October Bonus Chapter (Patreon)

This month I prepared a Halloween special, hope you like it. Enjoy!

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A storm raged over Farcrest and thick clouds blocked the sunlight, leaving the city in a constant dusk. The thunder had chased the merchants out of the streets and the channels that fed the city with clear water threatened to overflow the banks. It wasn’t a normal storm but it wasn’t an area spell either. Elincia had warned me about the upcoming storm. During the winter solstice, the land’s mana flow was renewed, and spirits wandered free outside the boundaries of the Farlands.

The city walls had an old enchantment to block any spiritual influence from outside, however, there was little that could be done against rain and wind spirits. On and on, spirits weren't my main concern. Mr. Byrne’s diaries had proven to be more interesting than I initially expected and they had kept me busy during the stormy days. In one of the diaries, the man described a spell to open a ‘portal back home’ for the duration of the winter’s solstice.

The best thing about it? It used mana from the environment.

I drew the magic heptagram in the middle of the ballroom and carefully wrote the runes while reciting chants in what looked like classical Greek. Surprisingly enough, [Master of Languages] was able to understand Mr. Byrne’s phonetic scribbling and translating it into words. I also had to perform a strange dance, similar to Nicki Minaj’s Anaconda. I did my best, grateful nobody saw such a shameful performance.

I finished the ancient chant and, for an instant, nothing happened. Then, the ground trembled and the runes around the heptagram lit up with a blue gleam. In the middle of the room, a flat square made of a bright metallic surface appeared. I breathed calmly. The spell had worked, but there was still a big question lingering. Mr. Byrne described the spell as a ‘portal back home’. What if the portal literally transported me to Byrne’s house? Maybe it was what the spellcaster considered ‘home’. Was the spell going to transport me to my room in the orphanage then?

The portal's surface became crystal clear, then, I entered the magic circle and peeked through the bidimensional window into my old apartment. It was as messy as the last time I left. There was no way I would bring the kids with me to my apartment in such a state. I looked around. it wouldn’t hurt if I got ahead and did some quick cleaning, right?

Stepping into the portal felt like freezing water washing all over my body, and, a moment later, I was in the middle of my kitchen. I turned around, my pulse suddenly surging. The portal was there, if only a little tilted to the left. Not bad for a first time dimension traveler.

Lights were working and all my stuff remained there so I hadn’t been evicted yet.

I put my phone to charge and, as soon as the screen lit up, I turned it on. Enduring the desire of browsing cute cat videos, I checked the date. October 31th. More than three months had passed in Fracrest but only three days had passed here. Suddenly, a surge of messages from my boss swarmed my phone. Where are you? Four hours had passed. Why are you not answering? I’m going to have HR dealing with you the first thing on Monday if you don’t answer right now! You are the problem with this country! I’m giving you a last chance, people would die for a job like yours, you piece of useless shit.

As the messages continue popping up, the more hostile they become to the point I had enough material to build a solid case of workplace psychological abuse. I had no time nor the desire to go through the messages so, with a grin from ear to ear, I blocked the number. Then, I rolled up my sleeves and pulled out the vacuum cleaner. It would only take a moment to turn this dump into a brand new bachelor apartment.

I looked at the date and an idea popped into my mind.

I grabbed my phone and ordered pizza.

I crossed the portal back to Farcrest and the same shivering sensation enveloped me. The first thing I heard this time was a high pitched scream.

Elincia was standing on the ballroom’s doorway with an arrow nocked on the bowstring, ready to shoot at whatever lovecraftian horror that would emerge from the portal. However, it was just me.

“Why is there a floating rectangle in the middle of the ballroom?! What happened to your clothes?” Elincia yelled as I recovered from the interdimensional trip. Other than a shiver of cold and a slight dizziness, it seemed to be a hundred percent safe.

I had exchanged the cloak and riding pants for my gray sweatpants and an old exercise shirt.

“Prepare the kids, Eli, I ordered pizza. It will be there in less than half an hour.” I said as I turned around and put a foot inside the portal.

Elincia pointed the bow towards me and raised an eyebrow.

“Alright, alright, alright! I’ll answer all the questions.” I raised my arms in defeat.

Five minutes later, Elincia finished scolding me for opening an interdimensional passage inside the manor. In hindsight, it has been irresponsible of me to perform an experimental spell without the proper safeguards. However, it had worked with zero lovecraftian incidents and no ancient gods disturbed. Hopefully.

Fifteen minutes later, the kids were lined up in the ballroom, each one with an empty bag in their hands. Their eyes shone with excitement as I explained the details of the art of trick-or-treating. Elincia had dressed them with their best clothes, a strange mixture of medieval and renaissance styles. I was a bit worried about the snakefolk twins and Shu, but, with a little luck, everyone would assume they were dressed as mythological creatures for Halloween.

Wolf and Zaon were dressed as renaissance duelists, although I had insisted on leaving the swords on this side of the portal. Firana and Ilya had dropped their usual boyish clothing and wore sleeveless dresses just like the ones Elincia used. Ilya moved naturally inside the dress while Firana seemed to be uncomfortable.

I spied through the portal and heard the delivery man knocking on the door.

“Alright, everyone. Time to go!” I said.

The delivery guy, a friendly young college kid with long brown hair and a wide smile, was received by a horde of small kids pressing against the doorway. I hardly made my way through the tidal wave of kids but in the end, by Elincia’s command, they dispersed.

“It was your turn to babysit the Halloween party this year, uh?” The college kid laughed and handed me the tower of steaming pizza boxes. A quick glance over my shoulder revealed the youngest kids climbing and searching every conceivable surface. I strained my brain, thinking of anything that should remain hidden. I couldn’t come up with anything. My apartment was minimalist at best, poor at worst.

“Something like that.” I replied as the kids chanted ‘pizzaman, pizzaman, pizzaman!’

The English classes were finally paying off.

“Hurry! I is hungry!” Shu complained, extending her wings as wide as they were.

“It’s ‘I am hungry’.” I mechanically replied as I pulled a bunch of wrinkled bills from my back pocket.

I was so used to Shu having wings that I didn't pay it any extra attention.

“Wow, the costumes are great, that wing movement looks really fluid. I have been delivering all day and every kid is going superhero stuff.” The delivery guy said with a genuinely surprised expression.

A smile tugged the corners of my mouth. Not only because there were no costumes involved in this Halloween party, but everything was genuine to the last scale and feather. I laughed. If someone had shown interest in the kids back at Farcrest I would’ve been on the tip of my toes. Here on Earth nobody was going after us, in front of me there was just a friendly college kid trying to make an extra buck.

“Which one is yours?” The pizza guy asked as he counted the money.

“Oh, none of them. I’m just a caretaker.” I mindlessly replied.

“Mad respect, man. I barely can with my little bro.” The pizza guy smiled. If he was aiming for a higher tip, then he was totally earning it. “So… the elf girl is not the missus?”

I put two crumpled fives on the guy’s hand and closed the door on his face. Then, the realization settled in my brain. Maybe I was more jealous than I wanted to admit. Sighing, I left five stars in the delivery app and tried to forget about it. Elincia couldn’t know or she would torment me to the day I die.

“Pizzas to the kitchen!” Elincia yelled as the kids were starting to fight against the cardboard boxes to extract their delicious contents.

Elincia might be a common looking half-elf in Farcrest, but here on Earth, she was way out of my league. Like, two or three divisions higher. I was a small, underfunded, and underperforming fourth division countryside Irish town club while Elincia was a Champions League team. I shook my head, trying to put those thoughts aside.

“And you said you were no nobleborn. You have servants bringing hot food directly to your chambers.” Elincia said as she raised her eyebrow.

The kids lined up with their plates to receive a couple slices each. As I wasn’t sure their stomachs were ready for soda, I gave them water from the tap. Elincia was beyond surprised about the concept of piping so I left her playing with the cold and hot water while I finished serving the meal.

“Hot water? Glass cups? Ceramic plates? Steel cooking utensils? You have to be the son of a Baron at least.” Elincia continued exploring the kitchen appliances. She was delighted by how lightweight the pans and cooking pots were in comparison to the cast iron ones back at the orphanage.

The kids, on the other hand, seemed to accept things as they were.

To liven up the dinner, I put on some music.

This time, Elincia raised both eyebrows.

“Alright, everyone. Put your plates in the dishwasher and grab your bags, we are going trick-or-treating!” I announced to the delight of the orphans. “Remember, no walking in the street, and no wandering far from us. If someone asks where your accent is from, you tell them ‘from the old continent’. Are we clear?”

The kids yelled a resounding ‘yes’.

We left the apartment complex and walked down the street towards the suburbs where the best candy was. Elincia and I, with the help of the older ones, managed to keep the kids at bay. Just as the pizza guy had said, almost every kid was wearing superhero related costumes so our group stood out as a sore thumb. Not that anyone really cared enough to give us a second glance.

When I exchanged greetings with the fourth group of parents, Elincia grabbed my arm and pulled me next to her.

“Why is everyone happy to greet you? Are you the son of a Count or something?”

“It’s part of the festival. They think we are fellow parents, so they are being extra cordial.”

Elincia heard my explanations with skepticism.

We reached the first house on the block. It was decorated with fake spiderwebs and plastic pumpkins, and the lights were on, so I assumed they had candy for trick-or-treaters. I gave the kids the go-ahead and the younger kids ran up to the door, as the older kids slowly followed them.

“I don’t understand why they decorate their home as undead dungeons. Are people celebrating some famous dungeon conquest?” Elincia asked.

“We are celebrating consumerism and our dead. But mostly consumerism.” I replied.

The joke flew over Elincia’s head.

The kids knocked on the door and raised their bags. As soon as a middle aged couple dressed as skeletons opened the door, the kids yelled trick-or-treat. The Halloween enthusiast couple were delighted with the kid’s ‘costumes’ and placed a few candies on each bag. As instructed, they thanked the couple and returned to us.

Shu was beaming while Nokti was appalled.

“The nice Skeleton Lady called me cute.” The harpy girl said with a wide smile on her face.

“I was called scary…” Nokti added as soon as my glance fell on her.

Of course, for a Skeleton Couple, calling a costume ‘scary’ was a compliment.

“I’m sure they said that because you look like a fierce warrior.” I said, bringing a little light to Nokti’s gloomy expression.

“Looking scary is a compliment. I have been called that twice by now.” Wolf added, puffing his chest and showing his tusks.

“You’re right. I’ll be the scariest snakefolk.” Nokti said, showing her fangs.

I wasn’t so sure that was a good idea but I let it slip.

We continued walking down the block and visiting the houses that looked festivity-friendly. The kids were having a blast. Shu didn’t get tired of receiving compliments while Nokti and Virdian tried to negotiate candy in exchange for potatoes. Most homeowners asked if that was some new trend and ultimately complied with the snakefolk twins’ demands. After an hour or so, Nokti and Virdian had gathered several different types of potatoes each, which seemed to be the discovery of the century considering there was only one type of potato in Farcrest. I wondered if I should tell them the pair of sweet potatoes they had received weren’t technically potatoes.

Even Firana got compliments for her dress which seemed to considerably boost her mood.

After a long walk through the neighborhood, we reached a small playground next to a baseball pitch hidden between the houses. Families enjoyed the fresh breeze of the afternoon while kids ran around the playground. A group of schoolgirls hung on a corner of the playground while the parallel bars were being used by a group of young men and women practicing calisthenics.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

“Let’s rest for a moment.” I said, walking towards a bench.

The youngest kids left the candy bags with us and ran towards the playground. Even if they belonged to a completely different world, there was something deeply alluring about a hulk of iron and colored plastic. Zaon, Firana, Wolf, and Ilya sat on a bench near the parallel bars.

“This is surprisingly peaceful.” Elincia said, subtly grabbing my hand and interlocking fingers with me.

“Shall we repeat it next year?”

“But you have to take me for a drive in those metallic horseless carts.” Elincia grinned at me.

“We’ll get the fastest thing my license allows me to drive.” I grinned back.

“You can’t drive the fastest thing?”

“Few people bother with a motorcycle license, it’s like riding a really fast horse. Instead of being able to sit in a nice seat you’d have to cling onto my back.” I explained.

Elincia clung onto me with a mischievous smile. “That doesn’t sound too bad either.”

We leaned against each other and watched over the younger kids. Meanwhile, a couple benches away from us, the group of highschool girls approached Zaon.

“Hey there! I LOVE your Legolas costume!” The leader of the flock, a girl dressed as a hobbit, said.

“He’s clearly a Vulcan.” A girl dressed like a Redshirt interjected before Zaon could open his mouth.

“Have you ever seen a Vulcan dressed as a renaissance archer? Plus he doesn’t have the funky eyebrows.” Hobbit girl replied as she closely inspected Zaon’s ears.

The highschool girls covered Zaon in compliments, completely ignoring the existence of Firana and Ilya. Understanding he was going to be the center of attention, Zaon looked around, searching for help. However, he only found Firana and Ilya’s disdainful glances. Wolf, on the other hand, was busy talking with the calisthenics lot. They were interested in his training regime.

Zaon glanced at me. I gave him a thumbs up.

“Your hair is very pretty! What shampoo do you use?”

“I u-use a homemade soap.”

“Really?! Your mother must be a wizard with beauty products.”

“A-an Alchemist, actually.”

“You are so funny! Do you have Insta?”

“W-what?”

“Give me your phone and I'll add myself.”

“I d-don’t have it with me.”

“Of course not. A Middle Earth elf would not carry a phone. Do you have a napkin?”

“He’s a Vulcan. What’s your name, by the way?”

“Z-Zaon.”

“That’s totally a Vulcan name.”

The hobbit girl scribbled something on Zaon’s napkin before returning it.

“I feel like my mother writing her phone number for my dad back in the 60’s.” The hobbit girl chuckled.

“Let me see that napkin too.” The redshirt girl hastily added.

“Where are you from, Zaon?”

“T-the old continent.”

“Swedish?”

“Y-yeah?”

“I knew it! You are too pretty to be from around here.”

Elincia and I looked at the scene in awe.

“We should do something before Firana commits assault and battery.” Elincia pointed out. Before redshirt-girl could give the napkin back to Zaon, the other girls in their group had all added whatever form of contact info they had to it as well. Finally, Hobbit girl rubbed her arm against Zaon before returning the napkin.

Firana reached for her empty scabbard.

I let out a strong whistle.

“Come on kids!” I yelled just loud enough for the small kids to hear me.

Zaon retrieved the napkin and, after a couple awkward hand touches, the squad reunited around me. The schoolgirls waved from the other side of the playground and giggling, they went away.

“C-can we go back home now?” Zaon sighed, ignoring Firana’s piercing gaze trying to penetrate the back of his skull. The boy was tired only as an introvert after an overload of human interaction could be.

“Yes, time to go back. Everyone grab your bags, don’t forget anything.” I said, clapping my hands.

As we returned to my apartment, Wolf caught my attention.

“Mr. Clarke?”

“Yes, Wolf?”

“Can we acquire a product called ‘protein powder’?” He asked.

I sighed.

“Maybe when you turn eighteen.”

The trip back to the apartment was uneventful. The kids were too tired to cause trouble. As much as they measured the weight of their loot, none of them knew what to do with the shiny contents of their bags until I explained it was candy. I guessed my initial explanation about the activity had been incomplete at best. We rested for an hour and ate candy until the portal started weavering. Then, one by one, I sent them back to Farcrest until it was only Elincia and I.

“Can I…” She shyly said.

“Take as many pans and pots as you want.” I quickly replied.

“YESH!” Elincia said as she threw herself into my arms.

In Farcrest it was already dusk. Loki waited in front of the portal with a betrayed expression on its canine face, thumping its tail with displeasure. The Changeling must’ve been sleeping in the kid’s bedroom when we crossed the portal. No matter how much I apologized, Loki wouldn’t look at me.

Ilya and Firana herded the kids into their room without even casting a glance at Zaon. At least the girls had got to work together, if only joined by their disdain towards the elven kid. Loki followed them, making sure to whip my leg with its tail. I sighed. Before following Elincia to the bedroom, I broke the magic circle and the portal disappeared until the next year.

I closed the door and dragged my feet towards the bedroom.

Elincia was in her pajamas. Or rather, she had somehow managed to pilfer some of my clothes from my apartment before we left. She was silently examining the teflon covered pans while humming the music that I had put on earlier.

“I’d say Mr. Clarke deserves a big reward for giving us such a nice day.” Elincia said with a naughty face.

“Trick or treat.” I joked, putting my hands on her hips.

I couldn’t get to know the answer to my question because the sound of a dozen sets of steps rushing down the corridor interrupted us.

“Weren’t they super tired not a minute ago?” Elincia asked.

Then it hit me. The kids had just consumed unholy amounts of refined sugar. Kids whose only source of sugar had been fruits and roots, maybe honey once in a while.

“God, what I have done…”