad" timid people exist. (the timid scary and bad people are probably the scariest and baddest tbh)

Gabrielle

¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Jose Marin

I agree with QT on that weirdo. Def ok with calling out that behavior and posting it but not his real name or info. I also agree with maya- therapy is beneficial and helps you see things that you might not otherwise see or realize. I have good insurance but sessions are not covered until my deductible is met. It’s nice though because through work we get 8 free sessions through our EAP

TarzHann

As someone from Newfoundland. Its been a weird couple weeks. I cant leave my house without hearing about the titan

Jesse

👹

Helmi

as someone with autism, public humiliation of other people with autism for acting "cringe" makes me super uncomfortable, because it makes me scared that it will fuel ableism. There's other ways to handle it!

Gary Winter

I thought I heard him say "a fellow neurodivergent," as if he was saying she was as well. Did I hear that wrong? Regardless, I don't really have a problem with him being exposed. He's working from a script on multiple women. Creeps thrive in darkness. And he is very creepy.

AJ Witt

The public humiliation was too far, it's unfortunate that he's done it multiple times (let alone at all because it is weird) but based on the voice memos it sounds like he is not mentally stable. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

SuperDuprEgg

I had to listen to the voicemails on 2x speed it was so painful

ClimateKy

ya'll I get where you're coming from, but the reason people had trouble empathizing with the sub victims was that these were billionaires, people who spent their lives with absolutely zero empathy for the millions of working class people they are directly exploiting (and killing in many circumstances) in order to amass an unfathomable amount of wealth, so much wealth in fact that they have nothing better to do (other than continue hoarding it during a time of record economic inequality) than spend an amount the majority of humanity won't make in a lifetime on a lavish suicide mission to do obnoxious unnecessary disaster tourism at the bottom of the ocean just to say you did it... simple as that, the sheer existence of billionaires is magnitudes more unethical than a billion jokes about them imploding in a submersible at the bottom of the ocean. period

BinkyBonky

Do we get the taylor react in the $5 tier since it's a whole patreon count or is it in the higher tier?

melmo

my last boyfriend forgot my birthday, he ended up being very transphobic and a little homophobic which led me to leaving him.

ChubbyHobo

Telling him this is very bad, is the move. Doxing is not the move. Sometimes people really are that socially inept and should be allowed to learn.

Loune

LOVING qt’s submarine recap. As an engineer myself I was fascinated/angry at the situation.. part morbid curiosity and part anger regarding the regulation bypasses. Everyone stopped talking about it after they were confirmed dead but I’m still hooked haha! I think I went on the same rabbit hole qt did. Speaking of which, if you want another rabbit hole qt, look into fracture mechanics in general. Catastrophic failure of materials is my version of horror content 🤣🤣

Loune

Y’all honestly knocked it out of the park this episode ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it was super cathartic for me, I honestly needed that lol. Definitely took some notes.

Shane

The guy was wrong for messaging her but she's absolutely despicable for doxing him over it, especially when he said he's neurodivergent in the message.

ben green

great ep as always :] wanna say though that as someone who is autistic, if he also has asd it does not excuse his behaviour at all. he has the emotional capacity and capability to comprehend how 'great of a human' he is and all these other complex concepts seemingly with ease, he has it within him to realise that how he's behaving is inappropriate and waaaay out of line in comparison to everything he says he is- most autistic people do.

N.N.

Maya knows how having hundreds of thousands of people accuse her of doing something bad, that she did not originally think was bad.

molly

I just wanna say that having a therapist cry isn’t necessarily unprofessional… it’s a style of therapy! It may not work for everyone but as someone who needed someone to reflect emotion back to me to realize how fucked up my stories were, it was so so helpful to see my therapist cry. She brought up on our first meeting that it was her style to reflect emotion 💖

Emily Wren

Neurodivergence is not an excuse. If you are neurodivergent you go to therapy to learn how to properly exist in society. I had an autistic man try very hard to figure out which dorm room was mine over several weeks of running into each other. It was terrifying. I don’t know if he knew how awful those questions were. But so many people made excuses for him which invalidated my very creepy experience - having someone track down your FB from a first name is horrifying and frankly I’m glad he went viral so other women are warned - I *dont* think he should lose his job, but he does need to learn to stop

aj
>>111673376

More than 700 women, children and men died and we didn't hear a single thing about it in the media. They didn't get the same empathy.

Kate Keeffe

I was thinking the same as Maya and honestly really happy that that take was given. That yes... what he did was crossing a boundary and consequences and accountability to grow for some ones action is great.. but the amount of attention this post got- " what will that do a person like this?" because. youno. maybe he is a psychokiller gunna kill someone.... great we are raising huge attention to other women on this to be safe .... or maybe hes just a human who has issues and has made some bad life choices and does this shame of such an isolating and monumental size really help him or the girls here? i dunno i think anyway that it could potentially make a person with issues have more issues. i dunno. should there be consequences to hes actions? sure. should he be publicly humiliated and hated by 70,000+ people? ehh... Edit: after reading some of the comments... particularly Peri's, its making me think that maybe i'm wrong for being too soft on him, as @Peri said above, they read the thread and that there are 23 updates... and apparently some of the things he has done are absolutely dangerous and predatory soooo..... I may be ill informed in this topic so ... welp XD

Kate Keeffe
>>111769278

omg. I'm in love with you for that shrug emoji, only i use that emoji *jk*

Courtney Reeves

thanks to you, i might go see a therapist ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but seriously, thank you for being so open with therapy. i've always been too scared to talk to someone about my struggles but i know it can be so beneficial and healthy. thank youuuu <3

Tuesday

Not sure Maya will see this, and I don't know the specifics as to why her therapist can't see her anymore, BUT I had a situation where my therapist moved and then i also moved, leaving them legally unable to provide me with therapy. As a loop hole, we changed the official classifications of our work together to from "Therapy" to "Life Coaching" which is not bound to state law in the same way. Aside from the fact that every session is virtual, our work together still remains the same.

Melissa Golden

Omg ok WTF I live in the city the creepy phone guy said he was going to play music at, and my therapist this week is like telling me to join bumble to meet friends. Now I just want to go on and make my bio a shrug ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ emoji hahahaha

Gabe

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Jason Lee

Those voicemails make me think this person is going to talk for an hour straight on a date and not ask any questions.

Joe

omg that bumble audio message

Jaclyn Cooper

¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Tony Gould

the Titan dude was a freak. he married the great-granddaughter of a Titanic survivor.

xoxo_gems

Him being neurodivergent doesn’t exempt him from being called out. He went out of his way to find her and other women on Facebook to essentially harass them. It’s weird and extremely disturbing. Maybe she should’ve blocked out his name but she was probably freaked out that some weird guy “mysteriously found” her on Facebook.

Glitchora

¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Melissa S
>>111656834

ND is an umbrella term for a lot of different conditions including ocd, ptsd, adhd, bipolar etc

Cborla

does anyone know where maya got her earring/necklaces? ive been looking everywhere for a cute chunky chain necklace and hers is perfect!

77katz77

It's a dating app, it's not that deep bro.

Jenny Lyons

I'm an SD native and grapefruit Sculpin is my go-to beer to bring to parties. A sculpin is what that fish on the can is called

Sorin

I think it's weird what he did but she shouldn't have published what he did in my opinion. Yeah it's disturbing that he thoroughly searched the internet for her but her FB profile was public and she accepted to receive messages from other people. He didn't threat her. She had a weird and somewhat creepy experience and in turn he got public shaming for life(not fair in my opinion)

Daddywarbucks

I live in Oregon and to me the Grimace shake tasted like Marionberry (just a specific breed of blackberry that was made here) and i thought it was really good. Its mcdonalds so i would figure its all made with the same shit, but maybe they actually sourced local fruit or something? Usually any kind of shake is too sugary for me

Mindbulletz

Billionaires are necessarily responsible for an amount of collective suffering justifying any punishment, just to become billionaires in the first place. For once, the tables have turned, and poor people aren't the ones getting killed for no reason because of the broken systems made by and for the rich. How can you think that someone whose very existence is the tragedy receiving their Darwin Award is anything less than just? Do you mourn for any other convicted criminal or even their family?

Sifi123

🤷

Anthurium

That dude sounds like a “nice guy” 🤷‍♀️

Daddywarbucks

Back when the Titanic sank, newspapers were cracking jokes about it, and that was a significantly higher number of people dead, so its definitely not a recent phenomenon or an internet callousness thing

Daddywarbucks
>>111846853

I think if you don't feel bad for the families of criminals theres probably something wrong with you. They are almost never a part of the crimes taking place, they lose a family member, and for the rest of their lives will be known as the family of that guy who did X. They'll get shamed for decades just as a result of being related to someone, which doesn't seem fair to me

em

okay the guy who went on voyage 3 was DALLMYD (he's a youtuber) and he did not pay for the trip! /info second, as an autistic person i honestly didn't find what the guy did to be that weird. he probably genuinely just typed her name into facebook and decided to shoot his shot. she shouldn't have doxed him because it's VERY clear he's neurodivergent. :/ nothing he said was scary to me, just "cringy" (i'm a victim too so i've that perspective as well)

NallM012

Oh god that was PAINFUL. What must go through a guys head, that makes him act this way??? Ewwwwwww please never ever ever do this ever...

Kiera Clements

yeah idc about that idiotic billionaire at all lmfao i mean, to me, it seems fucked up to want to visit a site where hundreds of people died because of an actual tragedy as a little "tourist attraction" because you can because you're rich. it's a big ass load of karma

Kiera Clements
>>111917658

literally the only person i feel bad for is the 19 yr old, whether he wanted to go or not. he was a child. the guy should've never had him come

Lectonar

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

QuintenG

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anastasia

Submarine memes happened because (1) it's hard to have sympathy when the CEO was so public about his blatant disregard for safety, (2) billionaires only exist because of systematic exploitation so who gives a sh*t, and (3) hundreds of migrants just died trying to find refuge and the relevant authorities just watched it happen and then criminalised anyone trying to rescue them, and news companies were reporting on the submarines instead of these migrants

Michal Dobrzynski

I think QT's takes re the submarine were excellent. Especially regarding the learning from the failure.

Michal Dobrzynski

I've been depressed and debilitated for almost 40 years and this made me consider doing something about it. It's hard to admit you need it.

Val

Why is he joe Goldberg??? The way he’s judgmental and analytical it’s so crazy how similar he is to joe

Sasha

It’s totally messed up to release that guys name

Dani M
>>111819359

That's what I'm saying! Neurodivergent people are capable of respecting boundaries.

Daddywarbucks

Its almost impossible to actually talk someone out of a toxic relationship by just telling them its bad, you have to do what QT did and find a way for them to come to the realization themselves.

Daddywarbucks
>>111751548

if i died in a billionaire's factory, they'd be upset that production was slowed, they wouldn't give a shit about me or my fanily

Daddywarbucks
>>111791890

Every neurodivergent person should go to therapy to learn how to be "normal" in every facet of society is an incredibly unrealistic take

ClimateKy
>>111751548

Yup precisely, and this isn't even hypothetical there are myriad examples of this in the real world so it's always incredibly painful to watch well-intentioned people (e.g. Maya and QT) fall victim to this hyper-capitalist mindset that brainwashes us into humanizing our oppressors who are actually horrendous evil people.

Lezzerlee

QT's experience of Planned Parenthood is wild to me because mine was exactly what Maya's was with her school: PP would only call you if you were positive. Granted I went to college in a large city, so their volume of patients was high. My birth control was completely free though! Experiences change drastically across the country.

Lezzerlee
>>111856956

Absolutely not! Being neurodivergent does not exempt people from stalker-like behavior.

Luis A Perez
>>112012952

Submarine trips to the Titanic wreck is not new or revolutionary. They were done regularly, this guy just wanted to monetize it and took unnecessary, ill advised shortcuts. The implosion was imminent and they were warned many times by the industry.

Madtanner

If maya or QT are reading this. Maya can go on the website and get the IPA shipped. Thats how I get them from that company. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Arrowni

I love when QT goes into a rabbit hole, she is a talented narrator and she communicates the surprises pretty well. One of the strengths of Wine About It in general if you ask me

KittyCaity95

Billionaires are evil people. I don't want to spend my time crying over them. The people dying didn't even see the memes. Why do these people get to go spend tons of money because they are bored rich people thrill seeking while refugees die in a ship fighting for good lives?

Andy

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anthony Calhoun

okay I'm way late to this but re: voice message guy. I would NEVER find their number/off the app etc, I have a vid on yt that's *kind of* suppose to be like those voice messages. Its old and outdated now but I thought of it as a "one sided first date". Made it as a result of frustrations with the 'issues' of online/app dating. I've received almost entirely positive feedback on it tho. But dude at the end is for sure way way way way way way way over the line/ finding her off the app and texting is NOT ok.