Friday the 13th The Game + Mass Effect Andromeda Stream (Patreon)

It's a Scary Spooky Bullshit miracle, i actually made a normal review for once. No yelling, no pooping my pants, not even a needlessly combative title, or humorously maniacal tangent.

Integrity is like a bicycle, you never forget how to ride it, even if most folk on youtube ain't never had it to begin with. 

In today's Scary Spooky Bullshit i'm diving dick-first into the cold cunt of online multiplayer games, which combines all the pointlessness of regular games with the thrill and excitement of waiting in line at the dmv. 

Behold the drunken misadventures of Jason More-Trees, a man with the power to astral project his essence and propel it at mach speed for an entire 5 yards before careening into one of his many trees, and getting hung up on a branch like one of those big-ass silkworm webs. Believe it or not, legend has it this man was once scary. 

In edition to the rare "video by me that's actually tightly written and digestible", there's also the old Endlett Je Special, a 2.5 hour lets play that i streamed randomly when no one was looking at 4 in the morning. 

Scary Spooky Bullshit? Think again, Bozo. This time you're getting a spork-full of healthy, nutritious, Sci-Fi Salad. I'm talking outer space. I'm talking exploration. I'm talking a good old-fashioned optimistic vision of mankind's future, bangin alien bimbos and slangin future drugs. Mass Effect Andromeda. I finally played it, because it was on sale and my standards have fallen as my hope and joy has withered over these long, wasted years. 

My verdict so far? It's okay. Not even bad, to be honest. I guess there's nowhere to go but up after what they did to this series last time. I'm not saying the Mass Effect is redeemed or anywhere close to its glory days, i'm simply saying i haven't felt the need to put my foot through the TV screen... yet. 

That may change, however. If i have to hear one more vegan-voiced chicken-wuss lisping his gender-fluid dialogue out the once-proud croak-hole of a kool-ass Krogan, i'm gonna blow my quad all over this game and all it's pussified programmers. 

More like Mass Effect: Androgynous. Huh huh huh. Got em. 

Blue Glow - Mass Effect: Andromeda

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ClceJAAPFk

Friday The 13th The Game Review

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTDAoX_BNoU