Scary Spooky Bullshit Returns (Patreon)

Oh god, Oh Satan, Oh every kooky ooky dook in between, Scary Spooky Bullshit Month is here for Halloween! A whole horrifying month of... gulp... doing my job. Ruh Roh. 

How many videos will i manage to crank out this time before giving up and saying "fuck this shit" just like my hero, Superhumman, challenging the Gods themselves by jumping nutsack first onto a barbed wire toilet made of legos before getting F5'd into a dumpster full of diapers by his Good Friend Paul? No one knows for sure but I intend to find out, and if that tangent didn't make any sense to you, then i guess you're not down-with-the-clown enough cause it's strictly for juggalos and juggalettes. Whoop Whoop. 

I never know how to package these things in terms of Patreon Posts, so i just play it by fear. AAAAAH HAA HAAA HAAA (that's a Cryptkeeper cackle, not a Joker laugh, I'm a man of wealth and taste, not some common clown). 

Here's the first 4 for this year, all smashed together into one terrifying post of pain. 

1. Hereditary

Longtime patrons will have already seen this one. But i assume those guys are all dead from fright because this movie is far too Helly to be seen, smelled, or even thought about without supervision by an experienced Ghostbuster, Winchester, or Vampire Slayer (by which i obviously mean Buffy, although Blade is also acceptable).  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBn_M94qSGQ

2. The Conjuring

A very stupid and ridiculously successful movie that is indirectly responsible for Aquaman. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThPI3VONxxk

3. Friday The 13th (2009)

A movie that features both Jason Voorhees and Jared Padelecki and somehow managed to squander that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yqdh9yGg1ug

4. You're Next

Home Alone, Wyatt Edition. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozTKTN_JkjI

Oh crap, none of these movies are very good so far except for Hereditary, and that's a leftover from last year's Helly Harvest. Hopefully as this year's batch of bullshit conjures itself into being, the scales are balanced with some more decent stuff. But hopefully nothing quite so Helly, i'm not ready for that. No one's ever ready. But ain't nothing you can do about it. The only way out of Scary Spooky Bullshit Month is forward. As a wise man once said, when you're going through Hell, keep going. 

Scary Spooky Bullshit is the ultimate crapshoot, sometimes you roll a nat 20 and other times you get snake eyes, and those are two entirely different kind of dice games so none of us know what the Hell's going on. Good luck even figuring out the rules, let alone drawing a winning hand. Ah shit now we're bringing cards into it? I told you man, It's gon' be a Helly ride, only slightly less confusing and nonsensical than actual poker. 

Scary Spooky Bullshit Month is like a box of chocolates, and some of them contain razorblades. i never know what i'm gonna watch, what i'm gonna say, or what's gonna happen. I make these videos like I live my life... stupidly. 

Good movie? Bad movie? Video game? Weird sex dream i had? Nothing's off limits as long as it's Scary, Spooky, Bullshit, or preferably all of the above. I both respect and fear Scary Spooky Bullshit month. Its power is great, and it brings with it an all consuming chaos into my life and your subscription feed. 

Welcome to die!